Order by:
Rating:

Zsa Zsa Latest

Zsa Zsa Gabor hospitalized until at least Monday, Dahling!

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Spike Lee Says Oil Still There

Spike Lee bashes US report on vanished Gulf oil. "It's still there, hiding behind whales and shit like that."

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Taliban Get Scolding

Clinton condemns slaying of aid workers. "That was a bad bad thing! Taliban bad...bad!"

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Look That One's Got Six Legs!

Ariz. escapees believed to be in Yellowstone area disguised as Bison.

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

King Returns Dance

Michelle Obama meets Spain's king and does a small dance in his honor.

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Obama Tell Biden To Nip It!

Nun's death rallies anti-immigration forces. VP Joe Biden says the George Bush Administration pushed the nun in front of the drunk driver.

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Diplomat Rejected

Chavez: US diplomat won't be accepted as envoy. Diplomat asks if he'd accept a kick in the ass.

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Ancient Bison Not Rescued

Ancient bison kill site uncovered in Montana. GreenPeace hurries off to see who killed these ancient bison.

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Island Calves

Huge ice island calves off Greenland glacier! GreenPeace hurries to save calves!

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Taliban Bunch Of Jerks

Slain doctors brought medical care to Afghans, biting the hands that were feeding them.

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Obama Tours Saigon MoPed Factory...Likes What He Sees!

Obama took the wheel of a 50cc bike and 8 Vietnamese hopped on behind him for a spin through the parking lot. "Well", Said Barry, "it's not for me, but I bet Barney Frank would love to try it!"

written by Morse, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Michelle Takes Close Friends to China Sea for Day of Surfing!

Flying in for the weekend, Michelle and 75 close friends had the beach to themselves after it was cordoned off. "For the 2nd time in my life, I'm proud to be an American...Hey, what's for dinner?"

written by Morse, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Obama Visits Mass Grave in Hue, Offers Insight!

"These people should just have made a better attempt to communicate and understand the 'other side.' I know it works for me...you've just got to be more tolerant and patient...and send a lot of money!

written by Morse, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Obama Views Famous John Kerry 'swift boat' in Hanoi Museum!

Refuses to commit on shit stains in pilots helm seat or' blood stains' later determined to be ketchup which enabled Kerry to Exit the campaign 3 months early.

written by Morse, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Obama Views Famous Anti-Air Craft Gun Jane Fonda Sat on in Hanoi!

He also sniffed it...but not in a distainful way.

written by Morse, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Obama Avoids Site of Buddist Burnings in Saigon!

A spokesman said Barry just had no interest. Said Barry off camera, "No big fucking deal...they got off easy, where I come from they stone 'em to death...especially the women. Pussies!"

written by Morse, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Obama Orders 2 dozen New Suits from Saigon Tailor During Visit!

Luckily,the tailor, Ngung Phoug Mei, still has existing patterns from Nehru Suits popular years back and worn by village organizers who terrorized farmers
and redistributed their rice during the war.

written by Morse, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Obama Becomes First American to Chu Hoi!

Barry becomes an honorary 'Hoi Chanh' as he repudiates America, Capitalism, Freedom and promises to 'lay down arms of aggression' at Saigon State Dinner
announcing new trade agreement with Vietnam.

written by Morse, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Obama Visits Hanoi Hilton To View Room Where McCain Spent 5 years!

Emerging from the cell a smiling Obama declared, "shit, it's better than rooms in Detroit, and a lot better than my brother George's pad in Kenya...what's the big F*****g deal!"

written by Morse, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Obama Plays 18 at Bien Hoa Airport Course & Survives, But Caddy Killed in Mine Accident!

Obama apologizes but says," I knew the drive was out of bounds, but , it was a brand new Pro V1...them fuckers cost $5 a piece plus $1 for the Presidential Seal....I can't afford that kind of shit!"

written by Morse, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Ted Turner & Jane Fonda Donate 100 Bison to Vietnam!

Said Ted, "they can't plow for shit and hate water, but you can eat the bastards and they don't taste bad with a little nuoc mam sauce over rice!"
(Nuoc Mam is Vietnam's version of Marmite XXXO)

written by Morse, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Vietnam Resells 500,000 Abandoned M-16s on World Market After Making them 'Jam Proof.'

Didn't take long to figure out technology was too advanced and tolerances too tight. Recoil and ejection parts replaced with spare parts from Kalashnkovs which are never needed for $.25 a unit.

written by Morse, 08 August 2010
Rating:

56,000 People Dead, And Some Still like Michelin Tyres!

Uncle Ho was a staunch ally during WWII but US rebuffed his efforts to gain freedom from French Colonialism. Some say US entered war to protect rubber plantation for French who don't appreciate SHIT!

written by Morse, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Obama Puzzled after Visiting Chu Chi Tunnels During Vietnam Tour!

"40 years and you haven't plugged these F*****g holes yet? Your press must be in the tank for Ho Chi Minh!"

written by Morse, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Obama Visit to Saigon Helps to Resistribute Wealth!

Walking tour of Tu Do street costs American Taxpayers over $124,000 as Barry & Secret Service tricked into buying Saigon Tea for charming local guides.

written by Morse, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Vietnam Tries to Even Balance of Trade with US!

Returns 3,275 pallets of Pabst Blue Ribbon found in outdoor jungle supply depot that not even Marines would drink.

written by Morse, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Obama Heralds New Partnership with Vietnam in two words!

SIN LOY! (sorry bout that)

written by Morse, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Obama Apologizes and bows to Viet Nam over 'misunderstanding'

Says mathematics involved in McNamara's Body Count Policy were flawed and led to 'change nobody believed in. Vows " GM will make it up to you as we have new accounting procedures!"

written by Morse, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Vietnam Finally Tells Truth to US at Beer 31 Summit!

Jane Fonda faked her orgasm whilst sitting on the cannon!

written by Morse, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Lance Has New Book

Lance Armstrong Admits to Doing Sheryl Crow using only one ball, in new book out in January.

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Witness Kind Of Vague

Suspect at large after man shot in vehicle on I-680. Witness says it was a man or woman with what looked like a gun or tank. Didn't really pay attention.

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Mixed Grade Of Oil

Allen gives BP mixed grade for oil spill response. Part oil, part sea water.

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Foot Soldier Screwed As Usual

Former enemies US, Vietnam now military mates! Politicians try to explain 56,000 deaths.

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

All Depends Which Decade, Century You're In!

Former enemies US, Vietnam now military mates. Join Japan, Germany, Italy, Great Brittain. Quit supplying weapons to Taliban to fight Russians.

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Vietnam, US Now War Buddies

US complets war supplies shipments to Vietnam. It gets harder and harer to identify enemies these days.

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Early SS Retirement

Forced to retire, some take Social Security early, like a hundred dollars a month at 45.

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

New Study I Guess

Narcissistic Men Typically Direct Their Rage at Straight Women. Leave bent ones alone.

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

US-Vietnam Now Buddies

Former enemies US, Vietnam now military mates. "What say we go over and kick Iran's ass?"

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

US/Vietnam Buddies

Former enemies US, Vietnam now military mates. "What's old Cambodia up to these days?"

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

US & Vietnam War Buddies

Former enemies US, Vietnam now military mates. "Why were we so stupid? Eight years! Duh!"

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

US/Vietnam Buddies

Former enemies US, Vietnam now military mates. "Sing Country Joe & Fish "WE're All Going To Die".

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

US-Vietnam Chums #2

Former enemies US, Vietnam now military mates. Laugh over Tet Offensive!

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

US/Vietnam Buddies

Former enemies US, Vietnam now military mates. John McCains buy hotel there.

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

CEO Settles With Accuser

AP source: Ousted HP CEO settles with accuser. "I'm down to my last millione", he tells press while holding out his hat.

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Future Course Set

Personality Set for Life By 1st Grade, Study Suggests. If you're a little bitch at six, you'll be a big one by sixty!

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

First Grade Is It

Personality Set for Life By 1st Grade, Study Suggests! If you fill your pants at six, you will by 66!

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Medicare Fraud

Medicare's private eyes let fraud cases get cold as they are now behind some 20,000 cases.

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Fidel Castro returns from the dead with a massive "Cuba Libra!"

Castro, Cuban revolutionary President returns from the dead promising to continue to f**k imperialistic Yankee pigs and f**k every long-legged Cuban beauty who crosses his path, una Cuba libra mas!

written by Jaggedone, 08 August 2010
Rating:

New Wembley Surface

The FA announced this morning that the Wembley surface will be relayed with old copies of newspapers. A spokesman defended this bizarre decision by saying that "England are a good team on paper."

written by Philip Wright, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Robbie Williams is "straight" Take f*****g That!

Robbie Williams, gay icon and worshipped by many of them has stuffed em all and married a female, shocking Ducky! There's still hope yet!

written by Jaggedone, 08 August 2010
Rating:

FDA declares Gulf seafood safe to eat

Unless you don't like toxic, cancer causing chemicals infused into your Seafood, then it's probably not a good idea to eat it but other than that, it's fine.

written by satirewriter, 08 August 2010
Rating:

T-H-A-T-S O-K!

Misunderstanding mechanical voice, assistant brings Stephen Hawking a black Ho.

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Chicken Abuse

Chicken abuse now blamed on a few bad colonels, especially bird colonels.

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Keeps Class Awake

Report: College classes called too boring will have changing backdrop slides of nude females, males.

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Channel 577 On Cable

Lame television aimed at kids, adults in second childhood!

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Scientist Too Late

Too late, scientists who discovered space elevator finds out that it leads to Mother Ship.

written by Bureau, 08 August 2010
Rating:

The Mute Button

Grandpa why do you mute the TV when Pres Obama speaks? Son I listened to every speech of the last 10 US Presidents, but this man talks, says nothing important & blames everyone else for his errors!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Balance the Budget

The fallacy of letting the Bush tax cuts expire to pay down the deficit is that Congress will find other ways to blow the money. Any Congress (Dem. or Rep.) must stop spending and balance the budget!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 August 2010
Rating:

KFC to Serve Duck

KFC to add duck, as well as serving chicken, to their fast food menu for a short period in mid-November 2010. Apparently there will be a plethora of "lame ducks" available!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Political Jargon

Democrats are constantly "Bush bashing!" Republicans are now striking back via "Obama objurgation!" (Look it up in your Merriam-Webster dictionary.)

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Confused Elementary School Student

A discussion of gay marriage led to an elementary school student being sent to the principal's office. The student asked his teacher "how does a penis fit inside another penis?"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 August 2010
Rating:

A Fine Legal Point

Prostitute asks to be reclassified as a slot machine. Her lawyer argued that slot machines are legal in many of the states, while prostitution is not!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Rally for MLB Players

Congress ban of MLB players using chewing tobacco, scratching crotches & patting each other's butts sparks a rally on the Capitol steps. Feminists, sport fans, ACLU & many diverse groups participate.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Riot at Rally for MLB Players

Police called to Capitol steps to restore order. Feminists, sport fans, ACLU & many diverse groups began chewing tobacco, scratching each other's crotches & patting each other's butts sparking a riot.



written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Safety First

OSHA orders the EPA to cut down every tree in the USA. This act will save lives and protect property (houses, cars, boats) from falling tree damage when thunderstorms, hurricanes and tornadoes occur!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Obama's New Plan to Reduce Unemployment Numbers

President Obama asks Congress for $10 billion to buy unemployed US workers airline tickets to India and China, where their jobs went. Thus, by the November elections US unemployment will be reduced!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 August 2010
Rating:

The Long and the Short of it

Milwaukee WI teachers union is fighting to get its taxpayer funded drug Viagra reinstated. Union members are facing layoffs, which mean the male teacher's are coming up short everywhere!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Déjà vu

84 year old Fidel Castro told parliament he would not remove the missiles from Cuba unless President Obama lifted the blockade. Cuban officials indicated Fidel's cryogenic capsule had malfunctioned!



written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 August 2010
Rating:

The Pennsylvania Amish Are Starting To Roll Into Modern Times

Pennsylvania declares that the state will purchase automobiles for the entire Amish community. One Amish leader Sol Burkerwitz asks if the state can also throw in garages.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 August 2010
Rating:

All of Mississippi's Restaurants Say That They Will Comply With The New Restaurant Directive

The state of Mississippi has just banned the use of the words "Road Kill" in any of its restaurant menus.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Will All of The NBA's Japanese Players Please Stand Up

A group calling itself The White Oriental Folk of Louisiana protest in front of The New Orleans Arena saying that the NBA has way too many black players and not enough Japanese players.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 August 2010
Rating:

The State of Massachusetts Is Sorry For Burning Up All of Those Salem Witches

Massachusetts apologizes for burning dozens of Salem witches at the stake. One senator said that just because a woman just happened to look like a witch was no reason to turn her into a brisket.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 August 2010
Rating:

Cher, Who is 89, Explains Why She Is So Upset

The former singer known as Cher says that she is really upset because she just noticed that her wrinkles now have wrinkles.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 August 2010
« Jul 2010 August 2010 Sep 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
92
2nd
63
3rd
111
4th
105
5th
106
6th
125
7th
125
8th
73
9th
84
10th
105
11th
139
12th
92
13th
99
14th
123
15th
95
16th
79
17th
122
18th
90
19th
115
20th
83
21st
93
22nd
119
23rd
106
24th
90
25th
96
26th
100
27th
99
28th
114
29th
81
30th
90
31st
107
 

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