Order by:
Rating:

School Secretary Ed Balls To Change Name By Deed Poll.

Wishes to be known as Ed Fuckup from now on.

written by Blazing Saddle, 20 September 2009
Rating:

South African Athletics Federation Leader Admits "Error"

Confesses - "I didn't go to Specsavers"!

written by Blazing Saddle, 20 September 2009
Rating:

South African World Record Holder Confirmed - She's A Girl!

Her father, Fatima Whitbread says so.

written by Blazing Saddle, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Two Days Of Ambulance Runs

Police in Orlando, Florida say that whoever came up with a convention for the accident-prone must have been crazy.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Glad That's Cleared Up

Auto dealers stated yesterday that they should have been able to sell "Clunkers" traded in & that it was a waste. "Clunkers are only a step below "Used" and two steps below "Pre-owned" stated one.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Lincoln's Oprah Address

Michelle Obama's mother claims that on three different occasions she has caught Lincoln's ghost behind her say "You go girl!" while she was watching Oprah.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Polar Bears To Be Tranquilized, Shaved

Latest Warning: Global temperature could rise 9.5 Degrees in only 60 more years as nudist colony schedule the selling of lots outside of Fairbanks, Alaska.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Three Horses Given Community Service

Local horse-whisperer in Louisville, Kentucky arrested for winning over $5 Million illegally.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

ACORN Investigated?

President Barack Obama says there will be an investigation into the hidden-camera video involving employees at the activist group ACORN, by Operation: Squirrel!

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Then It's 110%

Obama: Health insurance mandate no tax increase until grandchildren come along in 2040.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Jordan's breasts

Jordan has renamed her cleavage. Henceforth it will be known as Silicon Valley

written by Everyman, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Carter Blackballed

According to Democrat Hindquarters, former president Jimmy Carter no longer speaks on their bighalf.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Bush Crashes Hog

Former President George Bush injured while riding bush hog, also being checked out for the Swine Flu.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Putin happy? Yuck It Up!

Russia agrees to human clowning. "Just as long as it's on a day when Putin not on the rag", says President Medvedev

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Hitmen On Strike

New York police say that the body of Marco Scarface was pulled from the East River this morning, the last one expected before the big hitman walkout over 50% of the intake.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Boxers Split

After a complete split in scoring at middle-weight Saturday night, both boxers to file briefs Monday morning.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Same Result In Pakistan

A production of The Vagina Monologues in Afghanistan turns out to be a complete bomb on it's opening night!

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Watch Monday's Market

Investors anxious for stock market to open Monday after General Motors/Tonka Toys merger announced over the weekend.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Lopez Corrects Leno

Jennifer Lopez stated once again yesterday that she is tired of magazines & Leno saying she has a big ass. "It only appears that way because the rest of me is so slim."

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Britney Explains THE Photo

Britney states she was wearing underwear on the day of the famous photo shot. They were her special one's with the photograph of Willie Nelson on the front.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Crawl Off In A Corner Somewhere

Home Office staff were warned not to eat in front of their fasting Muslim colleagues during Ramadan, in case it made them feel hungry, or drink in front of alcoholics, sweets before diabetics.


written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Two Different Rats

Can you really use lab rats to predict human behavior when the creatures have no concept of tomorrow? Yes, say those running up $13 Trillion US debt!

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

German Ships Set Record

Two German ships have become first Western commercial vessels to navigate the Northeast Passage, a shipping route from Asia to Europe around the Russian Arctic as Al Gore blasts Trailblazer's heat.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Night Time The Right Time

If Ramadan requires abstinence by day, many Muslims in Egypt are in festive mood by night. "I gained ten pounds during the fast last year", confesses one.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Less We Forget

US warns that the country it first invaded six years ago should not be forgotten. Starts with an "I" but it's not India.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

They Have Been Warned

Eight more cases of farm E.coli reported as Brits told never to plant another E.coli farm in the future.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

"Hello, Boy & Girls, Pluto!"

Explorer David Hempleman-Adams has broken the endurance record for a flight using the smallest man-carrying helium balloon. Accepts the award in high cartoon-like voice.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Assisted Suicide Guidance

New guidance on assisted suicide. No one who will inherit from victim are allowed to help put them down. "That would be barbaric", states well-dressed young son.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Huge Concert In Havana

Havana is preparing for the biggest open air concert since the 1959 revolution, with long line of over 10,000 1962 volkswagens rolling into town.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Darn Tootin, We've Caved To Putin!

US Defence Secretary Robert Gates has rejected the claim that a decision to shelve a plan for missile defence in Europe was a concession to Russia and their greatest of all world leaders, Putin".

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Obama In Middle East Talks

President Barack Obama will meet Israeli and Palestinian leaders on Tuesday to try to relaunch peace talks. Plans to take new ideas, shoe shield.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Tie For iPod

Shirtmaker designs tie for your iPod, baby doll pajamas for your cell phone. Is a top hat for your debit card next?

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

NC Swayze Memorial

North Carolina 'Dirty Dancing' town, which banned Patrick Swayze for life, plans Swayze memorial.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Flu Vacine Ready

CDC: First swine flu vaccines may be nasal spray. To apply, turn nose up and squeal.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Asian Leaders Come Forward

At summit, Asian leaders to press for greater role. "We're tired of walk-ons, character parts" states one leader.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Thought You Tore That Up?

Matching mullets, regrettable tattoos, metal mouths, grandpa taking a whiz, hunter showing off prized kill of endangered species & goofy grins leave old family scrapbooks & jump onto facebook.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Be Sure To Listen

Obama rolling into week of high diplomatic stakes. To make nightly speech on all TV, radio, short-wave and in vans touring the streets with loudspeakers.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Taliban Leader Dies

Captured Pakistan Taliban commander dies in jail. Officials say he apparently smothered himself to death with a pillow.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

He Lopks Relieved

Iran's Khamenei signals easing in election tension or it could simply be the build up of gas, say political opponents.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

At Discount Prices

Chicago mobster Al Capone's Wisconsin hideout, Osama Bin Laden' Old Cave for sale.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Who Cares?

Cursive writing, reading classics, being serious about social skills may be fading skills, but so what?

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Back To Page One

Obama, Netanyahu, Abbas to meet amid tensions and enjoy a beer, staring contest.

written by Bureau, 20 September 2009
Rating:

Indian Tycoon To Buy Renault F1 Racing Team

Austin Westminster to return to Grand Prix start grids.

written by Blazing Saddle, 20 September 2009
Rating:

New Rub-On Viagra Developed

Women resigned to clumsy foreplay as mens' fingers are too stiff.

written by Blazing Saddle, 20 September 2009
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