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Rating:

Marvels Cancels Comic #55

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "The Pardoned White House Thanksgiving Turkey" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #54

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "Fizzle Man, The Silent Killer" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #53

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "The Lady Bugger" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #52

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "The Calf" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
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Marvel Cancels Comic #51

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "The Warring Wombat" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Rush Limbaugh Speaks Up on Hiring Elton John to Play at Wedding

Look people, I hired a singer. Who cares about his sexual preferences? Most everyone in the music industry is gay or bi-sexual. I paid for his performance. It's not like I put him on the guest list.

written by Charpa93, 07 June 2010
Rating:

New Cookbook Not Selling Well

Ragin' Cajun's new "The Big Book of Biscuits & Gravy Recipes" not selling very well.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Dreams Better Than Sex

Star Trek fanatic says that a good dream of Star Fleet is better than sex, or at least, better than he believes sex to be.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Gibson To Outrun Cops?

Mel Gibson's girlfriend says that his New Year's resolution was to be about to outrun the cops while he's drunk until he gets home. "Of course, he was drunk at the time."

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

"So You Knew Benedict Arnold?"

A fake Revolutionary war veteran is exposed tonight on the ABC Evening News!

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

New Anti-Smoking Campaigns

Surgeon General Nanook of the North says: I'd rather be smoking fish!

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Quasi Yogi Berraism (#1)

"Man, if I had a nickel for every nickel I got - I'd have me a whole bunch of nickels."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Quasi Yogi Berraism (#2)

"Don't count your chickens before they hatch unless they've already hatched in which case what's the point?"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2010
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Quasi Yogi Berraism (#3)

"Hey, I guess you could say it's kinda like six dozen of one, half a dozen of the other."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2010
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Quasi Yogi Berraism (#4)

"If someone wants to get a load off their mind then why not just stand on your head."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2010
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Quasi Yogi Berraism (#5)

"I've always been a meat and potatoes type of guy except when I'm eating macaroni and cheese."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Nader Undecided!

Ralph Nader has announced this morning that he has not yet determined whether he will launch another failed bid for the presidency or not.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

UK Government releases plan to install 'giant eye in the sky' over London

London will be covered by a giant camera which hovers over the capital, recording crime so it can later be broadcast on TV.

written by Stephen Prime, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Kids Say The Darnest Things

Britney's kid in doctor's office waiting room, "Hi! Mom has the clap. What's wrong with you, Mister?"

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Miss Naked America Resigns

Miss Naked America resigns from her position after she is caught doing Target commercials with her clothes on.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Congressmen Looking Fat These Days

US Congress getting ready to take a summer break. "Our pockets are stuffed. We need to get back home and deposit it', admits one off the record (but on the payroll).

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

UK's ITV3 Pulls Plug On World Cup Coverage!

The UK's ITV3 channel is dumping its coverage of the World Cup due to a higher demand from its over 35 audience for more sex, drugs and rock n roll cinematics.

written by iscrivener, 07 June 2010
Rating:

UK Pupils Lead The Way For Global Schooling Strikes!

Talks between UK Headteachers and their pupils have failed and the "every child matters" strikes will go ahead soon. 21st century techno aware pupils are refusing to use pen and paper anymore!

written by iscrivener, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Spoof News Writers Under Observation!

Message - "We have updated our privacy policy and terms and conditions to make them more formal and bring them up to date and in line with current standards reporting to MI6, the FBI and Interpol"

written by iscrivener, 07 June 2010
Rating:

The First Cuts Are The Deepest For UK Youth!

Prime Minister David Cameron has warned of "difficult decisions" on sex, drugs and benefits as he set out the case for "painful" cuts ahead, like stabbing his young voters in the back!

written by iscrivener, 07 June 2010
Rating:

New Movie A Flop

New movie "Sorority Girls Without Their Makeup Versus Jason & Freddie Kruger" not doing well!

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Holigan World Cup starts earlier than planned and top fav's England are already KO'd

This years "Hoolie World Cup" was started earlier because star teams were worried that blood-thirsty Zulu's and Tutsi's would break the rules and use their machetes instead of their bovver boots!

written by Jaggedone, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Nudist Favorite TV Shows

A new poll shows that one of the all-time favorite TV shows of nudists is, "F*L*A*S*H!

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Last Year We Lost

Asked if it bothered him that the Alabama team dumped Gatorade over him after his Crimson Tide won the College Football Trophy, Coach Saban told reporters that it was better than the piss last year.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Not So Good For You

Kellogg has agreed to drop the claim that Rice Krispies can improve children's immune systems. Kellogg's claim was discredited when, upon the pouring on of milk, some cereal went Hack! Cough! & Fart!

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Indian/American Wins Again

Anamika Veeramani, 14, of North Royalton, Ohio, won the 2010 National Spelling Bee in Washington on Friday. It was the first time that a contestant had to tell the judges how to pronounce a name.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Nonsense Rumor

Insiders say that it is just a silly rumor that "Bella" from Twilight will appear in the Spin-Off "Bella Hears A Howl!"

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Classics Updated For Boomers #3

The updated Dusty Springfield's great "Pissing And Hoping!"

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Great Service, What Does He Look Like?

California outlaws plastic, paper bags at groceries. Instead, carry-out boy will go home with you.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

90% Hirings Were By Government

Ninety Percent of all new jobs are with the US Government, especially in field of finding people jobs.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Let Us Eat Cake

US Dollar falls again, this time in the cost of shrimp, lobster, fish on the Gulf Coast.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Bigges NHS Fraud Yet

Woman dentist charged with stealing £1m in 'biggest ever' NHS fake invoice fraud...as of today, June 7th, 2010.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Security Fears #2

Security fears on eve of World Cup as fans injured in stampede at warm-up match. "Just getting a bit of practice in", say most.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Security Fears

Security fears on eve of World Cup as fans injured in stampede at warm-up match. "Stampedes are our mosh pits" say several.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

PM Warns Of Drastic Cuts

Prime Minister warns drastic cuts must be implemented. "Better not to get sick or eat a lot during the next few years."


written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Make A Good Movie

Woman made up horrific rape, beheading, cannibal story, to cover up crashing boyfriend's car.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Sheen Screws Up Again!

Charlie Sheen set to appear in court in Aspen, was supposed to be at Vail.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

"Twilight Bleep Bleep Bleep Award!"

'Twilight' tops bleep-happy MTV Movie Awards. Lip readers very popular with watchers.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Can't Win!

New Study: Radiation boosts survival rate for those who have received too much radiation treatments, exams.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Pot Good For That Too

"Marijuana good for just about anything you have", reports the best doctor in the whole United states.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Two Way Investigation In Australia

Australia launches privacy investigation of Google. Google zooms in on politician's offices, papers signed, secretaries entrances, amount of time spent with bosses.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Stake Sale!

Reliance Communications approves stake sale. "The vampire-killing industry was always a sideline", states CEO.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Test Rocket Reaches Orbit

Millionaire's test rocket reaches orbit on 1st try! "like hitting an oil gusher the first time you dig", he tells press.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Airline Profits Up

IATA forecasts 2010 profit for airline industry. Total of $10,000 to be shared equally.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Long Road To Oil Cleanup

Long road to oil cleanup looms over Gulf Coast, especially along Highway 10.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Clinton' Crowded Agenda

Crowded agenda awaits Clinton in Latin America due to population explosion there.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Where In The World Is Azerbaijan?

Obama moves to improve relations with Azerbaijan as GOP accuses him of making up a country to siphon off funds.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Sacking An Internal Afghan Affair

US: Sacking of Afghan officials an internal matter, although we did furnish the sacks!

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

That Might Work!

Election spooks lawmakers, curbs Congress spending. Voters request that elections be held every year to keep them in line!

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Biden Proposal Put Forth

Biden: US seeks new ways to address Gaza problems. "What if we start by changing it's name to 'Shangri La?"

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Tonadoes Miss Everything

Oklahome tornadoes miss towns, farms, everything Ccomplain news reporters. "Not even a tree down!"

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

A Century Should Get It!

Long road to oil cleanup looms over Gulf Coast. Then there will be the massive cleanup of the oil chemical treatments.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Because Study Will Take Longer

Road plan includes $300,000 for Knoxville bypass study, $200,000 for actual construction.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

First Gay Marriage

Lesbian couple weds in the Isle of Lesbos' first gay marriage!

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Terrorist's Faux Pas

Suicide bombers attack terrorist training camp in northern Afghanistan in apparent mix-up!

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Keep Checking Family Tree

North Korea promotes one-hundredth Kim relative in reshuffle!

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Lawmakers Spooked

Election spooks lawmakers, curbs Congress spending. "Remember we must be good until November."

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Dr. Seuss: Stars On Thars

Those hitting Spoof writers with several one-star ratings without actually reading anything, apparently in second childhood.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

More Gobbledygook!

Turkey calls on Israel to accept probe into raid on Turkey farm last Thanksgiving. Obama's Pardoned Turkey leading the call!

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

The Helen Thomas Flap

Helen Thomas high school speech canceled over flap as the flap will keep them from concentrating on speech. May have flap removed in near feature.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Altered Trees Can't Reproduce

Paper industry tests genetically altered trees as the papers do not work on copiers.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

More Med Care Not Better Care

Overtreated: More medical care isn't always better. Docs say the same people who's care is free come in every week with "something not right".

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Oil Clean-Up

Long road to oil cleanup looms over Gulf Coast, especially since 99.9% of it hasn't hit yet.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

David Cameron to put UK on Ebay

Prime Minister David Cameron revealed that the economic plight of the UK is actually far worse than he had dared to think.

written by Phoenix Joe, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Sad Songs Say So Much

Elton John interrupts 17-year gay partnership to sing at wedding of thrice divorced conservative blowhard and anti-gay marriage proponent Rush Limbaugh. Sometimes, good satire just "rights" itself!

written by The San Francisco Onion, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Palestinians target of aid

Israel will check Irish ship and transfer all aid it deems acceptable to the Gaza Strip. Bullets, rockets, mortars not acceptable. Those will be delivered personally by Israeli troops at close range.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Something doesn't add up

Israeli foreign ministry spokesman Regev accuses Hamas of blocking the supply of aid into Gaza. So, does this mean the Israeli commandos operating the Israeli blockade are really Hamas extremists?

written by The San Francisco Onion, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Which oil company?

India court charges Union Carbide executives with death by negligence in 1984 disaster that killed thousands in Bhopal, India. Oil company hopes to postpone charges far longer for mere eleven deaths.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Rush Limbaugh Got Married and Got His Wish

He asked that folks just leave him alone for this special occasion. When asked if they knew Limbaugh got married this weekend, most people said "Who?"

written by Charpa93, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Just Like Martha Stewart

Stocks are up considerably as inspectors accuse convicts of receiving insider information. Most now have plenty of cigarettes, conjugal visits.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Big Yuan Winner Tonight!

US dollar in further trouble as the latest winner of the lottery asks to be paid in Chinese yuan.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Don't Sound Good!

Fed Chairman Bernanke says that "US may be slow coming out of the tunnel but there's a light that we can see and..." then breaks down crying.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

FEMA Admits To A Few Mistakes

FEMA finally admits that some trailers they supplied after Hurricane Katrina were unsafe after four workers sue over falling through floor while setting them up.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #50

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "Captain Asscrack" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #49

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "Keepo, The Channel Flipper" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #48

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's comic "The Mark Of Zero" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #47

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "Superman's Significant Other, Jimmy Olson" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #46

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's comic "Little Lulu's BooBoo" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #45

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "The Totally Recycled Plastic Man" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #44

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "Spidey's Grandpa, Grand Daddy Longlegs" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #43

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "The Terrific Trout" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Who's to Blame?

Former VP Al Gore refutes Democratic Party claims that former President George W Bush's tax cuts were to blame for the breakup of his marriage. Former VP Gore blames former VP Dick Cheney!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2010
Rating:

United Nations Requests Terrorists Provide Standards

The UN has asked Islamic terrorists to provide a list of standards that they abide by when beheading people, committing homicide bombings, employing human shields and killing innocent civilians.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Quid Pro Quo

President Obama made a promise to former President Clinton, if Clinton talked to Rep. Sestak. President Obama would dump Vice President Biden from the Democratic ticket in 2012 in favor of Monika!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2010
Rating:

North Korea Says it is Innocent

The North Korean news agency claims a UFO sank the South Korean warship. The proof was in the crop circles left on the surface of the Yellow Sea, but the ocean currents washed the evidence away.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2010
Rating:

New Government Study

A new government study indicates that all new studies contain nothing new than was new in previous new studies!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Garbage is Garbage and is still Garbage

Democratic far left wing liberals are now making up phony correlation studies to support their cockamamie ideas on everything! They then try to shove the idiotic garbage down all Americans throats!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2010
Rating:

BP Did It

Attorney General Holder has uncovered that the BP Oil Company is also responsible for the design of all those iced coffee and tea pitchers that leak!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2010
Rating:

With respect to Reading

Paul McCartney is clueless when it comes to "reading" women!


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2010
Rating:

When the Moment is Right

Your spouse is bent over cleaning the commode in a tattered night gown and her hair is up in curlers. Will you be ready if the urge strikes you?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Peanut Butter Recall

Tainted jars of peanut butter have been recalled in Alameda CA. It seems the peanut butter had been contaminated with chunks of Skippy!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2010
Rating:

The Search is On

Bucky's balls were found hanging from the Golden Gate Bridge. Police are still searching for the rest of Bucky!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2010
Rating:

President Obama Restores NASA Advanced Shuttle Funding

The first unit of the new shuttle fleet must be ready by Dec. 2010 to transport BP CEO Tony Hayward, WH advisor Carol Browner, Interior Secretary Ken Salazar & EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson to Mars.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Political Asylum Seekers

White House correspondent Helen Thomas and political activist Greta Berlin have both petitioned the Israeli government for political asylum.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Office of the US Presidency

Americans respect the Office of the US Presidency. Americans know that the current resident of the White House only sits on the "throne" in the Oval Office, on a temporary basis.


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Oil Spill Obama Hits Gulf Coast I

FEMA, EPA, federal agencies have not figured out what to do, even 5 years after Hurricane Katrina. The Obama administration's bureaucratic bullshit & ideological red tape further hinders clean up.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Oil Spill Obama Hits Gulf Coast II

Obama administration has a case of Piss Poor Planning! Contingency plans needed to be developed, assets identified, & management actions of federal & state agencies specified before disasters occur.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Oil Spill Obama Hits Gulf Coast III

Kudos to USCG Admiral Thad Allen, USCG personnel & gulf residents for their expertise in clean- up of the BP oil spill. Work fast & diligent before the Obama Administration impedes your efforts again!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2010
Rating:

New Schedule

President Obama's impeachment hearings scheduled for January 2012 have been rescheduled for January 2011, after the Republican Congress convenes.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Gulf Coast Birds

Gulf Coast birds, wildlife and residents have unanimously "tweeted" to give the BP Oil Company "the bird" for the oil spill!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2010
Rating:

Democrats Find Solution to Plugging BP Oil Leak in Gulf

Pres. Obama has directed that all left wing bullshit generated by the Democratic Party be sent to pundit James Carvel in Louisiana to plug the leak. James, it's different when your ox is being gored!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2010
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69
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87
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89
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72
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105
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