Order by:
Rating:

Chinese Gold Prices Set To Crash

Prices of Chinese Takeaways are set to soar following news that the price of their Gold is set to tumble. Canny investors are buying and freezing meals to defrost then sell on at 1,000,000% profit!

written by iscrivener, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Northeastern Drops Football Program

After 75 years Northeastern U. is dropping its football program. "It was a close 6-5 vote but it came down to either dropping football or cutting professors salary in half", says Dean.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Prince Harry On Iraq

"What are us English coming to if we can't have a bash at anyone without questions been asked?" The Prince continues "When I am zee King I vill show zem who iz de Man, itz inz minze genze youze zee!"

written by iscrivener, 10 February 2010
Rating:

British Met Office warns of more snow

No kidding - the Met Office should use their supercomputer to design better bed pans and flip-flops.

written by Tcoah, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Contents of Gordon Brown's tortured mind must be revealed

Top judges rule.

written by Tcoah, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Happy lentils only here!

Buckingham Palace = Ban A Glum Chickpea

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Strictly for the birds, this one

Buckingham Palace = A Bank Chic Plumage

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

One's rather pleased at this mistake from Coutts!

Buckingham Palace = A Bank Hiccup Gleam

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Cosmetics only...

Buckingham Palace = Clinch A Makeup Bag

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Charles's lost all his dosh down the bookies...

Buckingham Palace = Chuck: A Gamble Pain

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Some royal dromedary!

Buckingham Palace = A Hubcap Camel King

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Big Cat's a troll!

Buckingham Palace = Cable Hacking Puma

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Queen's really a Wiccan

Buckingham Palace = A Pagan Umbel Chick

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Fidel Castro's won the local drinking competition!

Buckingham Palace = Cuba Ale Champ King

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

He's On Facebook

Facebook addict actually thinks people give a shit about his old photo of Aunt Purty and him when he was three.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

On tonight's menu...

Buckingham Palace = A Chip/Gnu Clambake

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

New Orleans Proud

New Orleans points out that not only did they win the Super Bowl but that they are the only major city whose streets are always sterilized by fresh alcohol heaves.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Wiccan lip gets the one-over

Buckingham Palace = Pagan Labium Check

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Royal Variety Show for Prince of Whales?

Buckingham Palace = Nice Humpback Gala

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Running a cretin from the tabloids

Buckingham Palace = Manage Public Hack

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

No Such Thing

President Obama says that one thing that Bush did that kept people settled and not forming Tea Parties was that they had no fear of nuckular weapons.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Fishy tales, the one that got away!

Buckinghasm Palace = Chub Lake Campaign

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Royal four poster?

Buckingham Palace = Magical Cheap Bunk

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Chew on this, queenie!

Buckingham Palace = Banal Chickpea Gum

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

New Poll Results

Latest Poll: Most citizens of Afghanistan prefer democracy over death by a wide 10-1 margin!

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Secret Cult Shags A Victoria Sponge!

Buckingham Palace = Cabal Humping Cake

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

People Rescued From Housetops

According to "Breaking News" on TheSpoof, there's been a really bad hurricane hit New Orleans!

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Bet he's a rugby player!

Buckingham Palace = Capable Magic Hunk

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Watch For This!

One way to tell if your hotel room has been kept clean, says expert, is to see if the mice and bedbugs run for their life when you open the door.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

999 call to the abbatoir?

Buckingham Palace = Pig Hack Ambulance

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Beijing mollusc and mutt chowder?

Buckingham Palace = China Pug Clambake

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Best One Ever!

Former President says that he still misses his old Hummer while he was in office, behind his desk.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Got it in for the tabloids?

Buckingham Palace = Incapable Mug Hack

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

B;lame it on a ramparts knee-trembler after closing time

Buckingham Palace = Glum Backache Pain

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

It's Sidney Or The Bush

Insiders say that President Obama unhappy that Swine Flu didn't knock off many boomers. Social Security just about had it. May asked for volunteers to do without or die off.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

This baby hen's playing the South American cornet!

Buckingham Palace = Panama Bugle Chick

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Arkansas New State Motto

Arkansas announces their new state motto: "Keeping it in the family since 1836".

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

John Houston's daughter 'princess of whales'?

Buckingham Palace = Humpback Angelica

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

They're all morons

Windsor Castle = Was Old Cretins

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

A game that all the family can play!

Windsor Castle = World As Incest

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Customer's big knife?

Windsor Castle = A Client's Sword

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Hitler's Nuremberg Rallies?

Windsor Castle = A Crowd Listens

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Acres of grass to cut up

Windsor Castle = Lawn Dissector

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Anal fissure guaranteed

Windsor Castle = Astride Clowns

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Pals of Ronald McDonald's?

Windsor Castle = Disaster Clown

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Contorted face before orgasm?

Windsor Castle = Randiest Scowl

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Open to massive corruption

Windsor Castle = Dilates Crowns

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Also cheated the Mexicans

Windsor Castle = Tacos Swindler

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Embezzles thespians

Windsor Castle = Swindles Actors

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Gaping aperture?

Windsor Castle = Scrotal Widens

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Bunch of yobs

Windsor Castle = Rowdiest Clans

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Omerta again...

Windsor Castle = Wordless Antic

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Something disgusting about this brioche...

Windsor Castle = Lewd Croissant

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

The Original Sleepy Hollow?

Windsor Castle = Narcosis Dwelt

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Mostly a few feral boars

Windsor Castle = Wild Ancestors

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

This scam needs rubbishing

Windsor Castle = Disown Cartels

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Queen Elizabeth's well past her sell-by

Windsor Castle = Old Scrawniest

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Pact of Omerta?

Windsor Castle = Silent Cowards

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Yellow-livered bastards one and all!

Windsor castle = Enlist Cowards

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

All that glisters...

Windsor Castle = Cowards' Tinsel

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

The Queen's dumbass honesty

Windsor Castle = Witless Candor

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

White Slaver Defends Himself

Member of white slave ring strike back at Pope's Benedict's condemnation. "You're no SAINT, yourself!"

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

They're so bitter

Windsor castle = Slow Rancid Set

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Ferals fast asleep...

Windsor castle = Wildcats Snore

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Secrecy about its ramparts!

Windsor Castle = Citadel's Sworn

written by queen mudder, 10 February 2010
Rating:

No Penis Pumps

AlQaida #3 already kicked out of paradise after trying to blow 'himself' up to make former 72 virgins seem like virgins again.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Breakthroughs

Scientists predict few major medical breakthroughs in 2010, due to all their funding running out. Maybe in using cheap toilet tissue.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

What Lies Beneath Still A Mystery

There's just no way of telling with a Burka

written by Skoob1999, 10 February 2010
Rating:

New King Novel

Giant spiders in the caves strike Osama Bin Laden and al-Qaida in Stephen King's new thriller, "Iraqnophobia"

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Woman Calls Highly Sexed Husband 'Toyota'

"Once he gets going there's no stopping him."

written by Skoob1999, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Pelosi Upset

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi still wants to know who put that "Contents may have settled" sign on her back during ABC interview.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Page 2297, Bottom Left Page

Among those things hidden in the President's huge health care bill discovered only yesterday: $90,000 for 50 more hair plugs for VP Biden.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

In The Health Care Bill

Among those things hidden in the President's huge health care bill discovered only yesterday: $150,000 for Nancy Pelosi's semi-annual face lift.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Honda recall cars with faulty airbags, they're filled with Helium!

Honda have filled their airbags with Helium and Honda cars involved in crashes have been seen drifting heaven-bound!
All airports have been alerted just in case they meet a 747 on the way!

written by Jaggedone, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Anyone Read This Thing!

Among those things hidden in the President's huge health care bill discovered only yesterday: "$200,000 to keep super vitamin/caffeine IV's in Senator Robert C. Byrd of West Virginia.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Are We There Yet?

World's scientists apologize for the invention of time travel delays. "So far, everyone who's been successful has disappeared."

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Keep An Eye On Each Other

CIA: Disclosing the spy we have in your neighborhood would weaken our national security.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

"What, Me Worry?"

Muslim Extremists Mad over new edition of Mad Magazine with Osama Bin Newman on the cover.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

It's The Sea Son!

Country Joe & The Fish reunite to record new album "Fishnets Look Better With Eels".

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Sports Illustrated Turned Down Taylor Swift's Request To Be In Swimsuit Issue

They want people who can fill out a bikini, and Taylor can't even fill out a training bra.

written by Jalapenoman, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Another Remake

Country Joe & The Fish reunite to record "Salmon To Watch Over Me".

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Glenn Beck Turns 46 Years Old

No surprise, but no birthday card from the White House.

written by Jalapenoman, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Brett Favre Announces Six Month Retirement From Football

He may or may not extend that after training camp starts.

written by Jalapenoman, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Tiger Woods Unhappy WIth Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Cover

"Damn, she's married!"

written by Jalapenoman, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Honda, Ford, GM, and Nissan Join Toyota In Recalls

Forget the cash, give me my clunker back!

written by Jalapenoman, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Katie Price Fears Dying Like Diana.

We say, don't knock it unless you've tried it love!

written by Nick Hobbs, 10 February 2010
Rating:

"Can't make this Up"

Obama's Global Warming agency's Official Opening Press Conference done over the phone because of historic snow fall and blizzard conditions in Washington, DC.

written by Tcoah, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Michael Jackson Still Dead

Legendary pop star Michael Jackson remains dead, despite rumors that he was the messiah.

written by Daniel Bristol, 10 February 2010
Rating:

The First Same-Sex Marriage in United Arab Emirates

And Arabian ambassador got married to a bloke with a beard and was also cross eyed. Damn those niqabs! It was divorce at first kiss.

written by IN SEINE, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Another CJ & Fish Release "Upstream"

Country Joe & The Fish reunite to record theme music and song from "The Cod Squad".

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Divorce Granted

Ambassador calls for divorce after veil-wearing Muslim bride reveals a beard, crossed eyes, big penis.


written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

There is no news.

Absolutely nothing is happening right now whatsoever. Details to follow.

written by Daniel Bristol, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Teacher Gets Sentence

Female teacher, 47, who stripped for schoolboy faces jail. Boy faces being called "Old Bugeyes" rest of his school days.


written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Recovery Will Be Slow

Recovery will be slower than a herd of turtles stories, admits Bank governor Mervyn King.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Very Slow Recovery

Recovery will be slower than stories being posted on TheSpoof, admits Bank governor Mervyn King.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Slow Recovery

Recovery will be slower than molasses in January...February, admits Bank governor Mervyn King.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Green Thumb, Penis

Horticultural lecturer found murdered in woods 'after her gardener lover found out about ANOTHER gardener!'

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Wouldn't Think Of Such a Thing!

Revealed: The REAL reason Labour threw open doors to mass migration in a secret plot to remake a multicultural UK. Say getting more voters registered not the reason.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Really Scared

'The lights went off and the car began to fall': Tourist tells of horror lift ordeal 124 floors up the world's tallest building, turning into a toilet.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

McDumbass

Michelin-starred restaurant sees staff storm out after owner says food is 'too poncey'. Wants burgers, fries, chicken nuggets served.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Bunch Of Cheeseheads

400 Cadbury's workers sacked after Kraft confirms factory will close just ONE WEEK after U.S. firm promised to keep it open. Bunnies being "taken care of" at cosmetic factory.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Toyota Troubles

More recalls likely amid caution after Toyota woes. Drivers complain that car won't let them back up when they've missed their exit on freeways.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Of Mobsters & Hamsters

Broadcaster fined over killing a rat on TV show. Three mobsters arrested.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Bound To Happen

First "Bootleg Copies of the Airport body Scanners of the Stars show up.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

It's A Little Late

Sin City is paying homage to iconic singers Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin by giving them each a place on the Las Vegas Walk of Stars. Both dug up for hand prints.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Airlines Seeking More Ways To Raise Fares

American Airlines to charge $8 for blankets, $150 for accompanying "hostess".

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Worth A Shot

Jay Leno ends his NBC prime-time experiment as detainees taken back to Guantanamo.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Being Bored Bad

Report: Being bored could be bad for your health. Especially if you're suicidal to begin with.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Battle Grows

Anti-whalers, Japanese fleet firing stage advances as Anti-whalers hire mercenary pirates.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

India's New Weapon Program

India successfully tests nuclear-capable missile under project: "Curry Bomb"!

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

New Agency Formed

The Obama administration on Monday proposed a new agency to study and report on the changing climate, after first one lied like dogs.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Silver Lining

Bank of England expects slow economic recovery. On the other hand, depression would also happen slowly.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Now It's Cruise control

More recalls likely amid caution after Toyota woes. Cruise control fails to prevent Tom Cruise from jumping up & down in back seat.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

More Recalls

More recalls likely amid caution after Toyota woes. Older people say car acts up when resting one foot on brake and one on gas pedal.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Toyota Recalls

More recalls likely amid caution after Toyota woes. Drivers claim car becomes unstable while painting toenails.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Driver Can't Think

More recalls likely amid caution after Toyota woes. Now GPS systems arguing with back seat drivers.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Latest Toyota Problem

More recalls likely amid caution after Toyota woes. Next in line, those of automatic left turn signals coming on if driver older than 70.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

50 Years Of Fat & Failure

Gov't fitness efforts haven't stemmed kid obesity, from Eisenhower to Michelle Obama. In other words, the TV commercial years.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

New Health Bill May Be Passed

Obama would OK health bill minus everything he proposed in it. "Just as long as it is written that I got a health care bill passed", says President.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Endeavour At Space Station

Space shuttle Endeavour pulls in at space station. Has oil rings checked, new wipers.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Especially In Hollywood Area

Storm dumps rain, hail, frogs, brimstone, snow in Southern California

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Ukraine Elects....Alphabet!

Ukraine vote count shows win for person whose name is impossible to pronounce.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Kenya Relocates Animals

Kenya relocates thousands of animals to game park as several predators need more to eat. Decision comes after several park rangers disappeared last year.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

"Then There's Aunt Larry"

Changes proposed in how psychiatrists diagnose. Instead of listening, will talk up a storm.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Consumer Spending Down

New report: Consumers spent modestly in January. Most likely cause: No money after holidays.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Tiger Woods Should Not Remarry?

For many Chinese, the Year of the Tiger promises to roar in more economic prowess and global clout for their country, but couples planning to get married are better off waiting until 2011.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Plenty New Jobs For Village Idiots

Low IQ among top heart health risks, study finds. Village Idiots dropping like flies, says medical research team.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Signs Of Low IQ

Low IQ among top heart health risks, study finds. "Always check out those saying "My brain hurts" or talk about "George & the rabbits", say specialists.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Phantom Companies Making Money

ArcelorMittal posts $1.07 billion Q4 profit! Krigagoatnog Inc accuses them of making up silly name.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Prisoner Tells Of Ill Treatment

Britain discloses secret data on terror prisoner. "They say terrible things about Bin laden and his mother", says prisoner

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

There Could Be Money Involved

Italy's agriculture minister defended his sponsorship of McDonald's new all-Italian burger Monday amid criticism. "They eat spaghetti & meatballs, don't they?" he replies.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

New Rules

Don't say "mental retardation" - the new term is "intellectual disability." No more diagnoses of Asperger's syndrome - call it a mild version of autism instead. "Shits" should be "Brown outs".

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Fat Kids Next Great danger to the U.S.?

a new study suggests that They're big enough to block an exit and yet short enough to trip over.

written by Adam Click, 10 February 2010
Rating:

After Escape From Menal Institute

Sweet Tooth in Children May Be Linked to Alcoholism, Elephant poop, the Cat's pajamas say mad scientists.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

I Got Him With A Loafer!

Mystery swirls around George W. Bush 'Miss me yet?' billboard.
Some say yes, some hurl shoes lying beside the billboard.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Recalls

Honda adds 437,000 cars to global air bag recall as Toyota, Honda continue race on who can recall the most cars.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Homer Simpsons Beer Campaign

Homer Simpson is continuing his campaign to convince everybody that Duff Beer is great.

written by SPECTRUM, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Labour Loony Death tax

The Labour Loonies plant to introduce a Death Tax
they already take more tax off you than anywhere in the World when you are alive now you will have to cough up £20,000
before you die

written by SPECTRUM, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Texas town glows in dark

A Texas town thinks it may have been contaminated by the nearby power plant. Everybody is dead and the water glows in the dark, but the EPA has assured the public that this will soon be covered up.

written by Daniel Bristol, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Man drowns

A man who was attempting to walk around the world drowned today.

written by Daniel Bristol, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Big Wrestling Match

Top draw at Madison Square Garden this weekend is wrestling match between Edward "The Body" Scissorhands vs John "Bowlegs" Bobbitt!

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Like A Eunuch Before Long

Members of Florida nudist colony want a Mr. Longly out. Thay say he has a huge belly and that the first thing he asks any woman there when they meet him is, "How am I looking today?"

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Hoping For Talks

Obama planning date for US pullout of Afghanistan in what he is now referring to as "Operation Beer Conference".

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Or Possibly, Never Again?

Nigeria's Vice-President Goodluck Jonathan becomes acting president in place of ailing leader Umaru Yar'Adua, whom Jonathon says "cannot talk right now."

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

Up Late At Night

John Lawson Kennedy stated that he did not attend his great uncle Ted Kennedy's funeral was because he's not a mourning person.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2010
Rating:

No Show for Dooty ?

" Any Fool can be a Father ? "

written by mancalledhorsemanure, 10 February 2010
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