There were 3,121 spoof news snippets published in August 2010. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

Order by:
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Cher, Who is 89, Explains Why She Is So Upset

The former singer known as Cher says that she is really upset because she just noticed that her wrinkles now have wrinkles.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 August 2010
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Will All of The NBA's Japanese Players Please Stand Up

A group calling itself The White Oriental Folk of Louisiana protest in front of The New Orleans Arena saying that the NBA has way too many black players and not enough Japanese players.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 August 2010
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The Williams Sisters, Venus and Serena Are Gonna Be Fit To Be Tied

The Williams sisters Venus and Serena are both getting so fat that tennis officials are considering asking them to please dress in raincoats.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 31 August 2010
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The Pennsylvania Amish Are Starting To Roll Into Modern Times

Pennsylvania declares that the state will purchase automobiles for the entire Amish community. One Amish leader Sol Burkerwitz asks if the state can also throw in garages.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 August 2010
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All of Mississippi's Restaurants Say That They Will Comply With The New Restaurant Directive

The state of Mississippi has just banned the use of the words "Road Kill" in any of its restaurant menus.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 August 2010
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"Hey Baltimore - Play Ball!"

Many people truly believe that Baltimore was named after Lord Baltimore. The city was actually named after the baseball team The Baltimore Orioles.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 August 2010
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Capital News, Denver, Colorado

Denver is experiencing the hottest summer in their history: Denver has only received 24" of snow in the month of July.

written by anthonyrosania, 01 August 2010
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Is the moon shrinking?

Yes. The moon has been dieting, working out, and spending time on a fat farm.




written by Gail Farrelly, 22 August 2010
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The Amish People Are Tremendously Upset With One Particular Teen

Police were recently called to an Amish community in Altoona, Pennsylvania. It seems one of the Amish youths had gone berserk and was saying things like fa shizzle ma nizzle, bling bling, and yo ho.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 31 August 2010
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"Hey Hon, Do The Chopsticks Taste A Little Funny To You?"

China denies rumors that chopsticks manufactured in China contain lead. A representative for the Chinese government said that there is no lead in the chopsticks...a little mercury yes, but no lead.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 31 August 2010
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Capital News, Sacramento, California

Rep. Dan Lungren was ticketed after he was pulled over during an interview on his cell phone with a radio station. " I had to be the 97th caller: They were giving away Jonas Brothers tickets!

written by anthonyrosania, 01 August 2010
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You Would Think That The Grand Lady Would Have Been A Little More Modest Huh?

In the no one, but no one knows this department. The Statue of Liberty is not wearing any underwear.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 August 2010
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The State of Massachusetts Is Sorry For Burning Up All of Those Salem Witches

Massachusetts apologizes for burning dozens of Salem witches at the stake. One senator said that just because a woman just happened to look like a witch was no reason to turn her into a brisket.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 August 2010
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Capital News, Little Rock, Arkansas.

Lawyers for a plastic surgeon accused of masterminding a bombing that disfigured a Medical Board member offered an alibi: l: "He was only trying to create business for his practice.

written by anthonyrosania, 01 August 2010
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The Green Guacamole Drug Cartel Doesn't Care Squat About "Dog The Bounty Hunter"

In the season premier of Dog The Bounty Hunter, "Dog" is captured by members of Mexico's Green Guacamole Drug Cartel. He is seen crying because the mean hombres force him to eat a diet of scorpions.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 August 2010
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Delaware Has No More Homeless People And The Interesting Way They Accomplished That Little Feat

The state of Delaware is proud to say that they no longer have any homeless people hanging around on street corners. The state gathered them all up and shipped them by U-Haul trailer to New Jersey.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 31 August 2010
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One of The Stars of The Battle of The Wedding Planners Went Ballistic

The Battle of The Wedding Planners with Steve Kemble and Cheryl Dent has been cancelled because things got out of hand when Steve angrily stuck a slice of wedding cake in Cheryl's bikini burger.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 August 2010
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New Hampshire Wants To Take Arizona's Tourists

The state of New Hampshire plans on changing to a new tourist friendly slogan: Come To New Hampshire, It's A Whole Lot More Quieter and Peaceful Than Arizona For Effen Sakes.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 August 2010
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It Is Unbelievable How Everybody Hates Chris Has Suddenly Changed

The CW Channel drops Everybody Hates Chris when all of a sudden everybody for some strange reason starts liking Chris.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 August 2010
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Lindsay "LiLo" Lohan Will Quickly Have Her Own Reality Show

Lindsay Lohan will be starring in a new reality show titled, Count My Freckles Quick Before I Go Back To Prison.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 August 2010
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"Hey Bartender, The Drinks Are On Me!"

VH-1's Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew is fined by the FCC when Dr. Drew belittles two of the celebrities by calling them hopeless hardcore alcoholics.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 August 2010
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The "Rehab" Reality Series Is Really, Really Getting A Bit Out of Hand

Coming this fall the 'Rehab' reality show series will introduce yet another new 'Rehab' show. This one is entitled, Homeless Person Rehab.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 August 2010
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The Utah Mormons Have Made The Network Change The Title of The Cooking Reality Show - Hell's Kitchen

Due to the Mormon influence in Utah. The reality cooking show Hell's Kitchen in Utah will be known as Heck's Kitchen.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 August 2010
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Damn! That Has Got To Be The Biggest Mother Effen Crab In The Entire World

Filming on The Discovery Channel's The Deadliest Catch is temporarily halted when an Alaskan King Crab the size of a three story building completely swallows the fishing ship The Time Bandit.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 August 2010
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The Emmy Winning Sit-Com Modern Family Has Two Imitators

The Emmy for Best Comedy went to ABC's Modern Family which shows there's a market for straight actors to play gay actors. NBC begins filming The Gay Family and CBS begins filming The Real Gay Family

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 August 2010
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Remember The Phrase, "Let Them Eat Cake!" - Okay, But Just Be Forewarned!

The reality show Cake Boss has been put on temporary hiatus due to secret footage taken of one of cake boss Buddy Valastro's brothers-in-law which showed him spitting in the cake batter.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 August 2010
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Capital News, Hartford, Connecticut.

A Hartford's vigilante group that is lobbying to capture Jersey Shore's Snooki will no longer be able to use the name Hartford Whalers. Cuz, you know, she's fat, and.... Forget it.

written by anthonyrosania, 01 August 2010
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Extreme Makeover: Home Edition Is Sued For $18.7 Million!

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is sued for $18.7 million when one of the show's families becomes upset because the show put in ugly ass red drapes instead of the pretty purples ones they wanted.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 August 2010
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Comedian Is Disqualified On Account He Is In A Wheel Chair

Comedian Fritz "Bum Knees" McLettuce is disqualified from the reality show The Last Comic Standing because he is confined to a wheel chair.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 August 2010
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The Q-Tip Has Just Barely Scratched The Surface of The Ear Drum

The Q-Tip was invented in Quebec, Canada. It was first known by the name 'that little itty bitty stick with two little itty bitty pieces of cotton on each end.'

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 August 2010
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The TV Reality Show America's Smartest Model Is Gone and The Interesting Reason Why

VH-1's America's Smartest Model is cancelled when producers learn that there ISN'T one.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 August 2010
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Lindsay Lohan Caught Cheating at Poker

The Bravo Network's Celebrity Poker Showdown is fined by the FCC on account of Lindsay Lohan is caught with counterfeit poker chips tucked in her groin region

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 August 2010
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Jeff Foxworthy's Big 'Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?' Surprise

Jeff Foxworthy has stated that his hit show Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader will air in Arizona, Arkansas, and Alaska as Are You Smarter Than A 1st Grader for the obvious reason

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 August 2010
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The Kardashian Sisters May Lose Their Reality TV Show Unless They...

The Kardashian sisters, who star in Growing Up Kardashian, have been told by the producer to please lose a lot of weight in their butts because their butts are taking up the whole TV viewing screen.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 August 2010
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William Penn Was One Hellacious Quaker Oats Eating Dude

Everyone knows that William Penn invented Quaker Oats Cereal, but hardly anyone knows that he also invented the penncil, which was later misspelled pencil.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 31 August 2010
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Why Are The People of Maine Such An Unhappy Bunch of People?

Maine residents vote 9,382 to 1,348 to secede from the U.S. and become part of Canada. President Obama says "Y'all are messed up sumtin awful. Pour yourself some more molasses and settle down."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 August 2010
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Capital News, Montgomery Alabama

State Republicans hope to elect enough GOP politicials that Republicans will have a majority in the Legislature for the 1st time in 136 years!

All in favor of lenient gun laws, vote Republican!

written by anthonyrosania, 01 August 2010
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Billy "The Umpire Hating" New York Yankees Manager Has Left The Stadium

New York City's Empire State Building was originally known as The Umpire State Building. But due to complaints from Yankees manager Billy Martin, who hated umpires, the name was changed.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 August 2010
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The Sundance Film Festival Is As They Say In Baseball "Outta Here!"

Due to financial constraints, The Sundance Film Festival which has been held in Utah since 1978 is being outsourced to Pakistan.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 August 2010
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The Army Wives By Any Other Name Are Just As Sexy

The reality show Army Wives is being investigated by the CIA due to the fact that many of the scripts actually contain Air Force terminology.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 August 2010
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DANGER: Melted Frozen Ice Up Ahead

The reality show Ice Road Truckers is postponed due to the unusual heat wave which melts all of the ice on the road.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 August 2010
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Delaware Says "Just Say No To NASCAR"

The state of Delaware has outlawed NASCAR racing. State officials say that they just got sick and tired of the smell of cornbread, cheap beer, grits, and Daisy Duke short shorts.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 August 2010
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The City That Is Now Know As Buffalo Had A Horribly Stupid Name Before

The city of Buffalo was originally named Anteater, but it was changed because Buffalo sounds one hundred times better than Anteater!

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 August 2010
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The Reason Why The Cameraman On Keeping Up With The Kardashians Was Suspended

The cameraman on the reality show Keeping Up With The Kardashians is suspended on account of 76% of his shots were of the Kardashian sister butts.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 August 2010
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WARNING: The Flames May Appear To Be Far Away, But Trust Me The SOB's Ain't!

Production on Hell's Kitchen is suspended when one of the rejected chefs angrily burns down the entire kitchen.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 August 2010
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If Memory Serves Me Right - The Answer Is William Penn

William Penn who invented oat meal also invented the nation's first memory stick, but no one seems to remember.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 August 2010
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Spurs Win 6-3 On Aggregate

Harry Redknap says they would have scored more if they were playing on grass!

written by Nick Hobbs, 25 August 2010
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Capital News, Phoenix, Arizona.

1 day after a federal judge knocked down the key parts of Arizona's anti-immigrant legislation, police stopped arrested Mexicans because it is too f--king HOT to chase Beaners across the border.

written by anthonyrosania, 01 August 2010
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Pueblo, Colorado Shows That It Will Not Put Up With Kid's Cliches

Grade schools in Pueblo, Colorado have banned the use of the kids phrase, "For real?"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 August 2010
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Wyoming Will No Longer Tolerate The Unwarranted Wearing of Cowboy Hats

Wyoming has outlawed the practice of wearing cowboy hats unless you are actually a cowboy or a cowgirl. Violators will have their hats confiscated and donated to the San Francisco Home For Gay Pokes.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 August 2010
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The Country Formerly Known As Afghanistan

Afghanistan finally bows to world wide pressure and has agreed to change its hard to spell and hard to pronounce name to Affyland.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 August 2010
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And So Now The Outsourced Are Having To Outsource

Pakistan has so such phone business it is outsourcing some of their overflow to Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, and Phoenix.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 August 2010
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Bill Clinton - The Man Who Never Met A Woman He Did Not Want To Boink

Bill Clinton has finally admitted that he has had more sex with Hillary Clinton than with all of his countless girlfriends combined.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 August 2010
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Hurricane Katrina Was One Mean, Windy Bitch - Kinda Like Naomi Campbell

President Obama told the Senate that he wants to retire the hurricane name Katrina. One somewhat tipsy Republican senator shouted out "No sir, no one gets to retire!"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 August 2010
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The Food Network's Cooking Show "Barefoot Contessa" Was Truly Misleading Its Viewers

Barefoot Contessa with Ina Garten, has been fined by the FCC due to the fact that on two of the shows Ms. Garten was clearly shown to be wearing high heels.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 August 2010
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Capital News, Juneau, Alaska

A dead whale was discovered pinned to the bow of a Princess Cruises luxury liner near Juneau Thursday. Princess will only charge the whale's family for a one-way ticket.

written by anthonyrosania, 01 August 2010
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Vanessa Perroncel Back In The Headlines

Nobody certain why. Some interview possibly. Experts describe it as 'Silly Season Syndrome.'

written by Skoob1999, 10 August 2010
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The Remarkable Statue of Helen Thomas

Long time White House correspondent Helen Thomas, 90, to get a statue in her honor in Dearborn, Michigan. The slouching statue will be placed in front of the police station.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 August 2010
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The Alaskan Dogsled Team Had One Very Interesting Member

A dogsled team in Juneau, Alaska's 88th Annual Dogsled Races was disqualified when it was learned that one of the dogs was really a cat.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 August 2010
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The Amazingly, Amazing, Talking Japanese Female Dolls Are So Gosh Darn Life-Like!

A scientist in Japan has developed the most life-like female doll yet. It walks up to you and says, "Ah most kind sir, so sorry to say you reave toiret seat up. Prease go put down now."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 August 2010
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What The Hell Happened To Wars With Plain, Simple Names?

Remember when wars had simple names like World War I and World War II. Now we have The Iraq War - Storming The Damn Hot-As-Hell Effen Desert and The War In Detroit - Carburetors Be Damned And Shit.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 August 2010
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New York City - The City That Never Sleeps Sure Does Snooze A Lot

New York City has just announced that it will start closing between the hours of 3 a.m. and 5 a.m. to give the homeless panhandlers time to go out shopping for a home.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 August 2010
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Crouchy Reveals How He Wows The Ladies

Apparently, it's the robot dance. They can't get enough of it.

written by Skoob1999, 15 August 2010
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Yes, Monica Lewinsky Did In Fact Attend Chelsea Clinton's Wedding

Reports are that Monica Lewinsky attended Chelsea Clinton's wedding. Monica was apparently disguised as a black usherette. No one recognized her because she was not wearing a blue dress.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 August 2010
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The Very First Political Lie Was Sure A Doozy

Historians say that the very first political lie was "Ah no, Tyrone, we don't call it The White House because only White people are allowed inside."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 August 2010
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British Barbecue Season Gets Under Way

96% chance of rain. 4% chance of snow.

written by Skoob1999, 01 August 2010
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Are The Williams Sisters, Venus and Serena Really Bro's?

Venus and Serena Williams are mad at reports saying the two are really males. Serena spit on the floor, grabbed her crotch, and said that the bulge in their tennis shorts is just kinky hair.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 August 2010
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Attention Homeless People: Come On Up To Green Bay - You'll Love It - Trust Me

Green Bay, Wisconsin, has the saddest homeless people in the nation. Experts point to the freezing weather. The city has decided to remedy the problem by providing them with free prescription wine.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 August 2010
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Michelle Obama, "The First Mama," Talks About Her Presidential Tramp Stamp Tattoo Rumors

Michelle Obama has denied reports that she has a tramp stamp that reads, "My Barry He Be Da Man Uh Huh!"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 August 2010
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Prince Poppycock Steps up Game for Next Week on America's Got Talent

He's decided to add a character to his act. Baron von Balderdash. It should be quite the show.

written by Charpa93, 25 August 2010
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Louisiana No Longer Has Any Off-Shore Buoys

The state of Louisiana has voted to change the names of buoys to floaties in the interest of making it so much easier to pronounce.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 August 2010
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You Can Now Get McNuggets At The Old Watergate Hotel

The old, infamous Watergate Hotel has been turned into a political McDonald's. Employees now ask customers, "You want clandestine fries with dat?"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 August 2010
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The Cows Formerly Known As Sacred Cows

India declares that cows are no longer sacred and can now be eaten. Millions of Indian cows seen stampeding towards the Pakistani border.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 August 2010
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The Man Who Invented The Sports Phrase USA! USA! USA! Has Been Arrested

Charlie Crackdiddy, who is credited with inventing the sports phrase, USA! USA! USA! has been arrested in South Carolina, for yelling out at Senator John Edwards, SOB! SOB! SOB!

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 August 2010
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Where Oh Where Is The Wisconsin Tundra Going?

The state of Wisconsin says that due to its horrible financial state it will be selling off 2 by 2 inch commemorative pieces of its infamous tundra for $97.98 plus tax.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 August 2010
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The Brand New Showering Habits of Al Gore

Al Gore says that he is so 'gun shy' about the masseuse situation that now whenever he takes a shower, he does it with his shirt and pants on.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 August 2010
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Isle of Wight More Popular Than Ibeza

Tourism up 800% in a month. Nobody quite sure why.

written by Skoob1999, 01 August 2010
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Isle of Wight Pulls Record Crowds

Despite shit weather and temporary closure of Bembridge floral clock.

written by Skoob1999, 01 August 2010
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Lady Gaga Screams Out About The Bulge In Her Crotch

Lady Gaga says she's sick and tired of being asked about the noticeable bulge in her crotch. She screamed out at a female reporter for Fox, "Yes, bitch, it's a pee pee! it's a pee pee! it's a pee pee!

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 August 2010
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The End of The Russian Spies For American Spies Trading Business

Russia says they don't have any more American spies to trade for Russian spies. They ask President Obama if he will accept Vodka instead, "Why hell yeah, ship dat shit on over here ya hear?"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 August 2010
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The Louisiana Souvenir Tar Balls Are Here!

The story that vending machines in Louisiana are dispensing Tar Ball Souvenirs has proven to be false. The Souvenir Tar Balls can actually be purchased over-the-counter at most drug stores.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 August 2010
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Abraham Lincoln Was One of America's Most Popular Inventors

Abraham Lincoln invented the five dollar bill and the Lincoln Logs, but he did not, in fact, invent the Lincoln Town Car, as many people wrongly believe.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 August 2010
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The Los Angeles School District Knows What It Wants

The Los Angeles School District has voted that the word Hmmmm is not really a word and will not be used in the classroom or the playground.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 August 2010
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Bristol man found to have vagina...

Sorry...angina...

written by Skoob1999, 29 August 2010
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The Geographically Challenged Sarah Palin Refuses To Answer Geographic Questions

Former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin was asked by a reporter for National Geographic if Alaska is a state. The puzzled Palin stated that she will no longer answer any trick questions.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 August 2010
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From the front page of the Milton Keynes Mercury...

In Milton Keynes today, a greengrocer attacked a thief with a price labeling gun. The police are now looking for a man with a price on his head.

written by IN SEINE, 25 August 2010
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The Unbelievable Thing That Eating Two or More Corn on The Cobs Will Do

Food researchers say that eating two or more corn on the cobs can make you ugly. Amy Winehouse, Ann Coulter, Courtney Love, and Joan Rivers all remark, "Great, now you tell me."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 August 2010
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Bangkok Man Goes To Bed Early

A Hull man masquerading as an English teacher in Bangkok has gone to bed early tonight, it's been reported, as he has a busy day ahead of him tomorrow.

written by Monkey Woods, 19 August 2010
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Have You Lost a Wallet?

A lady by the name of Miss Helen Hunt has found a man's wallet.
If any man out there has lost a wallet, he can go to Helen Hunt for it.

written by IN SEINE, 23 August 2010
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Alex Rodriguez (A-Rod) Reveals An Amazing Secret About Kate Hudson

New York Yankees star Alex Rodriguez, (A-Rod) reveals that yes it's true his ex-girlfriend Kate Hudson had little, itty, bitty titties. Oh and Alex, Gabourey Sidibe kinda looks like an orca whale.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 August 2010
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Americans Asked Who They'd Like as Next American Idol Judge

A large majority overwhelmingly picked Krusty the Clown not realizing he was nothing more than a cartoon character.

written by Charpa93, 07 August 2010
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Tea Party Has New Manifesto

They now go by the creed "Give Us Liberty or We'll Shoot"

written by Charpa93, 12 August 2010
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Circus Takes on New Act

Lowton Brothers Circus in Lancashire have hired a new contortionist from the Philippines. The Filipino will be known as "The Manila Folder"

written by IN SEINE, 15 August 2010
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No Seahorses in Navy

There were three horses on a ship including a sick bay.

written by IN SEINE, 15 August 2010
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Killing Themselves to Get in

The Hare Krishna movement have opened a new Cash and Carry warehouse in Birmingham today. It is to be called Hare Karry and people are just killing themselves to have a look!

written by IN SEINE, 23 August 2010
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The Stalking Capital of America Is Giving Up That Title

California is the nation's first state to outlaw the practice of binge stalking.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 August 2010
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Naomi Campbell Gives Man Black Pudding As a Gift

Supermodel, Naomi Campbell has given a Dorset man a black pudding as a gift. Consquently, he ate it in a sandwhich and broke 4 teeth. The pudding was found to contain no less than 30 blood diamonds.

written by IN SEINE, 11 August 2010
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Obese People See the GP More Than Smokers Do

Fat people see the doctor more frequent than smokers do. There is no longer any room in the surgery waiting room, so the smokers have to resort in having a cigarette outside while they wait.

written by IN SEINE, 15 August 2010
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WOOPS!!!!

"The marriage of Miss Norma Snockers and Willie Bendit, which was announced on this Website a few weeks ago, was a mistake which we wish to correct."

written by IN SEINE, 15 August 2010
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Mecca Is Confirmed to Be the Least Attractive City

The Egyptian National Research Centre says that 'there is no magnetic force in Mecca' - and so it's OFFICIAL, Mecca is the world's least attractive city

written by IN SEINE, 11 August 2010
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