Order by:
Rating:

Modern Cannibals

Scientist: Discovery that modern man ate the Neanderthals not all that different when you consider who's sending who to war and who is actually fighting it.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Pro/Against 50/50

Amish community in Pennsylvania split over whether to use segways or not.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

State Dept. Warning

State Department issues danger warning to Americans overseas.
"Don't come back and tell our president what other leaders really think about him."

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Thieves Hurt By Economy Too

Identity thieves complain of low grade identities that not worth impersonating as many have already maxed out credit cards.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Obama's New Rules

President Obama reduces treatment at Guantanamo from slap on the wrist to a wagging of the finger combined with a stern look!

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Men's Brains

Scientists have finally found out what is wrong with men. The problem lies in the two halves of their brains - The left half has nothing right in it. And the right half has nothing left in it!

written by IN SEINE, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Get This Shit Settled

Both shit and fan given three days in jail to cool off after police answer 911 call by fan, saying shit had deliberately hit him.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Essential shagathon?

Bavarian Illuminati = A Vital Labia Mini Run

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

No Spider Holes Here

Iran says that it is working on a special No Fly Zone, that there will be no more 'photos' of nuclear activity. Half- starved spiders seen leaving the area.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Stand-up piss poseur?

Bavarian Illuminati = Am Vain Tibial Urinal

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Moonlight corroborates

Bavarian Illuminati = A Lunar Vitamin Alibi

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Shrinks confident of new symptoms

Bavarian Illuminati = Nail A Bulimia Variant

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Another Snopes

A rival to Snopes has appeared on the internet that reveals the truth about old wives tales, etc. Snopes itself says that this new "What's Up?" is a fake.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Newly diagnosed form of cyber-psychosis?

Bavarian Illuminati = A Virtual Blini Mania

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Brave little internment

Bavarian Illuminati = A Valiant Mini Burial

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Not so enlightened about Vitamin B6 deficiency

Bavarian Illuminati = A Labial Vitamin Ruin

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Palatial by any calculation

Trafalgar Square = A Far Larger Squat

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Carress your own source

Tower of London = Fondle Own Root

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Chinese dumpling dealt a blow

Tower of London = Floored Wonton

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Blame the San Andreas Fault for this one!

Katie Holmes = I Shake Motel

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Land of Milk And Honey?

Katie Holmes = Hot Milk Ease

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Arabian desert hostelry?

Katie Holmes = A Sheik Motel

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Canonized by Scientology?

Katie Holmes = Make Holiest

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Aperture error?

Katie Holmes = Hole Mistake

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Mrs Cruise detests Michael

Katie Holmes = Loathes Mike

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Chelsea FC owner's alternative destinies?

Roman Abramovich = Barman/Vicar/Homo




written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Is it a blue tit?

Abel Rodriguez = Ogle Azure Bird

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Keen on a whole heap of shit

Abel Rodriguez = Big Ordure Zeal

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

As in Lounge Lizard

Abel Rdrigiuez = Be Rogue Lizard

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Spoofer urged to stun the furry little bastard

Abel Rodriguez = Daze Our Gerbil

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Snacked persistently on Russian currency?

Abel Rodrigiez = I Grazed Rouble

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Like a sugared camembert cheese?

Abel Rodriguez = Our Glazed Brie

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Narcolepsy from looking at too many horrid brassieres

Abel Rpodrigiuez = Uglier Bra Doze

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Spoofer warns about beastly pride

Abel Rodriguez = Lurid Zebra Ego

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

'Get Real'

Obama: "My administration has every intention of stopping Iran acquire big nukes - small nukes are OK".

written by Tcoah, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Spoofer favors American Idol diversity

Abel Rodriguez = Zebra Idol Urge

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Spoofer keen on new source of biofuels

Abel Rodriguez = Urged Zebra Oil

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Spoofer's flying instructions

Abel Rodriguez = Glide Our Zebra

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Pistols at dawn with some fetid troll?

Abel Rodriguez = Go Bizarre Duel

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Now about that sordid garden pavillion of yours......

Abel Rodriguez = Re: Lurid Gazebo

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

No hair extensions on this Spoofer, it's all his own locks

Abel Rodriguez = Zero Glue Braid

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Spoofer in favor of zit pop

Abel Rodriguez = Urged Boil Raze

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Close shave for top Spoofer

Abel Rodriguez = Beguiled Razor

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

No guessing which half of the Brangelina Dream Ticket this Spoofer likes to talk up!

Abel Rodriguez = Brad Eulogizer

written by queen mudder, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Fun In The Wastelands

Favorite joke of Osama bin Laden's fighters is to see a drone just outside someone's walled up cave. "Hey Aminon, Someone at the door to see you. hee hee hee"

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Nader Slipping

Friends of Ralph Nader fear for his health as he has a hard time recalling things of late, totally missing the Toyota stuck gas pedal, even when someone drove him home screaming into the phone.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

New Smart Drones

New U.S. Smart Drone knocks on front door of victim and then flies behind the house to catch him running out the back door.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Back To Square One

Leading evolutionists disappointed as idiot found wandering Mojave Desert naked and playing with himself, turns out to be the Missing Kink.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Blaine Really Good

David Blaine amazes Good Morning America by drawing chalk outline of body on sidewalk Friday and this morning, jumper was lying in it.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

"Iranian sanctions with teeth"

False teeth.

written by Tcoah, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Vodaphone Launch World's Cheapest Phone'

Less than £10 will buy you the 'World's Cheapest Phone' from Vodaphone. However, the calls will still cost 14p/minute or 25,000 Zimbabwe dollars.

written by IN SEINE, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Bill & Bed Bugs

Former President Clinton once again has had to clear out of his office for a few days because it's infested with bed bugs.
Pest Control people advise him to remove bed from his office.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Moonies

Unification Church promotes mixed marital arts to lure young men. I'm sorry, that should be, "mixed martial arts".

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Scotsman Bares all on Live TV

Police have identified a Scottish rugby fan who exposed himself on live BBC TV at the weekend as one of the McDonald clan as he had 2 1/4 pounders!

written by IN SEINE, 15 February 2010
Rating:

"What The Hey?"

Somali minister survives massive bombing. Water balloons still falling from top of building.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

"I AM AN ASS" On Buttocks

Ireland's Roman Catholic bishops are holding a meeting with Pope Benedict XVI at the Vatican to discuss their response to child sex abuse scandal. "Bring the branding iron & depants the lot for me."

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Spotted Earth-Like Planet Is Earth

All theories of the universe have to be rethought as Hubble Telescope sees itself, earth, in giant shiny mirrored solar system.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Jung Is Ill Alright

Kim Jung Il of North Korea swaps enriched uranium for set of 3D glasses!

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Can You Hear Me Now?

Justice Department wanting to know where all cellphones are located out of luck. Many in city dumps and landfills as they play music of & on all day and night.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Doctors Baffled

900% UK increase in mobile phone retrieval from the anuses of celebrities and sportsmen.

written by Skoob1999, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Dollar Falls Below Fictional Monetary Units

US dollar falls below the Shangri La lampoon, Atlantis alm!

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Haitian Locals Pitch In

Zombies worked hard in Haiti says American physician who flew there with a group. Those guys are strong.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Woods Sends Message

Tiger Woods finally has sent word to the PGA that he will not appear back on tour until Big Bertha know on his forehead goes down.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Cheney Approves Obama Move

Former Vice President Dick Cheney says Obama did right by sending in more troops to Afghanistan. "Another cakewalk!', says the Dickster.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Under Al Gore's Influence

President Barack Obama appoints Ralph Nader as new ambassador to Haiti.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Spring Just Around The Corner

Forget snow! Baseball players already showing up for early steroid shots.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Anyody In Washington Pay Taxes?

Apparently the plan by Washington is to help the economy by allowing congressmen to not pay taxes, as twelfth appointee turns down post.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Gang Of Porkers

Scientists studies now believe the Swine Flu was started by congress putting too much pork into bills.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Don't Care

Hard times for the economy even in the church as pastors report an average of six rat's asses in every donation plate passed.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Bloody Turnip

Congressmen set example with donating blood to the Red Cross as they bring in turnips to squeeze.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

To Appear Daily

CNN, ABC, NBC and CBS sign a new three year contract with Obama Administration!

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Courageous Grandmothers

A 60-year-old Australian grandmother beat off a shark despite loosing 3 pints of blood. At the same time a 70-year-old grandmother in Liverpool beat up a loan shark despite losing 2 pints of stout.

written by IN SEINE, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Victim Pulled To Safety

Haiti victim pulled to safety pissed over hearing that the Colts lost the Super Bowl, attempts to crawl back under rubble.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Hard To Ski On Rocks

Too warm, no snow, Vancouver may cause Olympics to move to southern US.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Smokers Only The Beginning

Firms that refuse to hire smokers say fat people may be next, then political party.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Death & Taxes

Labour accused of planning 'secret 10% death tax' in new row over elderly care. "They won't know anything about it", say politicians.


written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Staff Cuts

One in three public sector bosses to cut staff, farts, from eating so much beans-on-toast.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

New Alcohol Warning

Alcoholic drinks to carry health warnings under plan to stop binge drinking: "Too much of this good stuff will make you puke".


written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Walk Don't Crawl!

The six-month-old baby who learned to walk before he could crawl, now juggling toys while riding unicycle.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

With A Snarl

Gordon Brown urged to press on with 'masochism' strategy despite 'excruciating' TV interview, calling most reporters "Punk".


written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Terror Threat

Mid-Atlantic terror scare forces BA jet to return to Heathrow after circling New York Airport. Passengers unhappy.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Shut Up!!

Met Office warns Britain to brace itself for more heavy snow, burned to the ground.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Golf Game Over

Some dude named Dustin Johnson survives to win at Pebble Beach. Meanwhile Tiger nowhere about.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Sick Of Swine Flu News

CDC: Swine flu made 57 million Americans ill, 24 million from being sick of hearing about it.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Anit-Whaler Boards Japanese Boat

Whaling protester secretly boards Japanese boat, corks the ends of harpoons.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

49 Of 50 States Have Snow

49 states dusted with snow; Hawaii's the holdout. Weather Channel pays Hillary to go there.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Just Some Premiums Increasing

A rate hike for the few, until it's you! But insurance company says it's only increasing rates at houses near flood, landslide, wildfire, earthquake, tsunami, flooding area.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

In Hospital!

Toyota studies electronics again, trip undecided for Toyota president after car crashes at 110MPH.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Crowd Furnished With Rotten Tomatoes

Administration 'flexible' on 9/11 trial venue. Could hold it at Yankee Stadium to allow for crowds.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Brees Breezing Along

Brees leads major New Orleans Carnival parade. Peyton Manning forced to carry Chinese dragon's tail at end of parade.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Always A Kid Crying There

Police: Man stabs, kills estranged wife at Walmart. Claims constant crying kids drove him temporarily insane.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Real Trouble Now

Suspected US missile strike kills the last three whooping cranes!

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Vice Presidents Disagree

Biden and Cheney spar over anti-terrorism policies, color of curtains in Obama's bedroom at White House, Ne Orleans Super Bowl win, number of angels on the head of a pin.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

"She Taught Me To Shoot"

Cheney mum on supporting Palin in next election. "I support her all the way", says former VP's 110-year-old mum.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

East Edges West

Record crowd sees East edge West in All-Star game. East now to meet Globetrotters in Championship.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Out Of Balance

Kevin Smith oversized? ejected from flight. "Would tilt plane to one side unless he sat in the aisle", says company rep.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Smith Turned Away

Kevin Smith oversized? ejected from flight. Ass too big to get through door on plane.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Nothing's Changed

Clinton: Iran is becoming a military dictatorship. Cheney: What do you mean, 'Becoming'?

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Kia Cars to Be Recalled

Car manufacturer,Kia, have recalled over 2 million cars amidst fears that something will go wrong. Nothing is wrong, BUT it is highly unusual behaviour for the car.

written by IN SEINE, 15 February 2010
Rating:

The French Team Coach Is Very Upset

The coach of the French Olympics team is highly upset because someone forgot all of their country's white flags.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Australian Ice Hockey Player Sent Home

One of the members of the Australian Olympic ice hockey team was disqualified because he refused to get rid of his pet kangaroo.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 February 2010
Rating:

The Kenyan's Ain't Comin'

The government of Kenya announced that the reason that they will not be sending an Olympic team to Vancouver is due to the fact that too many of the team members have recently been bitten by lions.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Those Nutty Brazilians

The Brazilian Olympics team was severely reprimanded when it was learned that some of the players were selling counterfeit Brazil Nuts.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 February 2010
Rating:

The Interesting German Female Ice Skater's Pubic Region

Germany's Olympic figure skater who shaved her pubic region to resemble a swastika was told to shave it immediately or be suspended.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 February 2010
Rating:

"Pssssst, Wanna Buy Some Chop Sticks?"

One of the Chinese Olympic team members was suspended for 48 hours due to reports that he was price gouging. He reportedly sold some chop sticks to some Canadian fans for $22 per pair.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Where Are The Costa Ricans?

The Costa Rican Olympic team will not be participating in the Winter Olympics in Vancouver because of the dreaded Banana Seed Flu which has reached epidemic proportions back in Costa Rica.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 February 2010
Rating:

"Is That A Burger I Smell?"

The coach of the team Indian Olympics team has suspended two players after he caught them eating hamburgers in the bathroom.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 February 2010
Rating:

The Olympic Colombian Team Member's White Powder

Police in Vancouver stated that the suspicious white-looking sugar powder found in the suitcase of one of Columbia's snowboarders was actually sugar and not cocaine as authorities first believed.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 February 2010
Rating:

The Virgin Islands: It's Just A Name Right?

The Virgin Islands has stated that the reason they did not send a team to Vancouver is because four years ago when they participated in in Turin, a lot of the fans made fun of the name Virgin Islands.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Minnie Driver turns up at childrens play centre in Glasgow

Minnie driver turned up at a childrens play centre in Glasgow.
No it was not a car driver it was the actress Minnie Driver
who is currently filming in Glasgow and she turned up with her son

written by SPECTRUM, 15 February 2010
Rating:

'Like water off a ducks back'

Obama launches diplomatic offensive against Iran.

written by Tcoah, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Scientists discover how to look smarter

In a groundbreaking new study, scientists have discovered that sitting in laboratories surrounded by science stuff making noises and flashing lights makes them look smarter

written by Daniel Bristol, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Olympian Places 36th, Awarded Cardboard Medal

Olympian at the Winter Games placed 36th and was awarded a cardboard medal. Noted the athlete, "Well it's not as nice as the laminated cardboard medal that the 35th finisher got, but I'm still happy."

written by Nik Voelz, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Lead Again

Lead in older toys alter the brains of baby boys making them "more feminine", say US researchers, after study of why balls haven't dropped into scrotum.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Gas Prices Up Again

The price of greenhouse gases continue to climb monthly.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Cash Your Gourdes?

The Haitian gourde has fallen to that of the American dollar!

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Nothing To Worry Over

Barnanke says economy is fine. "But, could you advance me a few bucks till payday?"

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Women Doing Laundry Given Advice

Environmentalists advise women to save water by washing their husband's clothes at a running brook, employing a flat rock. Feminist groups turn green!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Thomas Jefferson Smiled

Senator Obama's 66,882,232 Democrats had more voting power than Republican Senator McCain's 58,343,671 voters? We will never know if a smiling Thomas Jefferson agreed or disagreed with the decision.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Taxpayer Funding

Have you ever noticed that every so called public service group that gets taxpayer funding tells Congress their special interest legislation doesn't go far enough and is underfunded!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 15 February 2010
Rating:

President Obama Passes Physical Examination

President Obama passed his yearly physical examination with flying colors. The only thing the president was told to watch was the ACORNs on his feet!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 15 February 2010
Rating:

VP Biden's Statements Defended by Democrats

A Democratic Party spokesman said that VP Biden's statements should not be called moronic, but more-off-ic!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 15 February 2010
Rating:

The Water's Edge

Politics is supposed to stop at the water's edge, relative to US foreign policy & homeland security. Fools in Washington DC think this means swimming naked in the reflecting Pool on the National Mall!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Supply and Demand

Using tax money to stimulate small business's to hire people when there is no increase in demand for a product or service is like GM selling cars for less than the manufacturing cost!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Mention Obesity

Have you ever noticed that when US obesity is mentioned the rabid Vegans, Tofu lovers, anti-meat people, food police and food fascists come out of the woodwork!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Couch Liberals a New Threat

Couch liberals identified as a bigger health risk to the USA economy than couch potatoes. Coach potatoes are full of potato chips, whereas couch liberals are full of spending other people's tax money.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Kids Kept Forgetting Burial Spot

Mattel says final holiday sales stats in and their new "Bury Me Jacko Dolls" did not sell well at all!

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Cheney Excited

Yellowstone facing overpopulation of snowmobilers to have their first muzzle loaders and bow & arrow seasons. "I got MY license", says former VP Cheney.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Big Breakthrough

Breakthrough in penis enlargement technology. Doctors warn American wives to prepare for the wurst.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Boomers Getting More Bold

Either you cut our taxes 50% or we vote every single one of you out of office and move in all boomers!

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

"Double Speak"

Obama (prior to election): "We will do things different from the Bush Administration"
Biden (Today): "We are doing the exact same thing as the Bush Administration"

written by Tcoah, 15 February 2010
Rating:

We Have Backup!

US warns Iran that if it doesn't stop developing nuclear weapons, we will use our "Coalition of the Extremely Reluctant" to attack them.

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
Rating:

Good News Finally

United States invents small nuclear weapon that will fit on an unmanned drone, for peaceful purposes. (Attack Us & We Release 1,000 Of These Babies!)

written by Bureau, 15 February 2010
« Jan 2010 February 2010 Mar 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
1st
86
2nd
147
3rd
172
4th
155
5th
154
6th
142
7th
123
8th
109
9th
183
10th
146
11th
0
12th
163
13th
115
14th
136
15th
133
16th
93
17th
180
18th
185
19th
183
20th
211
21st
121
22nd
99
23rd
134
24th
166
25th
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26th
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27th
109
28th
150

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