Order by:
Rating:

Risk to Tossers

Tossing pancakes poses more of a health risk than turning them with a spatula, according to the University of Jutland. "It is safer not to be a tosser", advises Professor Jens Convolvulus.

written by Erskin Quint, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Gas Fume Danger

Gas hobs produce more toxic fumes than electric cookers, according to a study by The University of Jutland. "Gas hobs emit more particles in the breathing zone", claimed Professor Jens Convolvulus.

written by Erskin Quint, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Butterflies More Nutritious Than Beef - Aussie Jungle Spin Off

Scottish Biofoods Ltd are set to launch a mega nutritious butterfly range of food stuffs including Thorax Pies, Butterfly Caviar, Caterpillar Pud and genetically modified Tartan Butterfly Wing Cakes.

written by iscrivener, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Post BODLM (Barack Obama/Dalai Lama Meeting)

China moves wormhole weaponry to 'enhanced status' - "We will fry the Yankee nuts and serve them with mock liver and macaroni cheese with hot mustard."

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Happiness Cure

Happiness is the best antidote to depression, a study at The University of Whitley Bay reports. "We found an inverse relationship between happiness and depression", said Professor Maude Ross.

written by Erskin Quint, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Good Health is Key

Being healthy can keep heart disease at bay, a study has found. Researchers at the University of Todmorden discovered that healthy people were significantly less likely to get heart disease.

written by Erskin Quint, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Posh OKs Zero-Sized Model Girls

Victoria Beckham reckons zero-sized models needn't feel big-style shame. "They've nothing to be ashamed of. Literally", claimed the famous stick insect yesterday.

written by Erskin Quint, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Bishop Discovered in Roll of Linoleum

Ivor Cilliname, 43, of Pontyllyffsandwyddndrod Wells, got a shock yesterday when he unrolled some old lino. "The Bishop of Gravesend was in there", he said. "I didn't expect him to roll up!"

written by Erskin Quint, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Fringe To Support Local Talent

Heading this season's Edinburgh Fringe will include local acts from up and coming comediennes Bella and Donna Fitzgerald, Joy "Clubby" Clown and the effervescent Ali Seltzer!

written by iscrivener, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Street's Lesbian - Webster/Powers Storyline - Step Too Far!

After 50 years, ITV is to "pull the plug" on Coronation Street following allegations of the show's writers using their storylines to undermine consecutive UK governments moral stances since the 60's.

written by iscrivener, 18 February 2010
Rating:

BNP Not "Snake Lovers"

The BNP don't like exotic reptiles, it was claimed yesterday by key party activist Nick Gorgon. "We are allowing black members, not mambas", he told reporters at a Ku Klux Klan rally in Eastbourne.

written by Erskin Quint, 18 February 2010
Rating:

"Not That Kind of Black Member" says BNP Man

BNP leaders don't like to be buggered by black men BNP activist Ronald 'Ron' Ribbentrop insisted yesterday. "We'll admit black party members, not black virile members", the neo Nazi asserted.

written by Erskin Quint, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Doggy Style To Save Endies?

SFL Montrose are to sign certified soccer coach Snoop Dogg in their fight against relegation into the HFL. Dogg takes up his dogging position in early May. Endie girls are juiced up for his arrival.

written by iscrivener, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Cheryl Cole's Brave Face

Love-rat victim Cheryl Cole put on a brave face as she jetted from Heathrow to Los Angeles yesterday. "She looks much better like that", said a watching idiot; "a bit like Pocahontas in fact."

written by Erskin Quint, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Tougher Than McGruff

The UN nuclear watchdog, McEnuff, has expressed concern that Iran may currently be trying to develop a nuclear payload for a missile.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Enders Shock To National TV

English soap Eastenders is set to fold after 25 years. The fall in ratings has prompted the BBC to look at serious alternatives including River City, Machair and Echo Beach from BBC Scotland.

written by iscrivener, 18 February 2010
Rating:

OAPs lose their haunted fishtanks

Sylvester Stallone = Veterans Telly Loss

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

David Cameron is his vassal?

Sylvester Stallone = Tells: "Enslaves Tory"

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Pat Robertson in the frame, here

Sylvester Stallone = Rev's Nosy Telltales

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Crafty Pay-As-You-Go road bridge worshipped

Sylvester Stallone = Venerates Sly Tolls

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Pilgrim Fathers - what a mess!

Sylvester Stallone = Slovenly As Settlers

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

No trip for Blair!

Sylverster Stallone = Travels Tonelessly

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Lobotomy needed

Robert Pattinson = Stop Rotten Brain

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Elevated to Lords for services to debauchery?

Robert Pattinson = Tits Porn Baronet

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

M'Lud's winter warmer?

Robert Pattinson = Baronet's Pint Rot

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

WHO To Review Status

WHO to review H1N1 pandemic status on Feb 23. "May as well. No one asking us to play anywhere", notes Roger Daltrey.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

All that smut does his head in

Robert Pattinson = Brattiest On Porn

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Should have worn sandals

Robert Pattinson = Bootstrap Intern

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

I blame the celibacy!

Robert Pattinson = Abstinent Torpor

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Baring it all

Kristen Stewart = New Starkers Tit

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

New script needed

Kristen Stewart = Tasks Rewritten


written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Odor Eaters beware

Kristen Stewart = Stinker Swatter

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Idlers' bauble...

Kristen Stewart = Wasters' Trinket

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

The Ice Queen?

Kristen Stewart = Starkest Winter

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Doherty - Latest Rent Career News

Fallen star, singer song writer Pete Doherty has taken a second job as a legalised rent boy. Doherty starts his collection round for Northumberland County Council in early March.

written by iscrivener, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Royals Relocation Location Unveiled

The Royal Family are quitting the UK for India. In the opposite direction comes the Rama Lama's Ding Dong Call Centre Co. who are setting up their Euro opps at the Palace.

written by iscrivener, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Exxon-Valdez beware!

Kristen Stewart = Tankers Twister

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Knock Off Wood In New Sex Scandal

The Stones Ronnie Wood is buying a condo in Louisiana so he can marry his 13 year old girlfriend. Wood says "she's 13, she's tight, she's beautiful, mine, my livin' doll." Townshend is set to follow.

written by iscrivener, 18 February 2010
Rating:

2010 Gold Rush Set For Take Off

Scottish tourism is set for a bumper year as more people "stay at home" this summer, attracted by the prospect of becoming very rich from panning for gold in the Rivers Spey, Tay and Awe.

written by iscrivener, 18 February 2010
Rating:

What Are The Odds?

Las Vegas Mayor rejects Obama invitation to White House. Says he smells nationalizing of casinos.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Not That Lucky

Scientists predict that an asteroid recently spotted has a one in 250 chance of hitting the earth. On the plus side, it just could hit Washington DC.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Poorer By The Minute

Republicans in the House of Representatives say that if Obama keeps spending like he is, they'll change name to the Poor House of Representatives.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Arkansas #59

Arkansas residence say they will quit boarding up windows and doors every time there's a possible tornado watch. Houses have thousands of nail holes.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Just Because We Can

Democrat controlled House kills Republican health overhaul bill, passed one that called for the GOP to change name to "The Goofy Party", 60-40.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

New Ticketing System For Britain's Railways

First Class for the rich, Standard Class for the majority and No Class for Politicians

written by Earl Grey, 18 February 2010
Rating:

New Harry Potter Film Released

Harry Potter And The Room Full Of Lawyers

written by Earl Grey, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Israel Claims Gold In The Shooting

Hit target every time.

written by Earl Grey, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Portsmouth FC To Sell Stars

Obviously they need to borrow some money to buy some first.

written by Earl Grey, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Meeting Delayed

Akio Toyoda, president of the Toyota Motors Company was scheduled to meet President Obama today but only got to wave as car tore by at over 100 MPH.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

McDonalds To Create International McMenu

You've just bought McRocky Mountain Oysters. You want fries with that?

written by Jalapenoman, 18 February 2010
Rating:

McDonalds To Create International McMenu

McSquid and McSushi expected to outsell Filet of Fish in Japanese locations

written by Jalapenoman, 18 February 2010
Rating:

McDonalds To Create International McMenu

McPizza will not use thousand island dressing as its special sauce.

written by Jalapenoman, 18 February 2010
Rating:

McDonalds To Create International McMenu

McCurry to be served in nations where they can't put McBeef on Big Macs.

written by Jalapenoman, 18 February 2010
Rating:

McDonalds To Create International McMenu

McHaggis is expected to only be popular in the British Isles

written by Jalapenoman, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Probably Guy Inside Also

Scientists say that an average size meteorite that hit the earth could destroy a Hummer.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

"Well, Look Who's Here!"

Patrick Stewart and several of the crew from 'Star Trek, The Next Generation' pay surprise visit to space station, shuttle.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Bush Wanted A Son!

Former President George W. Bush stated today that if he had had a son, he would have liked for him to stay out of politics altogether and maybe become a nuckular physicist!

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Nader Blunders?

Friends of Ralph Nader say he has a hard time recalling things of late, totally missing the Toyota & Honda problems. "He's been testing condoms for 2 years, using air pumps", says friend."

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Spam In Polynesia

Polynesian women are complaining about getting dozens of spam messages on the internet daily promising to stretch hole in their ears another two inches.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Neither, Thank You

Poll shows that most people approve of smokeless tobacco at least until person can shake the habit. Also, big brown French kiss better than getting your lip burned.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Gore Shows He CAN Move Quickly

Man from the "Common Sense Against Global Warming" group arrested after he delayed Al Gore's speech last night by giving him a hotfoot as he got up to go to the lectern.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

UK Fan Martin Shuttlecock breaks down after learning Cheryl Cole is a Deaf Mute!

"tell me it ain't true," moaned the dedicated fan upon learning the Cole Mania /Hysteria was a fantasy cooked up by publisist Max Clifford. Max said the idea was from studying Michelle Obama on TV.

written by Morse, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Change In Golden Globes

The latest rumor around Hollywood is that the name of the Golden Globes may be changed to the Mouthy Melons.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

New Leader's Orders

Taliban fighters are ordered to fight to the finish against US and Afghan troops or half of their virgins will be taken away.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Goverment Motors (GM) Pledges to Hire Biden after 2012 Election Defeat!

Claims manufactured 'Crash Dummies' costing government 'too much money!'

written by Morse, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Obama Bans Ashley and Cheryl from US

The President stated: Read my Fat Lips...there will be no more Coal consumption in the US....look what it did to the UK and the EU. F******g Retards!

written by Morse, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Gore Confesses to Affliction Causing Methane Gas Eruptions!

Gas Bag blames it all on addiction to Ethanol, a nubile staffer, and creamed corn.

written by Morse, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Welsh Assembly Minister can't organize a 'Piss-up in a brewery'

Jane Hutt, Minister for Budget and Business red faced after being told she didn't have permission to hold a press conference in a business car park

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Chinese 'big-stick' knackered

worm-out their worm-hole gun - - - - but China has another one

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

She's really warm blooded!

Brigitte Bardot = Ribbed Gator Tit

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Time Traveler?

Suspected Heathrow warehouse armed robber goes on the run after vanishing from court. "One minute he was sitting there and the next moment he was gone", says witness Wells.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Chinese blamegame/2

Brigitte Bardot = Bitter Triad Gob

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Blame the Chinese!

Brigitte Bardot = Bitter Triad Bog

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Fancy barbecue

Brigitte Bardot = Bit Garotted Rib

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Painting Landscapes Tip:

Use green, and plenty of it.

written by Skoob1999, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Disgusting!

Brigitte Bardot = Abort Bidet Grit

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

To "WAG" or WAG ?

Come to the dark side: Welsh Assembly Government

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Just think of it

a Wales actually governed well

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

If you can think straight or are a 'straight shooter'

there's no job for you in the Welsh Assembly.

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

More filth!

Brigitte Bardot = Battier Gob Dirt

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

There are lies, damned lies and the Welsh Assembly Government

"We are delivering maximum front line benefits to the Welsh population".

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

A massive leap ... backwards

Discovers "God Particle" - a freeze dried particle of Glucose OxiDase

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Hates Brangelina!

Brigitte Bardot = Brad Titbit Ogre

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Welsh Assembly Government

delivers lowest Welsh economy since Welsh words were discovered

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Hydrophobia/2

Brigitte Bardot = Rabid Gob Titter

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

David Cameron in 'dart incident'

dart bounced back to hit him in the groan. Fears that he has lost his manhood to a game of darts.

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Tracey Emin's Latest Piece A Turn Off For Art Lovers

'Dysentry Stricken Somalian's Blocked Toilet' not as popular as was hoped. No bids yet.

written by Skoob1999, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Hydrophobia/1

Brigitte Bardot = Rabid Got Bitter

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

"Duke of York" downs 50 Tequilas

in 50 minutes in 50 ways to celeb his 50th birthday

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Are You Tough Enough?

Latest fad among English gangs is going to the pub for dart catching.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Blame it on Federer?

Brigitte Bardot = Roger Bad Titbit

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

"It's a Recession you Idiot"

as opposed to "It's the economy you Idiot" or "its jobs jobs jobs u numbskull"

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Court Taking The Word Of A Mouse?

£70,000 benefits cheats snared when investigators find holiday snaps of them posing with Mickey Mouse. Mickey agrees to testify.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Filthy nuzzler...

Brigitte Bardot = Rabbit Gored Tit

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

UK Recession - double dip, triple whammy ...

let's just call it a 'bouncing ball'

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

UK government caught cloning Welsh 'passports'

Fake rugby tickets

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Almighty laugh?

Brigite Bardot = Rabbi God Titter

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

True grit?

Brigitte Bardot = Rabbi Toted Grit

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

First Class Ass

'People in standard class are totally different': Veteran Tory Sir Nicholas Winterton on why MPs should be able to travel first class. They belong on the arse end of the plane.


written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Welsh Technology promoted by International Business Wales

Ultra-sound scanners the size of a 'British' minicar

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Conservative Party Policy

Champagne, caviar, balloons, party poppers, amyl nitrate.

written by Skoob1999, 18 February 2010
Rating:

"Scientists develop new plastic made from sugar that breaks down very fast"

only to discover that Toyota already invented it

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Hands off!

Brigitte Bardot = Trio Grabbed Tit

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

What Women Want

What women want in 2010: A husband who'll breed her. I'm sorry, that should "be the main breadwinner!"

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Sex World Cup Result

Masochist beaten into second place.

written by Skoob1999, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Ain't nothin but a hound dog!

Miley Cyrus = Ye Slimy Cur

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

"Fat Little Girl"

Mother's fury as nanny state brands her healthy daughter, 5, 'fat and at risk of heart disease'. "I'll give someone a fat lip if they come here."

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Kinda litigious!

Miley Cyrus = Sue My Lyrics

written by queen mudder, 18 February 2010
Rating:

US bank lending falls at fastest rate in history

So Obama's stimulus package is working 'just dandy'

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Guy travelling at 190mph on his motorbike

dies in freak accident

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

World's Oldest Paperboy A Lazy Bastard

"He missed our house out one day in 1963," grumbles disgruntled customer.

written by Skoob1999, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Dog Survives 300 Foot Cliff Fall

Thought for a minute it was really a lemming.

written by Skoob1999, 18 February 2010
Rating:

"Kabuki Play" or are 'We are going to let your ass fry' ?

'EU refuses to reveal details of how it might help Greece raise €30bn (£26bn)'

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Gay Man Wins Holiday Under Canvas

Apparently he really enjoys camping it up.

written by Skoob1999, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Gordon Brown would like you to believe his government is doing a swanky job

"Britain posts first deficit for January since records began."

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Sumo Wrestler Jailed

"Pie shop raid was premeditated," says prosecutor.

written by Skoob1999, 18 February 2010
Rating:

"Economic Suzerainty"

'That's Greece for you'

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Scars Finally Healed

Tiger Woods to end months of silence on Friday, won't even take his Beano that morning.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Humana Cuts 2500 Positions

Health insurer Humana plans to cut 2,500 positions. Point out they still approve of over 1,000 in Kuma Sartra.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Witness Claimed He'd Warned Of Accident

"The accident was just an accident waiting to happen," he said.

written by Skoob1999, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Old King Cole.....

Was a merry old soul and he text to his fiddlers three "I'm in the room next to J.T. so keep it quiet and don't tell my wife"

written by Earl Grey, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Bad Sleeping Habits

Clinton: Lack of sleep added to health problem, sleeping beside icicle has kept him awake for hours.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

UK To Standardise Weather Reports To A Single Word

Changeable

written by Skoob1999, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Lack Of Sleep

Clinton: Lack of sleep added to health problem. Doctors blame unfamiliar beds.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

X Files Made Public

Many people report spotting X's

written by Skoob1999, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Admits Using Misleading Data?

APNewsBreak: Top UN climate official resigns right after his "Is It Hot In Here Or Is It Me Making It All Up?" speech.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Astronauts Favored By Obama Call

Astronauts take call from admiring President Obama, as President watches himself in the mirror while talking to astronauts on shuttle.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Fewer Crashes!

Fewer airline crashes in 2009, but more deaths as one Indian plane with 2200 passengers never got off the ground.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Tiger Woods Apology - The Full Transcript

"D'oh!"

written by Skoob1999, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Some Go Unnoticed Until Reminded To Buckle Up!

Fewer airline crashes in 2009, but more deaths as over 1,000 die of old age while waiting for plane to take off.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Peter Kay And Liam Gallagher In Furious Twitter Exchange

"Knob head" "Fat bastard" "Knob head" "Fat bastard" "Knob head" "Fat bastard" "Knob head" "Fat bastard" etc.

written by Skoob1999, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Bewildered 96 Year Old Finds New Home

Signs up as a writer for TheSpoof.com

written by Skoob1999, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Another Virus Outbreak

Virus has breached 75,000 computers: study. Public urged to bring in laptops for anti virus shots.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Israeli's Issue Statement Over Dubai Hit

"It is raining right now in London," says ambassador.

written by Skoob1999, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Watch For Virus

Virus has breached 75,000 computers: study shows nyah. Nyah! Nyah! poot poot poot poot!

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Some Blow-Out!

Mardi Gras closes in style as most party goers go home naked and drunk.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

No Thanks Required

Study: Happiness makes for a healthy heart and readers of TheSpoof may live to be 100.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Which Came First?

Harry Potter' author hit with plagiarism lawsuit from writer of 'Hairy Pooter' stories in Mad Magazine.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

"Check The Litter Box, Cheech!"

Cops: Imitation pot as bad as the real thing. If synthetic compound chemically similar to THC used, you can get high from smoking a cat turd, say officers.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Good/Bad Cop

Cops: Imitation pot as bad as the real thing. Or as good, according to how you look at it.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Pot Placebo?

Cops: Imitation pot as bad as the real thing, as smokers reach imitation highs off smoking in pipes.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Whalers/Activists Clash Again

Whalers, activists clash again in Antarctic waters. Both say they're having a whale of a time.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

US Investigates Corolla

AP source: US govt to investigate Toyota Corolla. Orders Government Motors to take Japanese Built models apart and see where the technology...that is, trouble is coming from.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Obama Meets Lama

The Dalai Lama's meeting with President Barack Obama will be more about style than substance. "Why not place health care on two stone tablets & carry to speeches?"

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Lama Meets Obama

The Dalai Lama's meeting with President Barack Obama will be more about style than substance. "With nose into air all the time, you should wear robe", states Dalai Lama.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Clinton Divorce Said to be Looming!

Bill claims irreconcilable differences: "She Couldn't Stand my Cigar!"

written by Morse, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Ralph Nader Publishes New Unauthorized Biography on Joe Biden

"Unsafe at Any Speed II" is set to go on sale Friday following appearances on Oprah, Larry King, "Pinks", "Pimp my Ride" "CSI Washington" and The Speed Channel.

written by Morse, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Danica Patrick Meets Joe Biden at White House

The two were said to have a lot in common having survived several high speed crashes in recent months. Both compared their choices of racingfloor mats,
and decided to drive barefoot from now on.

written by Morse, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Mod UFO records released can chocolate fly

MOD UFO records that have been released tell of a UFO shaped like a toblerone but others say chocolate can't fly it was more likely to be an AEROPLANE

written by SPECTRUM, 18 February 2010
Rating:

"British Government Climate change department sends staff on hundreds of domestic flights"

"Can't make this stuff up!"

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Al Gore - muppet

wants to join Slithering House in Harry Potter's Hogwarts. His mother supports the move, "My son is feeling very sheepish following record snowdumps - 'snowmania' has got to him."

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Obama's meeting with the Dalai Lama has China "pissed"

China warns of "serious damage" - meaning: we are going to zonk you arrogant yankees with our 'big-stick' weapon: our worm-hole generator gun. "Just you see."

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

"E,LO" nothing to do with

ELO

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

DVO?

Denise Van Outen pregnant with Charlotte Church is replaced by LOST impersonator of recently deceased John Lock, 'black smoke' or 'the monster'. Confused? So r most LOST fans.

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Conservative MP concludes: Obama is One Crazy Mutha!

Politicians in the United Kingdom have completed a four-month study of American President Barak Obama. A Conservative MP speaking on behalf of the House of Lords today said, "Damn! That Mutha CRAZY!"

written by Daniel Bristol, 18 February 2010
Rating:

"So what's new?"

"Another Japanese Car Recall - Another Guardian"

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

President Obama Grounded

Washington sources close to Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi have said that she blames the Obama's Lack of Cooperation for the sluggish economy. The President will therefore be grounded. No more TV.

written by Daniel Bristol, 18 February 2010
Rating:

A Woman in love with her ass?

Apparently she has earned critical acclaim in "A Midsummer Night's Dream" - if she stars in "A Dream in Deepest Darkest Midwinter" would her love 'deviate' to another part of her very fine anatomy?

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

'Catch 22 Upgrade'

Catch 23

written by Tcoah, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Not Just Highlights From Staff

After retirement, Oprah says she plans to finally read all those super books she has been recommending to her audiences.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

The Kirstie Plan

After retirement, Oprah says she plans hibernate for three months and then eat 5,000 calories a day the other nine months.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Oprah On The Move

After retirement, Oprah says she plans to go shopping for a small, insignificant country to purchase, rule.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Oprah Has Plans

After retirement, Oprah says she plans to call in all her psychics, healers, etc. to try to bring Michael Jackson back.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

"And I Have No Sense of Time"

Friends beginning to worry about Michael Jackson's doctor after he admitted that he may have treated Bubbles by mistake.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Consumer Product Safety Commission Bans Sharp Knives

CPSC bans sharp knives as Democratic far left loony liberals are afraid Americans will hurt themselves! Citizens over 21 years old may use only plastic knives. Japanese cutlery industry collapses.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 February 2010
Rating:

EPA Bans Water

EPA bans humans from drinking water, animal rights groups are granted an exception for four legged critters. Scotch, Rye, Gin, Vodka & Bourbon distillers are ecstatic, law enforcement not so ecstatic!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 February 2010
Rating:

EPA vs Mother-in -Laws

The American public votes the EPA as being the biggest pain in the arse, exceeding Mother-in-Laws!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Termites to be put on Endangered Species List

Environmental groups ask the EPA to put termites on ESL. Housing/construction industry switches from wood to steel construction materials. Environmental groups ask EPA to put Iron ore on the ESL.


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Winter Olympics 2014

Rosie O'Donnell announced she will enter the one person Luge competition, only using the extreme left side of the course. IOC officials say "only if she puts a sock in it!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Interesting Sport Idea

IOC has tentatively stated couples figure skating/ice dancing for the 2014 winter Olympics will be held in the nude. Safety concerns have been raised, particularly performing overhead maneuvers!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 February 2010
Rating:

EPA Bans Iran's Supreme Leader

Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei accused the USA of "war-mongering!" EPA has banned the supreme leader for spilling raw sewage, caused by the Iranian leader drinking his own bath water.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 February 2010
Rating:

EPA issues New Warning Labels

New warning labels that state "Do Not Eat" have been issued by the EPA. These warnings are for placement on yellow snow in the state of Alaska.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Manned Moon Landings to Continue

President Obama changes his mind, allows only manned moon and planet landings to continue. Personnel will be drawn from the EPA until they are all used up!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Skeptical Independents

Independents for smaller government & fiscal responsibility are leery of GOP rhetoric! Obama's agenda could be replaced by an agenda of anti abortion, anti Gay rights & anti Gays in the military.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 February 2010
Rating:

The Nut Case Cries

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is now crying that Israel is going to attack Iran! This from a nut case who has been threatening to wipe Israel off the map and is a person in dire need of a Cranialrectolectomy!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Tricorns "Old Hat"

by Ollie Aginous The three-cornered "tricorn" hats once favoured by men-about-town like Lord Nelson are a thing of the past. If they come back I'll eat Isambard Kingdom Brunel's hat.

written by Erskin Quint, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Spats "Won't Reassert Themselves"

Fashion expert Millicent Drawbacke said yesterday "spats are no longer a man's best friend. Ankles and spats are no longer bosom pals. Times change."

written by Erskin Quint, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Pays 75% Of Nation's Economy

Nigerians celebrate the sending out of the one millionth offer to hold your inheritance money until you send $500 holding fee.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Snoods "Unlikely to Return"

Snoods - long out of fashion favour - won't be coming back in a hurry, claims an expert. Jervis Pountyman, an expert, reckons that "few snoods will be on view this Spring."

written by Erskin Quint, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Chine Lauch Peace Initiative

Chinese agree to put first Tibetan into space, if the Dalai Lama will only volunteer.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

He's On The List

Afghanistan, Iraq agree on mutual hatred of the United States. Getting these two together could win Obama another Nobel Peace Prize.

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Shrove Tuesday Has Lost Its Meaning

'Shrove Tuesday has lost much of its significance', writes Mrs Multiple of Offa's Dyke. 'Nobody uses shroves any more. They've gone the way of pease pudding. Everybody uses pancakes these days.'

written by Erskin Quint, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Four New Members

Refrigerator Perry, Babe Ruth, Booby Jenks, John Madden voted into the Sports Hall Of Fat!

written by Bureau, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Bogus Ballybutton Bishop Cummerbund Case Unique

The case of the bogus Bishop of Ballybutton, accused of stealing his own cummerbund, is "quite unique. Not since a Pretend Eskimo dismantled his own igloo have we seen the like", said an Eskimo today.

written by Erskin Quint, 18 February 2010
Rating:

Ballybutton "Bishop" Bogus, Has No Cummerbund

"Ballybutton is not a real place, neither has it a Bishop. Furthermore, this non-existent Bishop is not Mick Flanagan and has no cummerbund", said the Bishop.

written by Erskin Quint, 18 February 2010
« Jan 2010 February 2010 Mar 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
1st
86
2nd
147
3rd
172
4th
155
5th
154
6th
142
7th
123
8th
109
9th
183
10th
146
11th
0
12th
163
13th
115
14th
136
15th
133
16th
93
17th
180
18th
185
19th
183
20th
211
21st
121
22nd
99
23rd
134
24th
166
25th
99
26th
113
27th
109
28th
150

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 4?

6 21 25 20


Go to top ^