Spoof news snippets from Monday 6 December 2010
Obama, Democrats Agree To Temporary Cave-In On Tax Cuts
Sunset provision will make latest act of Democratic cowardice permanent in 2014.
Obama Becomes Republican!
THE NEW OBAMA! SURPRISE TAX CUT MOVE! Cheered again by his fellow democrats for lying all during his campaigns to do away with tax cuts for wealthy.
"Oh The Shark Bites Wih It's Teeth Dear"
Shark experts head to Egypt to probe series of attacks. Group will be headed up by Mack The Knife.
Comedienne Margaret Cho says Sarah Palin forced Bristol to do 'DWTS'
"Bullpucky!"said, Palin, "Did your mother force you to be Chinese and unfunny." MEOW !
George Steinbrenner is shy the votes to get into Hall of Fame
WikiLeaks claims Bob Lemon and Billy Martin voted twice.
CAT Scores Examined
Results of new CAT scores said to raise more questions than they do answers.
Choosing A Career
How to Choose a Career That's Best for You? Nigerian psychic can tell you in ten minutes: $100.
Kookaburras Out Of Washington
Australian wildlife workers on Monday said they had discovered a never-before-seen pair of blue-atate albino kookaburras, which must have strayed from Washington DC.
Free Speech Is Fine But Not Treason & Murder
WikiLeaks reveals sites critical to US security. McConnell is right. This IS treason if troops or civilian are killed over this.
NKorea War Crimes
International court investigating North Korea war crimes. Kim accuses them of trying to take his toys.
New $100 Pulled
Huge mistake mars flashy new $100 bills which show what looks like Ben Franklin's ass!
Spoof News Competition Won by News Corporation's FOX News/Sun Tabloid
LOS ANGELES - At the 2010 Journalist Press Corps Convention, website TheSpoof.com came joint second with The Onion in catagory: Spoof News. First place won by News Corp's FOX News and the Sun tabloid.
Merkel Resists Eurozone Proposals
Doesn't fancy anyone and sees herself in the role of a German Elizabeth I - the Virgin Chancellor!
Never Mind!
Bob Dylan and Ringo Starr apparently team up to do new.. I'm sorry, that's an old pic of Arafat & Qaddafi.
Bum Writes Book
Guy who has lived off others for 40 years writes how he has done it. Donates all profits to "Those that work, poor suckers."
You're Only As Old As Your Hoohas!
Study: Older women like younger men or older men with transplants. Same for older men.
New Life Form On The Lose!
Discovery by scientists of new life form with arsenic instead of phosphorus breaks out of lab!
US Hiring Worse Since WWII.
No end in sight to U.S. economic crisis as 'scariest jobs chart ever' shows post-recession unemployment is at its worst since World War Two. Time for wealthy who get tax break to begin hiring!
Caught In Honeytrap!
'She was the best person for the job': MP caught in alleged honeytrap defends decision to employ blonde Russian 'spy'. Asked to explain what he means by "Job".
Go Ahead & Swim!
Egyptian minister says it's safe to swim despite German tourist being eaten by a shark. "Shark is full now."
The Easiest Way
Explosive-laden Southern California home to be blown to bits!
The Broken-Hearted
A Broken Heart: Study Reveals Clue to Cause of Rare Syndrome. Not as often today as when many paid toilet stalls had poem, "Here I sit, broken-hearted, paid five cents & only farted."
Gingrich May Run For President
Gingrich insists he's serious about a 2012 White House run The Ticket. "I'm serious, folks. Quit that laughing."
$100 Bills Stopped
Printing problem stops production of $100 bills. "Obama has worn it out", says worker.
I Could Eat Both Right Now
Pennsylvania deer hunters donate venison to food banks! Ark. offering road-kill stew at soup kitchens.
New Wiki Language
Brand new expression going around: "So help me, WikiLeaks, I'm telling the truth."
Wiki Will Get You Later
Supreme Court to look at huge sex bias suit vs. Wal-Mart. That's 'bias' not 'buying' in case any on court has misheard the subject.
Angelina Jolie to Sponsor Spoof Writer
Angelina Jolie is going to sponsor a Spoof Writer, because she feels she needs to give back to the community that can't get enough of her big lips.
Kate Perry Still Bitter at 'Sesame Street'
Kate Perry used the "Simpsons" as a platform to show her disgusted with "Sesame Street." She even called out Oscar the Grouch for not giving her the respect she deserves.
UK pizza chain employ Ku Klux Klan members!
An incident involving black footie players and Pizza Hut employees dressed in white hoods, white gowns and shoes has raised the question, is Pizza Hut racist? No! It's only their Xmas uniforms?
Times Are Hard
"The Goodfather Mansion" is up for sale, proving that times are hard even for the mob.
Reward for Missing Weasel
Half a pound of tuppenny rice,
Half a pound of treacle.
That's the way the money goes,
Pop! goes the____.
Alvin of the Chipmunks is for California's Prop 8
Asked why he supports Prop 8, Alvin said, "Why, the big surprise, I've been wishing for a hula hoop for Christmas, since 1958. My partner's right, I'm getting too old for this shit, ever Christmas."
"Dandy" Don Dead
"Dandy" Don Meredith, a football legend has died. Only Frank Gifford left of the trio (Howard Cosell) left of original commentators on original "Monday Night Football". I miss your days, Don!
A Really Big Shoe!
Thrown shows knee deep on floor as Democrats and Republicans work out new tax, workman's comp bill.
UFO Probee Meeting
First meeting of UFO Probees Anonymous meets in New Orleans. Over 100,000 bow-legged victims.
Manson Caught With Cell Phone
Charles Manson caught with cellphone in his cell. So far, he had organized over 20 'families' before guards discovered it.
WikiLeaks Leak On Themselves
WikiLeaks report that some things on WikiLeaks are false but not to reveal this to the public.
More WikiLeaks
Revealed: USA Manipulated Climate Accord! China manipulated climate!
Tiger Loses Another One
Graeme McDowell denies Tiger victory in Sherwood playoff. Over one year since a win and counting.
American Gypsies Hit The Road
RV industry rebounding, led by smaller trailers as so many losing their traditional houses.
"Dance You Varmint!"
Bristol Palin: Mom didn't force her to dance. "Although she used to do political opponents do that while firing at their feet."
Not Forced To Dance
Bristol Palin: Mom didn't force her to dance. "If you want to call it that."
Palin Goes Camping With Kate Plus Eight
Palin goes camping with Kate plus 8 Gosselin kids. "With Bristol, Willow I may as well get used to this."
Just Comparing Viagra Prices, Hon!
Visited porn? Web browser flaw secretly bares all. Porn visits you? Same result.
Facebook Facelift!
Facebook's new facelift plays up photos, friends so that it's much easier for the proper people to keep up with you.
Climate Changes
Mayan village in Mexico impacted by climate change. "Winter season much different than summer season", say locals.
Man Claims He Is A Computer Technician
A man, 24, claimed that he is a computer technician, but half an hour later, admitted he does not know to switch one on.
Americans Speak Out!
American voices on making the economy move filled with profanity!
Man Claims He Is A Computer Technician
A man, 24, claimed that he is a computer technician, but half an hour later, admitted he does not know to switch one on.
Man Claims He Is A Computer Technician
A man, 24, claimed that he is a computer technician, but half an hour later, admitted he does not know to switch one on.
"What He Mean: Worm Balls?"
Asian shares mixed after Bernanke comments in Chinese did not go well.
Obama To Use Nose Plugs
Obama to speak on tax cuts, economy in NC, which will be known as the "Hog Farm" Speech.
Euros To Get Support From Euros
Eurozone under pressure to aid euro with more cash, or euros!
Helen Thomas Anti-Semitic
ADL calls on universities to strip former White House correspondent Helen Thomas of all professional honors following anti-Jewish speech. Instead, they give her the Golden Hemorrhoid!
Just Say When
Explosive-laden Calif. home to be destroyed. Neighbors taping windows, buying earplugs.
Dems, GOP Near Deal
GOP, Dems nearing deal on taxes, jobless benefits, raises for themselves, pats on the back.
Greenpeace Requires Dedication
Protected seals, members of Greenpeace clubbed to death in New Zealand.
It's The Season For Making Do!
Lobster ports create Christmas trees - from traps. Portal potty owners create brown snowmen from craps.
In Critical Condition
Report: More Government Involvement Needed in Government Involvement Programs.
Your Social Needs
Choose an Employer That Meets Your Social Needs! For instance, who in the office really puts out?
Honored Artists #2
Winfrey, McCartney join top Kennedy Center artists. Winfrey to play "The Star Spangled Banner" on a vuvuzela.
Getting Down To Nitty Gritty
GOP leaders accuse President Obama of not tackling runaway tailbacks.
Really Pays Well
The 50 Best Careers of 2011 led by "Profession computer hacker for the US Government."
WWII Vet Receives Coveted Award
WWII vet receives France's highest honor, The Sacred Platinum Escargot!
Can't Believe Anything Anymore
Over 100 WikiLeaks disproved by Snopes leads WikiLeaks to say Snopes makes things up.
Another Wiki Revelation
WikiLeaks reveal that there have been seven different 'Larry Kings' over the years. "We just stuck old man with heavy makeup like that.
Koreas Still Bickering
SKorea holds naval firing drills amid tension. NKorean troops stick toes across the division line.
Kennedy Center Honors Artists
Winfrey, McCartney join top Kennedy Center artists with Winfrey performing on the spoons.
Warm, Beating Hearts
Doctors testing warm, beating hearts in transplant in Project: Edgar Allen Poe.
Who Cares?
Carbon credit programs fail without climate bill, low interest!
Country Music Auction
Johnny Cash jumpsuit fetches $50,000, Johnny Paycheck's pay check $10 at auction.
TheSpoof Plagiarized By Indiian Group
WikiLeaks reveal that "Thespoof" of India a direct knockoff of the British-based "The Spoof"!
Italian Boat Finds Remains
Italian boat finds remains of US balloonists, lawn chairs.
WikiLeaks Losing Credibility
WikiLeaks uses Swiss Web address as options narrow. Will now be posted on Bulletin Boards with Job Openings.
Two Girls For The Guy & Your Yes Vote!
GOP, Dems nearing deal on taxes, jobless benefits, intern exchanges.
Talk All You Like
A stronger Iran returns to nuclear talks in Geneva. Mostly to brag about new strength.
New Zealand Ignores Law
Protected seals clubbed to death in New Zealand. Maybe that should read "unprotected".
After Dwindling Lobster Catches
Lobster ports create Christmas trees - from traps. Not much use now with lobster fishing down in Maine.
Woman Has Hairy Leg
A woman, found in bangkok, has her left leg shaved and her right unshaved.
Student Visa Abuses Not Addressed
AP IMPACT: US fails to tackle student visa abuses being sold overseas, promising jobs here where there are none.
How's That Again?
Landslide political victory in New Tuberstan buries thousands!
Afghans Approve Of Insurgents
Poll: More Afghans say insurgents are justified. "We deserve to be blown up!"
China Warns On Koreas
China's president warns Obama on growing Korean tensions. We cannot control a mad man.
Boy Has Macaroni For Tea
A boy in Bangkok, had macaroni for his tea.
Nothing Changed
GOP, Democrats nearing deal on taxes and jobless benefits. The same 'worked out' deal they have been making for 50 years.
Nigerians Prosecute Cheney for Selling Bad Email Addresses
Nigerians angry. "We're supposed to do the scamming, but Cheney scammed US!"
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