Order by:
Rating:

"Bully, My Ass!"

Elderly W.H. reporter Helen Thomas resigned after she said Israelis should "get the hell out of Palestine." Thomas has been in trouble before, telling Teddy Roosevelt to quit lying about adventures.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Limbaugh Sued Over Wedding

Rush Limbaugh the victim of three lawsuits today as three different individuals at his weeding claim that his belly knocked them from their chairs as he waddled down the aisle.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Helen Thomas Still At It

Helen Thomas, the 89-year-old White House reporter, is retiring after making controversial statements about the Jews. Today she told a black lady in an interview that she needed to go back to Africa.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Have To Be Balanced

The Taliban will allow beauty contestants to wear swimsuits for Miss Taliban Contest. However, all contestants will be beaten on the ass by rods after the show.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Gay Malawian tunrs straight after the thought of 14 years in the slammer!

A miracle has happened in Malawi, a Gay man has turned straight and now prefers women and he swears it had nothing to do with facing 14 years in a stinking rat-infested Malawian slammer!

written by Jaggedone, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Special Canceled

Because of recent events in the Mideast, CBS has canceled it's planned holiday special: "It's Hanukkah, Charlie Brown"

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

French Parade

French to hold a special parade through Paris for the losers of the French Open! They will title it, "We Surrendered Again!"

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Who Can Hit The Bullseye Blindfolded?

Van der Sloot already complaining about treatment in Peru prison. Displays big tattoo "Target" on his ass!

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

C-SPAN Ratings Down

C-SPAN say their ratings are down slightly after first two weeks of summer reruns.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Hunk Failed Math

Former "Falcon Crest" hunk LORENZO LAMAS is hoping the fifth time's the charm with wife number 9.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Not So Gay, Now

Out of jail, gay Malawi couple breaks up. One dates a woman, says it would be kinda sexy to live a normal henpecked life.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Those That REALLY Know Everything

Neighborhood busybodies now being hired by Homeland Security to keep eye out for terrorists.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Dogbites Up

In the latest census report, number of agents bitten by dogs up 12% over 2000 census.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

World Cup On Verge Of Collapse

World Cup hosts South Africa have announced they are quitting the tournament due to racist slurs aimed at their team from white supremacists Socceroo fans.

written by iscrivener, 09 June 2010
Rating:

I've asked everyone else who uses this washroom...

..so this must be Occam's razor.

written by Roy Turse, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Queen Pelosi Heckled!

Nancy Pelosi heckled! "They are 'throwing stuff'...We am not amused.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Obama Ears Actually Fluttering!

Another Gulf oil spill: Well near Deepwater Horizon has leaked since at least April 30. BP: Did we forget to mention that one? Sorry, we were distracted by this one.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

It's A Dirty War!

TALIBAN using HIV needles with bombs set to go off. UN counters with Unmanned rockets with anthrax!

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

"Such Awful Langusge!"

President overheard by visitors to White House as he rehearsed getting really really mad at BP.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Artists Dies

Artist dies after spraying varnish on his paintings in a room without ventilation. Could raise the price of famous "Frogs Playing Poker" series.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Lawmakers Are Really Busy

Building of new homes in back gardens is to be banned. Also walking outside of home. "You could have a icy block of shit fall from plane and hit you."

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Doctor Skippy

Doctor 'skipped with glee when applying gel to woman's burned breasts' yells "Can't help myself" as he skips around the room.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Obama Turning Point?

Gulf oil spill could mark a turning point for Obama as he could well be sliding out of office.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Body Scanners In Omaha

Full-body scanner debuts at Omaha airport! Photo books on sale by December first!

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Hypnotized By Lava Flow!

Guatemala warns tourists hypnotized by lava flows to snap out of it or "You'll get the mother-of-all-hot foots!

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

"Actually, It Felt Pretty Good"

West Virginia Senator Byrd accidentally picked up and cleaned while visiting beached oil area.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Viewing Audience Down To 98!

Hot young stars lead the way at CMT Music Awards For The Month Of June!

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Yes, That Was On The List!

Judge says Lindsay Lohan violated terms of her bail by drinking like a fish.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Genetically Altered Trees!

Paper industry tests of genetically altered trees not going well as trees uproot themselves and run away, planting themselves elsewhere.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Now That They Are Out Of The Closet

Surfers in Hawaii complaining about surfing crocs taking over their areas.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

You'll Be Famous!

Here's your chance to get your face in space: Stick your head out the window like a dog while coming back toward earth!

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

"The Crocodile Rock...Surf!"

Australian study finds crocodiles surf the seas, once they finish eating surfer.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Talk About A Political Spin!

Greece: We're right on track to meet deficit targets! Fake cheering in the background!

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Calls Mother-In-Law Before Every Public Appearance!

Obama's getting really, really, really, really mad - or is he?

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

No Shit, Einstein!

AP IMPACT: BP spill response plans severely flawed!

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Sticking To The Schedule

Gates: Progress in Afghan war must come this year..or at least by 2020.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Israel Eases Blockade

Israel allows some once-banned products into Gaza, like pork rinds.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

A Little Late!

Democrats try to seize initiative on oil spill on day 51!

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

California Republicans Tap Women To Lead Ticket

Beachboys launch campaign song: "I Wish They All Could Be Californian Women To Lead GOP Ticket"

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

"Freedom Of Speech! (Fart) Sorry!"

Rand Paul breaks silence, wind on local radio talk show.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Throws Famer's Almanac Off Completely

Many city schools shorten year by one day, objected to by Boomers who say they need all the days they can get.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Minnesota Full Of It #2

Minnesota plant will produce fertilizer from wind. Native son Bob Dylan sings "Blowing In The Wind" at grand opening.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Minnesota Full Of It!

Minnesota plant will produce fertilizer from wind, with all the shit being hurled during recent and upcoming November elections.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

UN Sanctions Iran For 100th Time

U.N. council to hit defiant Iran with new sanctions. Promise they will not purchase any nuclear weapons from them, once they are completed.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Stowaway #2

Stowaway survives flight next to jet landing gear. Spotted by man flying in lawn chair with helium balloons. "Flying in landing gear could be dangerous", states Balloonist.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Lot Of Trouble For Nothing

Stowaway survives flight next to jet landing gear, once they got him thawed out. Being sent back home.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Instant Fireballs On The Road

GM recalling 1.5M vehicles over fire concerns. "Some, but probably not many, could instantly burst into flame causing a hideous death!

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

A Sticking Point

Overtreated: Surgery too often fails for back pain, as surgeons are accused of being knife-happy.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

You Could Get Burned

BP plans to burn some oil pumping up to surface. Warn about trying to get a sun tan on those days. Issue small boats warning. People on inner tubes. Surfers!

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

GOP Nominates Women For November

What's on tap? California Republicans tap women to lead ticket!

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Vanilla Ice Marries Alanis Morissette!!

The woman who lost her virginity to Dave Coulier has finally gotten married to rapper Vanilla Ice. Sources say... what? Wait, that's not Vanilla Ice? Sorry. Rapper 'Snow' Marries Alanis Morissette.

written by anthonyrosania, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Sixth Grade Arithmetic

Obama's scientists don't believe BP is collecting the high percent of gushing oil indicated; the flow rate of the well is undetermined. It's about knowing the denominator before doing the math stupid!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Obamacare to Only Pay One-Half of any Medical Costs

Women getting Boob-Jobs will only be able to have one boob enlarged per year. DHS suggests that the procedure be scheduled for Dec. 30 & Jan. 1 of the following year for full cost reimbursement!


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Hypocrisy Defined

Federal officials travel to view the BP oil spill via limos, rental cars & 747 aircraft. They then call for stopping all off-shore drilling & complain that the USA must get off of using foreign oil!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Latest Update

President Obama announced today that the predicted U.S debt to rise to $19.6 trillion by 2015 will only be $19.5 trillion.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

"I'm Knocked Up!"

Tennessee woman says that while she enjoyed having children while younger, it is going to be a problem now. "They don't allow babies at the nursing home."

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

LLimbaugh Feeling Good!

Rush Limbaugh has a little too much liquor while toasting his new bride. "Here's to wife Number 3..5? 6! Hey, come back. I was just horsing around!"

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Obama Misses The Extra Point

Efforts by President Obama to kick someone in the ass a total failure and he misses and lands on his own ass..on a tar ball.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Pelosi Plastic Surgery

After Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi's lastest plastic surgery, everyone agrees that she looks more lifelike.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

New Pong Sr.

New "Pong Sr." has 3D effect of coming out of the TV when hit past you and bouncing on the carpet for 15 seconds.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #69

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "The Monarch Butterfly.....Of Death!" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #68

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "Camel Man" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #67

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "Captain Bison" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #66

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "The Electric Eel" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #65

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "The Tales Of The Salamander" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #64

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "The Baker's Dozen" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #63

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "The Glorious Goatsucker" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #62

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "The Caped Clodhopper From Dixie" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #61

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "The Horny Horny Toad" (adult) series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 09 June 2010
« May 2010 June 2010 Jul 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
90
2nd
86
3rd
112
4th
108
5th
79
6th
143
7th
106
8th
81
9th
69
10th
87
11th
89
12th
72
13th
149
14th
96
15th
118
16th
95
17th
105
18th
93
19th
71
20th
89
21st
81
22nd
93
23rd
143
24th
80
25th
162
26th
149
27th
121
28th
122
29th
154
30th
121
 

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