Order by:
Rating:

An Acquired Taste

Swine Fly outbreak much worse than the Swine Flu say victims. "With Swine Fly, everything tastes like hog shit."

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

New Raw Milk Ads

New raw milk ads on television to use old song by the Cowsill's "Give Me A Tail Full Of Hair!"

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Posh angry at Becks

Victoria Beckham is said to be angry at her husband, David, after he mistook her for one of his crutches and tried to hobble out of the house with her under his arm.

written by IainB, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Dyslexic Inventor Invents

An unnamed dyslexic from Brize Norton has invented a machine called the Large Hardon Collider in the hope of one day discovering the elusive, 'dog particle'.

written by IN SEINE, 17 June 2010
Rating:

No More MSRA!

The government have announced that MSRA has been totally eradicated. A new virus has been found, and is 100 times stronger killing everything in it's path.

written by armfeetandtoe, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Egypt To Open Blockade!

Egypt condemns Israeli attack on supply ships and blockade of the West Bank. Promises to open their barrier wall around the area for three days.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Iran/Israel Talking Again

After Iran stated this week that they might send their own boats to the West Bank, Israel replied that they would be searched from the inside out, first by turning it inside out.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Obama Slip-Up

President Obama, angry during meeting with BP leaders yesterday, he told them that he had heard all the excuses and as far as he was concerned, there had been about as much movement as Pelosi's face!

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Not To Worry

China now holds more than $900 billion in U.S. debt and a lot of Americans are worried about this. However, the US congress and House have agreed to sue China for $900 billion over leaded products.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Emeril Won't Play Anymore Tennis

Emeril Lagasse has announced today that he is 100% sure about his decision to retire from tennis. I'm sorry, that should have been Andree Agassi.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Time For A Change

President Obama Stated today that he was ready to push through legislation that will cut our dependence on foreign and replace it with foreign-made windmills.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Gosselin Pissed

Jon Gosselin says he's getting pretty tired of hearing, "Is that a minnow in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Grandparents Change To Grinch Overnight

Grandparents that have been placed in nursing homes everywhere, smile as they think about buying grandkids Vuvuzelas for Christmas.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Could Have Been Worse? Maybe!

Florida Sun: "It now looks like the disaster is twice as big as we first thought. But maybe this one will actually stay with Limbaugh for a few years!"

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

'This isn't the first time New Orleans has survived the British'

It's a humorous new anti-British advertising campaign design to attract British tourists to a city now known as 'the Big grEasy'.

written by Roy Turse, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Birmingham (GB) Muslims ban CCTV, "The Great One" ordered them to do it!

Muslims living in Birmingham have banned CCTV cameras from the area. The Great One ordered them too because he felt he was being spied upon and after all, Birmingham is a satellite state of the Arabs!

written by Jaggedone, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Must Be In Planning Stage

Housing market encouraged as Children's Lincoln Logs Company announces increase in sales over this time last year.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Should Have Stayed With Public Schools

Bristol Palin, still on tour of schools speaking about safe sex finds most schools closed for summer. Heads for home schools. Pregnant.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Denver's Nuggets Drop

The Denver Nuggets of the NBA say they will go more for defense next year. Also, change their name to the Denver Cohones.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Torpedo sold on eBay

A Thai fisherman successfully sold a torpedo that he caught in the Indian Ocean last week. The final bid came in at over £1500 which is more than twice the price offered by the Thai Navy.

written by IN SEINE, 17 June 2010
Rating:

AOL sell BEBO to investment firm

They plan to revitalise the original use of BEBO - hiding behind your hands to entertain babies.

written by Roy Turse, 17 June 2010
Rating:

You Get Your Choice

After receiving thousand of complaints about airline body scanners, passengers are now given a choice of either a body scan of full pat down by old wheezing guy in raincoat

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Thought You Were Shorter & Pale

Native American Huge Heffer takes advantage of name resemblance when models call.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

US OnlyOwes $13 Trillion

U.S. now owes Japan more than China. But every time they ask for paying them back, Fed Chairman plays "Let's Drop The Big One Now" by Randy Newman (Political Science)

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Those Flashbacks

New study shows that most people who witness an electric chair execution never able to eat fried baloney again.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Islands of Adventure will open a new SS Experience

Guests are put into the shoes of Jewish inmates at a Concentration Camp. Head of Universal states "It's a completly immersive experience!"

written by spyke411, 17 June 2010
Rating:

All Came From Saudi Arabia

Woman pleads guilty to accessing Obama's student loan records. Told to keep her big mouth shut!

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

That Could Be One Reason

'Epidemic' growth of Net porn cited. Many blame free laptop given to all prisoners to keep them quiet.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Homo Sapiens On Their Way Out

Aussie scientist: 'Homo sapiens extinct within 100 years; An irreversible situation'. 'Yes but how about us Hetero sapiens asks former US President in Texas.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Heads On Planes!

BOX OF HEADS FOUND IN GOLF BAG ON PLANE! Authorities suspect foul play!

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

"There, Happy Now Obama?"

PENSIONERS PICK UP BILL FOR SPILL! As BP cuts all retired employees income in half.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Well-Expressed Vocabulary

Revealed: Orangutans use language of at least FORTY different gestures to 'talk'...especially love the expression: 'Shit Happens!'

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Like I Quit Smoking Tobacco Cigs, Dude

Giving up smoking 'reduces stress levels' according to study. "Of course, you need to taper off by switching to weed first.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Quitting Smoking Reduces Stress

Giving up smoking 'reduces stress levels' screams red-faced head of research group!

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Gay Makeover

Cameron welcomes gay celebrities to Number 10. You wn't recognize the place if you get a peak.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Sea Life Fights Back

Word of oil spill getting out to the rest of the world as dolphins, whales overturn boats. Dare any oil divers to come into ocean.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Crisis Of 2014

'World could be plunged into crisis in 2014': Cambridge expert predicts 'a great event' will determine course of the century. Many cheered that we may have four whole years left.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

"I'm sorry, Small People"

BP chairman forced to apologise to the 'small people'. "Do I look small to you/", asks 275-pound rugged fisherman.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Won't Look Unless It Looks Funny

Now naked body scans of passengers WON'T be viewed by airport staff unless images are 'suspicious '. How they will determine this without looking, still being considered.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Free Range Eggs Polluted

Free-range eggs 'contain five times as much pollution as those from caged birds', especially on the Gulf Coast.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

They'll Be Flexible Alright

Clegg vows to end tradition of women doing bulk of parenting by offering flexible leave for dads, who will head straight for the pubs.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Pupils Taught About Sex?

Pupils aged five should be taught all about sex, but not by priests: Watchdog's instruction to schools.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Opera Woes

NY's Metropolitan Opera reports 2009 fiscal woes. A new opera is being written about it as we speak.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Not 'Land of the Fleas'

Christina Aguilera to sing national anthem - again. Hopes to have words down better this time.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Also, Ruin Major Import Businesses

Cheap drug could save tens of thousands for those using high-cost cocaine, opium, heroin.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Same Questions, Same Answers

Dem lawmakers challenge Pentagon on Afghan war. Pentagon responds by sending tapes recorded six years ago.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Not All Bad News!

Gulf Oil Sill Now headed for Cuba. "If it gets Castro's beard, he's a goner", says physician.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Greenpeace Appeals For Help

Sea creatures flee oil spill, gather near shore. Greenpeace say they need help in cleaning up whales.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Same Four Notes

Blue Cheer reorganizes to rerecord new version of "Oil On The Water!"

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Plan To Learn To Read Lips

Estimated 2000 sports fans completely deaf after first week of S. African Games.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

No More Water Boarding Necessary

Work is skipped, parties abound, Gitmo orders 500 vuvuzela horns during World Cup.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Terrorist Groups Claim Responsibility

Al-Qaida, Taliban, Hezbollah, Hamas, Shiites, Sunni, Palestine Islamic Jihad in Iraq claim deadly central bank attack.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

PBS Special #3

Ski boot featured on PBS show. Be sure to tune in next week for "The Rottening Of The Roadkill In Real Time"

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

PBS Special #2

Ski boot featured on PBS show! Remember all next week it's "The Snail's Progress"

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Can Hardly Wait

Ski boot featured on PBS show. Remember next week is "All About Aprons" week!

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

At The Cup Games

Meanwhile back to the Cup games in South Africa: "Booooiiinng!
Beeeeooorrrnnn! Boooeeeeemmmm!"

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

New World Cup Ambush Marketing Claim

Fifa have confirmed that they have take action against thirty men for unfairly advertising the US Department of Corrections at a match.

written by Roy Turse, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Looks Bad

Contract: Michael Jackson doc requested lifesaving gear, nurse, mortician.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

SALT Talks Back

Why Some People Crave More Salt: The "Sweating Like Pigs Syndrome"!

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Sunset For Summer Camps

Summer camp: Sunset for an American tradition? Counselors blame "Jason".

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Capello hammers 'worst ever ball'

It clears the bar, wobbles and veers sharply right before disappearing into Row J.

written by Roy Turse, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Families Mistread Iranian Leader

Families of 3 jailed Americans criticize Iran. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's feelings hurt.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

No More Automatic?

Arizona lawmaker takes aim at automatic citizenship with automatic weapon.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

CEO "Devastated?"

BP CEO telling Congress he's 'devastated' by spill. In broken English he declares, "My Baddy".

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Bodies On Tracks Causing Slides

Rodent experts, The Midnight Special, shines light on rats in NYC subways!

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Mucho Votos??

Hispanic apparent winner in unusual NY election. Authorities having a hard time telling them that they have won.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Obama Leaves Blanks #2

FACT CHECK: Obama left blanks in oil spill speech, such as BP declaring bankruptcy and saying "Clean it up yourself."

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Obama Leaves Blanks

FACT CHECK: Obama left blanks in oil spill speech. Like the amount of BP stock belonging to Americans.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Israel Eases Blockade

Israel agrees to ease Gaza land blockade, including rocks as small as marbles.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Israel Eases Rules

Israel agrees to ease Gaza land blockade. Will allow some non-kosher items to be brought in.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

BP CEO Devasted

BP CEO telling Congress he's 'devastated' by spill, bill!

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Rat Gives in

A laboratory rat, despite all urging, stubbornly refused to perform the assigned experiments. After a while, however, he reconsidered and wended his maze.

written by IN SEINE, 17 June 2010
Rating:

'Grooming' Case to Go to Court.

An officer in the Blues and Royals is to appear in court on Monday the suspicion of grooming a horse.

written by IN SEINE, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Hunt for Missing Bride Still Going on

A woman ran out of a church in the middle of her own wedding. She threw off her headdress and ran out. Guests spent the day searching for the woman, still wearing her bride's dress, but without avail.

written by IN SEINE, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Democrats Question Primary Election Victory Of Alvin Greene

They want to know how an inexperienced, unknown, candidate with shady dealings, without a real job can come out of nowhere to win? I guess they forgot about Obama's win under the same circumstances.

written by SirBeavis, 17 June 2010
Rating:

First thing Adam said to Eve 5#

At least we don't have to go shopping, right Eve... I mean Thank God, he didn't created Wal-Mart on his first day. And what the hell is Wal-Mart anyway? - Adam

written by EXILAR, 17 June 2010
Rating:

First thing Adam said to Eve #4

Where the hell is the TV - Adam

written by EXILAR, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Slow on the Uptake: Pakistan Succesfully Captures Man Trying to Catch Bin Laden

Pakistani authorities sucessfully apprehended a highly motivated man trying to kill or capture Bin Laden. After arresting Faulkner,Pak police proceeded to not find Bin Laden for the 4000th day running

written by ronin47empire, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Cool Kids Have Herpes

Herpes is once again the most sought after STD,after a brief surge in the desire for Chlamydia in October,says a Forbes survey among teens aged 14-to-Stupid."All the cool kids have it"-John McGinty

written by ronin47empire, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Dalai Lama Found Playing Non-Violent Videogame

A disturbing Non-violent videogame was found on the Dalai Lama's hacked iPad."Breathe-3D" has evoked strong criticism from both Beijing and conservative gamers for its lack of sex and violence

written by ronin47empire, 17 June 2010
Rating:

That's Life

The Louisiana Swamp Monster was supposed to visit Nessie, the love of his life, in Scotland before going to live in Kansas. The genius decided to book his tickets on Spirit Airlines!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 17 June 2010
Rating:

President Obama put on Watch List

Homeland Security put the president on a terrorist watch list. The president's spend, spend & spend policy is causing the national debt to equal the GDP of $15 trillion, threatening national security!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Other States Pass Illegal Immigration Bills

Idaho and Montana pass similar bills to Arizona's Illegal Immigration bill. These northern Border States have amended the bill to include rabid Canadian environmentalists who slip across the border.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 17 June 2010
Rating:

New Political Poll Results

The American public was asked to choose between garbage man & Washington DC politician as a career, 99% chose the former. The reason, a garbage man picks up trash & a politician produces garbage!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 17 June 2010
Rating:

International Relations

Turkey to change its relationship with Israel and is considering Armenia as its new best friend!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Diet Plan Lawsuit Filed

A 200 pound man is suing a famous diet plan for pain and suffering. According to the unidentified man's lawyer the plan promised a 50 pound weight loss, which occurred to his client's penis!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Shake up at MMS

The new boss at MMS has not fired the lax regulators that reviewed BP's emergency plans. The offenders were given a choice of unpaid long term cleanup jobs in the gulf or incarceration in Yemen!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 17 June 2010
Rating:

President Obama had Lunch in the Gulf

Lunch selections began with a salad tossed in oil & vinegar dressing, then deep fried shrimp done in oil, plus oil sautéed crayfish & finally ended with stir fried crab done in oil. What no dessert!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Paternalistic BP Board Chairman Speaks

BP Board Chairman says "we care about the small people!" Residents of the gulf coast say "Bollocks to you Mr. Chairman!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 17 June 2010
Rating:

North Korean Excuse 27

North Korea blames the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico for the sinking of the South Korean warship in the Yellow Sea. Kim Jong IL demands "BP set up a compensation account payable directly to him!"


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 17 June 2010
Rating:

New Government Regulations

Democratic far left liberal politicians are always looking for something new to regulate. It's now hair length, as airports have those new TSA full body X-ray scanners to facilitate the measurements.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Build More Power Plants

Environmentalists are advising President Obama to turn the lights out in the White House at night to save energy. These rabid environmentalists have had their lights out for years!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 17 June 2010
Rating:

An Old Wife's Tale

A study by an anti-abortion group claims that men whose wife's' have an abortion will experience shrinking penises! Biologists, caution the results are questionable, as it was only a "brief" study.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Would Keep Them Awake

Congress asks the President to make the importing of vuvuzela horns illegal before fall elections.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

King At It Again

Larry King found nude once again except for his suspenders, hanging in a closet. "Well, I gave it a good try but I can't reach my penis."

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Elvis The Pelvis

Research finds brain link for words, music ability linked to the movement of the pelvis.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Sweet Home, North Korea

Neil Young, Jimmy Buffett & John Mellencamp Peace Concert for Peace in North Korea Draws Huge Crowd: After concert, all three arrested after hearing that"old Neil put her down".

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Thought It Was Over Bush & Oil?

Obama's ratings back up after declaring that mineral find in Afghanistan could pay for whole US health care bill.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

He's On A Real High!

Tabloid reveals that the ashes of Timothy Leary shot into space were mixed with LSD.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

Bill Will Sing A Medley

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies as performed by Bill Medley, the One & Only Righteous Brother.

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

More Lawyer Hits #5

New 2010 reveals lawyers have other song favorites that "Lawyers In Love", among them "All My Trials, Soon Be Over"

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

More Lawyer Hits #4

New 2010 reveals lawyers have other song favorites that "Lawyers In Love", among them "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Case".

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

More Lawyer Hits #3

New 2010 reveals lawyers have other song favorites that "Lawyers In Love", among them "Poetry In Motion"

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

More Lawyer Hits #2

New 2010 reveals lawyers have other song favorites that "Lawyers In Love", among them "The Hanging Three".

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
Rating:

More Lawyer Hits

New 2010 reveals lawyers have other song favorites that "Lawyers In Love", among them "If I Had A Hammer".

written by Bureau, 17 June 2010
« May 2010 June 2010 Jul 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
90
2nd
86
3rd
112
4th
108
5th
79
6th
143
7th
106
8th
81
9th
69
10th
87
11th
89
12th
72
13th
149
14th
96
15th
118
16th
95
17th
105
18th
93
19th
71
20th
89
21st
81
22nd
93
23rd
143
24th
80
25th
162
26th
149
27th
121
28th
122
29th
154
30th
121
 

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