Order by:
Rating:

New Weapon Deployed

US deploys 'game-changer' weapon to Afghanistan. "We call it, the Taliblaster!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Unemployed W/O Benefits

FDA: Cutting off unemployment checks wild cut back everyone's spending on holidays...except for alcohol.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

New Cab Rules

New York City Considers Cab-Driver Dress Code! No shoeless, shirtless from now on.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

No More Taxes

Euro zone crisis concern for U.S. President Obama says US might help bail them out. US citizens say, WE are not going to pay for it. No More Taxes!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Joe Is Talkative!

WikiLeaks has 50 pages of VP Joe Biden quotes and more to be released.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Students laugh over Cameron slip

David Cameron cut himself, slipping on Ice. A group of Students were seen laughing at him.

written by Julian Shure, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Global Double-Dip Recession!

The Danger of a Global Double Dip Recession Is Real! In fact, with a European bailout, it's all but here already.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

And It's Only Wednesday

The Supreme Court is questioning the government's broad use of exemption in the federal Freedom of Information Act to withhold documents from the public as Obama broadsided for third time this week.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

How Much Is Gold Again?

The United States to bail out the fallen Euro with the fallen dollar!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Newspapers To Make A Comeback?

Perfluoroalkyls Used in Fast Food Wrappers Show Up in Human Blood. Better to wrap in newspapers.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

But Now It's Official

WH: 'We're Not Scared of One Guy With a Laptop'. 'Everyone with half sense would know we were crooks from way back.'

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Your Mike Is Open, Senator

Dem Sen. Bennett On Lame Duck Session: "It's All Rigged"

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Police Force Layoff

Cash-Strapped Newark Forced To Lay Off 14% Of Police Force. Crime up 13-15%, say city officials.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Cur Expenses, Increase Income

Commission's deficit plan includes sharp cuts in military, higher retirement age, tax changes, clean fresh hookers.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Wikileaks reveals more #2

Wikileaks has revealed that Julian Assange lived much of this past year in the Chilean mine from which 33 miners were rescued. "It was great" he said "I played with my Nintendo Wii the whole time."

written by whatinthe world, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Biden Botches Another One

Biden botches swearing-in of senator. Says he's more use to swearing at.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Big Of Him!

SACRIFICE: Obama offers to delay Hawaiian, Paris, Martha's Vineyard vacations for tax talks...

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Obama: We Can Keep Buying Oil!

Obama reneges on pledge to open more areas to oil drilling. Tea Party say they will keep that in mind when he asks for their votes on anything.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

More Wikileaks leaks

Wikileaks has revealed that the world was not created by a big bang but by a CIA backed coup. Other revelations show that Elvis is not dead, WWII never happened and butter is better than margarine.

written by whatinthe world, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Flight Attendant Jobs Available

100,000 Apply for 1,000 Flight Attendant Jobs. Don't say Americans not looking for work.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Makes Perfect Sense To Idiots

Bonds sink on report of US aid to Europe while we're 13 trillion in debt.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Snoop Dogg Writes Special Song

Snoop Dogg pens bachelor party song for W-W-W-William!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Snipes To Prison

Snipes ordered to Pa. prison for tax evasion after Feds go on Snipe hunt!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Wikileaks reveals more

Wikileaks has revealed that the Beatles split up over a five pound bet John had with Paul that he (Lennon) could spit further than McCartney. When he proved the fact, Paul refused to pay. Shame!!

written by whatinthe world, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Home Grown Organs

NY pilot expands organ recovery to at-home deaths. Be sure to call before looking for that bucket to kick.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

We Are Not Alone

Speculation: Life has been discovered beyond Earth all over the Internet after NASA's plans for a briefing of scientists who study unusual life forms. "Classify them by their different foreheads."

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Obama Wany Us To Fail?

Obama: No offshore drilling in East Coast waters as US oil-fed economy slumps further. Does Obama Want US to fail?

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Irekland Discloses Bailout

Ireland discloses bailout deal details. But first, a wee trip over to the pub.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Twitter Lady Gaga Dead?

Lady Gaga is dead - or off Twitter, anyway. And isn't that the same thing? Close!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

The night sky may be a lot starrier than we thought.

A study suggests the universe could have triple the number of stars scientists previously calculated. For those of you counting, the new estimate: 300,000,000,000,000,000,000,034.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Russia Upset

Russian fury on eve of World Cup vote as Putin blasts Britain bid!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Obama Takes Hypocritic Oath

Social Security cuts are part of deficit plan. Blind and lame will pay President's family shopping trips.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

I Spy!

White House: Clinton didn't order diplomats to spy. "We only hired people to spy", say US diplomats.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Little Guy Screwed Again

Social Security cuts are part of deficit plan. But congressmen favorite pet projects and billions in traveling etc, not touched.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Obama Thinking about Sticking to Golf

Obama is thinking about sticking with golf, because basketball is just to hard on his body, and making him move around like an old man.

written by UWGB-Beek, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Neve Campbell Getting Divorced

Neve Campbell didn't want anyone to know she was getting divorced, but her lack of public attention played a keep in no one knowing she got divorced from her husband John Light.

written by UWGB-Beek, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Gore Having A Ball In London

Airports closed as Europe shivers in fresh snowfalls. London visitor Al Gore dug out from under 2,000 snowballs.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Times They Are A-Changing

Baby Names Reveal More About Parents Than Ever Before! Few name grandchildren after their own parents, Moondog and Rainbow.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Slip Of The Tongue

Clinton calls new Iran nuclear talks encouraging. Then realizes that she had said that "encouraging" term on all those WikiLeaks.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Kate Gosselin: Kids Not Expelled

Kate Gosselin said her children weren't expelled from school, they were just asked to kindly go to a different school.

written by UWGB-Beek, 01 December 2010
Rating:

NKorean Wants Peace

NKorean soldier at border wishes for peace. Admits Kim crazy as a loon.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Officials Upset With Ban

Official: Feds won't end drilling ban off Florida. "They'll sit on their ass and let Cuba get it. Then look for a lot of spills because they don't care."

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Retirement Age in United States Will Be 95 Years Old, Starting Next Year

Social Security won't go away, but the age you can retire at will be changed to 95 years old, because people are just living longer.

written by UWGB-Beek, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Lame Duck Floating

Lame-duck agenda features political votes means congress will merely float, until January.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

'Mule' Arrested In Kentucky

Fat lady in Bear Wallow, Kentucky found with a bag of marijuana crammed up her butt. "Your ass is grass", says local sheriff.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

End To Ban Poses Little Risk

End to gay ban poses little risk for military according to the Penis Gone......Pentagon.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Too Late?

INTERPOL issues global arrest request for WikiLeaks' Assange. Too late say many as Leslie Nielson has died.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Cartel Arrests Failed Objective

AP IMPACT: Cartel arrests did not curb drug trade. Like the Taliban, there is always someone to take over.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Betty White wonders if Cloris Leachman is still conscious

"I had that Aussie boy toy, Julian Assange, in Queensland when he called my thingy, his didgeridoo and, I might add, it doesn't leak."

written by JAB, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Republican Relish Roll of Spoiled Child

Republicans want tax cuts for rich, screw the rest, and they will act like spoiled children till they get their way.

written by UWGB-Beek, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Wiki Joe? Wiki Marie?

Baby Names Reveal More About Parents Than Ever Before! Over 200 babies named Wiki since Friday.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Return Nuclear Material To Russia?

Former Soviet republic giving up nuclear materials. "We're going to return them to Russia." Won't say how!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Cloris Leachman plans to sue WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange

"When I went out with Julian he used to lovingly call my nether region Wiki, now the bastard is telling the whole world the damn thing leaks, some things are meant to be kept secret between lovers."

written by JAB, 01 December 2010
Rating:

What Happened To Oil-Eaters?

ReporterRichard Harris took a dive to bottom of the Gulf on Monday with University of Georgia researcher Samantha Joye in a titanium-hulled deepwater sub named Alvin. What did they find? BP Oil.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Mercury in the body causes homosexual behaviour (in birds)!

Hetro males living near chemical factories, steelworks, raffineries, etc, beware, too much mercury in the body can turn you into a homo, ask Freddy!

written by Jaggedone, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Iran Offices Shut Down

Iran shuts offices because of heavy air pollution..or it could be a nuclear meltdown. Either way, offices are shut.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Maybe We Need That?

Europe pins hopes on ECB as crisis fears spread. Refuses to identify what ECB is, exactly.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

What's In YOUR Silos?

The former Soviet republic of Belarus announced Wednesday that it will give up its stockpile of material used to make nuclear weapons by 2012...2050 by the latest.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

ObamaCare Wrangle #12 & 35

Va. judge dismisses challenge to Obama health care. Tea Party disagrees. "We'll block everything that would turn our government into becoming a socialist state."

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Arrival Of The "Game Changer"

US deploys 'game-changer' weapon to Afghanistan: Soap! Once they get their first soaking, skin not use to desert.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Montreal Football Fans are Pissed,eh

"The Canadian Football League's Montreal Alouettes won the Grey Cup & everyone's talking about friggin' WikiLeaks", said ex Mayor Johnny Flag --- "Merde."

written by JAB, 01 December 2010
Rating:

New Report Embraced

Conrad, Gregg embrace deficit-commission's report: Take a loan from drug kings in Mexico & then wipe them out. "You hear that Wiki?"

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Get Paid More Not Working

2 million lose jobless benefits as holidays arrive. Most the same ones who were jobless this time last year.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Wiki Fallouts

Wikileaks Fallout: Clinton Repairs Relations! However, Bill had already stated, "That sounds like her big mouth."

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Hillary's WikiLeaks Are Wrong

Obama: Someone impersonated many of us Democrats with WikiLies!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Clinton Flubs Dismissed

White House: Clinton didn't order diplomats to spy. Those official records are wrong...unless it's about Bush.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

All Fowled Up

Lame-Duck Congress beginning to fowl up the whole works. It could be the best thing that has happened in years.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Lame Duck Stuck

Senate Republicans threatened Wednesday to block virtually all legislation until expiring tax cuts are extended. "The tax cuts help people hire workers, it's as simple as Biden."

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Drug cartels to sue Google

Outraged by new GoogleEarth app: GoogleUnderworld. "We'll sue'em. This is worse than Wikileaks exposing American military," says kingpin Pablo Escapebars.

written by Hawking's Chair, 01 December 2010
Rating:

TSA Offering Free Breast Exams with Every Flight

TSA announced free breast exams with every flight taken in the United States. They hope this will ease the panic induced by their groping/pat-downs.

written by UWGB-Beek, 01 December 2010
Rating:

WikiLeaks Julian Assange Still Missing

Everyone is looking for Julian Assange, but they can't seem to find the WikiLeaks founder. If anyone knows where to find him, they should call Interpol.

written by UWGB-Beek, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Lobbying For World Cup Destination

Frenzied lobbying as World Cup D-day looms. However, according to WikiLeaks, it was decided two years ago.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

War Games End

US, S.Korea wrap up war games amid N.Korea crisis. Close with chest butts!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Bear Wallow To Light Up

Downtown Bear Wallow, Kentucky to light up on Thursday. No, not Holidays, it's "Marijuana Thursday" celebrated monthly!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Hillary Should Resign

WikiLeaks founder Assange to TIME: Clinton 'should resign'. Last word heard from Assange after disappearance.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

More Damage At Pompeii

2 walls give way in latest Pompeii collapse. 120 new 'frozen-in-time' victims of volcano found. "This may bring even more tourists", say authorities.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

More WikiLeaks #3

New WikiLeak reveals that John Kennedy usually referred to Ted Kennedy as "Head Kennedy".

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Mel Brooks Spoof

Mel Brooks will begin filming spoof of The Hobbit called The Bobbit!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

More WikiLeaks #4

New WikiLeaks show that Bill Clinton lived in fear of castration after Hillary's visit of Bobbit.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

More WikiLeaks #2

WikiLeaks show that Sarah Palin killed the last Bigfoot in Alaska and has skin made into rug

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

More WikiLeaks

WikiLeaks show that there really was another gunman on the grassy knoll.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

HIV Testing In Zimbabwe

US launches HIV testing program in Zimbabwe. If it works out well there, we'll use it here.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Euro Crisis Spreads

Euro crisis worries spread as anything that happens in Europe has a bad history.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Putin Tells Obama To Be Smart

Putin: failure to ratify START would be 'dumb'. But many Americans say that a good old-fashioned nuclear race might just get economy going again.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Only A Few Are With Terorist Groups?

Spanish police arrest 7 linked to al-Qaida. That's 273,989 so far.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Palin Upset

Sarah Palin said to be upset over NKorea shelling SKorea. "Has Atlanta fallen yet?"

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

NKorean soldier at border wishes for peace!

Why not reconsider surrendering and we can all be one Korea once again?

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

President Off To A Good Fart

President Obama Talks with new Congressional Leaders. Answered by practiced quartet of farts.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Food Safety #2

How the new food safety bill might affect you. Everything must be washed eleven times, chewed 12.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

New Food Safety

How the new food safety bill might affect you: You can only eat food grown by you and other within 100 miles. Huge savings in gas for vehicles.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

A Sputnik Moment

US: China rise a 'Sputnik moment' for clean energy. So where are the windmills, solar houses and fast trains across the US?

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Or So It Seems

National debt: Will anyone buy Obama panel's bold plan to overthrow America?

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Mr. Potato Head #3

Washington state potato booster in spuds-only protest. Loses 20 pounds. Keeps mumbling "This Spud's For You".

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Mr. Potato Head #2

Washington state potato booster in spuds-only protest. Cancels trip to Ireland.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Mr. Potato Head

Washington state potato booster in spuds-only protest. Lost 20 pounds eating only potatoes for a month. Nothing much the last week. "I never want to see another potato."

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

"Five More Years, I Quit!"

2 million lose jobless benefits as holidays arrive. Should benefits last for five more years?

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Pakistan Nukes Worry Many

WikiLeaks: US worried over Pakistani nuke material. Kim of NKorea having little sense.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Digging Deeper

Digging Deeper into Proposal to Cut National Debt! Many like idea of highly paid politicians charged for expensive lifestyles on taxpayer money.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Social Security Cuts?

Social Security cuts are part of deficit plan but 'bridges to nowhere' not to be cut. Why not cut out S.S. for those making over $250,000 a year.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

China Blocks WikiLeaks

WikiLeaks website blocked behind Chinese firewall. "Let's all block them", says Hillary.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Congress Begins Standstill

Lawmakers stand firm on taxes as talks start. Neither side giving an inch. So it's 'plying footsy time for two years.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Juilan Assange karaoke's to AC/DC's Big Balls

At a Wikileaks celebration party in an undisclosed location outside of London, Julian Assange leads fellow supporters in a rousing rendition of AC/DC's hymn to testicular one-upmanship.

written by Juvenal Delinquent, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Top Tip:

Men - be careful, especially when shaving, not to slice open your carotid artery. It will not end well for you.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Whole Lotta Shaking Goin' On in NYC

An earthquake registering 3.9 on the Richter scale hit Manhattan on Tuesday morning. One resident claims that it was the biggest shake up since the last financial crisis.

written by Charpa93, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Wikileaks site said to be brought down by 'ethical hacker'

Well that rules out the U.S. Government then.

written by Juvenal Delinquent, 01 December 2010
Rating:

"He can't fool one!"

Queen said to be secretly convinced WikiLeaks tell-all founder is actually Andrew Morton in disguise.

written by Catherine the Average, 01 December 2010
Rating:

"And just what the hell were you thinking?"

Having demonstrated promise during speeches, Prince Andrew engaged to act as substitute host of Jeremy Kyle show.

written by Catherine the Average, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Police: Get The Magnifying Glass!

No one had noticed it before but apparently for the past two months Snooki and Nick Nolte's mug shots were reversed.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Prince Andrew reinvigorates despairing Guardian reporters

Royal criticism gives tired, weedy staff a new reason to live.

written by Catherine the Average, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Big Snow In England

Sorry, no trains tonight: Commuters left with travel nightmare as lines shut down in the snow and the worst is still to come. There a line of drunks two miles long trying to find their way home.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Wikileaks Royal family names

Wikileaks coins Royal names! 'The Dinner lady'-Queen 'That Old Bag'-Camilla 'The Alcoholic Prince'-Charles 'Dirty old man'-Philip 'Cedric'-Harry 'King Arthur?'-William.

written by Julian Shure, 01 December 2010
Rating:

WikiLeaks! WikiLeaks! WikiLeaks!

Climate Change, Gold Price "feel like Jan Brady"

written by Catherine the Average, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Charles to take advantage of WikiLeaks Distraction

Queen Camilla to be crowned tomorrow.

written by Catherine the Average, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Do you really want to piss me off?

WikiLeaks founder Asshange hits back at comics making fun of his surname.

written by Catherine the Average, 01 December 2010
Rating:

New Dog Breed Love To Breed

Amy Winehouse discovers why her dogs were called "Leg Hounds"!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2010
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