Order by:
Rating:

Prince Poppycock Steps up Game for Next Week on America's Got Talent

He's decided to add a character to his act. Baron von Balderdash. It should be quite the show.

written by Charpa93, 25 August 2010
Rating:

KISS Criticized

Gene Simmons attacks KISS credit, giving him quite a tongue lashing!

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Cheney Survives Heart Attack

Nation plunged into mourning

written by manbrad, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Mccain Picking Palin

Presidential candidate John McCain tells interviewer that picking Sarah Palin for his running mate in 2008 was a no-brainer!

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Rare Tiger Eaten

Woman arrested for eating a rare tiger. "Tasted like Wood", she tells police.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Al-Jazeera Expands

Al-Jazeera purchases CNN Headline News. Little if no changes expected on programming except for subtitles.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Tiny Exoplanet Discovered

Experts: Exoplanet could be smallest ever found. Are there tiny little people there?

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

WalMart Appeals To Supreme Court

Wal-Mart Stores Inc has asked the Supreme Court to throw out a massive class action lawsuit alleging gender discrimination over pay for female workers. We'll raise our prices, turn Smiley upside down.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

No One Wants Us To Help!

Obama to address nation to mark end of Iraq combat. Threatens to help other countries if need be. "We'll come and fight for a few years."

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

It Is Unbelievable How Everybody Hates Chris Has Suddenly Changed

The CW Channel drops Everybody Hates Chris when all of a sudden everybody for some strange reason starts liking Chris.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Remember The Phrase, "Let Them Eat Cake!" - Okay, But Just Be Forewarned!

The reality show Cake Boss has been put on temporary hiatus due to secret footage taken of one of cake boss Buddy Valastro's brothers-in-law which showed him spitting in the cake batter.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 August 2010
Rating:

"Helluva Job!"

Obama to address nation, 50,000 troops in Iraq, to mark end of Iraq combat.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

DANGER: Melted Frozen Ice Up Ahead

The reality show Ice Road Truckers is postponed due to the unusual heat wave which melts all of the ice on the road.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Lindsay Lohan Caught Cheating at Poker

The Bravo Network's Celebrity Poker Showdown is fined by the FCC on account of Lindsay Lohan is caught with counterfeit poker chips tucked in her groin region

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 August 2010
Rating:

FDA Been Wrong Before

Eggs from Iowa farms could come to table near you. FDA says new eggs, not recalled, from the same place are fine. Don't think many will risk it, though! FDA has had egg on it's face before.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Elin Nordegren: I Never Hit Tiger

Tiger Woods' ex-wife Elin Nordegren said she has "been through hell" since her husband's infidelity surfaced but she never hit him. "I think the media boxed his ears pretty good, though!"

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Gotta Go Somewhere

Honolulu's long-standing trash woes growing worse. May have to pick one "Trash Island".

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Need Jobs First

Recovery in danger as firms, homebuyers cut back. "We can't spent without jobs", many say!

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Maybe Just 2.75 Million

More than 3M seniors may have to switch drug plans? No, says planners. Several will do away with themselves before going through that again!

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

A "Brilliant" Strategy..NOT!

Afghans say U.S. withdrawal timeline 'invigorating' Taliban. "All they had to do is hang on till that date. What military genius thought that one up?"

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Spurs Win 6-3 On Aggregate

Harry Redknap says they would have scored more if they were playing on grass!

written by Nick Hobbs, 25 August 2010
Rating:

"Hey Bartender, The Drinks Are On Me!"

VH-1's Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew is fined by the FCC when Dr. Drew belittles two of the celebrities by calling them hopeless hardcore alcoholics.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 August 2010
Rating:

WARNING: The Flames May Appear To Be Far Away, But Trust Me The SOB's Ain't!

Production on Hell's Kitchen is suspended when one of the rejected chefs angrily burns down the entire kitchen.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 August 2010
Rating:

The Reason Why The Cameraman On Keeping Up With The Kardashians Was Suspended

The cameraman on the reality show Keeping Up With The Kardashians is suspended on account of 76% of his shots were of the Kardashian sister butts.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 August 2010
Rating:

The TV Reality Show America's Smartest Model Is Gone and The Interesting Reason Why

VH-1's America's Smartest Model is cancelled when producers learn that there ISN'T one.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 August 2010
Rating:

An Honest Politician

Sen. Bennet, D-Col, town hall meeting last Saturday, said we had nothing to show for debt incurred by the stimulus package calling the recession the worst since the Great Depression. Most would agree!

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Arctic Oil Rush

Fears of Arctic oil rush as 'oil-bearing sand' discovered off the coast of Greenland. We have some of that in Florida.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Borrowing Planes?

Britain will be forced to borrow U.S. jets to fly from our new aircraft carriers as cutbacks bite. Hundreds of WWII Fly Boy Heroes Turn Over In Their Graves!

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

90-Year-Old Too Healthy

Lorna Clow was given a week's notice to leave after the health service decided she was no longer eligible for funding because she was too healthy. "What about NHS being too stupid", she asks.



written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

W/H Equeals Ratio Of 0.7

New Zealand anthropologist Barnaby Dixson found the same formula for what men favored in women came up almost every single time: a waist-to-hip ratio of 0.7. What a nerd!

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

The 10,000 Year-Old-Boy!

The 10,000-year-old boy's bones found in an underwater Mexican cave that could rewrite the history of the Americas. Experts say "dad" may have been 20,000 year's old!

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

No Very Bright?

Please forgive me, says woman bank worker facing death threats for shoving cat in a wheelie bin. "I should have used a dog."

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

So We'll Act Accordingly

Commons expenses staff reduced to tears as MPs described new system as an 'abortion' and called them 'monkeys'. "They come near me, I'll hit them in the face with a handful of shit!"

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

From the front page of the Milton Keynes Mercury...

In Milton Keynes today, a greengrocer attacked a thief with a price labeling gun. The police are now looking for a man with a price on his head.

written by IN SEINE, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Water Key To Weight Loss

Water the key to weight loss say experts. "If you're really pissed at your weight, it can help!"

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

New Troops Sent To Iraq

Troops still deploying to Mideast from back in America! We were told last of troops were leaving a few days ago!

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Et Tu, Letterman?

LETTERMAN TURNS: Obama have plenty of time for vacations after his one term'. Limbaugh sore at Letterman grabbing one of his lines.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Perfect Fit

French President Nicolas Sarkozy was thrown into a wheelie bin by a little old lady with blue hair this morning. Former guards caught looking a sexy lady walking by on other street.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Texts Really Important

ADDICTED: Average Teen Sends 3,000 Texts A Month; Experts Compare To Drugs. "I just pooted a little while on the commode."

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Sounds Familiar

After a meeting with Hillary about a nuclear-armed Iran, President Barack Obama has announced "Peace In Our Time!"

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Bolton Upset Over Iran

Bolton: Obama & Hillary 'talk' while Iran arms for nuclear war. Hillary objects. "We also whistle in the dark."

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Dragon's Den humiliation for Calendar Company

A novelty calendar company failed to secure any offer of funding in this week's BBC programme. Duncan Bannatyne summed up the mood of the Dragons. 'Calendars, their days are numbered.....I'm out!'

written by Stevey G., 25 August 2010
Rating:

Police Avoiding Some Calls #2

UPDATE: Cutbacks force police to curtail calls for some crimes. "But is he normally good at shooting a weapon?"

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Police Avoiding Some Calls

UPDATE: Cutbacks force police to curtail calls for some crimes. "But just how hard is he hitting you, Mam?"

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

New Low In Housing

New Home Sales Sink to Lowest Pace on Record. Carpenters, etc either changes professions or doing repair work.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Wait Till It Does

After Tuesday's existing home sales plunge, have we finally hit bottom? "No!", say experts. All this happened WITHOUT being hit by terrorists here.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Headed Somewhere

BIDEN: 'We're moving in right direction, wherever that may be.'

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Lohan Released Early #2

Lindsay Lohan has been released from rehab early as she was at the jail. "This young lady has learned her lesson", giggles her attorney.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Lohan Released Early

Lindsay Lohan released early from rehab as she was from jail. And people say there is no justice in America!

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Camerons' confirm Cornish name for daughter.

After the premature and unexpected birth in Cornwall yesterday, David and Sarah Cameron have honoured their promise to give their newborn daughter a Cornish name...Pasty Cameron!

written by Stevey G., 25 August 2010
Rating:

North Pole Wars?

Fighter jets scrambled to intercept two Russian bombers in the Arctic as they approached Canadian airspace before an Arctic visit from Canada's prime minister. PM: We'll defend rights to the N. Pole!

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Alex Reid threatens to leave Katie Price?

'Get your tits out in public again and I'll walk', threatens Reid.
We think he's got one letter wrong!

written by Stevey G., 25 August 2010
Rating:

i-phone 'sex-toy' launched

Apple have today launched a combination iphone/vibrator which will be marketed as the iphone 4g-spot.

written by Stevey G., 25 August 2010
Rating:

Bullet In Head Discovered 5 Years Later

Man, shot in head, notices five years later. "Never was really bright", says mother.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

New Steinbrenner Monument

Steinbrenner monument at Yankee Stadium set. Shows him firing Billy Martin!

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

One Reason We Fly!

ACLU questions 'enhanced patdown' of air travelers. Old lady & gentlemen fliers tell ACLU to mind their own business.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Paddleboats In Philly

Paddleboat cruises coming to Philly waterfront. Lots of S&M couples already have tickets.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Tainted Eggs From 2 Farms Only?

Taint no evidence that tainted eggs go beyond 2 farms. Still no cause for egg contamination.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

New ER Info!

Headed to ER? Some post waits by text, billboard, electronic outside hospitals.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Eggs Safety Concerns

Are the eggs sold at my supermarket safe to eat, throw at political candidates?

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Mouse Virus Linked To Chronic Fa.. Whatever!

Mouse virus link to chronic fatigue is studied. "Perhaps your mouse should be inside a plastic bag?"

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Toe Tappers Main Feature

State AGs: Craigslist should drop adult services. Larry Craigslist also condemned.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Craigslist Condemned

State AGs: Craigslist should drop adult services as 10,000 pimps now out of work.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

The Widget Has Too Many Whatsits!

Oil rises slightly as "economic data tempers gains". Oil companies say they have over 1,000 other excuses for the future.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Not Again,?

More than 3M seniors may have to switch drug plans. Attorneys rubbing their hands with glee over explaining it all again!

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Some Still Struggling To Understand Presnt One

More than 3M seniors may have to switch drug plans, like it or not.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Nazi Papers In National Archives

National Archives to house infamous Nazi papers. One surprise, Hitler sometimes wore red wig and called himself Greta!

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Another Quayle On The Way

Dan Quayle's son wins congressional primary. "They have just announced me the winner, Dad!"

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Hasselbeck Endorses Gay Rights

Hasselbeck supports gay marriage, calls Obama a 'cool guy', shits his pants, passes out.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Long-Standing Trash Woes!

Honolulu's long-standing trash woes growing worse as officials do not know how much longer it can stand.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Microbes Eating Oil

New microbe discovered eating oil spill in Gulf. Some former fishermen may turn to catching microbes in the water.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

US May Collect Some For Selling

New microbe discovered eating oil spill in Gulf. Could be used to eat sun tan oil in family pools.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Iran Happy To Be Back Into News

Iran says it test-fires new missile. Not in the news for two days. "Could carry biological weapons."

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Gov. Never Satisfied

Credit card debt drops to lowest level in 8 years. One good sign ruined by Government wanting people to spend more.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Another Lohan Hearing

Lohan case due in court for next-step hearing. Look for another sideshow.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Go With The Flow

Study: Sloth and Gluttony Hard to Shake Even For the Healthy! So Why Try?

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Old Trading Post Discovered

Egypt discovers 3,500-year-old oasis trading post. Owner tells them business has been slow since WWII.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

3500-Year-Old Trading Post

Egypt discovers 3,500-year-old oasis trading post. Old post cards still being sold.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Even Chili Tastes Good!

2 days of food stretched more than 2 weeks in mine is how Chile's miners survived. Now they have food but a long wait.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Taliban Gas Girl Students

Afghan girls fall ill after apparent gas poisoning. Taliban doesn't want women educated. What ever happened to the women support groups? Complete silence?

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Taliban Using Gas?

Afghan girls fall ill after apparent gas poisoning by Taliban, known for special treatment of women.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Government Can Track Your Movements

The Government's New Right to Track Your Every Move With GPS! Combined with Google, Big Brother Is Here!

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Hasselbeck Hurting Democrats

Hasselbeck supports gay marriage, calls Obama a 'cool guy'. "Where's he from, Kenya?"

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Hasselbeck Support Will Cost Votes!

Hasselbeck supports gay marriage, calls Obama a 'cool guy'. This is the worse news yet for Democrats in November.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

OK, Until One Exploded

Honolulu's long-standing trash woes growing worse. Wondering how it would do dumped into volcanoes.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Trash In Hawaii

Honolulu's long-standing trash woes growing worse. Sending it out on ships hoping Somali pirates will raid it.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Eat 'Em Up!

New microbe discovered eating oil spill in Gulf. Terrorists looking into dropping them in Saudi Oil fields.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Gators Traveling North #3

Experts: Gators in northern waters probably pets. But when the reach ten feet long, they load them up while kid is at school and take them to nearby lakes.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Gators Traveling North #2

Experts: Gators in northern waters probably pets but many say they are escaping oil in the Gulf swamps, their natural habitat.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Gators Traveling North

Experts: Gators in northern waters probably pets. But Al Gore says it's global warming.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Kim Asks Him To Kneel

Carter lands in Pyongyang, cleans it off his shoes, and goes to bring home American.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Who Is Next Senator Of Alaska?

Alaska GOP Sen. Murkowski on jeopardy! I'm sorry, that should be IN jeopardy.

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

DEA be hiring Ebonics translators

The agency be serious than a motherf**ker: They gots to get nine peeps to translate conversations picked up on the D.L. during investigations, Special Agent Bizzle Snizzle shouted out Tuesday.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Like father, like son?

Former VP Dan Quayle's son Ben wins Republican nomination in Arizona's 3rd Congressional District on Tuesday. Not to worry - they're nothing alike. It's like comparing a potatoe to a tomatoe.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Grim News

In the latest grim news for Obama's Democrats, 72 percent of people said they were very worried about joblessness & 67% were very concerned about government spending & 10% think they have bedbugs!

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
Rating:

Nightly News Propaganda!

What Recovery? Home Sales Plunge 27 Percent to 15-Year Low! What Last Of Troops Leaving Iraq When 50,000 Still There? Nightly News Bought Off?

written by Bureau, 25 August 2010
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