Order by:
Rating:

Who's On Top?

Academy Award winning actors Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem were married at the beginning of July in the Bahamas. The couple is currently on their honeymoon, Javier taking on a Cruz.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Over Ten Billion Sold

McDonald's to use 50% less indescribable substance in their burglars. Described as "filler".

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Neither Good At Stir-To-Action Speeches

Historians say that the US may have dodged a bullet in 2000 election. Gore apparently a bigger nut case than Bush.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad Max

MORE Mel Gibson Audio Being Released; Threatens to 'burn down the house, cause a nuclear war!'

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Clinton Back In White House

Bill Clinton back in the White House, holds economic meeting with Obama, two big-haired women.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Actually, The Rooster Came First

It is an old riddle that has perplexed generations: Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Now British scientists claim to have finally come up with the definitive answer: The egg couldn't come.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

FDA Likes Avandia

FDA okay with Avandia, a drug that kills diabetics. It also claims people should know the risk of eating too much sugar, and odds are that the heart issues are really just a preexisting condition.

written by UWGB-Beek, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Su-Bo and Bono in quid pro quo, pro bono J-Lo show

More updates as they come in.

written by matthatt, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Just In Time

Friday Night Special "Our Over-Crowded Planet" drops Viagra as a sponsor!

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

"Wasn't That A Mighty Storm?"

No one seriously injured on Cruise Ship but most are black & blue as rocky ocean knocks a whole case of cans of whupass off top shelf!

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Always Quick On The Trigger

Terrorist explodes prematurely beside his own house. Woozy wife states, "That's just like Mohat. I bet those 72 virgins will be pissed."

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Bush No Richard Nixon

Old tape discovered at White House by Obama girls turns out to be recording of George Bush after in 2002 calling Osama bin Laden a "bad old poopy-tailed butthole!"

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

BP May Have A New Sideline

Friends(?) of actor Mel Gibson asks BP Oil that if cap on well works, can they do Mel's mouth?

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Almond Brothers Cereal Not Selling

The General Mills cereal company has announced the recall of all their Almond Brothers Cereal. No problem, just not selling. "We were a generation too late", says CEO.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Hospital Sued

Patient says that he woke up during his operation at Jewish Hospital in Philly and overheard, "Hey! Poor guy. His Viagra pill didn't dissolve. Let's see what happens."

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Americans Kept In The Dark

The American public, tired of the news about the BP oil spill, asks if we are at war with Iran? Who won the World Cup? What's all this about an octopus playing on the winning team?

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Mel On Shit List

Mel Gibson has made the latest US Shit List. Mel replaced Michael Richards at #19 and is this week's 'Pic To Click!'

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Corn Really Popped

Jiffy Pop has been sued by a woman in Indiana as all the corn popped at the same time, blowing a microwave door off and setting the cat on fire. The cat is fine, but the woman's nerves are shot!

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Woman Puts Knickers on Backwards

A woman got dressed in a hurry and put her knickers on backwards.
A man walking outside saw her in her bedroom window and wrote a Spoof Snippet about it. Sad perverted bastard.

written by Jesus Budda, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Man Stands Outside Front Door

A local man stood outside his front door this morning.
His wife locked him out because she hates the look of his face.
A man across the road wrote a Spoof Snippet about this tedious shite.

written by Jesus Budda, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Garden Gnome In Back Yard Has Creepy Face

The Garden Gnome known as 'Gary the Garden Gnome' has been described by locals as being a 'creepy little fucker'.
Some sad old twat wrote a Spoof Snippet about this crap story.

written by Jesus Budda, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Dog hates Cat

The dog from across the street hates the neighbour's cat.
He barks at it and wants to eat it.
A sad bastard added it as a Spoof Snippet for God knows what reason.

written by Jesus Budda, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Man Sticks Finger Up Bum

A man walking down the street paused to shove his finger up his arse and have a good scratch.
Somebody took a picture on their mobile phone and a sad bastard wrote about it as a Spoof Snippet.

written by Jesus Budda, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Man Laughs at Something

A local man walking down the street suddenly laughed at something that popped into his head.
People thought he was a weirdo but a sad bastard decided it was newsworthy enough for a Spoof Snippet.

written by Jesus Budda, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Bastille Day hypocritical, pourquoi?

Well it tends to be if you invite several well known genocidal perpetrators and serial killers called African leaders and "cunts" merci Sir Bob Geldof!

written by Jaggedone, 14 July 2010
Rating:

"Actually They Were Paid Not To Do It"

Former Supreme Court Judge Ginsberg says she left because of health issues and to avoid appearing in NUDE JUDGES calendar for charity.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Police issue warning!

Warning: Act normal, the police are watching you!

written by armfeetandtoe, 14 July 2010
Rating:

"Smoke On The Water"

Deep Blue, the chess-playing computer, wants to learn to play guitar. Already knows four chords. Asks to be painted Deep Purple!

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Miami Heat Sign More Players

The NBA's Miami Heat sign entire Harlem Globetrotters team. "Tired of traveling, says group spokesman.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

You've Been Clocked!

Ticking box left at bomb factory is completely harmless, say firemen.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

A Fishy Story

Boston-A Milton neighborhood got quite a surprise when a fish fell from the sky shortly after dinnertime last month. Say it's a sign something fishy is going on in politics there.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Obama Billboard

Iowa Billboard Compares Obama to Hitler! Germany Objects!

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Mel Gibson Poll

Is Mel Gibson Just a Jerk? Or Mentally Ill? 35% Jerk, 24% say Mentally Ill, 41% say Both!

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Needs Help, Advice

Giant Woman Too Big to Get to Brain Surgery, instead will report to head shrinker.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Confused

Elderly woman accused of dumping mayonnaise into library drop box, storing books in refrigerator.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

It Just Happens

Officials Can't Do Shit Over 2.1-Million-Gallon Sewage Spill That Flowed Across the Border From Mexico!

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Court Ruling Final

Court Rules Simulated Sex Is Not a Sexual Act. Sends defendant to Simulated Jail!

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Gordon Brown in new play about Lord Byron

Having been outed as 'Mad, Bad & Dangerous to know' The former PM is rehearsing for a West End appearance in aid of an Iraq charity for the homeless!

written by Magic Fingers 1966, 14 July 2010
Rating:

BP Slows Recovery

Gulf oil to keep flowing while cap is analyzed. Many ask that BP bosses be analized!

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Robot On Korean Border

SKorea deploys robot on border with North. Dress it like Donald Duck so Kim won't attack it.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Small Businesses In Trouble Everywhere

New Regulations Hits Farmers Who Can't Afford Them! Business Groups Air Concerns About Over-Regulation.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Obama Poll Numbers Bottom Out!

CBS SHOCK POLL: 13% believe President's policies have helped them. Other 87% can't recall him doing anything.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Overspent On 70th Birthday!

Ringo accused of starting "Paul is dead" rumor once again in order to sell more albums. Told this is his last warning.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Pilot Asks To Return

Air France plane returns immediately after 98-year-old gets the shits. "May Day! We're dying up here!. All masks are on!"

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

BP's New Spokesman

BP hires new spokesman, Andy Griffith: "Oh naw, BP ain't bad atall. Bo siree, they are actually PAYING us good money for sand. Now lookee here. That ain't half bad if you asked me!"

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Taliban On The Run!

Taliban flee latest attack by United Nation's troops. Abandon pile of rock fought over for the past three weeks.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

More Council Idiocy

Jobseeker's anger as council refuses to rearrange interview... which clashed with mum's FUNERAL. May have funeral director bring Mon with him for interview.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Don't Uase Teaspoons

Parents warned of overdose risk of giving medicine to children on teaspoons. Told that teaspoons could bend from the baby's weight.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

That's How They Do It!

Shopping centre installs Asian 'stand-up' toilets following cultural awareness course. Several arrested for celebrating behind mall.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Staycations High In US Also

Number of family holidays abroad plummets by 10million as staycations soar. "We're putting our money in local area pubs and cafes."

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

BP Catching It!

Now U.S. senators blame BP for release of Lockerbie bomber, kidnapping Lindbergh baby!

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

British Retro Movement

Sterilise the poor, fire half of politicians and bring back the workhouse: Public's bizarre suggestions for spending cuts.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Moat Still Rocking The Boat

I had to play dead to save my life': Police officer reveals terrifying moment he was shot in the face by Raoul Moat, the hero of many who escaped being shot in the face!

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

To Get Chilly Reception?

Iranian nuclear scientist who claimed he was kidnapped by U.S. flies home via mystery third country, Jordan.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Jury Texting Case

Judge's fury as teenager almost wrecks two trials by texting gossip about 'paedo' defendant to her fellow juror. Could be texting from jail next.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Steinbrenner Remembered

Steinbrenner remembered for his bluster, charity, hiring & firing of Billy Martin.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Jewel Goes Undercover

Jewel goes undercover at karaoke bar for Web video. Next person in line for karaoke asks to be skipped.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Palin, Johnson Engaged

Bristol Palin, Levi Johnston say they're engaged. "Haven't told parents yet, but suspect they know from 1000 news sources."

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Danes Warning!

Danish study: Obese men face higher death risk. "They're digging their own graves with a spoon!"

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Cut Their Own Throats?

Danish study: Obese men face higher death risk. United Nations orders them to quit making danish!

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Jellyfish In San Diego

Rare dark jellyfish showing up in San Diego Bay. "Probably immigrants from the Gulf", say experts

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Tea Loses To Coffee

Tea party favorite loses GOP runoff in Alabama after Starbucks leads support to opponent.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Defector Going Home

Defector do-over? Iran scientist wants to go home. "I'm ready for my virgins, now."

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Utah Also Checking Immigrants

Utah checking up on illegal immigrants as Arizona laws being considered.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Egypt To Search For Weapons First

Libya aid ship moving again, heading to Egypt. Egypt will remove their PLO wall long enough for supplies to get to PLO.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Nostalgia Rules

Police dodge gunfire in 3rd night of Belfast riots. Something to do with some skirmish in 1276.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Who Cares About Gorilla?

'Invisible Gorilla' At Sports Event Test Shows How Little We Notice! However, invisible cheerleader outfits notice in .5 seconds.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

49 States Warned

Salsa, guacamole dips tied to food poisoning, except in Arizona: CDC

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Waterboarding Include. Oil

Iran: Nuclear scientist on his way home, still wet and gibbering!

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Palliative Care Lacking?

Palliative care lacking in much of the world as 99% have no idea what that means.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Given Enough Rope

Blagojevich prosecutors done quicker than expected. "He's done a bigger job in incriminating himself than we could have done", say prosecutors.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Back To The Future

Police dodge gunfire in 3rd night of Belfast riots. Old grudges last a long time.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

New Plane

MoD unveils unmanned fighter jet 'of the future' will only fly over, drop skittles and jelly beans. "Certainly not meant for attacking people!"

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Airplane Of The Future

MoD unveils unmanned fighter jet 'of the future'. Think Tank in Massachusetts asks about enemy hacking system & sending it after US!

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

4-Time Lottery Winner Cofesses!

4-time Texas lotto winner rich with money, mystery. Finally reveals she gets tips from Paul the Octopus.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

"Look There's Air Here!"

'Invisible Gorilla' Test Shows How Little We Notice! "Yeah, but anything invisible is seldom noticed."

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Bunch Of Dips!

Salsa, guacamole dips, rat poison tied to food poisoning: CDC

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

White House On Another Planet

New WH report claims more jobs from stimulus bill and only at a cost of $25,000 per person hired.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Oil Cap In No Hurry

Gulf oil to keep flowing while cap is analyzed. "What's another million barrels going to matter? Let's do this right!"
Meanwhile there's a shark writing down his name.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Hardship in spades

President Obama: "The U.S. will dig itself out of this economic hole, but first, I've got to ship even more jobs overseas - seems no one in the U.S. knows how to make a shovel anymore."

written by The San Francisco Onion, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Going once, going twice...

Former Illinois Gov. Blagojevich, accused of conspiring to sell President Obama's Senate seat, to take witness stand in corruption trial next week. Judge warns: "Witness stand not for sale either."

written by The San Francisco Onion, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Vive La France

To be deemed constitutional any new French law must give all French women over 21 and under 50 the choice of (wearing a veil and going topless) or (not wearing a veil and going topless)!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Takeru Kobayashi Arrest a Misunderstanding

Waving his arms and speaking in Japanese Takeru said "where is there a good Italian restaurant in Brooklyn NY, I am so sick of eating hot dogs?" Police misunderstood and arrested him!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

N Korea Reschedules Talks on Torpedoed S Korean Warship

N Korea is searching for another excuse for the attack on a S Korean warship, as Kim Jong il has already used global warming, space aliens, UFOs, Iran, the devil and the gulf oil leak!


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Netanyahu and Obama have Frank Discussion

President Obama said "I like Charley's Dog Shack on Wisconsin Avenue in Washington DC." Prime Minister Netanyahu said "I like Max's Kosher Wieners on Dizengoff Street in Tel Aviv."

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Milk and Cookies Approach Didn't Work

Jihadist terrorist website thanks western world Democrat far left liberals for helping them to achieve takeover goals. However these liberal loons will still be killed first, then everyone else!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Kudos to Clinton

Fifteen years ago President Clinton had the "testicular fortitude" to stop the massacre of Bosnian Muslims, while the Europeans, NATO and the UN stood around with their hands in their pockets!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Confession of a Radicalized American

"I used to be a middle-of-the-road Democrat and then came the Obama administration. I became a radicalized American!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

No Fries for You

A noted psychiatrist indicates that members of the food police threatening to sue fast food restaurants over toys in kid's meals suffered "a loss of their marbles" during childhood!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

A Star is Born

Jessie Jackson Sr. signs with Cleveland Cavaliers to replace LeBron James. Jessie has to complete one full season & the team must win NBA championship before he can collect $30 million signing bonus!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

No Confidence

The Dodd/Frank Wall Street Reform Bill doesn't inspire much confidence in the American public. This lack of belief is based on the bill's sponsors Sen. Dodd, Rep. Frank, FANNIE MAE and FREDDIE MAC.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

A Sign of New Times

Novelty businesses are gearing up production for January 2013 with pins, buttons, posters and bumper stickers reading "I SURVIVED THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION."

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

A Boat Story

Former President George H W Bush ran his pleasure boat aground. The Obama administration has torpedoed the "USA Ship of State!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

A Vampire Horror Flick

The Obama administration is being called a vampire state. The reason, life has been sucked out of small business owners and private sector job creation by a "bloody" growing bureaucratic monster!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

FEC Report on Obama Contributions

The Federal Election Commission indicates that President Obama gave the American taxpayer the shaft, the finger and a kick in the ass costing upwards of $3 trillion!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Local Animal Rights Groups Upset over Pigeon Ban

San Francisco CA City Council bans pigeons in the city. Council members say "we give our citizens enough crap without requiring outside help!" An animal rights protest march on city hall is planned!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Coke Smuggling may increase in San Francisco CA

The SF City Council may ban sugary drinks (Coke, Pepsi, etc) from vending machines. SFPD is worried that Arizona, Nevada and Oregon smugglers may dig tunnels into the city to bring in the Coke!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

EPA to the Rescue

The EPA placed a moratorium on eating large orders of Brussels sprouts postulated by the Nanny State Bureau of Healthy Eating (NSBHE) until "outhouse gas emission" regulations are complete.



written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Sauce for the Gander

First lady fires White House Executive Chefs! The president & guests will now only be eating large orders of Brussels sprouts in accordance with Nanny State Bureau of Healthy Eating (NSBHE) advice.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Ornithologists Decode Cry of the Far Left Wing Loon

The endangered Democratic far left wing liberal loons cry @!%**#@, @!%**#$, @!%**## has finally been decoded. The whining shriek means overtax, overspend and over regulate American citizens!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

The 2010 Lame Duck Congressional Session

Dead duck Democratic liberal members will be preparing their resumes. They plan to seek jobs as lobbyists for Wall Street, fast food restaurants, energy companies and business's they once vilified!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

My Other Car

The buyer of President Obama's 2005 Chrysler 300C may donate the car to the Smithsonian Institution. Brief consideration was given to letting former presidential candidate John Edwards live in it!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

The Prisoner on Pennsylvania Avenue

When Republicans take over Congress in 2011, President Obama plans to write a book. The title will be "The Prisoner on Pennsylvania Avenue."

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Problem living in Canada

The problem with living in Canada is that when I sit here typing at 10:15 pm all the Brits are asleep. Well, they're all asleep except the insomnicacs of course.

written by Lady Godiva, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Coincidence!

365 readers online as I type. That's one for each day of the year.

written by Lady Godiva, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Yogi Berra Tribute

Yogi Berra tribute to George Steinbrenner: He was one of the nicest dead man that I ever met."

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

I Wouldn't Go In There Right Now!

Tenth floor office in New York City send employees home early nuclear dump in small bathroom facilities turns on sprinkler system.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Forget It!

Gambino family whacks their 10,000 victim who informed on them and....no they didn't!!

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Could Be!

Taliban to stop hiring. "Our caves are full now, completely full. Check back to see if there's been a cancellation."

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Lohan's Fingernails

After reviewing Lindsay Lohan video of "F*** You" on her nails, Judge orders public caning of her naked ass, having it filmed and selling copies to bring in income for hiring more police.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Look, Another One

Weight Watchers Headquarters in Orlando, Florida recalls over one million "tires".

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

"Actually Called Them His 'Horsies'"

PETA demands that kid be sent to his room for a year over fly/wing incident.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

One Last Purchase

George Steinbrenner, after purchasing all the best baseball players for the New York Yankees, buys the big one at 80!

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
Rating:

Sweatshop Discovered

OSHA has uncovered another sweatshop. This time the little ones were forced to bake cookies while living in trees.

written by Bureau, 14 July 2010
« Jun 2010 July 2010 Aug 2010 »
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1st
96
2nd
32
3rd
91
4th
100
5th
87
6th
97
7th
96
8th
81
9th
103
10th
70
11th
69
12th
127
13th
96
14th
114
15th
100
16th
85
17th
123
18th
97
19th
93
20th
68
21st
49
22nd
59
23rd
80
24th
66
25th
95
26th
68
27th
114
28th
87
29th
100
30th
97
31st
91
 

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