Blah
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah, blah blah blah blah, blah blah! Blah. Please tell this to everyone so the earth will be a better place ( or at least a place with more blahs)!
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Rooney 'caught short' whilst out shopping in town. No problem these days.
Wayne Rooney has made great progress since being caught urinating in public. He has now hired fashion guru Irma Farg Ott to design and manufacture male diapers for him-in Man.U. colours of course.
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Basil Fawlty Remark Gets Revamp!
"Don't mention the war!!" has now been upgraded to "Don't mention the Wedding!"said the Archbshopp of Canterbury
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United get the "boot" as Scholes puts the "boot" in!
Man City have achieved the impossible, beating their neighbours United, but it needed Paul Scholes's boot before they gave United the "boot", after all he is a ginger headed Red Devil!
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UK gay couple get barred for having a snog in the bar!
A Gay couple having a snog in a public bar in Soho were barred by the straight landlord, now they are public heroes on You Tube because everybody in Soho is feeling "gay", what a shithole!
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Sen. Jon Kyl Misspeaks Again
Kyl's statement, "90% of what congress does helps America," not intended to be a factual, according to Kyl's press person.
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Berbatov couldn't quite squeeze it in...
OOoooooohhh!!!!!!!!!!!
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Having Sex is the Number One Cause of Getting Laid, Says Scientists
NEW YORK - [more as in comes in]
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Easter eggs
Easter eggs hatch and choc chicks emerge.
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written by
j.w., 16 April 2011
M1 Wins
The M1 won the Wembley semi-final of the FA Cup.
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written by
j.w., 16 April 2011
Forgot my Facebook password so....
It's raining here and I'm watching football on the telly. They lost the sattelite 'feed' for the Blackpool Wigan game so they've put on the West Ham. Aston V. game.
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The Shepherd
See yonder shepherd
On the hill
Fart fart away.
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written by
j.w., 16 April 2011
So Farewell, Trevor Bannister
"Are you free, Mr Lucas?" "I'm free."
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Why The Tea Bag Party Is Not Welcome In Vice President Joe Biden's State
The Tea Bag Party has been banned in the state of Delaware, which everyone knows is known as The Delaware Punch State.
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Sarah "The Geography Whiz" Palin Strikes Again!
Sarah Palin was asked to name a Central American country and she replied, "Hey, that's a trick question. There are no Central American countries only Central American states like Kansas and Nebraska.
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Red Bull Wants All Of The American Voters To Be Happy
The makers of the Red Bull Energy Drink in order to appeal to the voters in the Blue States will soon be marketing a companion version called the Blue Bull Energy Drink.
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Glenn Beck And The American Nazi Party
Glenn Beck has turned down The American Nazi Party's request that he run as their presidential candidate in 2012. Beck said he feels that his command of the German language is not really that good.
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Scare Tactics Again
Some liberal left wing Congresspersons are scared that their very important program of sending volleyballs to third world countries will be terminated by Republican budget cutters!
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There's a Message Herein
A school administrator who wants to provide condoms to preteens was found alive in an alley, naked, clad only in Saran Wrap!
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Fitting Justice
The TSA screener who patted down a six year old Indiana girl may be charged with molesting a minor and the woman's name placed on a sex offender registry list.
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Spend Till the USA Goes Bankrupt
An NIH study shows that President Obama and the Democratic far left liberals are addicted to spending US taxpayer's money wantonly and can't kick the habit!
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Democratic Left Wing Rhetoric
A Mr. Shakespeare listening to President Obama's speech about reducing the USA's debt by raising taxes was heard to say "it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing!"
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Prancing with Wolves
A note found in a Montana forest reads "there are too many of us wolves now, please send more environmentalists as the last batch was delicious!"
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Gotcha!
Chicago school principal who banned kids bringing unhealthy bag lunches to school was found in a fast food restaurant gorging himself on cheeseburgers, French fries, onion rings and ice cream shakes!
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First Lady to the Rescue
Michelle Obama solves the USA's spending problem by shredding President Obama's "Federal Credit" cards, while he was making his speech on debt reduction!
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Population Growth Explained
The 2010 US Census indicated the number of people living around nuclear power plants rose by 17 % in the past decade. Obviously, there must be more hot women available in these locations!
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Czar or Tsar
The 2011 budget bill eliminates funding for four Obama administration policy czars. Anybody remember what happened to the one Russian Tsar in 1917?
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Tax on the Rich
President Obama's 2012 budget proposal calls for a tax on "rich" desserts, cakes and pies. The president said the bourgeoisie won't be eating cake on my watch!
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Food Tax
Washington DC area restaurants are offering free food on April 15, 2011. President Obama calls for raising taxes instead of cutting spending & that the free food must be declared as income to the IRS!
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Love Your Brown Eyes
Tree huggers will not use the potty for three days, celebrating earth day. These rabid environmentalists will save 2 billion gallons of water and their eyes will turn brown in color!
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A Simple Solution
House Minority Leader Pelosi (D-CA) proposes legislation that prohibits all commercial airliners from flying at night. Thus no need for air traffic controllers at night, they can go home to sleep!
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Any Takers
A Maryland Republican Congressman petitions EPA to allow use of an existing insecticide on stink bugs attacking fruit orchards. Even money bet the EPA isn't heard from by harvest time in five months!
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California Lawmakers hang out in Texas
California and Texas Lawmakers were seen hanging out at Saxon Pub on 6th Street in Austin with Governor Rick Perry eating brownies and pretending to be dancers from Dancing with the Stars.
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