Order by:
Rating:

Chinese Juan Good Best Doughnuts

Chinese Juan Good Best Doughnuts seems to be the latest hangout in Lower Manhattan. At least it's where a lot of police hang out. Maybe it's a rough neighborhood.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Talk About Dumb

A Polish is arrested in front of wife and son, for 'anti-gipsy' email that he didn't even write. "Just shows you how dumb these Polock are, arrested for some writing he didn't do", states officer.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

"Got Me A New Blanket, Eh?"

Mayor of New Liberty, Kansas apparently only knows one joke about buying a solar powered blanket. Everyone's heard it at least 20 times now. Almost daily now you hear, "Well, he comes Mayor Blanket."

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

I Could Use A Drink

East Kentucky man, running his car on alcohol, pulled over by police begins celebrating when he learns they're going to throw him in the tank!

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Obama Breaks Another Record

After his speech at the Pentagon, President Obama went straight to the White House and signed a record 1,000th IOU to China.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Expect More Layoffs?

Billionaires, totaling 50 individuals, including more than 10 billionaires, 40 multi-millionaires was decidedly pessimistic on the U.S. economy, investment opportunities & the Obama administration.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Obama Lying Again?

OBAMA: 'We are not and never will be at war with Islam'! "You Lie!" shouted loud but no one saw Joe anywhere!

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

US Poverty Gains!

US poverty on track to post record gain in 2009. Lyndon B. Johnson turns over in his grave.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Appeal For Tolerance?

Obama commemorates 9/11 with appeal for tolerance. They may be killing Christians all over the world but they're just throwing a temper tantrum!

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Who Will, Who Won't?

Florida church may not burn Qurans, but Kansas church says it will. Brett Favre says he hasn't made up his mind yet.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

North & South Korea Talks

North Korea proposes talks with South on split infinitives!
I'm sorry, that should be families.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Calls For Tolerance!

Obama commemorates 9/11 with appeal for tolerance for himself for his first two years in office.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

First The Discovery Channel

Man who took hostages at the Discovery Channel this week had the BBC on his list for "Next". Reason: "They talk funny!"

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Wouldn't Help!

Democrats abandon plans to pull out fall elections by legalizing pot. "They're too stoned to vote!"

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Be A Kid Again

Cheapo Airlines offer half price tickets as Spruce Goose-sized planes have swing seats hanging from the roof.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Mars Probe Now Here

Mars Probe discovered roaming around Window Rock in the desert high country. Seems to have been sent back to study earth.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Lotion Eating Oil?

Scientists now say that sun screen lotion in the ocean helped grow oil eating microbes a little at a time over the years.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Might Be Cause Of Higher Temps?

Experts urges that there be no panic but according to latest findings, the earth is two foo closer to the sun than in 1980.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Kelloggs Objects

President blocked by GOP on banning cluster bombs, outlaws clusters cereal!

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Rivalry Hurting Us

Washington Post: Counterterrorism effort marred by rivalry between FBI, CIA, PETA, NCAA, ACLU!

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

"It's Election Time Somewhere!"

"Kenyans For The Truth" begin campaign against Obama in 2012 already!

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

US Seventh Warlike Nation!

Poll: Greenland is the least likely to declare war on anyone. The US is seventh. Today, the US declared war on Greenland.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Obama Makeover!

The new White House makeover includes ten practice putting greens!

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Buy The Bag!

Most Airlines now ask for a deposit on their barf bags as soon as you get on board. Buy one! If not, get ready for some fancy plane-dipping.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Burn That Audubon!

Muslim crowd burns pictures of birds after being told book by Audubon "Birds Of America" is the world's most expensive book.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Third World Rebuffs Gates Foundation's Latest Gift

Microsoft founder's offer of Trojans to prevent viruses rejected despite added security of Javascript pop-up asking users if they want to continue.

written by manbrad, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Obama Speaking At Pentagon

Obama to speak today at Pentagon. Sends wife, Michelle, to troubled Ground Zero spot on 911 anniversary.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Reverend Terry Jones,

Letter from God to Reverend Terry Jones,

Are you a fucking idiot?

written by truybill, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Mel Gibson Weighs in on Koran Burning Debaucle

Mel Gibson announced today that if that panty waist preacher from Gainesville is too chicken to burn the Koran, he can step aside and let a real religious whackjob take over. Then he hit a woman.

written by Charpa93, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Man Rescued In Wheelie Bin "A Cat Lover."

Lifeboat crews have rescued a man off the coast of Anglesey - in a wheelie bin!

Spokesman said: "When we picked him up he said he went after it because he swore he could hear a cat mewing in it."

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Men Better Looking, Women Sexier!

How Britain attracts more migrants than France AND Germany!

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Muslim World Violent Dispite Burning Called Off!

Violent backlash across Muslim world despite Pastor Terry Jones finally calls off 9/11 Koran-burning. "Might as well go ahead as it seems to make no difference."

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

IMF Forecast "Gloomy."

Said spokesman: "I'm just, like, totally fed up with it all. You know? I can't be arsed any more. Ask someone else.

"It's all crap anyway."

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Big Brother Is Here

Special investigation: It took just one hour for internet experts to find out almost every private detail of this woman's life! Even pics of house, health history and age despite what she claims.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Family Wants Body Returned

Give us Gareth's body back: Dead MI6 spy's family demand independent tests to find out truth. "If police won't do anything, we will."

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Capitalist Not Communist!

Castro: I Meant That 'Capitalist System' Doesn't Work. Not that our communist system has failed. Of course, on the surface it looks like a dump but underneath it's doing well. Ahem!

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

White House reporters abuzz over wedding ring-less president.!

White House reporters abuzz over wedding ring-less president. Told by Bill Clinton that it doesn't work. "They all know your face."

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Obama Not Wearing Wedding Ring

White House reporters abuzz over wedding ring-less president. "Everybody seems to be upset with me", states President Obama!

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Record Setting Game

FLASH: NFL opener sets ratings record; Most-watched regular season game in 14 years. Most viewers say that had no money to do anything else.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Rits Out Of Conrol

Afghans riot over Koran burning. Burn American flag, effigy of Obama, furniture, Koran.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Should Have Checked That Out Earlier

"Father" of 55 children arrested in suspected benefits scam. Owes the government two million dollars.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Bartenders Know A Lot

Pub offers free advice to long-term jobless, your sex life and what Washington is up to these days.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Yoko Ono Installation

Yoko Ono installation seeks healing amid violence. Promises not to sing.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

New Book Out By Alphabet's Daughter

Schwarzenegger-Shriver daughter writes first book. Printers having a hard time getting her full name on the cover.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

'Sing Out' Co-Founder Dead!

Irwin Silber, Sing Out magazine co-founder, dies. "Oh, Silber the founder is dead! Sibler the founder is dead! Everybody!!"

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

China Growing Past Food Supplies?

China's inflation edges up, driven by food costs. Ten more cities appear overnight with one million population each.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

For Sale:

One Koran, slightly singed. Tel. Florida: 3642 8872 and ask for Terry.

written by IN SEINE, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Easy Pickings!

Regulators close small Florida bank that financed over 100 kids lemonade stands.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Daley Still Passionate A Being Mayor

Daley: Passion for being Chicago mayor remains. Hard to give up all this power, Power! POWER!!!

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Voter Anger Grows

Obama: Voter anger could hurt Dems in elections. Somebody must be stirring them up.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

No Burning Promise Has No Effect. Just Want To Riot

Thousands of Afghans in anti-Quran-burning protest accidentally burn down four mosques.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Politician Goes Viral?

Ohio politician goes viral with nomination pitch. Actually saying out loud what most Americans feel!

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Answer Seems Obvious

Striking Greek protesters to confront government on economy! "Why aren't we getting anything done?"

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

"Can't We All Get Along"

Obama remembers Sept. 11, calls for unity. Gets hit by shoe.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

"But I Don't Want To Go Home At 33"

Universities and colleges stress studying. Pass new policy against staying at college for more than ten years.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Used Software Sales Threatened

Appeals court ruling threatens used software sales. May have to go underground and into black market!

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Jimmy Carter Syndrome #2

Iran balks at release of American woman. Where's today's Ronald Reagan? "Release all three of we blow you to smithereens."

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Jimmy Carter Syndrome

Iran balks at release of American woman. "With all this 9-11 stuff, we're not getting enough publicity."

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Obama's Health Care Plan Not Cared About

FACT CHECK: Obama's tone shifts on health care as he voice goes into a high Bob Dylan-like whine!

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

FACT CHECK: Obama's tone shifts on health care

"This horrible plan that's CONGRESS has pushed down our throats!"

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

President Obama Flip-Flopping Away!

FACT CHECK: Obama's tone shifts on health care. After all the bribes to hold-outs & getting it passed, nobody seems to want it.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Passenger Disrupts Plane. Won't Say Who!

Disruptive passenger taken off Mich.-Fla. flight after snorting some cocaine hid up her Hilton ass.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

"We're All Going To Die!"

Disruptive passenger taken off Mich.-Fla. flight after falling asleep and dreaming about crash.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

All Using 9-11 For Politics

The Charlatans Have Taken Over 9/11 as every political form the President to new dog catcher candidate tries to take advantage of the event.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Imaging Drugs Deadly #2

FDA warns of deadly side effect with imaging drugs. 1,000 times worse than x-rays. But where else can the hospitals get enough money to stay open as illegal immigrants don't pay.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Imaging Drugs Deadly

FDA warns of deadly side effect with imaging drugs. 1,000 times worse than x-rays. "But you have to have them in case you're sick!"

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Not A Good History

Catholics in England suffered long. Protestants in Europe suffered from Catholics. Islam caught it from Crusaders. Christians still catching it from Islam. Jews pretty well caught hell from everybody.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Glad He Remembered

Obama remembers Sept. 11, calls for unity. Stringing up Osama Bin Laden like a gutted deer.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

9-11 Priorties #2

The first full week of college football and the Koran burnings and riots start. Not a good sign for football fans!

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

9-11 Priorities

Islam controversies cast shadow over 9/11 events. Whatever, they better not mess with college football or out they go.

written by Bureau, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Local hunter mistakes meaning of tourist season...


Three tourists maimed in hunting accident.

written by matthatt, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Local man with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself,

...Police treating it as hostage situation.

written by matthatt, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Local cemetery raises it's burial prices.

Blames it on the cost of living.

written by matthatt, 11 September 2010
Rating:

BREAKING NEWS?

use a sledgehammer.

written by Whitters, 11 September 2010
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