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Shaq May Miss Rest Of NBA Season With Sprained Thumb

He might miss the playoffs if the same finger gets a hangnail.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Shaq May Miss Rest Of NBA Season With Sprained Thumb

He tried to be like the poor little Dutch boy who put his finger in the dyke, but this one slugged him.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
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Shaq May Miss Rest Of NBA Season With Sprained Thumb

Actually, he stuck it in Ivana Phuque, and now his thumb has Crabs.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
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Shaq May Miss Rest Of NBA Season With Sprained Thumb

Blames injury on Big Baby Davis, but who is the real baby here?

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
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Shaq May Miss Rest Of NBA Season With Sprained Thumb

This rivals Deon Sanders' sprained little toe as lamest sport's excuse ever.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
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Author stuck for sequel title to The Vagina Monologues

The Nipple Narratives?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Author stuck for sequel title to The Vagina Monologues

The Douche Discourses?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Author stuck for sequel title to The Vagina Monologues

The Diaphram Disciminations?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Author stuck for sequel title to The Vagina Monologues

The I.U.D. Inuendos?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Author stuck for sequel title to The Vagina Monologues

The Dildo Diaries?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Obama Extends Wii Invitation to Republicans

In one last-ditch effort to extend a bipartisan hand to the Republicans on health care reform, President Obama invites Democrats and Republicans to the White House for a joint playing of Nintendo Wii.

written by Nik Voelz, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Author stuck for sequel title to The Vagina Monologues

Crotch Chatter?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Author stuck for sequel title to The Vagina Monologues

The Testicle Talks?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Author stuck for sequel title to The Vagina Monologues

The Asshole Arguements?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Author stuck for sequel title to The Vagina Monologues

The Titty Talks?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Author stuck for sequel title to The Vagina Monologues

The Cunt Conversations?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Author stuck for sequel title to The Vagina Monologues

The Dick Discussions?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Author stuck for sequel title to The Vagina Monologues

The Vagina Travelogues?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Author stuck for sequel title to The Vagina Monologues

The Penis Interventions?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Author stuck for sequel title to The Vagina Monologues

"I can't talk now, my mouth is full"?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Author stuck for sequel title to The Vagina Monologues

The Vagina Dialogues?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Spring News

with Victoria Pine.

Out by the mere this morning I saw goblin's toes and rotten spleenwort. The moles capered in the sun. Squire Baddely was already at work raping the village virgins. Spring is nigh!

written by Erskin Quint, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Bishop 'Denies Illegal Importing'

The Bishop of Westward Ho! denied illegally importing a coypu yesterday. 'I came home and found the creature nibbling the snowdrops', he claimed. 'I have no idea how it got there.' The case continues.

written by Erskin Quint, 01 March 2010
Rating:

South-East Set for Storms

Jolian Mooncalf, 54, of Hassocks in Sussex, has failed to set a new record for dancing with a cow. The Polka went well, but the belted galloway turned up her snout at the Gay Gordons.

written by Erskin Quint, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Decorating Tips

An Ethiopian Wicker Sphere is one of the best coracles for night fishing in small reed-girt lakes or pools. 'I haven't found a better way to approach a slumbering pike', claims Phil Twytte of Ely Anglers.

written by Erskin Quint, 01 March 2010
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Home Cooking

Jolian Mooncalf, 47, of Hassocks in Sussex, failed yesterday in a new record attempt. Mooncalf, 57, was trying to roast and eat his house. The house burnt down. 'Just like Sunday lunch!' he said.

written by Erskin Quint, 01 March 2010
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Why the Middle Eastern Countries Were Shut Out of the Medal's Stand at the Winter Olympics

Several athletes on the teams were on the International Don't Fly lists, so never made it to Vancouver.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
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Woman in Kayak Record

June March, 24, the first woman to cross Mount Snowdon in a kayak, told reporters 'I did it for my Grandad Jarrow'. Jarrow March died in 1967 while attempting to cross the Sargasso Sea on a bicycle.

written by Erskin Quint, 01 March 2010
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Why the Middle Eastern Countries Were Shut Out of the Medal's Stand at the Winter Olympics

The couple that the sent to the pairs figure skating was not married, so they couldn't touch each other.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Why the Middle Eastern Countries Were Shut Out of the Medal's Stand at the Winter Olympics

No one made it to the second round of "suicide bomber" tryouts.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
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Why the Middle Eastern Countries Were Shut Out of the Medal's Stand at the Winter Olympics

Sliding down a sand dune on a piece of cardboard is not good preparation for the slalom race.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
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Why the Middle Eastern Countries Were Shut Out of the Medal's Stand at the Winter Olympics

The Koran doesn't mention that snow and ice are cold.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
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Why the Middle Eastern Countries Were Shut Out of the Medal's Stand at the Winter Olympics

Too many were trying to barbeque goat on the Olympic flame.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
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Inventor Dies

Percy Flage, inventor of the wooden tea towel, died yesterday. Flage, who was 57, was also renowned as inventor of the aluminium ear guard favoured by Prince Charles, and the paper overcoat.

written by Erskin Quint, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Why the Middle Eastern Countries Were Shut Out of the Medal's Stand at the Winter Olympics

The camels didn't like wearing skis or snowboards.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Why the Middle Eastern Countries Were Shut Out of the Medal's Stand at the Winter Olympics

They don't make robes and burkhas out of lycra.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
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Why the Middle Eastern Countries Were Shut Out of the Medal's Stand at the Winter Olympics

Therre were no medals for running convenience stores or cheap motels.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
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Why the Middle Eastern Countries Were Shut Out of the Medal's Stand at the Winter Olympics

Athletes felt awkward because sheep were not allowed in Olympic Village.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Expansion Added To Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame #28

The R&R Hall of Fame and Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like Leonard Cohen's Famous Blue Raincoat!

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Rock & Roll Museum Expanded #27

The R&R Hall of Fame and Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like Warren Zevon's Pina Colada from Trader Vic's

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Wayne Bridge at the "Bridge" avoids Terry's hand, it PONGED!

Wanye Bridge refused to shake hands with John Terry, he knew where it had been (down his partners knickers) and thought it might still PONG, well the whole affair certainly does!

written by Jaggedone, 01 March 2010
Rating:

The Iceberg Cometh

Two huge icebergs, Hillary #1 and #2 have broken off and are headed away from ice shelf.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Wonder Where Everone Went?

Reports say that Gilligan was the only one who was napping on the Minnow when Tsunami hit Sunday.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Didn't Know Tanks Were Gay

General in Afghanistan asks permission to use all gay tank crews.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (11)

An autographed copy of Elton John's autobiography entitled, Elton John - A Fairy Tail Story.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 March 2010
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Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (12)

The 12 foot tall stuffed white rabbit that Jefferson Airplane used as one of their stage props during their concerts. (Thanks to Sir Spoofer Skoob for graciously loaning the rabbit to the museum.)

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (13)

The British maid's outfit that actress Dimples Puckingham wore on the 1970, 45 rpm sleeve cover of Led Zeppelin's Living Loving Maid.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 March 2010
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Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (14)

A 45 rpm single from 1960, which listed Gladys Knight & The Pips by their original name, Gladys Knight & The Ho Hunters.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 March 2010
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Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (15)

Two adult life-sized stuffed buffaloes, six stuffed chickens, and 37 stuffed Canadian mallards that were donated by Neil Young for the museum's All Things Neil Young Room.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 March 2010
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Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame Expanded #26

The R&R Hall of Fame & Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts like David Bowie's momento of Major Toms, a jar of Tang.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Rock & Roll Building Enlarged # 25

The R&R Hall of Fame and Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like Billy Paul's "Mrs. Jone's" Handkerchief.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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World Record Setting Largest Game Of Naked Twister Spawns Other Naked Contests

Naked Three Legged Race cancelled when contestants start tying each other up bondage style.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
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World Record Setting Largest Game Of Naked Twister Spawns Other Naked Contests

Naked National High School and Junior High School Cheerleading Championships declared pedophile heaven

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
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World Record Setting Largest Game Of Naked Twister Spawns Other Naked Contests

Naked co-ed relay race stopped when women reach for wrong batons.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
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World Record Setting Largest Game Of Naked Twister Spawns Other Naked Contests

Naked leap frog game stopped in park when men seemed to not be able to jump over women, and ended up staying on top.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
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World Record Setting Largest Game Of Naked Twister Spawns Other Naked Contests

Naked Monopoly games add pictures to the Community Chest cards.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
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World Record Setting Largest Game Of Naked Twister Spawns Other Naked Contests

Naked farting contests changes former start phrase "Pull My Finger"

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
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World Record Setting Largest Game Of Naked Twister Spawns Other Naked Contests

Naked pool parties give new meaning to "The Breast Stroke."

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
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World Record Setting Largest Game Of Naked Twister Spawns Other Naked Contests

Naked Texas Hold'em Poker gave a brand new meaning to "hole cards."

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
Rating:

World Record Setting Largest Game Of Naked Twister Spawns Other Naked Contests

In named beach volleyball, the ball and the balls weren't the only things bouncing.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
Rating:

World Record Setting Largest Game Of Naked Twister Spawns Other Naked Contests

In retrospect, maybe Naked Lawn Darts wasn't such a good idea.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
Rating:

"I'm Doomed DOOMED!!!"

Cowell upset about tour as Subo won't come out of her room because of breaking a mirror after stumbling over black cat in front of her after trying to miss crack in sidewalk yesterday.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Russian winter Olympic team banned to Siberia!

President Medvedev has welcomed his winter "loser" Olympians home with a short-sharp trip to Siberia, they will be fed on reindeer blood and Siberian rat meat for 30 days, PERESTROJKA MY BUTT!

written by Jaggedone, 01 March 2010
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Fruit juices - great for healing

but only in specific circumstances - for example: if you find yourself in a plane that ditches in the Gulf of Mexico, your eyes will be able to pick out circling sharks.

written by Tcoah, 01 March 2010
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Its A Living

My brother is now making a living selling furniture, unfortunately its his own.

written by p.doff, 01 March 2010
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Thousand strip off in Sydney proving the point, aint we all f*****g UGLY!

Sydney, Australia, naked people have proven a well known ignored fact, the HUMAN RACE is pretty darn ugly when stirpped off! Especially Dad's with beer-guts, saggy boobs and orange-peel butts!

written by Jaggedone, 01 March 2010
Rating:

China to U.S. "Give us our stuff back"

And we don't want it "all played with and messed up", said Premier Ding Chaulingling

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
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Giant Iceberg Rams, Sinks, South Island-New Zealand!

Commonwealth countries declare war on ice. Not to be confused with "The Lion King on Ice" or "Soul on Ice" (E.Cleaver)

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
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Hollywood Starlets Agree: Spoof.com not real, mostly

Continually shaken by the headlines trundled across Spoof.com's website, the thinking challenged gals have decided to not take life (and the internet) so seriously.

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
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Loan floated for floating casino

Cash strapped Indians were granted a line of credit for their 200' birch bark canoe moored in Miisssiiicaaaggguaay,Miss.

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
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Vikings claim "Our ships are 'green' raiders!"

Vindhalle,Norway Using only sail, oars and oaths for propulsion, Norsemen argue that they should be allowed to continue raiding and pillaging based on the non-pollutive, organic aspects of their fleet.

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
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The Tragic Failures of Mexico's Bobsled Teams Explained

There are a lot more scientific waxes for the sled skids than lard from tu madre's cocina.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
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The Tragic Failures of Mexico's Bobsled Teams Explained

It was the only sled in competition with La Virgen de Guadalupe painted on one side and The Sacred Heart on the other.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
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The Tragic Failures of Mexico's Bobsled Teams Explained

In retrospect, maybe the chain steering wheel wasn't such a good idea.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
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Massive Head Pharoah Uncovered

Massive head of pharaoh sculpture unearthed in Egyptian archaeological dig. Experts believed he died from massive head.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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The Tragic Failures of Mexico's Bobsled Teams Explained

They made a mistake when they got to Canada: they drank the water.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
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The Tragic Failures of Mexico's Bobsled Teams Explained

The lycra speed suits made to look like baggy chinos just didn't do it for the fashionistas.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
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The Tragic Failures of Mexico's Bobsled Teams Explained

Three words: Lose the boombox. The stereo speakers were not aerodynamic and the judges didn't like Little Joe Y La Familia.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
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The Tragic Failures of Mexico's Bobsled Teams Explained

Hanging fuzzy dice from the rearview mirror and putting a bobble head chihuahua in the rear window did not help with wind resistance.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
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The Tragic Failures of Mexico's Bobsled Teams Explained

Having a low-rider sled bounce while going down the ice probably wasn't a good idea.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
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Lil Wayne's Cellmate

Lil Wayne set to test how jails handle celebs, especially cellmate, "Big Harry".

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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The Tragic Failures of Mexico's Bobsled Teams Explained

Next time, don't make the sled out of adobe.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
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The Tragic Failures of Mexico's Bobsled Teams Explained

"We thought putting a guy in the back who'd eated frijoles would propel us down the ice faster, but he just gassed out the other riders."

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2010
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Jihad Against Jordan

CIA suicide bomber calls for jihad against Jordan. Michael: "What have I ever done to these people?"

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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"Guitar Hero" more like "Wasting time with a fake guitar loser"

Time to get out and look for a job!

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
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Iceland gears up ice exports to make up deficit

"Its all we have left as a cash crop", moaned Lermman Nordeneroupessonn

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
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Irish Leprechaun Exiled to Leper Colony in Gross Mix-up

The poor little trickster is now trapped on an island in the middle of the Indian Ocean, for life!

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
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Rock & Roll Museum Expands #24

The R&R Hall of Fame and Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like Bill Haley's Clock that he once rocked around.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Rock & Roll Museum Expands #23

The R&R Hall of Fame & Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts like a picture of Smokey Robinson's twins, "Baby, Baby".

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Giant Rogue Iceberg Mauls Trainer While New Zealand Watches in Horror!

Now this has gone waaaaay too far!

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
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Icebergs, or should we call them iceberrrrrrrrgs?

They are definitely NOT a frozen confection!

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
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Iceberg larger than two to three European countries!

This one is large!

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
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Largest Iceberg seeking own Titanic for "thrill sinking!"

Seagoing ships should seek safety soon suckers!

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
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Burgeoning Ice shelf begets biggest berg

The floating cake of ice is over twice the size of Africa!

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
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"Home on the Range" becomes apartment with gas stove for retired cattleman

Wilfred Brumley Slapsleather has decided to pack up the little dogies and call it a day as he rides into the sunset.
Will put horse in extra bedroom!

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (06)

An extremely rare photo of Carlos Santana shown swimming across the Rio Grande into Texas as a young boy of 8. (Photo courtesy of The Border Patrol).

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 March 2010
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Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (07)

A San Francisco concert poster that introduced Linda Ronstadt's back up band, the Eagles, who were known at the time as The Canaries.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 March 2010
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Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (08)

A public service video for birth control showing the members of The Mamas and The Papas telling the viewers to avoid becoming mamas and papas by making sure to use condoms and to use them properly.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Happy February 29!!! OOOPS!!!!

That was last year's calendar!I shoulda looked before I leapt!

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (09)

A photo of Crosby Stills Nash & Young taken in 1969, where Stephen Stills is asking a Pennsylvania state trooper how to get to Woodstock.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (10)

The only photo in existence of the Jackson Five, when they were known as The Five of Spades.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 March 2010
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Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque Arrives Home After Vancouver Games

One local doctor recommends she gets plenty of bed rest... in his bed, of course.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
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Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque Arrives Home After Vancouver Games

Swedish Hockey Team thanks her for bringing them all into the Mile High Club on the trip back

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
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Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque Arrives Home After Vancouver Games

Tells reporters "I'm so tired, I could sleep standing up" because she wasn't asleep when she was on her back!

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
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Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque Arrives Home After Vancouver Games

Athlete asks reporters for a few days rest as "I'm all shagged out."

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
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Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque Arrives Home After Vancouver Games

No rest for the athlete, as it seems everyone wants a piece of her

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (01)

An old 1978 concert poster of the band AC/DC showing the band's original name AC.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 March 2010
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Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (02)

Madonna's first training bra, which her mother bought her when she was only six months old. (Training bra donated by Warren Beatty).

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 March 2010
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Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (03)

The Dave Clark Five's very first album entitled, Introducing The Dave Clark Four.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 March 2010
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Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (04)

A rare charcoal drawing of ZZ Top guitarist Billy Gibbons without his fake hillbilly beard.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 March 2010
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Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (05)

An old photograph of Fleetwood Mac before Stevie Nicks started dressing like one of the Salem witches and when her singing voice was actually pretty. (Photo courtesy of Vice-President Joe Biden).

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame Expands #22

The R&R Hall of Fame & Museum has fascinating relics like Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts like, Remains of Richard Harris Cake Left Out in The Rain!

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Rock & Roll Museum Expanded #21

The R&R Hall of Fame and Museum in Cleveland has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts like Father McKenzie's Darned Socks.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Rock & Roll Museum Expansion #20

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like Otis Redding's Dock from S.F. Bay.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Rock & Roll Museum Expansion #19

The R&R Hall of Fame & Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts like NO RESPECT sign from fat Aretha Franklin's bedroom.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Rock & Roll Expansion #18

The R&R Hall of Fame & Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like the Coaster's Charlie Brown in Clown outfit.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Rock & Roll Museum Expansion #17

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like Wilson Pickett's Old Mustang, Sally.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Expansion At Rock & Roll Museum #16

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Museum in Cleveland has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like Cher's original ass.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Expansion To Rock & Roll Museum #15

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame & Museum in Cleveland has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts like Simon & Garfunkle's Garfunkle.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Rock & Roll Museum Expands #14

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like tree with Sonny Bono's Face Imprint.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Rock & Roll Museum Expands #13

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like Buddy Holly's Unopened parachute.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Rock & Roll Museum Expansion #12

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like the remains of Everly Bros Bird Dog.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Rock Museum Expands #11

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like Fats Domino's ten broken piano stools.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Rock & Roll Museum Expansion #10

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like the Clovers & Searcher's Love Potion #8.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Rock & Roll Expansion #9

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like Dylan's Rainy Day Women #12 & 35.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Rock & Roll's Expansion #8

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Museum in Cleveland has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts like Elvis Presley's Shot-Up TVs.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Rock & Roll Museum Expands #7

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Museum in Cleveland has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts like Chuck Berry's Walking Duck.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Rock & Roll Museum Expands #6

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like David Crosby's multi-colored commode.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Rock Museum Expands #5

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Museum in Cleveland has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like Mick Jagger's Miracle Ear!

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Rock Museum Expands #4

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like adult diapers thrown at Tom Jones Show.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Rock & Roll Museum Expands #3

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Museum in Cleveland has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. It'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like 19 nipple rings found on stages.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

New R&R Expansion #2

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Museum in Cleveland has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like Osbourne's headless bat.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Expansion At R&R Hall Of Fame

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Museum in Cleveland has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like Elvis banana sandwiches.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

How About Dr. Moreau?

Stroke study finds neck stints safe, effective! Admit that Dr. Frankenstein may have been a head of his time.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Year Of The Tiger?

Chinese admit that it was probably LAST year that was "Year of the Tiger", but we'll see. Could come back and win all four big PGA tournaments.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

CIA Really Getting Sneaky

Afghanistan protects newly rediscovered rare bird turns out to be disguised unmanned drone rocket.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Atom Smasher Restarts

Atom smasher restarts to prepare for new science, world population reduction.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

WTO confirms that Meccano Sets more reliable than Toyota cars

"Standard hole spacing of ½", or 12.7 mm" better technology than that offered by Toyota

written by Tcoah, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Buffett: Economy Recovering

Buffett says economy recovering but at slow rate. Should be on our feet again by 2050.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Obama Health Mostly OK

Obama yet to kick smoking habit, should eat better, get his mind off health care for at least one hour daily, say docs.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Presidential Helicopter Fleet to be revamped

in response to pilots complaining of stale-tobacco smells

written by Tcoah, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Up Or Down Movement Voted Today?

White House: Simple up-or-down vote on health care, sex aids.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Same Old Greeting

Hillary Clinton to meet with Uruguay's incoming president under gun fire again as they run from plane landing in her latest report.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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President Obama Busy

Obama focuses on school dropouts, health care. Also on drug gangs taking over government property, health care. Mother-In-Law having arthritis attack, health care.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Medvedev Goes To France, French Surrender

Energy, culture, vodka, wine, beer on tap for Medvedev trip to France.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Euphoric End!

An euphoric end to a bittersweet Olympics as everybody drunk as skunks.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Skier Air Bags

Europeans introduce avalanche air bags in Utah. Also, they open up upon impact when a skier hits a tree...a little late.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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New Samakutra?

Spencer Tunick, who is known for his nude group photos in public spaces, posed 5,000 nude participants in Australia for more than an hour in a variety of positions.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Another Snow Attack

Nearly 200K without power after fifth big Northeast storm. "I hope Al Gore is under here", states resident as he digs out car for fifth time.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Gov. Takeover Worked So Well In Other Countries?

Senate impasse puts federal employees out of work. Senate action puts the rest of us out of work.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Warnings Meant For Good

Some scientists defend tsunami warnings! "Blamed if we do and blamed if we don't", says scientist. "So this time it turned out to be a three inch one, does that make everyone sad?"

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Acohol Over Marijuana

Marijuana Use Can Up Psychosis Risk, say experts. Where alcohol employs thousands, marijuana only hundreds & those illegally.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Marijuana Worse Than Alcohol?

Marijuana Use Can Up Psychosis Risk, say experts. While alcohol only causes liver damage, illusions and highway accidents.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Toyota will be safe again

Toyota said, it's problems will be corrected once they get a Kamikaze out of it's product design department.

written by disciple, 01 March 2010
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Health tip for middle agers: Go easy on the gaseous hippie food!

You aren't 20 anymore and one too many fried falafels might do your lower G.I. tract an grave injustice! Oh,and your tie dyed shorts look stupid!

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Huge Antarctic Glacier Calves Iceberg, Can't Keep Up With Herd

The little guy's legs are kind of spindly.Its going to be awhile before he can stand up and nurse for the first time.

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Iceland sends huge iceberg to block Thames river mouth

"Ha Ha, This is payback for all those dirty financial deeds you laid on us!" said Gyrmin Bossdottir,Head of Economic Affairs. Iceland is teetering on brokeness as result of investments gone bad.

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
Rating:

This a big shout out to ma friends and bruthers behine da briks

Yo,Whaf wif all the hatin' gon' on 'bout the probs and distrukshun hapnin wif ma homies be on the lok down and
ain't no liftin' and wokin' out in da joint no mo?

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Greece calls on "Zorba" as last hope for economy

The most famous Greek in the last three millenia has been asked to lend a hand in restoring his mother country's finances.Only a strapping, charismatic hero can help now.

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Greece Broke! Country must sell pieces of Parthenon as souvenirs

Our little Mediterranean neighbor is wishing they had stayed with the fishing and olive oil instead of joining the EU.Now they've resorted to "parting out" the country to earn some hard cash.

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
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Scientific Breakthrough #11

One of the great mysteries of science was solved today when scientists discovered while an aspirin will help keep a plant from wilting 7 days, a Levitra pill will cause it to stand erect for 7 Months.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Set Record For Nudity, Accidental Bump Ins

5,000 Australians show up to bare all for photo shoot. That's using the old noodle.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Newest Jacobite rebellion fizzles in Glasgow pub

Although it sounded like a promising idea starting around noon Saturday, another go at England lost most of its steam by about 8:30p.m. in the evening when "Britain's Got Talent" aired.

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
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Scientific Breakthrough #10

One of the great mysteries of science was solved today when scientists discovered that the French have over 75 words for "surrender".

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Rolling stones make offer on "Stone of Scone"

The British rockers are so wealthy that they have bought almost anything else their imaginations came up with."We just thought The Rolling Stones really should 'ave it, just fits," Mick said.

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Terrorist Blows It!

Terrorist who accidentally blows up his whole group on a trial run, to receive 72 Richard Simmons on a desert Island.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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True Fact: Stone of Scone actually made from scones!

Scientists making one of 811 tests on the "Stone of Destiny" today found a detail missed for over 12 centuries.The "stone" is actually made of a simple water,butter,and shortening mix.Delicious!

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
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Canadian Hockey team signed by USA

The Canadian Hockey team, who tonight won the Gold in the Winter Olympics, have signed up with L.A.Kings. The fee? Free tickets to all AGT tapings and a contract to appear in next season's Survivor.

written by Lady Godiva, 01 March 2010
Rating:

T.V.'s "I.T. Crowd" in popularity race with Best Buy's "Geek Squad"

The two groups have decided to have a computer hard drive registry re-allocation contest to decide once and for all who is the world's top techie.

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
Rating:

"Kinks" decidedly not kinky says Ray Davies

Tired of all the innuendos and double entendres about his rock group,leader Davies said yet again that it just had to do with his little sisters hair,which was very difficult to comb.

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Firemen Rescue Larry King Again

Ex-wives leave Larry King hanging by his suspenders on a flag pole once again. Fire department to pass on charges to CNN as usual.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Scientific Breakthrough #9

One of the great mysteries of science was solved today when scientists discovered why old people still flock to Florida even though no Fountain of Youth was ever discovered there in the first place.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Pixies,Leprechauns in rollicking beer brawl

What started as simple name calling quickly turned violent as large groups of fighting little people snarled traffic near Hyde Park Sunday. Bobbies with short batons waded into the melee to no avail.

written by Wumf, 01 March 2010
Rating:

Scientific Breakthrough #8

One of the great mysteries of science was solved today when scientists discovered that there simply IS no way to make a purple M&M without it causing your fillings to fall out.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Scientific Breakthrough #7

One of the great mysteries of science was solved today when scientists discovered why Clay Aiken suddenly asked all his friends to call him "Debbie" and moved to Dallas!

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Scientific Breakthrough #6

One of the great mysteries of science was solved today when scientists discovered exactly how many angels can dance on the frozen head of Ted Williams.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Scientific Breakthrough #5

One of the great mysteries of science was solved today when scientists discovered exactly where someone has to go to have an operation in order to speak like a wrestler.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Scientific Breakthrough #4

One of the great mysteries of science was solved today when scientists discovered what does Donald Trump feed that thing on his head and what IS it, anyway!

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Scientific Breakthrough #3

One of the great mysteries of science was solved today when scientists discovered why Kirstie Alley had suddenly starting calling herself, "Phillip D. Alley".

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Scientific Breakthrough #2

One of the great mysteries of science was solved today when scientists discovered why half of all NFL kickoffs end up with the receiving team being penalized for an illegal push or block in the back.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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Scientific Breakthrough

One of the great mysteries of science was solved today when scientists discovered why those bargain Rolex watches bought on the street suddenly begin to move counter-clockwise.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2010
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