Order by:
Rating:

Either you give me that drink......

Roman Abramovich = Or I'm Barman Havoc

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Delusions of majesty?

Roman Abramovich = Bravo I'm A Monarch

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Mother's quite good on the old mouth organ!

Roman Abramovich = Bravo Harmonic Ma

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

IVF gang amulet?

Roman Abramovich = Ovarian Mob Charm

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Dodgy family stuff going on?

Winter Olympics = Imply Incest Row

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Cunning kinda lobotomy

Winter Olympics = Wily Cretinism Op

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

How to Make Obama

Add two tablespoons of snow to 2 fluid ounces of Armageddon. Mix and place in a freezer for 30 mins. Out pops President Obama - unless he's at a behind-closed doors meeting.

written by Tcoah, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Breastroke for fatties?

Winter Olympics = Nice Portly Swim

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Obama's Health Care Plan Renamed

SNOWMAGEDDON

written by Tcoah, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Viagra-sponsored slalom?

Winter Olympics = Impotency Swirl

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

"SNOWMAGEDDON"

Drinks Bar on DC's DuPont Circle renames itself "SNOWMAGEDDON" - hopes to take Boston's "Cheers" crown.

written by Tcoah, 07 February 2010
Rating:

SNOWMAGEDDON

Be Afriad - as opposed to "VERY Afraid".

written by Tcoah, 07 February 2010
Rating:

SNOWMAGEDDON

"End of Time or a spine chilling tail to tell future offspring over a cup of hot chocolate in front of a fire place in coldest darkest winter?"

written by Tcoah, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Shagging off-piste?

Winter Olympics = Wily Incest Romp

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Washington, DC - airports, train-stations closed ...

"U can check out any time you like, but you can never leave." (Quote from "Hotel California" by the Eagles).

written by Tcoah, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Washington, DC's "snowmageddon"

related to T-Rex.

written by Tcoah, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Plumber touting for business?

Antiques Roadshow = Shows A Drain Quote

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Pig in a poke?

Antiques Roadshow = Question A Hard Sow

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Her silent partner?

Antiques Roadshow = Nora's Quiet Shadow

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Hidden glittery stuff

Antiques Roadshow = Stow A Sequin Hoard

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Looking for a new style

Antiques Roadshow = Now A Hairdos Quest

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Copenhagen climate summit cited

Antiques Roadshow = Quotes A Danish Row

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Argument about old stuff

Antiques Roadshow = Had A Questions Row

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

One West End parking ticket too many

Antiques ERoadshow = A Soho Warden Quits

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Golfing drama

Antiques Roadshow = Squashed A Two Iron

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Year of the Cow

Year of the Tiger = Target Yo Heifer

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Southwest Jalapeno Farmer Produces Protective Spray for Chickens on the Run

"FoxBuster" a Jalapeno extract based spray that can be used by not just one chicken, but groups of the cacklers all at once. The spray is applied as a rear end covering.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 February 2010
Rating:

No Threat to the Royal Navy

Year of the Tiger = Toy Frigate Here

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Large table booked

Year of the Tiger = Eight For Eatery

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Something disgusting on the stage?

Yeasr of the Tiger = Fie, Theatre Orgy

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Just kidding!

year of the Tiger = There, Fiery Goat!

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Enemy of tradition?

Year of the Tiger = Try Heritage Foe

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Plumage knots blamed

Year of the Tiger = Feather Tie Orgy

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Until 2020 it will keep its original name

Year of the Tiger = Thereafter Yogi

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Crack Emerges as Tea Party Convenes

Tea ran out early, crack used by many as Palin speech begins.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Danica Has Scare in Debut

Almost loses her $ 2M Appearance fee check.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Great Dancing Neanderthals!

Computer model of Neanderthal hand shows equal dexterity with modern man. "They could have done the Hand Jive with 'Way-Out Willie'!"

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

You Mean That Michael Jackson Kid?

At the Casino Hotel in Cherokee, North Carolina yesterday, Chief "One-Armed Bandit" apologizes for bedbugs in rooms. "You give us blankets with Smallpox."

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Sumpreme Court Gay Marriage Ruling

The Supreme Court to make final ruling on gay marriages just as soon as justices David Souter and Clarence Thomas get back from their honeymoon.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Carrie Underwood Gets to Meet Super Bowl Players Personally

Visited each and every one in their hotel rooms last night. Players whooped.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Multiple partners?

Chinese New year = Yea, he screw nine

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

#5 Already Campaigning

President Barack Obama is the fourth president in a row to receive the Darwin Award.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Scavenger's lavatory?

Chinese New Year = Nice Hyena Sewer

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Quite A Show!

Barack Obama embarrasses Michelle and her mother at Super Bowl Party as he falls on the floor and holds his breath until he turns blue, over not getting health care bill.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Year of the Dog?

Chinese New Year = Yes! Canine? Where?

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Why China Doesn't Follow U.S.'s Lead

Not on Israel's short leash.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Sage wishes it was the Year of the Rooster!

Chinese New Year = Wiseacre Hen Yen

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

"Give Me An F!"

Country Joe McDonald and the Fish reunite to create a new dance called, "It Was The The Lobster Mash"

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Beijing aunt's kids all over the place?

Chionese New Year = Nieces Anywhere

written by queen mudder, 07 February 2010
Rating:

"What's That Spell?"

Country Joe McDonald and the Fish reunite to do new version of old favorite, "Who Knows Whale Or When"

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Russian Research Institute Says "Russia Primitive, Putin Sucks"

Putin Responds to Research Institute Head:

"Accordingly, your grave will be a primitive one."

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Fish Are Back

Country Joe McDonald and the Fish reunite to do new version of "I'm A Sole Man!"

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

New Security Measure

New machines capable of soul recognition being installed at most airports.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Obama Issues New Orders

President Obama warns that war may heat up in Afghanistan. Orders all embedded weathermen to leave.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Cheney Warns Obama

Former VP Dick Cheney once again admonishes President about the army. "They need to be in an oil country like Iraq, not Afghanistan, you big Dipstick!"

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Alastair Campbell Comes Out of Closet

Announces he and Tony Blair have been giving each other quickies for years.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 February 2010
Rating:

O'Reilly Converts

Bill O'Reilly converts to the Whirling Dervishes after finally learn to spin.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Man Sues Hospital

Hospital mistakenly removes patient's mojo. Plans to sue after wife, friends leave him.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

"I'm Still Here!"

Osama Bin Laden makes surprise commercial for the Super Bowl.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Superbowl XLIV

Almost as nerve shreddingly exciting as Stockport County v Accrington Stanley on a wet Wednesday night in November. Almost...

written by Skoob1999, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend

Superbowl victors receive diamond rings. Not medals. And they have the nerve to describe real football as "gay"

written by Skoob1999, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Touchdown!

And the UK is TOTALLY underwhelmed...

written by Skoob1999, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Superbowl Getting Really Interesting

That is, providing you believe all the overblown hype.

written by Skoob1999, 07 February 2010
Rating:

John Terry gives his wife chocolates Terrys All Gold

John Terry gives wife chocs Terrys All Gold
While Terrys wife decides to sell all her Gold

written by SPECTRUM, 07 February 2010
Rating:

"And Then Hee Hee, You Shot ME!"

US FBI agent arrests CIA agent trying to arrest him. Two have a laugh, head for hospital.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Can't Get Here Anyway

'Snowmageddon' brings chaos to U.S. East Coast as Washington DC braces itself for worst blizzard in 90 years. Al Gore NOT invited to Super Bowl party.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

France May Be Right

Armed robbers disguised in burkhas carry out £4,000 raid! French: See! No burkhas!

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

New NHS Rule

Headmistress goes back to school...7 hours after giving birth. Screams at students.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Lakers Win Without Bryant

Bryant out but Lakers beat the blazes out of the Blazers 99-82.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Nine New Members

Smith, Rice, Tareq and Michaele Salahi, lead nine new members into Footballs Hall Of Fame!

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Sheen Is Innocent

Police: Sheen vehicle stolen, crashed in ravine. Sheen proves he wasn't driving, shows police ticket for drunk driving his other car at the right time. "Can't be at two places at once", claims Sheen.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Pika Boo!

Feds: Status of pika will still need watching. "What's a pika?"

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Antartic Stand-Off

Whalers, activists clash again off Antarctica. Whale whisperer say whales laughing their barnacles off.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

NASA Watching India

India successfully tests nuclear-capable missile. NASA may outsource some shuttle flights.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

India's Launch Successful

India successfully tests nuclear-capable missile that misses the ocean. Korea's Kim Pissed.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Toyota Seeing Long Lines

Toyota drivers pull in for repair; Prius fix looms next. "We'll be boockkk!"

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Pleased As Punch

Obama seeks to rally glum Dems amid GOP challenges by putting Zoloft into punch at Super Bowl Party.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Obama Seeking Dems To Rally

Obama seeks to rally glum Dems amid GOP challenges, brings in strippers to Super Bowl Party.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Jacko's Doc did it, but only for "humanitarian" reasons!

Doc Murray did actually give Michael an overdose but he pleads not guilty because, just like shooting a wounded horse, he only wanted to put Jacko out of his misery!

written by Jaggedone, 07 February 2010
Rating:

News From The (Blueberry) Hill!

Fats Domino replaces Nagin as New Orleans mayor. "I've found my thrill", says old rocker.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Clouds Delay Launch

Clouds that force space launch delay turns out to be from grills that came from Super Bowl party started early. Ship will be launched Monday.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Gates After Iran

Gates says it's not too late for Iran sanctions. Threatens to turn single soldiers loose on 72 virgins!

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Radical Tea-Stirs

Sarah Palin assails Obama at 'tea party' gathering, with the more radicals screaming, "Off with their heads!"

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Two Party System At Work

Sarah Palin assails Obama at 'tea party' gathering. Looks like it might come down to "Tea Party" vs "Beer Conference" in 2012.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Tea Partiers Need Plac To Pee

Sarah Palin assails Obama at 'tea party' gathering. Only few complaints, mostly about there not being enough port-a-potties to get rid of the tea.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Tea Party Went Well

Sarah Palin assails Obama at 'tea party' gathering. "We're mad as hatters and we're not going to take it anymore!"

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Tea Party Protester Thrown Out

Sarah Palin assails Obama at 'tea party' gathering. Obama supporter thrown out that kept yelling "Treacle!"

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Weak Trembles

Likelihood of New Madrid quake causes controversy, the weak tremors.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

City Owes Firefighters

City could owe firefighters more than $1M. May hold a huge fire sale.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Smirnoff On Super Bowl

"Dancing with the Stars'" Karina Smirnoff said Saturday she won't reveal who she wants to win the Super Bowl because she doesn't know who is going to be on the show next season, nor who's playing."

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Haitian Lawyer Fired

Haitian lawyer for jailed US missionaries fired. Fire put out quickly as he blames voodoo chief.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Super Bowl At White House

Super Bowl Sunday at the White House! "And while you're all here, I'd like to discuss my health care plan. Pass the chips."

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

You Are Out!

La. lt. gov. replaces Nagin as New Orleans mayor. Nagin: "Say what?"

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Epic Buzzard?

Mid-Atlantic plows, digs out an epic buzzard. I'm sorry, that should be "digs out of epic blizzard."

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Dinosaur Footprints

Thousands of dinosaur footprints uncovered in China. Army and police immediately on their trail with bloodhounds.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Palin Bashes Obama

Sarah Palin assails Obama at 'tea party' gathering. "That's what he gets from showing up here!"

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Action By Japan

Toyota to announce action soon for Prius hybrids. "Shouldn't be too many fatalities until then."

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Another Illinois Dem Revealed as Criminal Deadbeat

Scott Cohen, formerly a Pawnbroker, now Lt. Governor says he never held a knife to his girlfriend's throat and she wasn't a prostitute while working for ACORN.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Debt Crisis Unsettles Euopean Economy

No problem. Just borrow another $ 2T like the US , then we can swap the notes twice at a 50% discount and POOF! 75% of the debt is gone!

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Afghan Police Commander Arrested on Corruption Charges

Pleads "Not Guilty" because payoffs from the CIA aren't bribes, he's oficially on their payroll as well.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 February 2010
Rating:

O'Bomba Says His Party is Despondent ; Dazed & Confused

Orders all Dems to begin taking Prozac; Prepares new Speech, "GOP Policies We Can Believe In"

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Jerry Rice and Emmitt Smith Elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame

Terrific contestants on "Dancing with the Stars," they are now busy preparing their acceptance dances for the Hall of Fame induction ceremony to be held in Canton on Aug. 7.

written by Gail Farrelly, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Snow paralyzes Wash., D. C.

But it's not the only thing paralyzing the U.S. capital.

written by Gail Farrelly, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Former VP Candidate John Edwards

has an X-file.

written by Tcoah, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Alien Nations have "behind closed doors" meeting

in the White House - contrary to President Obama's stated goal of more open government.

written by Tcoah, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Gordon Brown's mum made lots of Rhubarb Pie using

aluminum pots instead of aluminium pots.

written by Tcoah, 07 February 2010
Rating:

New Chinse Super-Weapon challenges Nuke Dominance

Chinese invent "cold weapon" - test fires it on Eastern Seaboard - Washington, DC cut-off from the world.

written by Tcoah, 07 February 2010
Rating:

"Weather Weapon" beamed on Washington DC

Snow everywhere, snowball fights on DuPont Circle, skiing along Pennsylvania Avenue, and President Obama stuck in the White House - literally. Pentagon: "snowed in".

written by Tcoah, 07 February 2010
Rating:

"The Facebook Wars"

nothing to do with "The Amtrak Wars" by Patrick Tiley

written by Tcoah, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Climate Scientist Phil Jones reveals that he was so traumatised by the backlash against him that he considered

mowing his front lawn.

written by Tcoah, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Palin to Whitehouse: "You Better Start Listening"

O'Bomba: "Well Nancy, are we ready for a Vote on my O'BombaCare Bill yet?"

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 February 2010
Rating:

12 Year Old NYC Junior High School Girls Arrested for doodling

Taken away in handcuffs by large cops.

Arresting Officers Names were Gary Sextant and Kid Glitter.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Susan Boyle Ugly

A top researcher at the center for Disgusting Things has revealed his latest findings, which prove conclusively that Susan Boyle is uglier than a bag of smashed assholes.

written by Daniel Bristol, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Oprah Laid Back

Oprah just doesn't care much for appearance since announcing the program's ending. Forgot her wig yesterday, bald as an eagle.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Peyote Conference

President Obama to go to Indian tribes this summer and apologize for taking everything they had and killing most of them off. Should be quite a speech.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Osama Matches Offer

In his latest video, Osama Bin Laden offers to match any reward money the US is offering anyone who finds him. "Plus you'll still keep your head."

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Penis Breakthrough

Scientific breakthrough allows human fat to be recycled to other areas. Get ready for the bigger penis e-mails.

written by Bureau, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Man dies

A man who was shot nine times in the chest but refused treatment died today.

written by Daniel Bristol, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Teen Prostitutes Flocking to Super Bowl

Bigger crowds without tickets expected.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Obama Asks About the Bird

President Obama held a Press Conference today to ask if Americans "had, indeed, hear about the Bird?"

written by Daniel Bristol, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Palin: America Ready for Another Revolution

Lets' see... headed by Republican Presidential Nominee Sarah Palin!

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 February 2010
Rating:

O'Bomba Tries to Rally Remaining Party Faithful

All half dozen of them

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 February 2010
Rating:

Emma Watson - English Rose

Each petal worth a "Cool Luke".

written by Tcoah, 07 February 2010
« Jan 2010 February 2010 Mar 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
1st
86
2nd
147
3rd
172
4th
155
5th
154
6th
142
7th
123
8th
109
9th
183
10th
146
11th
0
12th
163
13th
115
14th
136
15th
133
16th
93
17th
180
18th
185
19th
183
20th
211
21st
121
22nd
99
23rd
134
24th
166
25th
99
26th
113
27th
109
28th
150

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