There were 2,078 spoof news snippets published in September 2010. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

Order by:
Rating:

Biscuit Manufacturers' Conference Breaks Up Unexpectedly

"Crumbs!" Says surprised delegate.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 29 September 2010
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Man Rescued In Wheelie Bin "A Cat Lover."

Lifeboat crews have rescued a man off the coast of Anglesey - in a wheelie bin!

Spokesman said: "When we picked him up he said he went after it because he swore he could hear a cat mewing in it."

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 11 September 2010
Rating:

University Challenge: apology

The kebabs eaten by Ellis Ian and Mrs Fields while viewing the show were a Jamie Oliver recipe, not Nigella Lawson as stated.

EIF apologises for any distress this error may have caused.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 01 September 2010
Rating:

IMF Forecast "Gloomy."

Said spokesman: "I'm just, like, totally fed up with it all. You know? I can't be arsed any more. Ask someone else.

"It's all crap anyway."

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Executive Bonuses Back To Pre-Crisis Levels

Said Toilet & Douche spokesman: "That's right - the fat bastards are sticking their snouts in the trough again. Oh, mate - come the fuckin' revolution...!"

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 13 September 2010
Rating:

Prof Ken Lucid - A Clarification

Ken Lucid's colleagues wish to dissociate themselves from his remarks about brewers in his book review of September 1. "We trust his comments will not affect our supply of Worthington White Shield."

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 02 September 2010
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New EC Austerity Measures

Ireland sent to bed without supper, Greece grounded for two weeks. No Playstation for Portugal this weekend.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 30 September 2010
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Soft Drinks Magnate Tops China Rich List With $12bn Fortune.

"Communism's dead good, innit?" He said.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 30 September 2010
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Aldi Vs. Lidi In North America?

Aldi Vs. Lidi In North America? Doubt it. Aldi is the grocery store that smells like old bananas and pee, where Central Americans wait for day-labor work, and no one's heard of Lidi. Shop Rite Wins!

written by anthonyrosania, 24 September 2010
Rating:

Obama: ...I want to know how she tastes.

Said President Obama, on the retirement of Methuselah, "Helen Thomas looks like Grampa from The Munsters if he had on Bay City Rollers wig. Nevertheless, I want to know how she tastes.

written by anthonyrosania, 23 September 2010
Rating:

Schools 'axing rugby in favour of yoghurt'

Er, maybe 'yoga' on second thoughts...

written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
Rating:

Come, Grow in God's Word and Love. Unless...

"Growing in God's word and love," says a sign outside a Lutheran church in (Insert name of pious, Republicany city here.) "Unless you're a dirty faggot. Then, you know, taste hellfire. Mazel-tov."

written by anthonyrosania, 24 September 2010
Rating:

Tattooed woman 'told to put bag over head by Jobcentre staff'

Damned kinky these dole queue bandits I say

written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
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The man's got flawless knees.

CNN: The news today is all about some guy named Ahmadinejad and nothing about Hasselhoff getting kicked off DWTS for "bad knees". The man's got flawless knees. Cover Up!!!

written by anthonyrosania, 23 September 2010
Rating:

Attorney Shawn Chapman Holley Has Karma to Blame.

Shawn Chapman Holley, the attorney who coulnd't keep a millionaire client out of jail on a probation violation, has tasted Karma's backhand. "You were on OJ's defense team? Suffer."

written by anthonyrosania, 25 September 2010
Rating:

Too Soon?

Tony Hayward yachting in the very water he spilled oil in? Definition of too soon. That's like Elin catching Tiger Woods jerking off. Oh, sorry, UK readers: Wanking.

written by anthonyrosania, 23 September 2010
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President Obama: I run on barely concealed rage at my...

President Obama: America runs on Dunkin', I run on Marlboros, two at a time, and barely concealed rage at my absentee father.

written by anthonyrosania, 23 September 2010
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She will begin having sex with Magic Johnson at 12:01AM...

Virginia woman set to be executed tonight by lethal injection. "She will begin having sex with Magic Johnson at 12:01AM."

written by anthonyrosania, 23 September 2010
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It's NEVER the victims fault when they get raped by a pack of...

"I can't believe Mel Gibson is so insensitive," said lawyers for Oksana Eanqpuenbpefnbf: "It's NEVER the victims fault when they get raped by a pack of... Wait, am I missing the point?"

written by anthonyrosania, 23 September 2010
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Ecuador coup d'etat as President Correa's $27 billion Chevron heist bombs

Shades of I Told You So, Rafael, I Told You So!

written by queen mudder, 30 September 2010
Rating:

I Know Tragedy, Said Senate Hopeful Linda McMahon. "My Daughter Was Once Kidnapped By The Undertaker."

I Know Tragedy, Said Senate Hopeful Linda McMahon. "My Daughter Was Once Kidnapped By The Undertaker."

written by anthonyrosania, 23 September 2010
Rating:

Falling Speed Camera Convictions.

Police say they will ensure they're bolted down more securely in future.

written by Nick Hobbs, 03 September 2010
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Britney Flashes Body Guard.

Body guard sues her. Can't say a lot for her body, really!

written by Nick Hobbs, 09 September 2010
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Cheryl Cole Gets £1.50 For New L'Oreal Ads

Because she's worth it.

written by Nick Hobbs, 02 September 2010
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A Long Time Ago, In A Galaxy Far, Far Away...

Is exactly where I'd like Katie Price and Alex Reid To be.

written by Nick Hobbs, 02 September 2010
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Proof: There Is A God

Writers of 'We Buy Any Car.com' advert struck by lightning!

written by Nick Hobbs, 02 September 2010
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Road Line Painter Doesn't Know Which Way To Turn.

He says he's reached a cross-roads in his life.

written by Nick Hobbs, 02 September 2010
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Gorilla Kills Six At City Zoo.

Witnesses say he 'just went ape'.

written by Nick Hobbs, 02 September 2010
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Obama Outlaws Chinese.

He will only order pizza or hamburgers from now on.

written by Nick Hobbs, 03 September 2010
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Ashley Cole Wins Singing Contest.

It must have been The Ex-Factor.

written by Nick Hobbs, 04 September 2010
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Tobey Maguire To Play Hamlet?

Tobey or not Tobey, that is the question.

written by Nick Hobbs, 02 September 2010
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Local Vets Burns To The Ground.

Onlookers eat hotdogs while waiting for the fire department.

written by Nick Hobbs, 02 September 2010
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KFC To Open New Grilled Beef Stores In Russia.

Locals not happy with prospect of KGB restaurants on every highstreet.

written by Nick Hobbs, 02 September 2010
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Honduran Shoe Factory Massacre News

Police say victims were laced with bullets.

written by Nick Hobbs, 08 September 2010
Rating:

Spoof Writer Comments On Vajazzling

Skoob said - Looks very nice and all that, but it still smells like a shit-house door made out of fish boxes.

written by Skoob1999, 22 September 2010
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Clairvoyant Quits Job.

"I saw no future in it," she says.

written by Nick Hobbs, 30 September 2010
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Shock: He's Leaving Friday!

Robinson Crusoe finally splits from life-partner.

written by Nick Hobbs, 02 September 2010
Rating:

Alex Reid In Prostitute Shagging Scandal!

Oh, wait. No, it was just Katie Price.

written by Nick Hobbs, 08 September 2010
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Independent experts to examine David Kelly 'lies'

Good way to waste another five million quid I guess.

written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
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Breaking News...

Glass factory destroyed in massive hail storm.

written by Nick Hobbs, 08 September 2010
Rating:

Rooney Moonies Clooney.

No story, just loved the headline!

written by Nick Hobbs, 08 September 2010
Rating:

Katie Price In Donkey Shagging Scandal!

Oh, wait. No, it was just Alex Reid.

written by Nick Hobbs, 08 September 2010
Rating:

Honduran Shoe Factory Massacre Latest

Police say it's time the gunmen were brought to heel.

written by Nick Hobbs, 08 September 2010
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Honduran Shoe Factory Massacre Update

Police chief says gunmen must have had no sole.

written by Nick Hobbs, 08 September 2010
Rating:

William Hague Likes Men.

But not in a gay way.

written by Nick Hobbs, 02 September 2010
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Wurzel Gummidge Dies In Field Fire.

"It's the last straw" says a devastated Aunt Sally.

written by Nick Hobbs, 08 September 2010
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Meat Loaf To Reform.

It will come back as rump steak, without the pastry.

written by Nick Hobbs, 08 September 2010
Rating:

18 Killed In Honduran Shoe Factory Massacre.

Police believe gunmen may have been given the boot.

written by Nick Hobbs, 08 September 2010
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Li-Lo Lies Low On Lilo

Star is said to be all at sea after fresh drug allegations.

written by Nick Hobbs, 27 September 2010
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Atheists and agnostics 'know more about religion than anyone else'

Apart from the Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency!

written by queen mudder, 28 September 2010
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Bruce Forsythes Wig Sells For 50 Pence At Auction.

Buyer says 'it was a small price toupée'.

written by Nick Hobbs, 27 September 2010
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Mel Gibson Weighs in on Koran Burning Debaucle

Mel Gibson announced today that if that panty waist preacher from Gainesville is too chicken to burn the Koran, he can step aside and let a real religious whackjob take over. Then he hit a woman.

written by Charpa93, 11 September 2010
Rating:

Official: Rooney Has STD!

The Subaru Impreza STd was cheaper than the STi, but underperformed on the corners. Both had leather interior. A bit like that granny he shagged.

written by Nick Hobbs, 08 September 2010
Rating:

City boss threatened to throw financier out of window

Well, that's one way of dealing with balance sheet bad news!

written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
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Mark Lowton may receive ASBO

There is a rumour on the internet that the editor of TheSpoof.com, Mark Lowton may well-receive an ASBO for painting a sign on his garden gate. It read: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

written by IN SEINE, 05 September 2010
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Hacker Stole My Identity!

After going over my personal files, has contacted me begging to take it back.

written by Charpa93, 21 September 2010
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Britain Gets Diarrhoea

San Francisco man and fake Royal blamed. Something to do with a blueberry based diet. Brits revert to fish and chips and pie and peas in protest.

written by Skoob1999, 21 September 2010
Rating:

James Corden To Be A Father

That's no life for a child, having a dad like that.

written by Skoob1999, 29 September 2010
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Organic Food Sales Drive Kicks Off

Doomed to failure - public don't really want music with their fruit and veg.

written by Skoob1999, 29 September 2010
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Salon Owner Comments on Rose O'Donnell Vajazzling

There aren't enough Swarovski crystals in the world.

written by Charpa93, 23 September 2010
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Three-year-olds being labelled bigots by teachers??

Blame Super Nanny!

written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
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UK homosexual population: Just 1.5% of Britons say they are gay, lesbian or bisexual

The other 98.5% of respondents are lying says Gaydar

written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
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Seaman Staines Discharged From The Navy

Claims mistaken identity.

written by Skoob1999, 17 September 2010
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Deja BOOM!!!

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb; he opened it and was blown to bits.

written by IN SEINE, 05 September 2010
Rating:

BGT Star Dating Redhead

No hair - just a red head.

written by Skoob1999, 18 September 2010
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Pixie Lott Distributes Cupcakes* To Fashion Show Guests

*Buns.

written by Skoob1999, 29 September 2010
Rating:

For Sale:

One Koran, slightly singed. Tel. Florida: 3642 8872 and ask for Terry.

written by IN SEINE, 11 September 2010
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Britain's youngest mother,12, evicted 'after throwing up at wild drug-fuelled panties'

Er, should read 'after throwing wild drug-fuelled parties'...

written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
Rating:

Bad headline number 67:

Man shoots neighbour with machete

written by IN SEINE, 02 September 2010
Rating:

Vile End To Greek Demonstration.

Peace protest ends in moussaka.

written by Nick Hobbs, 30 September 2010
Rating:

New Documentary on Tony Blair's Life After Leaving Office to Air in UK

"The Blair Witch Hunt Project" is set to air in fall on BBC. Check your newspapers for local listings.

written by Charpa93, 09 September 2010
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Crowd-pleaser Vince Cable risks being urination target, says Alistair Darling

OK, maybe a bit of an exaggeration from the original story, but whaddahell, eh?

written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
Rating:

Sarah Palin's husband gets new car for her

Pretty good swap we think.

written by churchmouse, 27 September 2010
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Willy Wonka Candy Comes Up with New Candy

Due to the upsurge in popularity in everything Stephen Hawking says these days, Willy Wonka has named a new candy after him. It's called "Hawking Goobers"

written by Charpa93, 04 September 2010
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BBC's John Humphrys' abrasive voice used to scare off Old Dears from allotments

Always said he'd missed his true vocation!

written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
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Elderly forced to stand at bus stop because TfL thought the seat generates orgasms

Can't have the oldies tossing off in public, I suppose.

written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
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Bad headline Number 68

20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar

written by IN SEINE, 25 September 2010
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Milliband Distances Himself from More Famous Brother

Ed Milliband says that he is no relation to Steve Miller band who had a hit in the 70s called "abracadabra".

written by IN SEINE, 30 September 2010
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Roman Abramovich digs a £20m hole under Chelsea's Stamford Bridge

Would have been cheaper to give the money away!

written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
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Eating three square meals a day 'a better way to diet than grazing'

WTF? Not if you are a fat, lazy cow hooked on grass!

written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
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Attack on Britain from Irish terror groups a 'strong possibility' says Theresa May

Nah, it's always been Mrs Thatcher's relatives say UK cops!

written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
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Patronising leaflet tells council staff to save money by selling sex

And why not in these recession hit times?

written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
Rating:

Bad headline number 67:

10 Revolting Officers Executed

written by IN SEINE, 25 September 2010
Rating:

Bad Headline number 69:

The antique stripper to show off wares!

written by IN SEINE, 25 September 2010
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A pig that can walk on two legs discovered in China

A pig that can walk on 2 feet is treated like a local celebrity in a village in China. In London we have thousands of them that used to walk the beat, but due to cutbacks, they day behind desks.

written by IN SEINE, 30 September 2010
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Shooting siege barrister was fair game, says police marksman

Chaps down the Station would have ribbed him to pieces for offering a gun amnesty instead...

written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
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Bentley recalls 1,500-strong fleet amid fears retractable 'Winged B' could injure pedestrians

Fortunately the spiked titanium bull bars remain intact!

written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
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'Worst ever' internet paedophile jailed say cops

Oh yeah, what about that bastard on Bebo last week, say angry bloggers.

written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
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Naomi Campbell: I was a doormat at war crimes trial

Everybody knows a blood diamond is a gal's best friend!

written by queen mudder, 22 September 2010
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Guys don't care what you look like naked says Julia Roberts

Pretty damning indictment on the state of her love life says current squeeze.

written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
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Sesame St drops 'inappropriate' Katy Perry

Sure must have upset the Trash Heap big time!

written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
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The preparation for health cuts continues.

An NHS leaflet recommends taking thirty winks every afternoon.

written by matthatt, 24 September 2010
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The BBC have been broadcasting Chris Moyles and not paying him.

survey suggest that listeners would much rather this were the other way round.

written by matthatt, 23 September 2010
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Mystery US millionaire donates $8m to Australian wombats

Sexual guilt, eh?

written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
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Kazakhstan president for Nobel Peace Prize?

If Barack Obama can win it then anyone can.

written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
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Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg is valued at $6.9bn in Forbes That's Rich list

Claims to have more dosh than Apple's Steve 'Big' Jobs and NewsCorpse's Rupert 'The Bear' Murdoch

written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
Rating:

73% of Emperors of Ethiopia were Haile Selassie.

20% were Fairly Selassie. 7% weren't Selassie at all.

written by matthatt, 24 September 2010
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Local man upset to get Rolex as present from the lesbians next door.

"I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch"

written by matthatt, 19 September 2010
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Korean X-Factor, and the winner is.....

... the son of the previous winner, again!

written by matthatt, 28 September 2010
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New stand-up comedian wows UN

"Ah'm a dinner jacket" cracks Iranian President

written by pinxit, 24 September 2010
« Aug 2010 September 2010 Oct 2010 »
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84
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119
3rd
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4th
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5th
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7th
99
8th
119
9th
124
10th
129
11th
74
12th
79
13th
97
14th
101
15th
84
16th
86
17th
110
18th
24
19th
44
20th
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22nd
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23rd
62
24th
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