Order by:
Rating:

Dairy Workers to Get Bonus for Working in the Snow!

Workers at a Scottish dairy are to receive a £100 bonus for collecting and delivering milk in snowbound Scotland. The cows get nothing! "They are udderly disgusted," said spokesman, Aberdeen Angus.

written by IN SEINE, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Life (and death) can be cruel!

A dyslexic Muslim suicide bomber blew himself up today in Helmand Province, Afghanistan, eager to collect his 27 virgins.

written by IN SEINE, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Pete Doherty in the news again!

Babyshambles front man Pete Doherty was in prison (again) today but it is looking forward to his next release!

written by IN SEINE, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Just one more Sarah Palin anag.

Sarah Palin = Ah Iran Slap

written by queen mudder, 28 January 2010
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Even more Palin word-twist misery...

Sarah Palin = PS Anal Hair

written by queen mudder, 28 January 2010
Rating:

And another Palin twist...

Sarah Palin = Anal Parish

written by queen mudder, 28 January 2010
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More Palin wordgame misery...

Sarah Palin = Las Piranha

written by queen mudder, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Sarah Palin anagram reveals secret of her soul

Sarah Palin = Sharia Plan!

written by queen mudder, 28 January 2010
Rating:

David Cameron is British?

Pull the otherone; he's born in Haiti just like Cousin Barack!

written by queen mudder, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Weightlifting wonder

Pat Robertson, age 79, still claims to be able to leg press 2000 lbs. Nobody seems to believe him.

written by Xinix Xaxx, 28 January 2010
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Oh Iran

is building a low Earth orbital platform that exploits miniature UAV like technology - I kid u not.

written by Tcoah, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Hillary Clinton's new haircut?

Kinda Miss Piggy meets Animal in the tumble drier.

written by queen mudder, 28 January 2010
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Susan Boyle viral?

She's more an overblown microbe than the H1N1 bug.

written by queen mudder, 28 January 2010
Rating:

O'Bomba's Downsized Ambitions

"Stayin' Alive"

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
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Michelle On Barack

Michelle Obama says her husband gets very upset when he doesn't get his way. May have crossed over to the Dark Side.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Cheryl Cole intelligent?

She makes Princess Diana's hamster-keeping diploma look like Einstein's Theorem.

written by queen mudder, 28 January 2010
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Kate Moss alluring?

Seen cuter looking comatose stick insects in the invertebrates house at London Zoo...

written by queen mudder, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Angelina Jolie beautiful??

Seen better things floating belly up in the Potomac...

written by queen mudder, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Woody Harrison/ Michael Jackson

Woody Harrelson says he may change his name to Michael Jackson. "I kinda like it. I think I'll smoke on it for awhile."

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

SC Cuts State's Education Budget in Half!

With only 48% graduation rate from state's high schools, board of education eliminates K1-K8 for 52% of School Age Kids..."Why didn't I think of that," says Obama! Money goes for casino development.

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Obama Says 'green jobs' Answer for 15% Unemployment in South Carolina!

Upon hearing the news, more illegal aliens flocked in to the state and picked all the tomatoes before they were ripe. Says Obama, "Hey, fried green tomatoes ain't all that bad!"

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Bathroom's Outside, Senator

Senator Larry Craig goes to Haiti. Told to pick up bricks. "I thought it said, "Pick up dicks!"

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

One Brick Shy....

Senator John Edwards goes to Haiti. Told to pick up bricks. "I thought it said, 'Pick up chicks!"

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Bureau Takes 5 for Tea....Overhauled by Snippet Co-op!

A cabal of 123 Spoof Writers, creating Snippets non stop for Snippet Thursday, announced they have finally Surpassed The King of Snippets...by One! "Fucking guy is lazy - you snooze you lose!" Said one.

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Obama Vows to 'get people moving again!"

The President has instructed Attorney General Eric Holder to strike down all states' ban on Hitch Hiking. "It's worth the risk,' he said, 'better a few carjackings than these people congregating!"

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Obama Vows High Speed Train Project Will Stimulate Economy!

France, Germany and Japan agree, as all the rolling stock, technology, expertise, patents, and qualified workers will be coming from their countries. Al Gore is a major investor in the no bid scheme.

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

US At War With Poland!

New US diplomat to Poland mad at Republicans after one of them hire a guy who speaks Klingon to teach the diplomat Klingon as the Polish language before his assignment.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Channel Tunnel to be Closed & Converted to Council Housing!

PM Brown made the announcement as UK gets closer to admitting Turkey into the EU. "There's no fooking place left, really, " said the optically challenged Labour Leader, "and we need to control 'em!"

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Another Party Crasher

White House guard gets his jaws slapped by Michelle Obama's mother after stopping her as party crasher during meeting of leading Dems.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Chinese Takes Dogs & Cats off Menu!

Authorities say they will replace the country favourites with MONK fish, a tasty morsel found in Tibetan lakes and streams which are considered pests and a threat to government order.

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

"RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!"

Environmentalists say they are tired of boring Al Gore doing warnings for global warming. Plan to hire "Bobcat" Goldthwait to do TV commercials.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Spoof Readership So Low, Writers Check in for Rehab!

48 writers and their fans have checked into The Moorview Institute for R&R suffering from Spoof Withdrawal. "At least we can sit around and laugh at ourselves, no sense crying over toasted cheese."

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
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Divorce A Good Thing?

Leading psychiatrist says that it's a good thing the nuclear family has fallen apart with divorces and remarriages. "Some were ready to blow any moment."

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Editor Mark Lowton said "it's Lights Out for The Spoof!"

He'll be pulling maintainace on the site this week while contributors hold their breath. Last week Mark fixed things and readership dropped off 33%.
One writer lost 15 lbs. living off just Snippets.

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

The New "Napoleon"

Man who says he is a clone of himself claims he got rid of all evidence of the original man by burning him up because he was dangerous and might burn people up.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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UK Postal Worker Fired for Licking Stamp of Quadriplegic Veteran!

Authorities said the 25 year mail carrier would be charged with theft of government services, disregard of current political correctness directives, and for providing aid to 'an enemy combantant.'

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Theater Fireworks

Pee Wee Herman a eunuch after guard at theater thinks he's got a gun in his hand.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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He's A Goner

New ocean species discovered that feeds on shit. Rush Limbaugh missing from his seaside home in Florida leaving only the a copy of two books he wrote and towel on the sand.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Cheryl Blair Remodels her Walk In Closet to Celebrate Tony's Interrogation on Iraq!

Former PM's wife said she was making a few improvements to one of their homes prior to sale in case she and Tony 'were suddenly forced to move, and leave the country we love...maybe Poland will do!"

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Nancy Pelosi Endorses EverReady Batteries in Super Bowl Ad!

Madame Speaker signed on for the endorsement after only having to change the batteries in her dildo once during the State of the Union. "That Bunny had me hoppin", she told Joe Biden privately.

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Obama Acknowledges Success of Ford Motor Company!

Announces cancellation of all government contracts with Ford, and negotiates new contract for government vehicles with Stryker Motors through Al Gore.
"Success is not an Option" sez Prez in Speech.

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Obama Takes Page from UK to Put More Unreliable People to Work in 2010!

"I have directed that no longer can blood sucking employers discriminate against 'unreliable workers' .If a small business can't find enough 'unreliables' we'll lease them some from Government Posts."

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Obama Consults Dictionary, Corrects Himself...Again!

"Let's be perfectly clear as we find a new way forward...they're not lies...they're simply prevarications..."

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Lou "I Sure Done Went And Stepped In It" Dobbs

Lou Dobbs, who is fast becoming the most forgotten man in America, was seen walking around his neighborhood in boxer shorts and mumbling to himself, "Okay, okay, they can all stay por favor."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Is It Shirley Palin or Sarah Temple?

Sarah Palin says if one more person says her new curly locks hairdo looks silly, she is going back to Alaska and staying there forever...Oh that is too easy - Snowflake your hairdo looks silly.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
Rating:

The Nancy Grace - Madonna Feud Gets Closure?

Nancy Grace remarked that Madonna has just become a boring, bitter, old has-been bitch. Madonna replied that it takes one to know one. Great. Case closed. Next.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
Rating:

"Sir, Could You Speak Up A Smidgen?"

The featured speaker at The Delaware Home For The Deaf complained to the head organizer after his speech, that he kinda has the feeling that his speech may have fallen on deaf ears.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
Rating:

The Memorable John "The Comb Over King" McCain

Senator John McCain was asked how his memory is. The Arizona senator replied, "My memory is just as good as it never was."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
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Is That The Artist Formerly Known As Flavor Flav?

Rapper Flavor Flav stated that in the interest of health and nutrition he will now be known as Diet Flavor Flav.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
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Ah Ms. (Joan) Rivers You Have To Quit Mumbling and Speak Up

Joan Rivers has had so many tummy tucks, that all of the fat is now starting to back up into her throat.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Mel Gibson Math - $1 Billion Divided By 2, and Then $½ Billion Divided By 2 (Again!)

Mel Gibson says that his brand new baby girl has his girlfriend's looks. (And her daddy's money!)

Mel, Mel, Mel, are you really that stupid dude? Sheeeesh!

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
Rating:

That's Wynonna Judd - With Double N's, Double D's, and Double Chins

Ashley Judd commented she is extremely concerned about her sister Wynonna's tremendous weight gain. She noted that Wy has become just like Kirstie Alley, except that she's pretty and she can sing.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
Rating:

The Non-Academy Award Nominated Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton has been signed to star in The Elizabeth Hasselbeck Story. Hilton remarked that it is going to be hard practicing to talk without really making one damn bit of sense. Hmmm.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
Rating:

The Lying Dick Cheney Has Left The Building

The reason that no one has heard from Dick Cheney in over two weeks is because he promised his grandmother that if he can't talk without lying, then he just won't talk.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Is That Susan Boyle with a yle?

Susan Boyle's manager suggested that perhaps she should change her last name to one that is not as harsh sounding. After going through dozens of names, the two agreed on the name Susan Wart.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Hey, Didn't That Bro Used To Be Kanye West?

Kanye West wants Taylor Swift to apologize to him for causing his career to disappear like the sucker was never even here.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
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The Bitchy Singer Still Known As Madonna

Madonna is getting rather bitchy in her old age. Her personal manager has suggested that she go in for a personality transplant.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
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Where In The World Is Little Donnie (Rumsfeld?)

Former George W. Bush crony Donald Rumsfeld has stated that contrary to popular belief, he has not entered into the 'Witness Protection Program.'

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Tesco's bans people in pyjamas, Burkas and naked are OK!

Tesco has banned barefoot pyjama wearing slobs from their supermarkets, wearing Burkas and going naked is OK as long as you have your slippers on!

written by Jaggedone, 28 January 2010
Rating:

War Mongers Weakest Link

In a Weakest link special for War Mongers including Tony Blair,Jack Straw and Gordon Brown, Brown was voted off as the weakest link as he always forgot to bank. Seems he is no good with banks.

written by SPECTRUM, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Andy Murray is even beginning to annoy scots

Andy Murray is even beginning to annoy Scots as his mouth is becoming bigger than the Clyde tunnel. Some would even prefer to watch re-runs of Sally Gunnell!

written by SPECTRUM, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Rookie Off To A Bad Start

New guy hired in Florida asked to milk one of the snakes comes back and says he was bit. On the way to hospital, he mumbles that he couldn't even find it's tits.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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After 50 Years, Nothing

Scientists mark 50 years of trying to contact intelligence, finally give up on Washington, DC and begin looking into outer space.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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What Do We Trade For It?

Most people in the southern US say they would like to support the environment by purchasing 'Fair Trade' coffee they have heard about but they can never find any at the county fairs.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Bird Dance

Researchers discover that birds can dance to today's music, especially chickens. "If you put some laxatives in their feed, they'll soon begin doing the 'funky chicken'."

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

World leaders want the Taliban to receive wages for their services!

Non-corrupt president Karzai has told world leaders, pay the Taliban for their services. World leaders think its a grand idea and promptly paid them their monthly salary, tax free!

written by Jaggedone, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Fan Hits The Shit

A football supporter threw a bottle at footballer Craig Bellamy. Police said it was the first time that a fan had hit the shit.

written by Earl Grey, 28 January 2010
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Maddona To Adopt Portsmouth FC

Madonna is to adopt Portsmouth FC following fears that little Pompey has no chance of survival in her natural environment.

written by Earl Grey, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Underwear bomber finally admits to his brand of choice

He prefers Fruit of the Boom.

written by Jalapenoman, 28 January 2010
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Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Held Up By TSA Agents While Boarding Flight

Each girl got personally checked to make sure her panties were not a bomb.

written by Jalapenoman, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Obama Not Happy With 10% Jobless Rate

"I thought that I would have destroyed 20% of the companies in this country by now."

written by Jalapenoman, 28 January 2010
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Will Tiger Woods Return for the British Open?

Only if he can keep his pants closed.

written by Jalapenoman, 28 January 2010
Rating:

NBA Center Apologizes For Nude Photos of Genitals on Internet

"I'm sorry that not everyone is happy looking at pictures of my dick. I guess you Lesbians don't know a good thing when you see it."

written by Jalapenoman, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Obama vows to fight the jobless rate in State of the Union Address

Beer summitts with all of the currently unemployed should take up all of his time for the next 214 years.

written by Jalapenoman, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Obama says that he's not a lame duck in State of the Union Address

"There's nothing wrong with my legs, It's just my jokes that are lame."

written by Jalapenoman, 28 January 2010
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Obama vows "I don't quit" in State of the Union Address

"I've still got three more years to screw up this country."

written by Jalapenoman, 28 January 2010
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Social scientists say that taking pictures of genitals with camera phones is latest craze

"It is the modern day equivalant of xeroxing your butt.

written by Jalapenoman, 28 January 2010
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Archaeologists answer musical question that is over 3000 years old

"Whe believe that it was Solomon that who wrote the book of love in Song of Solomon.

written by Jalapenoman, 28 January 2010
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Typo sends new medical equipment to Senior Citizen's Center

Beriatric surgery is now geriatric surgery!

written by Jalapenoman, 28 January 2010
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Taylor Swift Upset Her Topless Pictures Were Removed From Internet

"I guess that they administrators thought they were kiddie porn picks of an eleven year old girl."

written by Jalapenoman, 28 January 2010
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Obama Administration Upset At FoxNews (again)

White House says that they shouldn't have added laugh track to State of the Union Address.

written by Jalapenoman, 28 January 2010
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Simon Cowell Wants No More Gay Contestants On American Idol After Adam Lambert Fiasco

"We've now got Ellen Degeneres and Ryan Seacrest, isn't that enough?"

written by Jalapenoman, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Adam Lambert to Record Old Partridge Family Song

Lyrics, however, will be changed to "I Think I Love Me."

written by Jalapenoman, 28 January 2010
Rating:

"Everybody's Talking At Me"

Las Vegas has announced that it's first male prostitute there is Joe Buck!

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Doing Hard Time

Consumer group warns against taking a double dose of Viagra, Cialis or Levitra: "You overdo it and you're in for some hard times", states pharmacist.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Let's Do Another Take!

Wardrobe mishap during commercial leads Burger King to accidentally show off his Whopper!

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Don't Worry, Be Happy

Stressed team of surgeons told: "Don't worry, do it tomorrow. There'll be less of them."

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Great Grandma's Dead!

Family's anger after hospital wrongly tells them great-grandmother had died. "Interrupted our supper. The old bag died ten years ago", says still-grieving great-grandson.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Several Models Brought In

Small Arkansas police force artist sends officers on chase for a stick man who held up a bank in Maggity.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Dinosauer A Redhead

Oh no, it's Ginger-saurus! For first time scientists uncover colour of dinosaur and it was ... a red-head! Most expected a blond.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Close Call

Three men dodge death after their helicopter crash lands on the edge of a canyon ridge, two miles from a one two foot drop! That should be, "two feet from a one mile drop!"

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Hadn't Seen Any In Six Hours

Office workers in downtown Buffalo, New York, go running to the windows to see it snow.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Blowing Nose While Driving

Driver facing criminal trial after he was caught blowing his nose while behind the wheel, stops to wipe his ass during testimony.


written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Speech Not Bad

We deserve these setbacks: Apologetic Obama tells America he's listening, but vows he won't quit in first State of the Union address. 13 standing ovations, 4 "You Lie!" and one thrown shoe.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Mother Rebukes Grandfather

Local grandfather purchases grandson solid Platinum baseball bat. "He's spoiling that kid", reports mother.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Climategate!

'Climategate' scandal scientists broke the law by hiding data from global warming sceptics. Alaska now "up to our ass" in polar bears.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Tesco Dress Codes

Cover up! No shopping in PJs or barefoot, Tesco tells shoppers as it becomes first supermarket to unveil a dress code. "No shoes, no socks, no shirt, no service. Thongs are fine"

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

NKoreans Stirring Up Trouble

Errant North Korean rocket finally misses same spot in ocean and zooms over Japan hitting Godzilla in the ass.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Added Too Many Zeros Again

Blunders that meant £1m was paid in benefits to just TEN people, who have not been seen since.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Cost-Sharing Hurts Elderly

Increased patient cost-sharing may hurt elderly. "Just another way Obama trying to kill us off", says pensioner.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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India Into Space Flights

India plans first manned space flight in 2016. Will have 75 aboard including those hanging onto the outside.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Toyota's Gas Pedal Sticks

Toyota extends recall to Europe amid US problems with stuck gas pedals, as Toyota autos circle city roundabouts at top speed until they turn to butter.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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High Court Snubs Obama

Biden defends Obama's criticism of high court: "Not been right since marijuana legalized."

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Sweat Lofge Not Cause Of Death

Owners say AZ sweat lodge not to blame for deaths. Blame curse of Navajo medicine man.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Allies Mulling Exit Plans

International allies mull exit from Afghanistan. France could pull out cooks in six months, Italy the same with 13 barbers.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Or, Possibly, The Shark

White House to dole out $8 billion in rail grants as economy once again jumps the tracks.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Obama Quotes Agnew

Obama bucks up Democrats on health care. Uses old Spiral Agnew term, "Nervous Nellies".

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Ford Sales Up Also

Ford earns $2.7 billion last year. That's Francis Ford Coppola. Auto company did pretty fair, also.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Dogs Of War

Dogs of war' saving lives in Afghanistan. Cats say dogs and humans both nuts.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Traffic To Move Slower, Cheaper

Toyota recalls additional 1.09M vehicles in US. Will furnish segways until cars are fixed.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Evolution At Work

Running Shoes Changed How Humans Run! Modern cases of hemorrhoids from sitting change the way humans walk!

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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New Wind Record

231-mph NH wind gust is no longer world's fastest as 265MPH fart by Arnold Schwarzenegger blows people sitting behind lectern through wall & into street.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Teacher Gets New Apple

Apple introduces new $499 iPad tablet computer. Students in one Ohio class of 160 purchase one for teacher.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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"Obama This, I Did That"

In Text of Obama's State of the Union address, he only mentions himself 237 times, down 50% from usual speeches.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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What people really think of Obama's first year of office?

Just ask the voters in VA, NJ and most recently in MA: 'a disaster for the American economy and jobs'

written by Tcoah, 28 January 2010
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Obama Falling Back

Embattled Obama declares in speech, 'I don't quit till I fall in my shit!'

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Lieberman Against Pork Bill

Independent Joe Lieberman comes out strongly against new bill filled with pork!

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
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Obama's version of "no shortcuts" and "less government spending"

"Obama urges Congress to come together around new stimulus spending and short-term economic relief." Can't make this stuff up.

written by Tcoah, 28 January 2010
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Obama's Plan

Creating real jobs - yes - but in India and China

written by Tcoah, 28 January 2010
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US waste defined

Obama's wasted year - the whole of 2009 wasted, not working on building American Jobs

written by Tcoah, 28 January 2010
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US resilience defined

US Economy and Jobs - on life-support after 12 months of Obama's stupid agenda.

written by Tcoah, 28 January 2010
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Alien Worlds Federation (AWF)

Impressed with 'Doctor Who' re-runs - want their version of the ATMOS device fitted to every car - starting with Toyota brands.

written by Tcoah, 28 January 2010
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"The Spoof"

To be renamed "The Sloth"

written by Tcoah, 28 January 2010
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Toyota Recall

Just a cover story to crash-fit alien devices to cars to meet alien quota demands.

written by Tcoah, 28 January 2010
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Obama: "I don't believe in short-cuts"

"No Sir. Just put your head in a plastic bag, your hands on your heart, and tell me I'm wonderful, the 'best thing since sliced bread' and vote accordingly in November 2010".

written by Tcoah, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Obama's Plea to Congress

"Give me a second chance to $%@# up the economy some more."

written by Tcoah, 28 January 2010
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Alien Recall

Over two million aliens recalled to planet Toyotarus

written by Tcoah, 28 January 2010
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Subo Wrestling the new craze

After over rated singer Susan Boyle wrestled with an intruder at her home a new craze has started were people dress up as Subo and wrestle its called Subo wrestling.

written by SPECTRUM, 28 January 2010
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The KKK Is Hurtin'

The Ku Klux Klan hit with economic woes announces that it has been forced to lay-off 100 racists.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
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Tiger "Mr. Golf Gate" Woods Is Still In The Rehab Center

Tiger Woods has told his rehab supervisor that he is very anxious to get back to playing golf so that he can start picking up easy white chicks again.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
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The SS Toyota Recall

Toyota issues a massive recall. Owners are instructed to drive to Galveston where their car will be loaded on a ship and sent back to Japan.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
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"Ey Goomba, Pizza Dis"

Due to the popularity of the MTV reality show, Jersey Shore, the state of New Jersey has just voted to make Italian the state's official language.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
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Welcome To Sea World ("We Now Frisk")

Sea World of San Antonio reports that overnight someone broke into the Orca whale facility and stole one of its 15,000 pound Orca whales.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
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Paris Hilton: That's Just Yucky!

Paris Hilton heard someone mention the cliche 'you can bet your bottom dollar' and she asked why anyone would want to keep a dollar there.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
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It Could Be Kirstie Alley's Fault

Kirstie Alley, who weighs 385 pounds has been asked by Los Angeles city officials to please move to Nevada because her weight could upset the San Andreas Fault.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
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Toyota Does Not Want Anyone To Panic

Toyota in an effort to avoid a nationwide panic issues the following directive: The automobile recall only affects those cars that are equipped with an accelerator pedal.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
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The English Channel By Any Other Name...

The Chanel #5 Perfume Corp. has paid England £2,000,000 [$3.24 million U.S.] to legally change the name of the English Channel to The English Chanel #5.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
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No More Non-Selling Girl Scout Cookies

Due to extremely low sales numbers, the Girl Scout Organization will no longer be selling Girl Scout Cookies. Beginning next year they will instead sell Girl Scout Bottled Water.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
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The Town Known As New Haiti

Billionaire Talk Show Host Oprah Winfrey has offered to buy Haiti and move it to New Jersey.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
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Don't Cry For Him Argentina

Argentina has just named South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford as its 2010 Tourist of The Year.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
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Pass Me The Bridge Please

California in an effort to bring in much-needed revenue has agreed to rename The Golden Gate Bridge, The Golden Grahams Gate Bridge.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
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The Non-Dancing With The Stars Wynonna Judd

Hefty Wynonna Judd has been turned down as a contestant on this years edition of Dancing With The Stars. The producers are afraid that if Wy steps on a dancer, it's lights out and adios mutha!

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
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The Acting Vice-President

Vice-President Joe Biden has agreed to star in the leading role in the motion picture, The Bob Uecker Story.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
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Sutherland Blows $869,000!

Kiefer Sutherland loses $869,000 in a cattle scam. He realizes now he should have invested the money in gophers instead.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2010
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Met Office Forecast BBQ Spring

We are in for a heatwave this spring announced the Met Office. Sales of umbrellas have soared

written by fatboy, 28 January 2010
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Unemployedto be shot

In an effort to reduce CO2 all the unemployed are to be shot.

written by fatboy, 28 January 2010
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Astronomer Says Aliens May Not Be Friendly

Okay then, let's not ask them to be our friends on Facebook.

written by Gail Farrelly, 28 January 2010
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Rolls-Royce Upbeat on Spoof.com Roast Model

Designed especially for Publishers, Editors and Writers, the online luxury cruiser brings the latest celebrity roasts, spoofs and satire to not only your eyes, but other senses as well, Farts and all.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
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Kirstie Alley announces new Weight Loss Program

Called the Peter Paul and Kirstie System, featuring Mounds of candy bars with a Nut.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Obama makes deceiving the American Public top US priority

- says it all

written by Tcoah, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Hopper Divorce War Heats Up as Life Expectancy Cools Down

Attorneys for both sides say they will try to limit billable hours to one half of the estate value.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Triple Header Revelation

Tony Blair was once a Soho District Gigolo Performer to Margaret Thatcher, and Gordon Brown paid to watch.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
Rating:

CIA Report Says Terror Suspects May All be Linked to Humans

and thus all humans should be immediately suspected of being Terrorists.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Governor Shwarznegger Says California May Start Printing Its Own Currency

The new IOU's would bear a portrait of the Governor and be made out of a rubber coated currency paper so they actually "bounce" when dropped in a mail receptacle.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
Rating:

'Obama's Care Package'

More job losses and more small businesses going to the wall.

written by Tcoah, 28 January 2010
Rating:

New Forclosure Alternative Emerging in Southern California

Sell the house only to Mexicans who will disassemble the house in one weekend and take it all to Mexico for rebuilding.
Once gone, just walk away with a fist full of cash.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Kiefer Sutherland Retained by McDonald's to Promote New Burger

Will be pitch man for new "No Beef" vegetarian burger.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
Rating:

O'Bomba: "I never said Change Would be Easy"

Well, buddy, with a Super Majority and the world looking for change, it could never have been easier.

Time to Quit?

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Clinton message to Obama

"Learn to play an instrument. I won my second term as president based only on my SAX appeal!"

written by Xinix Xaxx, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Tomorrow's Forecast

Tomorrow it will be cold. Very cold. Cold enough to freeze a snowman's ass off.

written by Xinix Xaxx, 28 January 2010
Rating:

O'Bomba: "I never suggested change would be easy"

It must be really tough as we haven't seen any.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Chickens protest

A flock of chickens protesting bad jokes, led a protest march, ironically, back and forth across a road.

written by Xinix Xaxx, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Success in genetic engeneering.

A scientist today successfully crossed a lemon and a kitty-cat, creating the definitive sourpuss.

written by Xinix Xaxx, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Republican Response to O'Bomba Speech

Die!, baby, Die!

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Good morning! Here's a sleeping pill.

Mark Lang was in a coma for five years when he woke up, just in time to take his sleeping medicine for the night.

written by Xinix Xaxx, 28 January 2010
Rating:

WWE on Ice

A new show, WWE on Ice puts professional wrestlers to work in the rink.

written by Xinix Xaxx, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Luck...Good or bad?

Two time lottery winner (Over $243,000,000) Jacob Ladder was found dead today after having been struck by lightning twice.

written by Xinix Xaxx, 28 January 2010
Rating:

O'Bomba: "Bank Bailouts a Root Canal"

"But not for the Banks"

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Brown in Northern Ireland for Talks

Now that he's away, can Hadrian's Wall be rebuilt to Keep Him Out of England?

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Repeat Lines in Presidential Speech Prompt Admissions from Dems

There really is no such Person as Barrack O'Bomba, he's a Google Android we bought from Kenya.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
Rating:

O'Bomba Speech: "But Seriously Folks, Its Time to Get Serious"

"There are millions without work and that is serious business, seriously.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
Rating:

O'Bomba to Announce Winner of High Speed Rail Contracts

Post Announcement Party being thrown by Al Gore and Government Motors. New Train to travel upwards of 30 MPH.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Mid Life Crisis Myth According to New Study

The foxy young babes that entice should be invited into a three way and everything will be nice.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Man Longtime Meat Eaters

Cave drawings indicate that man began eating meat 100,000 years ago. Drawing shows figure eating piece of mammoth and saying, "Tastes Like Chicken".

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Main President Makes Speech

Lindsay Lohan says she still believes in Barack Obama "because he's like, the main president, right?"

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

"A-One, A-Two..."

Finally revealed: Lawrence Welk was sickly as a child and lived in a bubble his first 15 years.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Nader Points, Winks

Ralph Nader promises to be a lot more charismatic if he chooses to run in 2012 for White House.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Housing Crisis Hits Many

House crisis leads many identity thieves to sell off other people's houses dirt cheap. "Hardly worth the prison time", states one caught in Florida.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

There's Been An Upset

North Korea'sKim Jung Il surprises everyone with victory over Osama Bin Laden, Hugo Chavez, Fidel Castro and Iran's Alphabet to take Award for World's Craziest Leader!

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Republicans Say Nation Can't Afford Democrat Policies

Nation Says "We Can't Afford Either One"

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Social Science Research: Two Mommies are as Good As Mom & Dad

Tiger Woods Sex Report: Two Mommies are are Way Better than Mom & Dad.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Students Failing History

American students still failing history at school. Many answer that the Taliban attacked Pearl Bailey at Waterloo.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Pushed Beyond Control

The Dalai Lama punches Rosie O'Donnell in the mouth.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Middle East Breakthrough

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has achieved one breakthrough in the Middle East problem. Both Arabs and Jews now hate her more than each other.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Gore Refuses to Return Nobel Prize Despite Fraud Accusations!

An accountant for Gore Inc. says even if he wanted to, his client is freezing his ass off in his Florida Mansion, and burned all the money in the fireplace just to keep his balls from falling off.

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Illinois Man Caught Beating Wife over Spoof Submissions!

When arraigned, the shoeless man said, "If there's one thing I can't stand it's a wife who's SNIPPIER then me...BITCH!" Bail has been set at 6,000 points.

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Amanda Knox Now 'Crazy in Love' with New Cellmate!

Turns out her prosecuter was convicted of fraud on other matters, and sentenced to spend 5 years in the same cell...gives new meaning to the saying
"You've Got Justice by the BALLS!"

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

French Give Up Again!

Burqas now ok in bed...but the mustaches have to go according to Sarkozy!

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Katrina Frog Pond Kisses Bargis Tryhol!

Bargis immediately turned into Jesus Budha who then carried her off to his
'temple of love" An amber alert has been issued.

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Stella Strike Over As Skoob Pledges to Get off the Wagon!

Pissed off strikers faced with redundancy when Skoob stoped drinking, rejoiced today with reports he had a hangover. Skoob says he's moving to Belgium so he'll have less of a commute for his 'work'.

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Earl Gray Thrown off Train in Moscow by Bubuskas at 75mph/ Survives!

The battered UK correspondonet claims he's fine, and says "Just wait, I'll get those C****s next time...this isn't the first I've had my clock cleaned on the pitch by some women with mustaches...!"

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Oprah Confirms She & Stedman are 'off'!

Her new tell all books says Stedman was nothing more than 'a lick and a promise', and she's 'movin' on down' with Gayle since she's never liked Tootsie Rolls anyway.

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Bargis Tryhol Concedes Since Google Cut Him Off He's Lost 6 Inches!

The Spoof's' Long Standing Member' says he's horrified, refuses to go out in public, and book signings for "Life at Moorview Institute" arel off until he regains his manhood. No Omment from Google.

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Google Confirms Ban of All Spoof Contributions!

Google forensic accountant confirms Spoof Editor is running a 1.5M points deficit, and says "stockholders will no longer shouder this unsustainable debt with no visible means of repayment!"

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Joe Wilson responds to Obama's insults to nation

"Not only is he a liar, he's a fucking liar....there I've said it." He also annonced Scott Brown would be his running mate in 2012 and denounced ACORN: "READ MY LIPS...NO MORE NUTS!"

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Obama Breaks Protocol at State of Union Address!

Reading from Rahm Emanuels private notes on the teleprompter, he tells the nation "You're a bunch of fucking retards!"

written by Morse, 28 January 2010
Rating:

In Big Yellow Letters

ABC newsman reporting on snow storm thinking he wasn't on the air yet, pulls huge boner and writes name in snow. Then hastily covers it up.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Think I'll Chance It

The FDA has announced the possible presence of e.coli bacteria in everything that tastes good.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Man I Gotta Go!

Winner of watermelon contest in Florida runs off as soon as he is presented the trophy after dancing all around stage during presentation.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Sorry But We Outnumber You

New book, "How The Death of All Boomers Will Save Social Security" now on Top 5 Burn List.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

New Jimmy Buffet Song

Jimmy Buffet releases new song, "Wasting Away Again At The Obama Beer Conference".

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Surprise In Obama Speech

One big surprise in Obama's State of the Union speech last night: Instead of Czars, leaders will now be called Knights.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Mankind Advances Traced

Discovery of ancient torture rack on wall means that man stood upright 100,000 years sooner than previously thought.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

A Grim Fairy Tale

House Speaker Pelosi & Senate Majority Leader Reid will be inviting Republicans to participate, no bribes will be offered in exchange for supporting legislation and CSAN will be there! Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Noted USA Economist Speaks Out

Mrs. B. Jones of Ohio told Pres. Obama the secret to fiscal responsibility (no deficits) is kitchen table economics. She said "her husband Phil's salary (revenue) determines how much can be spent."

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 January 2010
Rating:

New Presidential Spending Directive

President Obama issued an Executive Order to all far left wing Congressional Democrats. They are to take a dose of Imodium each morning to prevent them spending money we don't have, on unneeded s**t.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Democrats Still Pushing Health Care

House Speaker Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Reid are still trying to pass their version of health care reform. They plan to give the American public a dose of a new drug called SCREWYOUALL!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Deficit Reduction Strategy

President Obama has to do what Willie Sutton advised about robbing banks "go where the pork is," as opposed to saving chump change.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 January 2010
Rating:

AIG Buys US Health Care Industry

AIG has purchased the entire US health care industry and plans to have Timothy Geithner head a huge single payer system. Congressional approval is necessary, leaving Pelosi and Reid speechless.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Possible Power failure

A power shortage and closing opposition TV stations in Caracas Venezuela has electrified the voters to pull the plug on President Hugo Chavez's Congressional supporters.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Noted Philosophers Question Democratic Thinking

Thomas Jefferson, Plato & Aristotle have issued a joint statement concerning the dysfunctional logic of the Democratic far left wing as applied to US economics, health care, energy & foreign policy!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Democratic Train Wreck

Far left Pelosi & Reid missed the message from Massachusetts and contracted the dumb flu as they continue to push health care reform. Some Congressional Democrats see the November train wreck coming!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Big Arms Reduction

Russia: Arms deal with US possible within weeks. Will reduce capability of killing everyone on earth 100 times over to only 75.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Harder To Get

Tobacco companies blame high cost of deadly chemicals for higher cost of cigarettes.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Also Three Janitor Resignations

Last months shit fight at Hanover, Indiana Nursing Facilities lead to seven cases of Hepatitis.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Democrats Vow They Won't Surrender on Healthcare Overahaul

But the White Flag is Waving High.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Can Never Be Too Careful

Cincinnati Airport security guard defends himself saying that he thought the young lady passenger might have bomb hidden under thong panties.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

Boston Schools Get Axed

Two underperforming Boston schools to get the ax, while their parents get the ass, and demand hearings.

written by Bureau, 28 January 2010
Rating:

O'Bomba to Seek Change on Gays in Military

Out with "don't ask, don't tell".

The new policy is "Don't Eye Your Buddy's Fly and Don't Ever Bend Over."

written by Richard DagNabbit, 28 January 2010
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