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Rating:

Confusion Reigns...

Scientists claim that the cleverest women drink the heaviest and then they claim that smokers have a lower IQ. So if women drink heavily and smoke then one cancels the other!

written by IN SEINE, 05 April 2010
Rating:

Interesting TV fact #5

As far as news goes, if there were another attack on the pentagon on the same day Tiger Woods had another affair, 9 out of 10 news channels would go with the Tiger Woods story.

written by Charpa93, 05 April 2010
Rating:

Local Man Hides Secret

"I can't remember where I put the bloody thing", he griped, "why did I hide it in the first place? It was only my latent homosexuality, after all..."

written by Jesus Budda, 05 April 2010
Rating:

Local Chimney Smokes

It's defiance of the smoking ban is seen as 'cheeky'.

written by Jesus Budda, 05 April 2010
Rating:

Local Woman has a Hairy Cult

Patricia Porridge has formed a religious group based around a belief that Robin Williams is the son of God.

Only hirsute people may join.

written by Jesus Budda, 05 April 2010
Rating:

Good Phone Manners

The London School of communication has advised that Telemarketers should write out their sales scripts phone-etiquettely.

written by IN SEINE, 05 April 2010
Rating:

Is Any Soldier Brave Enough?

The Ministry of Defence announced today that it will award a Victoria Cross to any soldier who is brave enough to shake the hands of the Prime Minister, Gordon Brown.

written by IN SEINE, 05 April 2010
Rating:

Fergie Disrobes in Public, No One Complains

In an effort to re-create the strut and strip style made famous last week by Erykah Badu in Dallas, Fergie showed up at the same spot and started stripping to cheers of "take it off, take it all off!"

written by Charpa93, 05 April 2010
Rating:

Quote from '21st Century Dating Etiquette Guide'

Remember: the woman who says the way to a man's heart is through his stomach has set her sights too high.

written by Cuff, 05 April 2010
Rating:

Ladies Rugby

Featherleigh beat Mincing 36-24-36

written by Erskin Quint, 05 April 2010
Rating:

The Spoof Creates New Site for Talentless Homophobes

Due to the unending amount of homophobia masquerading as satire, The Spoof has created ThePoof.com for homophobes to mentally masturbate each other without getting anything creepy on everyone else.

written by Tawdry Soup, 05 April 2010
Rating:

Hostile Volcanic Lake Teems With Life

Argentina investigators find flamingos, microbes thriving in alkaline, arsenic-laden waters in a volcano in the Andes; scientists believe this may shed light on how life could continue post-humanity.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 05 April 2010
Rating:

Shuttle Mission: "Scrubbed"

With Discovery set to lift off Monday, NASA maintenance crews prepare to launch full sanitation of astronaut facilities, including 5 urinals, 3 stalls, and replacement of an ammoniated tank assembly.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 05 April 2010
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