Order by:
Rating:

Yoga Healthful!

Scientists say that yoga could ward off diseases, just like wine. So those winos sleeping with heels in the air over a bench they fell off, may be there forever.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Hitler Had Jewish Ancestry

DNA tests reveal Hitler had Jewish ancestry! Explains his resemblance to Moe Howard.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

They Have A Point There

Native Americans demand right to build huge casino right beside mosque. "Get some of our money back for Manhattan!"

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Beck Has Dream Also!

Glenn Beck: I had this dream the other night about speaking before a huge audience of millions, and they were all illegal aliens!

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Extreme Makeover, Oval Office Edition

On President Obama's first day back in the office from his tenth vacation in three months, he has returned to a freshly redecorated Oval Office with a jungle-theme to make the President feel at home.

written by Moose, 30 August 2010
Rating:

The Utah Mormons Have Made The Network Change The Title of The Cooking Reality Show - Hell's Kitchen

Due to the Mormon influence in Utah. The reality cooking show Hell's Kitchen in Utah will be known as Heck's Kitchen.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 August 2010
Rating:

The Kardashian Sisters May Lose Their Reality TV Show Unless They...

The Kardashian sisters, who star in Growing Up Kardashian, have been told by the producer to please lose a lot of weight in their butts because their butts are taking up the whole TV viewing screen.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 August 2010
Rating:

The Emmy Winning Sit-Com Modern Family Has Two Imitators

The Emmy for Best Comedy went to ABC's Modern Family which shows there's a market for straight actors to play gay actors. NBC begins filming The Gay Family and CBS begins filming The Real Gay Family

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Lindsay "LiLo" Lohan Will Quickly Have Her Own Reality Show

Lindsay Lohan will be starring in a new reality show titled, Count My Freckles Quick Before I Go Back To Prison.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 August 2010
Rating:

The "Rehab" Reality Series Is Really, Really Getting A Bit Out of Hand

Coming this fall the 'Rehab' reality show series will introduce yet another new 'Rehab' show. This one is entitled, Homeless Person Rehab.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 August 2010
Rating:

That Time Already?

BP Oil Well Cap Removal Delayed by High Teas...Seas!

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Rodents, Maggots, Suffer Also!

Rodents, Maggots Found at 2 Iowa Egg Farms. FDA workers say they think they died from salmonella Poisoning.


written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Glenn Beck Rally Numbers

CNN: Glenn Beck Rally Attracts Estimated 87,000! FOX: Glenn Beck Rally Attracts Estimated 870,000! NBC: Glenn Beck Rally Attracts Estimated 8700!

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

A Knuckle Biter!

Everyone excited as the Charles Manson's annual hearing is due soon and we can see if he can get that head all the way around!

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Osama Bin Poe!

For some unknown reason New Yorkers are confusing The Mosque At Ground Zero with The Mask Of The Red Death.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

In Case You Didn't Know

WikiLeaked documents said to reveal that the Pittsburgh Pirates are a piece of crap!

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Ecstasy User Signs on for Jerry Lewis Telethon

Jim Farner signed on to work for Jerry Lewis's telethon this Labor Day after mistaking the Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA) event for a holiday weekend rave fueled by ecstasy, also known as MDMA.

written by Revisorius, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Fergie's knickers were found stuffed inside dead spook's mouth

No clues yet if that's the Duchess of York or Man U boss Sir Alex Ferguson...

written by queen mudder, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Obama: Economy Still Struggling!

Obama acknowledges economy still struggling...but should die soon!

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Castro At Death's Door

Castro Says He Was at 'Death's Door' and the Grim Reaper was looking better than me, so he let me go.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Wildluy Inaccurate!

The UN panel on climate change warning that Himalayan glaciers could melt to a fifth of current levels by 2035 is wildly inaccurate, an academic says. They'll be gone by next summer."

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Interfaith Center At Ground Zero

NYC community board head wants interfaith center. You mean somebody is finally making sense?

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Biden Bids Goodbye

Biden visits Iraq to mark formal end to US combat. "We came, we saw, we left it all!"

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Toilet Sells For $14, 740

John Lennon's toilet sells for $14,740 at auction! 'Imagine' what Elvis or Lenny Bruce toilets would bring.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Late Payments Down

Late payments on auto loans fall in 2nd quarter..as most have been hauled away from owners.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

The Lone Deranger!

The shadowy man behind the mosque? Who is this mosque man?

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Wasted Millions, Still Doing It!

AP Impact: U.S. wasted billions in rebuilding Iraq instead of the US Gulf!

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Sad Day For Baseball

Clemens arrives at federal court for arraignment. Several other players shaking in their shoes.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Hurricane Earl Different

Hurricane Earl is the first Hurricane to have a bloodshot eye, says weathermen.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

US, Except For 49,000 Troops,All Out Of Iraq!

Biden visits Iraq to mark formal end to US combat by talking to 49,000 non-combat troops, apparently.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Putin Waxes Nostalgic!

Putin Belittles Russia's Opposition, Says Police Will Still Break Up Unauthorized Rallies, Beat With Them Truncheons!

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Sound Familiar?

21,000 people evacuated as Indonesian volcano continues to spew ash for miles around. Airlines grounded.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Change Men's To 'A-Hole'

Love, the pet name that British women hate, especially in the workplace. Many men are switching to 'Pet'.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Wrong Cuts?

Legendary Gurkha regiment under threat as MoD spending cuts dig deep. Several nations interested.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Ruins Ending Of Play (Book)

An entry most foul: Wikipedia puts an end to the secret of Agatha Christie's The Mousetrap. Next: "The Case of the Missing Wikipedia People".

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Intensive Care Brawl

Mother and baby in intensive care after doctors' violent brawl in delivery room delays birth. "They were calling each other 'quacks'"

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Schoolgirl Kicked Off Plane

Schoolgirl kicked off Ryanair plane after crew force family to buy extra seat for violin. "We try to keep violins off our planes."

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Iran Into Name-Calling!

Iran media call French first lady 'prostitute'. "We don't have any of them in Iran!"

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Glenn Beck Bringing Hate Back

Glenn Beck is glad to bring back hate in American culture. He gloated about it on Saturday as a statue of Abraham Lincoln looked down at Beck. One viewer claimed that the statue of Lincoln was crying.

written by UWGB-Beek, 30 August 2010
Rating:

'Modern Family' scores upset in best gay comedy Emmy win

LOS ANGELES, CA - It was the "Glee" gay misfits versus the "Modern Family" gay brood at the Primetime Gay Emmys here on Sunday night, and the family took the top gay prize.

written by Moose, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Prince Charles Weird

'Prince Charles shouldn't be our king - he's just strange' says New Zealand politician. And we all know how normal politicians are.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Manny Changes Sox

White Sox land Manny Ramirez for stretch run..or in the case of Manny, stretch walk!

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Government Jobs Growing

Economists agree: Stimulus created nearly 3 million jobs, 2.8 in the government.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Our Turn Next!

Small businesses stall on jobs, wait for aid. "No use hiring until we see what happens."

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Tired Of Inside The Party Bickering?

If President Obama has a big economic initiative up his sleeve, as he hinted recently, now would be a good time to let the rest of us in on it. Does he want some Dems removed in November elections?

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Sabotaged Early

German banker sparks outrage: 'All Jews share a certain gene'. Just in time for peace talks.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Congresswoman Violated Rules

Dem Congresswoman violated rules, steered scholarships to relatives. nobody does that and gets away with it in Washington!

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

New Hawaii Five-O!

CBS HAS HIGH HOPES FOR 'HAWAII FIVE-0' REMAKE. Plan 100% more bikinis!

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Pope Signs To Be Placed On Buses!

"Ordain women," "Stay off the kids" London bus ads will urge Pope.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Wie, Wie All The Way Home!

Wie wins CN Canadian Open for second LPGA victory. Beginning to live up to potential.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Omega-3 Doesn't Help!

Study: More omega-3 fats didn't aid heart patients. Should switch to heavy drinking. (See other snippet)

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Test Comes First

Mongolian Cabinet holds meeting in Gobi desert. Actually they were taken there and left to find the way out.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Indian Officials Meet

Indian officials to meet to decide BlackBerry ban, what exactly happened to the Anasazi!

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Genzyme rejects Sanofi-Aventis Offer?

Genzyme rejects Sanofi-Aventis offer, turns down dowanger and Crigagoatnog! Got that?

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Obama Commits Revival Of Gulf

Obama commits to revival of Gulf Coast! Plans an old time tent meeting!

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

A report says that Americans are surprised to learn that chillies are mined...

...they thought they grew on shrubs or something.

written by matthatt, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Smith Case Won't Go Away

Nannies could testify in Anna Nicole Smith case, butt not Billies.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

NYC Mosque Debate

NYC mosque debate will shape American Islam, landscape!

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Putin Belittles Political Opponents

Putin belittles Russia's political opposition. "Not worth the poison!"

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Volcano Erupts!

Indonesian volcano erupts again, spewing hot ash! Apparently it spewed cold ash the time before?

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Kim Really Is In China

Chinese state TV confirms visit by NKorea's Kim, although you still can't see his head when he turns sideways.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Makes Sense

Titian masterpiece suffers water damage after fire. Probably had fire damage DURING the fire!

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Looking Forward To Winter?

Farmers' Almanac: Kinder, gentler winter, lots of great beer on tap.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Let's All Celebrate

Heavy drinkers outlive nondrinkers, study finds. "I'll be right back after going outside and firing bullets into the air!"

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Heavy Drinkers Are Longer Livers!

Heavy drinkers outlive nondrinkers, study finds. Skinny drinkers ask for more facts.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Heavy Drinkers Win?

Heavy drinkers outlive nondrinkers, study finds. However, those on study came out crawling.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

How About Those On The Road Near Pubs, Clubs?

Heavy drinkers outlive nondrinkers, study finds. Study condemned by MADD.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Best News In Years

Heavy drinkers outlive nondrinkers, study finds. Loud cheers from TheSpoof writers!

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Hurricane Earl Approaching The South (Naturally)

Growing Hurricane Earl threatens north Caribbean. Could go up east coast. Those in the Gulf holding their breath!

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Half Of Police Force Wiped Out!

2 of Alaska village's 4 officers fatally shot. The Old West still lives in Alaska!

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Fire At Mosque Site

Fire at proposed Tenn. mosque site probed by feds. Similar to church burnings a few years ago.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Spending Spree Over?

AP IMPACT: US wasted billions in rebuilding Iraq. Trillions in bank bailouts, etc.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Glenn Beck regrets calling Obama a 'racist'

"Mr. Obama already knows what he is. I'm not his judge!"

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Beck Regrets Accusations

Glenn Beck regrets calling Obama a 'racist', dumbass, the devil himself'.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Get Out The Tire Chains

Farmers' Almanac: Kinder, gentler winter on tap. Corn silk disputes it.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Farmer's Almanac Wins Nobel!

Farmers' Almanac: Kinder, gentler winter on tap. Prediction wins Nobel Peace Prize for winter.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Kinder, Gentler Winter?

Farmers' Almanac: Kinder, gentler winter on tap. Woolly worms blond and acting that way as million stop to look at approaching traffic.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Still Having Nightmares

Questions loom over drug given to sleepless vets. "Not only do I have nightmares, now I'm addicted to the drug."

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

A Vet Pays For Your Protection

Questions loom over drug given to sleepless vets. Is it worse than the nightmares?

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Obama: We're Behind You Like In Iraq!

War and peace: Obama nears pivotal Mideast moment as a US President has over 250 times before.

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Animal smuggler takes polygraph

and all other exotic bird data from smuggling spreadsheet

written by matthatt, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Sarah Palin bemoans G.D.P...

...assumed it meant fat people.

written by matthatt, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Federal Estate Tax Counseling

There is no federal estate tax in 2010, but it will be reinstated in 2011. Financial advisors are telling their clients to go this year, if they are multimillionaires without any tax shelters!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 30 August 2010
Rating:

No Federal Estate Tax

A video tape was played at the reading of a will. The deceased said "you will have no federal estate tax, not because of the 2010 waver, because I mortgaged everything and spent all the money!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Where are the TV Cameras?

Due to the poor rally turnout, Al Sharpton's financial people are telling him to get a new cause to solicit money for. They suggested the reverend tackle the problem of antisymmetric relations!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Change for a Three Dollar Bill

Democratic liberal far left House Speaker Pelosi has proposed legislation to place President Obama's picture on all existing three dollar bills!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Midterm Elections, What Midterm Elections?

OBAMA: "I'm making decisions that are not necessarily good for the nightly news & not good for the next election, but for the next generations."GEORGE ORWELL: An example of Big Brother using Newspeak!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Why Americans Distrust Our Current Political Leadership

President Obama says he ignored the Glenn Beck rally. White House staffers at this rally on the National Mall are busily generating memos. Expect to see these memos on the Wikileaks website shortly!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Victim Urged To Stay Quite

Belgian Church Leader Urged Abuse Victim to Keep Silent! "You wouldn't want to give Brother Balls a bad name."

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
Rating:

Center Of The World?

Tensions in Israel Ahead of Talks. Also in Palestine, Iran, Syria, Lebanon, US, Russia, China, Japan...

written by Bureau, 30 August 2010
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