There were 3,807 spoof news snippets published in February 2010. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

Order by:
Rating:

Austin Morris Recalls Morris Minor

93 year-old Austin Morris living in a nursing home in Somerset, recalls his 1948 Morris Minor."It was a jolly good car which never let me down - 'twas much better than this Japanese stuff," he said.

written by IN SEINE, 09 February 2010
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Katie Price Fears Dying Like Diana.

We say, don't knock it unless you've tried it love!

written by Nick Hobbs, 10 February 2010
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The Truth About Hulk Hogan and Lady Gaga

83-year old Hulk Hogan's 'Little Hogan' has gotten so small that even Lady Gaga is now saying that she has more down there than he does.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 February 2010
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Kia Cars to Be Recalled

Car manufacturer,Kia, have recalled over 2 million cars amidst fears that something will go wrong. Nothing is wrong, BUT it is highly unusual behaviour for the car.

written by IN SEINE, 15 February 2010
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The Biggest Decision In Chile's History

The government of Chile has decided to change the spelling of its name to the more popular Chili.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 February 2010
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Britain Has Falklands Defence Strategy In Place

Thousands of trained penguins prepared to repel invasion.

written by Skoob1999, 23 February 2010
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Cheryl Cole Getting Taller

No. Sorry about that. It's the heels. Carry on.

written by Skoob1999, 23 February 2010
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Hey, Remember That Funny Guy With The Weird Red Hairdo?

Conan O'Brien says that he has just received his first unemployment check.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 February 2010
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The Extremely Versatile Robin "Hey Look At My Crotch" Williams

Robin Williams will star in The Story of The Monty Python Flying Circus. Williams will be portraying all six parts.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 February 2010
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You Are What You Eat

It has been rumoured that Gordon Brown has begun to eat nine bananas a day after being given a book for Christmas called "You Are What You Eat" by Gillian McKeith.

written by IN SEINE, 08 February 2010
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The First Same-Sex Marriage in United Arab Emirates

And Arabian ambassador got married to a bloke with a beard and was also cross eyed. Damn those niqabs! It was divorce at first kiss.

written by IN SEINE, 10 February 2010
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New "Modesty" Hospital Gowns Introduced

New "modesty" gowns are to be introduced into hospitals to prevent the bottom from being exposed and causing embarrassment. However, to do so may involve yards or even acres of extra material.

written by IN SEINE, 09 February 2010
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Cheryl Cole To Make Pop Video With Cristiano Ronaldo

"Anything Shakira can do, I can do better," she says. Why aye.

written by Skoob1999, 23 February 2010
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The Statue of Liberty Did Not Get Her Stimulus Package

In keeping with the ongoing recession, the government will replace the Statue of Liberty's torch with a sparkler.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 February 2010
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Kirstie Alley's Spectacular Job Offer

Well it finally happened. The Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus has offered Kirstie Alley a full time job as their circus fat lady.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 February 2010
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Leslie Nielsen's 14th Naked Gun Movie

Leslie Nielsen has just announced that he will start filming Naked Gun 14 - The I Forget What Years.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 February 2010
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The Frito Bandito Is Coming Back - But Damn!!!

Frito Lay will be re-introducing the very popular Frito Bandito. But they say that in keeping with being politically correct he will ride sidesaddle and munch with a lisp.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 February 2010
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In This Climate

Doctor I.C. Cloud from Bristol University is going to be discussing global warming next week, in what is expected to be quite a heated topic.

written by IN SEINE, 09 February 2010
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The French Team Coach Is Very Upset

The coach of the French Olympics team is highly upset because someone forgot all of their country's white flags.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 February 2010
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Danish Dog with Nose for Money

Dani$h Cu$tom$ & Exci$e have a new dog named Mullah who can $niff out money in large quantitie$. They bought the dog from $ir Fred Goodwin of Ediburgh, who trained him on hi$ pen$ion money. .

written by IN SEINE, 09 February 2010
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Men's Brains

Scientists have finally found out what is wrong with men. The problem lies in the two halves of their brains - The left half has nothing right in it. And the right half has nothing left in it!

written by IN SEINE, 15 February 2010
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Gordon Brown Turns Cannibal

Gordon Brown, is on a health-drive and is eating no less than nine bananas a day. This is PURE CANNIBALISM. Likewise David Cameron is tucking into nuts & Nick Clegg is endulging in Crackers.

written by IN SEINE, 08 February 2010
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What Lies Beneath Still A Mystery

There's just no way of telling with a Burka

written by Skoob1999, 10 February 2010
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Nadal Pulls Out Of Tennis Tournament

Said to be 'still limping' following Shakira video shoot.

written by Skoob1999, 23 February 2010
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Shakira Suffers Dizzy Spell

Still a bit weak at the knees after video shoot with Rafael Nadal.

written by Skoob1999, 23 February 2010
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Ashley Cole Innocent

"He has not seen, or had Cheryl's ring," friend declares.

written by Skoob1999, 23 February 2010
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Cameron Calls Brown 'A Donkey'

"Hee-haw. Hee-haw. Hee-halways calls me that. I have no idea why," brays Brown.

written by Skoob1999, 16 February 2010
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Tesco's REALLY Suck!

A human fly scaled a wall just like Spiderman using just two Tesco vacuum cleaners. A spokesman said: "Eat your hearts out Dyson!"

written by IN SEINE, 16 February 2010
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'Internet Addiction' Causes Depression claim Refuted

Psychologists claim 'Internet addiction' is a major cause of depression. Mark Lowton claims "This is CRAP, I'm a Psychologist too and none of my patients are depressed - they all write for TheSpoof!"

written by IN SEINE, 03 February 2010
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Australian Ice Hockey Player Sent Home

One of the members of the Australian Olympic ice hockey team was disqualified because he refused to get rid of his pet kangaroo.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 February 2010
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Courageous Grandmothers

A 60-year-old Australian grandmother beat off a shark despite loosing 3 pints of blood. At the same time a 70-year-old grandmother in Liverpool beat up a loan shark despite losing 2 pints of stout.

written by IN SEINE, 15 February 2010
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Vodaphone Launch World's Cheapest Phone'

Less than £10 will buy you the 'World's Cheapest Phone' from Vodaphone. However, the calls will still cost 14p/minute or 25,000 Zimbabwe dollars.

written by IN SEINE, 15 February 2010
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Why Don't Tesco Do Something More Useful?

Tesco, have banned a man from carrying his daughter on his shoulders from entering the store - yet they don't forbid old lady for carrying a £100,000 plate from a Royal tea set in a Tesco carrier bag.

written by IN SEINE, 08 February 2010
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"Gordon Brown IS A Big Bully," Says Cameron.

"He once stole my dinner money."

written by Skoob1999, 23 February 2010
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Scotsman Bares all on Live TV

Police have identified a Scottish rugby fan who exposed himself on live BBC TV at the weekend as one of the McDonald clan as he had 2 1/4 pounders!

written by IN SEINE, 15 February 2010
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New Agency

The FBI & DEA are joining efforts; assigning their agents to a quasi-FBI/DEA enforcement team that targets illegal decongestant pills sales on the black market. The agents will be called Pseudo Feds.

written by IN SEINE, 13 February 2010
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Chris Brown's New Unbelievable First Name

Chris Brown says that due to all of the bad publicity he has been receiving due to his physically attacking Rihanna he has decided to change his name. His new name will be Bobby Brown.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 February 2010
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UK Accused Of Torture

Prisoners forced to watch 'Dickinson's Real Deal' on a loop.

written by Skoob1999, 20 February 2010
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Girls! Don't Throw Out Those Old Lacy Undies!

Make them into a lady Gaga mask instead! Say tabloids.

written by Skoob1999, 20 February 2010
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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a Tuffet

And wondered, "How can I find a husband, so that I can dump this stupid name?"

written by Gail Farrelly, 27 February 2010
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Woman Calls Highly Sexed Husband 'Toyota'

"Once he gets going there's no stopping him."

written by Skoob1999, 10 February 2010
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"Is That A Burger I Smell?"

The coach of the team Indian Olympics team has suspended two players after he caught them eating hamburgers in the bathroom.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 February 2010
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"Pssssst, Wanna Buy Some Chop Sticks?"

One of the Chinese Olympic team members was suspended for 48 hours due to reports that he was price gouging. He reportedly sold some chop sticks to some Canadian fans for $22 per pair.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 February 2010
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Those Nutty Brazilians

The Brazilian Olympics team was severely reprimanded when it was learned that some of the players were selling counterfeit Brazil Nuts.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 February 2010
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The Kenyan's Ain't Comin'

The government of Kenya announced that the reason that they will not be sending an Olympic team to Vancouver is due to the fact that too many of the team members have recently been bitten by lions.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 February 2010
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Soccer Star Ronaldo Rescues Disaster Hit Madeira

Wears a Tee Shirt with 'Madeira' written on it. In marker pen. Wow.

written by Skoob1999, 23 February 2010
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Doctors Baffled

900% UK increase in mobile phone retrieval from the anuses of celebrities and sportsmen.

written by Skoob1999, 15 February 2010
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The New and Exciting Sanford and Son

NBC will begin filming episodes of The New Sanford and Son Sit-Com. General Larry Platt will portray Fred and Gary Coleman will portray his son Lamont.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 February 2010
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Cricket Latest

Elton John caught from behind.

written by Skoob1999, 20 February 2010
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Reason for There Being so Many Politicians in Australia Found

As ITV found to its cost (£1600 to be precise) it is illegal to kill a rat in Australia. "Now the bloody country is overrun with the little blighters." according to unnamable Aboriginal tribesmen

written by IN SEINE, 08 February 2010
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Jigsaw killer admits it's not the first victim

He previously took a sledge hammer to a Rubik's cube when he couldn't solve that either.

written by Bill Licks, 01 February 2010
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Sex World Cup Result

Masochist beaten into second place.

written by Skoob1999, 18 February 2010
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Entirely New Crossbreed of Dog

The scientists at Oxford University have successfully crossed a Staffordshire Bull Terrier with a Shih Tzu and are open to suggestions on what to call the crossbreed.

written by IN SEINE, 06 February 2010
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Queen Mudder Writing Small Snippets

Very small. Like this one.

written by NickFun, 05 February 2010
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Painting Landscapes Tip:

Use green, and plenty of it.

written by Skoob1999, 18 February 2010
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New England Captain's Plea To Squad

Anybody got Vanessa Perroncel's mobile number?

written by Skoob1999, 06 February 2010
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Superbowl Getting Really Interesting

That is, providing you believe all the overblown hype.

written by Skoob1999, 07 February 2010
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Pill helps to cure osteoporosis in mice and rats

Way to go, scientists. Now we'll have a nice strong rodent population to battle.

written by Gail Farrelly, 14 February 2010
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U. S. Military Now Permits Use of Twitter

Don't ask, don't tell, just tweet it.

written by Gail Farrelly, 27 February 2010
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Trouble with the Extra Room (with windows) at the Space Station

Intergalactic real estate agent suddenly appeared and said, "Hey, the reservation wasn't for a room with a view."

written by Gail Farrelly, 14 February 2010
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Original Features Can Still Be Seen on Ancient Spider Fossil

No facelift necessary.

written by Gail Farrelly, 14 February 2010
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Iran Acting Suspiciously

Iran wants to supply friends in region with nuclear energy, especially Hamas, PLO, Hezbollah, Taliban, Al_Qaida and Tony Bitchtits visiting from Jersey.

written by Bureau, 16 February 2010
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One-Armed Bandit Not Greedy!

A one-armed man stole a single gold cufflink from a jewellers shop in Leigh-on-Sea, Essex, today. Police say; "the man is not quite armless, but certainly not greedy." They have nicknamed him 'Andy'.

written by IN SEINE, 08 February 2010
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Toyota Issue Free Bumper Sticker

"My Other Car Stops When I Brake."

written by Skoob1999, 08 February 2010
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Obama cancels Moon return project

He's a big fan of the BAFTA nominated sci-fi classic, starring Sam Rockwell, but the wife and kids wanted to watch Alvin And The Chipmunks 2 instead.

written by Bill Licks, 01 February 2010
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Conservative Party Policy

Champagne, caviar, balloons, party poppers, amyl nitrate.

written by Skoob1999, 18 February 2010
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Afghan Audits Impossible

Shopkeepers in Kabul say that it is impossible to do inventories in their shops because of the tally ban.

written by IN SEINE, 06 February 2010
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Tally Ban For the Fairer Sex

Women have finally found acceptance in virtually every occupation in India except bookkeeping. With all the progress, there's still no accounting for women.

written by IN SEINE, 06 February 2010
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Simon Cowell too ill to judge Britains got talent

An irritating pain in the arse and a dribbling prick..... are left to watch the auditions on their own.

written by Bill Licks, 03 February 2010
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Tracey Emin's Latest Piece A Turn Off For Art Lovers

'Dysentry Stricken Somalian's Blocked Toilet' not as popular as was hoped. No bids yet.

written by Skoob1999, 18 February 2010
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Flight Grounded because of massive rat

Hundreds of passengers were ordered off a plane because a huge rat was discovered on board. After the plane was cleared of people the culprit Gordon Brown was removed by pest control experts.

written by SPECTRUM, 27 February 2010
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The Olympic Colombian Team Member's White Powder

Police in Vancouver stated that the suspicious white-looking sugar powder found in the suitcase of one of Columbia's snowboarders was actually sugar and not cocaine as authorities first believed.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 February 2010
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Government Saving a Packet!

In a bid to ban advertising cigarettes, the government has let manufacturers sell them in plain packets. Much of the cost of printing fancy boxes will be cut. However, the price WILL remain the same.

written by IN SEINE, 06 February 2010
Rating:

Newry Car Bomb Was A Toyota

"These people obviously know what they're doing," says police spokesman.

written by Skoob1999, 23 February 2010
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Dubai Says Emphatic 'No!'

Denies planning permission for Heaven Caravans Holiday Park.

written by Skoob1999, 23 February 2010
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Jimminy Cricket Hates Cricket

I'm a grasshopper from LA f'Chrissakes. Why da hell would I like cricket?

written by Skoob1999, 02 February 2010
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Superbowl XLIV

Almost as nerve shreddingly exciting as Stockport County v Accrington Stanley on a wet Wednesday night in November. Almost...

written by Skoob1999, 07 February 2010
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Good reason for depression

Researchers have discovered the reason why New Yorkers are always so depressed. "It's because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.

written by IN SEINE, 03 February 2010
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No Flies On Me

Complains Venus Flytrap in garden centre.

written by Skoob1999, 20 February 2010
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Facebook Official Discusses Glitch in Which Email Messages Were Misdirected

"We still have a higher accuracy rate than the U. S. Postal Service."

written by Gail Farrelly, 26 February 2010
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Jordan Marries Again!

"I believe it's 3rd time lucky, but NOT the adage "Marry in haste, repent at leisure - where's Haste? I got married in Las Vegas" she said.

written by IN SEINE, 03 February 2010
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Dali's Painting Tips

"Imagine there's been a fire and everything melted."

written by Skoob1999, 20 February 2010
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Tiger Woods Latest

Golf star in love dodecahedron.

written by Skoob1999, 20 February 2010
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Robert Pattinson's PR Tip

Don't joke about vaginas.

written by Skoob1999, 20 February 2010
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Tiger Back On Course In 2029

When he's finished apologizing

written by Skoob1999, 20 February 2010
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Brown, The Bully

Brown, the bully: Key No10 figure tells how he was pushed, kicked, back-handed, nuggets wired to a battery and shouted at by the PM

written by Bureau, 28 February 2010
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Special Honeymoon Offers

Dizney World opens new adult section that features Alice In Wonderbra!

written by Bureau, 28 February 2010
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Erie Freezes Over

Lake Erie Frozen over for the first time in 14 years. "Gives you an eerie feeling just looking at it", says new weekend weatherman.

written by Bureau, 16 February 2010
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Spits & Curses

Young mother jailed for biting midwife during childbirth. But attorney says that Rosemary will be back with her baby in no time.

written by Bureau, 06 February 2010
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We're Just Cold!

Once again a dozen old men in trench coats driven from "Little Missy America" contest.

written by Bureau, 06 February 2010
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South Accrington

Not a preferred safari destination.

written by Skoob1999, 20 February 2010
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Amazing Archaeological Find

Archaeologists in the English County of Wiltshire have found part of an ancient door.
Interestingly, It had a stone hinge on it.

written by IN SEINE, 06 February 2010
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'Is it a pelanty?' asks Chris Waddle

'No it's a PENALTY you fuckwit' scream the viewers.

written by Bill Licks, 01 February 2010
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Roof Caving In

Heavy snow caves in roof of meeting of specialists of global warming. Two injured, 1 million laughing till their sides hurt.

written by Bureau, 17 February 2010
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World's Oldest Paperboy A Lazy Bastard

"He missed our house out one day in 1963," grumbles disgruntled customer.

written by Skoob1999, 18 February 2010
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Evidence of Communism in the Insect World

Scientists at Durham University have discovered evidence of Communism in the insect kingdom. It first took off when a wary wasp joined the cagey bee.

written by IN SEINE, 06 February 2010
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Tesco Forced to Change Their Slogan

Tesco have been forced to change their advertising slogan from "every little helps" to "very little helps" after banning a glamour model for wearing a designer tracksuit.

written by IN SEINE, 05 February 2010
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A record 65 million quid paid for Sculpture

He'll go straight into the Manchester City team for the away trip to Hull on Saturday.

written by Bill Licks, 03 February 2010
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A New Cure Discovered

When Boris Grouch of Gloucester went to the doctors' with a minor cough, the General Practioner laughed at him. When Boris became upset, the doctor told him that laughter was the best medicine!

written by IN SEINE, 06 February 2010
Rating:

Dog wins equivalent of VC for Animals

An eight-year-old labrador has been awarded the Dickin Medal for outstanding bravery. A total of 26 dogs have been awarded the medal whereas only one cat has. Proof that cats are a waste of space.

written by IN SEINE, 06 February 2010
« Jan 2010 February 2010 Mar 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
1st
86
2nd
147
3rd
172
4th
155
5th
154
6th
142
7th
123
8th
109
9th
183
10th
146
11th
0
12th
163
13th
115
14th
136
15th
133
16th
93
17th
180
18th
185
19th
183
20th
211
21st
121
22nd
99
23rd
134
24th
166
25th
99
26th
113
27th
109
28th
150

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