Order by:
Rating:

Celebrities Obviously "Love" Charity

LONDON - Children in Need, worthy charity, is just an excuse for celebs to promote new album at expense of poor kids. However, needy children get money, even though it's dirty money.

written by Inhopeless, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Records Airport Sniffing Dogs

Airport dogs thus far this year: Bombs Sniffed Out: 3. Drugs: 167 Other Dog's Ass: 134,897!

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

New Reality Show

Edwards, Woods to guest star on new reality show, "Dancing Under The Sheets!" coming in February, 2011.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Ancient Rome Landscape Near London

Ancient Roman landscape unearthed near London. "Suburb will have to be completely torn down", says archaeologist.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Columbia Declares State of Emergency

Colombia declares state of calamity after rains, floods. "Our whole illegal drug crop is under water."

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

May As Well Use Them

US sending tanks to Afghanistan for the first time. "They were just sitting over in Iraq", says Obama!

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Starts In June

Official: Transition to Afghan control could start in June. Won't say what year!

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Senator Murkowski of Alaska bounces a check

"It was an innocent mistake, says the Senator, I spelled my name wrong, it happens to everyone."

written by JAB, 19 November 2010
Rating:

What 'DWTS' mean to the Palins

When asked what 'DWTS' meant to her, daughter Bristol said, Downtown Wasilla's Trendiest Spots. Her mother, Sarah, quickly corrected her, "No dear, it refers to Douche When Trying Sex.'

written by JAB, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Amy Winehouse Denies Baby Bump

"I'm not f**king pregnant if that's what you mean, I had 10 beers,5 bags of crisps and 3 Aero bars, now piss off,oh ya and there's probably a cup of phlegm in there."

written by JAB, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Chaz Bono Remembers his Father

In memory of his father, Sonny, Chaz,formerly Chastity wants his middle name to be Nessun Albero, Italian for 'oh no a tree'.

written by JAB, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Obama To Nation: 'What should I do?'

Taking a play from LeBron James, President Obama addressed the nation from the oval office, asking Americans: 'What should I do? Should I pass a bill? Should I have an affair? What should I do?'

written by danimal, 19 November 2010
Rating:

No Report On Wind But Blades Active!

Solar power up three cents a panel as cloudy season sets in!

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Go Little Glow Worm!

The Democratic Headquarters phone number accidentally placed on ads asking men to join "The Glow Worm Society".

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Troops Needed On Border Of Mexico?

GOP Gov. Rick Perry stated today that the U.S. should be open to sending military into Mexico to help fight the drug war. Troops are needed HERE! There's a everyday battle going on right next door.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Final Fileibuster

'Oh, and another thing...': Ohio changes law to shorten final words of death row inmates after last condemned man took 17 minutes and sang three songs.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Old 'Hypocrites & Drunkards' Freed

Labour MP who branded middle class 'hypocrites and drunkards' spends night in a cell after being arrested for 'drink driving'. Cellmates chanted "Hypocrites & Drunkards! till he was released.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Camilla COULD Become Queen?

Camilla COULD be Queen: Charles breaks five-year silence on future role of his second wife. "But Mumsy will tell us."

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

On Everyone's Mind

Britain WILL get bank holiday to enjoy a national celebration for William and Kate's wedding, says Cameron as the whole world wonders: Will TheSpoof be running that day?

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Can You Move Us Elsewhere In China?

US Embassy: Beijing air quality is 'crazy bad', a brand new term for pollution!

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Not Much Of A Trial

Rangel's 'trial' spotlights flaws in House ethics process. In other words, if this had been us we would have been "censured" by serving life in prison.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Obama Feels Right At Home!

Obama in Portugal; meets with EU, NATO partners. "Here I feel as much a partner as I do with the new congress!"

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

China Not Pleased

China's Nobel fury unmatched since Soviet days. "We hate everybody and everything in the whole stupid worldwide world!"

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

We're Washing Our Hands Here

NATO to turn Afghan security control over by 2014 to whoever draws the longest straw..a sort of straw vote.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Elton John is corrupt, he bent over in Italy and the EU financed him!

Last years Elton John concert in Naples was a "bummer". The EU financed the bash because they thought Elton was promoting "gay rights" he wasn't, he was promoting himself bending over backwards!

written by Jaggedone, 19 November 2010
Rating:

King In New Role!

Larry King is now so stooped over that he's been offered an acting role as "Mr. Before" on Viagra commercials.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

China Church To Ordain Bishop

China church to ordain bishop Vatican objects to. "They are only doing that to upset us", says Pope.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Jon Gosselin Engaged?

Jon Gosselin to marry lady from Vienna who once worked at a small sausage company.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

On Night Watch

NYC To Close Firehouses At Night To Save Money. Bedbugs agree to alert them for fire bugs.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

This Ones Only Ten Million...How Much You Got?

Andy Warhol painting of a coke bottle sells for $34 Million. Winos begin painting empty bottles of Night Train all over New York City.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Probably Be Out A Long Time

Small investors shunning stock market. Could it be that they need money for food and medications?

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Rules The Empty Planet

Mars Rover pops back up on screen temporarily in Houston NASA Headquarters. Looked like it had on golden crown and robe while on a thrown.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Amateur Videos Making The Rounds

Deputies investigate fight videos featuring students called "George Foreman Jackass Films".

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Or Sworn At!

New congress to be sworn in January. President Obama plans to be out of the country again.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Food Porn List!

Food police issue 'food porn' list...big banana with two fuzzy peaches, zucchini with cherries, etc.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Three Grenades Discovered

Kirstie Alley found carrying three grenades at airport. Claims she didn't know how those got into her fat rows.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Are They Going To Force-Feed?

First Lady Michelle Obama To Announce 5,000 Abandoned Salad Bars For Schools.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Airport Sex Romps!

Airport Mobile Command Post Used for Sex Romps! Stared after searchers got all hot and bothered.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Those Airport Searches!

Will Turkey Day Fliers Cry Gobble? I Mean Fowl?.....Foul?

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Some Believe Anything

Big riot in Berkeley, California as students had been misinformed that Friday was "Clothes Optional Day".

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Knee Freak?

Woman With 2 Artificial Knees Describes 'Sexual Assault' By Screener. "He was doing fine till he grabbed my knees!"

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

STUDY: '1 IN 5' AMERICANS MENTALLY ILL!

"So if your four best friends seem quite normal...."

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Hacker Arrested!

Hacker arrested after cracking Federal Reserve. Printing bills with his ass on the backside.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Currency Wars!

NATO Chief warns against Currency Wars. "Don't listen to the Madoff Dark Side, Darth Nader!"

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Inflation Fight

Inflation fight intensifies as millions of Americans think extra weight this Holiday season could finish them off.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Breat Exams In Bars #2

Fake doctor jailed for giving breast exams in bars. Bartenders say men do that all the time. "I do it myself when some lean way over bar to order", says one.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Breast Exams In Bars

Fake doctor jailed for giving breast exams in bars. Most done on customers on back tables.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Bears Eat Dolphins!

Chicago Bears maul injury ravaged Dolphins. Dolphin fans blame BP!

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Potter To Set Records!

Box Office Preview: 'Potter' poised to set record! *Not to be confused with home movie for new parents.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Priest Arrested Again

Priest in Conan O'Brien case arrested again. Most blame it on O'Brien's boyish smile!

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Scans Are Safe?

Gov't says full-body scanners at airports are safe. Then why are all those scanned nude pics on the net?

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Little Known Law Called Bonapart's Retweet

Chinese woman sent to labor camp for retreating...retweeting!

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Apparent Breakthrough

In breakthrough, scientists trap antimatter atoms while others say that it doesn't really matter.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

A Heretic?

Tests on Danish astronomer's body will take months...after putting all the pieces together.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Stonehenge Gets Makeover

Stonehenge gets millions for major makeover. Rock polisher group to begin Monday.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Needs Looking Into!

Wildlife group targets Myanmar-China tiger trade. The Moss deal between New England and Minnesota.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Three Day Concerts

Stonehenge gets millions for major makeover from Rock Groups!

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

China Cutting Back

China takes new step to rein in lending, inflation, fire-breathing dragons!

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Pilgramage To Mecca Miracle

Latest miracle in Mecca Pilgrimage? Several say they saw John Wayne addressing Pilgrims.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Mecca To Offer Helt For Pilgrims

Mecca development promises pilgrims better hajj. Plan to give out nearly 500,000 pup tents. Quit charging for rocks to throw.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Airport Security To Change?

Airports consider congressman's call to ditch TSA. May just shoot passengers up with truth serum!

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Sticking With Reusable Bags

Shoppers shrug off fears about toxic reusable bags. There's something wrong with everything we come up with, say most.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Rings Replace Leg Bracelets

New California parole team targets sex offenders. New tracking foot bracelets replaced by smaller ones around the penis.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Idaho, Colorada Fussing Again

Idaho scientists find new seismic fault in Rockies. Colorado finds Idaho potatoes aren't any better than those in the South!

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

New Miracle Drug Will Take Awhile

New drug produces steep drop in bad cholesterol. "Only 10 more years of testing and it should be on the market. The last two for eye-catching TV commercials."

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Karen Smith is clone of Lady G.

I have just discovered, via profiles, Karen Smith is a clone!

written by Lady Godiva, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Who Would Have Thought?

AP Exclusive: Raising retirement age hurts poor, elderly.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

New Endangered List #2

'Asian unicorn', slim Americans, Brits and scaly anteater make endangered list.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

New Endangered Species

'Asian unicorn', honest politician and scaly anteater make latest endangered list.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

A Token UN Presence

NATO forces to stay with Afghans post-2014. "We'll keep a building and ambassador there with 10,000 guards", say members. "Maybe a roof reading for copter landings."

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Bringing In Viewers.

Palin's success raises tempers, boosts ratings. Three more TV sets reportedly shot out during last show.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Peach The Dog Brings Cuteness

Peach the Chihuahua: Japan's newest police dog helpful during police stand-offs. Once he's released, criminals drop weapons to pet him.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

New NKorea Nuke Building

Satellite appears to show NKorea nuke building. UN not concerned. "NKorea is such a stable country."

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

China Reining In Inflation, Other Problems

China takes new step to rein in lending, inflation, 100,000 page telephone book.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

China Taking Control

China takes new step to rein in lending, inflation, jokes about 'more Chins than China'.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Suspicious Package At Airport Only A Test

Germany: Namibia suspicious package was only a security test. But by whom?

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Mortgages Getting More Complicated Daily

Man makes ridiculously complicated chart to find out who owns his mortgage. Conclusion: Has no idea.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Raising Retirement Age Doesn't Lead To Savings

If you cannot retire at 65-66, unhealthy will simply apply for disability.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Raising Retirement Age Won't Save Money

AP Exclusive: Raising retirement age hurts poor. No kidding? Our bodies are pretty worn at retirement stage now.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Could Unite Earth If Planet Occupied?

First glimpse of a planet from another galaxy. If it's inhabitable, will it unite Earth? Naaa. Probably not. And that wouldn't be OUR nations fault.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Facebook Founder to Make Movie About Himself

Mark Zuckerberg is making his own movie about himself because he doesn't like "The Social Network" that makes him look like a loner. Mr. Zuckerberg will show his funny side.

written by UWGB-Beek, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Does This Change Everything?

First glimpse of a planet from another galaxy. Scientists and crazies are excited.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

We Are Not Alone!

First glimpse of a planet from another galaxy. Why haven't we seen it before?

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

New Planet Discovered

First glimpse of a planet from another galaxy. Or is that a planet? Has it moved?

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Tony Parker Thinks Sexting Isn't Cheat

Tony Parker admitted to sexting a bunch of women, but didn't feel it was wrong, because he never planned on really giving the women what they wanted.

written by UWGB-Beek, 19 November 2010
Rating:

That's Where We Differ

First glimpse of a planet from another galaxy. "We'll know them by their foreheads", says NASA.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Poor Members Lining Up

Irish, EU, IMF face marathon talks for loan deal. Followed close,y by Portugal, Greece, etc. etc.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

It's Not Just The Two Of Us Now

US-Russian 'reset' in trouble as nuke pact stalls. For one thing, there are many nuclear weapons out there that belong to neither.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Sports Writers Get One Right

Sports writers finally did the right thing and voted for the best pitcher in the league and not the guy that made the most money or played on the best team.

written by UWGB-Beek, 19 November 2010
Rating:

China The Elephant In The Room

NATO summit in Lisbon: Can the alliance modernize? Even more, can they learn to deal with China?

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Cam Newton Starts Pro Career Early

Cam Newton started his pro career early because his dad believed he was just that good. "I needed a new BMW, so I made Auburn pay to have my son play at their school." Cam's dad said.

written by UWGB-Beek, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Bears Flog Dolphins

The Bears flogged the Dolphins in what appeared to be an otherwise snoozer of a game.

written by UWGB-Beek, 19 November 2010
Rating:

TSA and Facebook join to create Junkbook

In an effort at PR damage control, the TSA strikes a deal with the social media giant to capitalize on the popularity of porn. The new site lets users post their x-ray scans, and blog about it.

written by Juvenal Delinquent, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Physicists say antimatter matters

Relatively speaking, of course.

written by Juvenal Delinquent, 19 November 2010
Rating:

News of the apocalypse pre-empted by story about missing miners

"We interrupt news of the end of the world to bring you yet another story about a group of miners trapped deep below the earth. All life may be ending, but at least you're above ground."

written by Juvenal Delinquent, 19 November 2010
Rating:

City Rethinks 'Happy Meal' Decision

Food now considered for banning; nutritiously sound toys to stay.

written by Moby, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Thought For The Day:

Why aren't all greyhounds grey?

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 19 November 2010
Rating:

UN Troops Stoned As Haiti Cholera Spreads

Actual Headline from Sky News.

written by Moby, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Tiger Woods on Twitter

First tweet an emphatic shout-out to Tony Parker.

written by Moby, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Watchmen's Rorschach Loses Facebook Account

The reason given was "Lack of Face".

written by Q. William Bacon, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Bill Gates Wins Lucrative "Richest American" Award

Forbes Magazine's "Richest American" Award, once again goes to Microsoft founder William Gates III. As is tradition, he will be presented with a gold medal, a diploma, and a $100 million prize.

written by Q. William Bacon, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Neanderthal Children Grew Up Fast Or Flat!

Neanderthal children 'grew much faster than first modern humans' 'Last week gave Og spanking. Today he gave me one!'

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Donald Trump's Castleboat Capsizes Again

KEY WEST, Florida - "Anyone can own a houseboat," says billionaire Donald Trump. "I'm not just anyone. I own a castleboat. In fact, a replica of Bavaria's famed Neuschwanstein Castle, as a boat."

written by Q. William Bacon, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Government Demands Cuts!

Government's own immigration watchdog says numbers must be cut by a quarter. Everyone have their machetes?

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Scanners Disease

Airport X-ray scanner is just as likely to kill you as a terrorist bomb. Just slower and a lot more painful.

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

What Month IS This?

Fourfold leap in direct debit theft: Victims failing to check their bank statements. Too busy scratching their ass!

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Don't Mess Things Up With Facts!

Forensic scientists are 'improperly' swaying juries warns senior judge. "I don't need facts when you can tell if he's guilty by the look on his face!

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Russell Brand won't Face Charges in LAX Spat

Following his arrest last September, prosecutors said they saw his junk in an airport scanner and don't think they could hold a straight face in a court room.

written by JAB, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Susan Boyle Tops Charts Simultaneously in US, UK

Good on ya Sue, you're in good company - the last ones to do it - were the Monkees - ooooh oohhh aaaah aaahhhh.

written by JAB, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Silent Film Star Marie Osborne Yeats Dies at 99

Please! A moment of silence is in order.

written by JAB, 19 November 2010
Rating:

NHS Changes

Now you'll have to ring a call centre to see your GP: Receptionists face axe in plan to automate doctors' appointments...We Are Borg!

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Myers-Briggs Test Confirms that Local Man is an Asshole

"The Myers-Briggs is based on a theoretical model of personality that has not been scientifically validated, so we should take their conclusions with a grain of salt," said the asshole.

written by Q. William Bacon, 19 November 2010
Rating:

eHarmony.com Matches Masturbator with Self

"I don't know how the technology works, but eHarmony really understands me," says masturbator.

written by Q. William Bacon, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Fidel Satisfied

In Cuba today, Fidel Castro says that he is happy with the direction of Cuba at the present time..."wherever the hell that is!"

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
Rating:

PETA Wants the Government to Investigate itself

People for the Ethical treatment of Animals say, "The Federal government is trying to cover up a lame duck, we demand a full investigation."

written by JAB, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Pelosi Starts Draining the Swamp

Nancy Pelosi's pledge to start draining the swamp has started with Charlie Rangel,only 434 members to go.

written by JAB, 19 November 2010
Rating:

Just In Time For The Holidays

Remember, the Xerox Company says that their new copier, the X-9 model, will be the only copier to copy your ass in 3D!

written by Bureau, 19 November 2010
« Oct 2010 November 2010 Dec 2010 »
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2nd
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3rd
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4th
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5th
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6th
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7th
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8th
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10th
91
11th
76
12th
78
13th
103
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16th
97
17th
120
18th
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20th
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