Order by:
Rating:

Gays Win Battle To Join Army.

As Gays and lesbians line up at the Army recruiting centers across the nation today, surprisingly the only protesters are the Navy recruiters. One Naval recruiter commented,"Now who will we get?"

written by OIF2Sniper, 18 November 2009
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Palin Promotes Book

To promote her new book, Sarah Palin to guest star, dancing with a bear, on "Dancing With The Stars"

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
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Judge Tut Dead

Judge who ruled against posting of Ten Commandments in Courthouse eaten by locusts!

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
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Another Conspiracy

A collector has unearthed what experts think is the last known photo of Abraham Lincoln. Blowup shows possible second shooter from another box at theater or a big splotch on film..

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
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Water Full Of Drugs

A Whole range of pharmaceuticals have been found in fish near waste water treatment plants. One crawfish seems to be trying to write sequel to "Trout Fishing In America" in the dirt.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

"Pow! Zoom! Right To The Moon!"

One of India's new $2,000 Tata Nano cars that hit big SUV apparently seen on the moon with Alice Kramden.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Jung Threatens Balloon Boy

North Korea's Kim Jung Il has threatened to shoot down any spy planes going over North Korea territory. "That go for Balloon Boy ah-so", grins leader.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Obama Leads Cheer

President lines up Chinese, visitors from the Great Wall and leads "Yes We Can!" cheer which translates into "I'm full of shit!" as crowd applauds loudly!

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Like A Kid In A Toy Shop!

Vice President removed from President's desk after playing "Button! Button! Who's got the button?" with red button to order nuclear missile launch.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Obama forgets Gunatanomo Bay, bloodthirsty tourists are fuming!

Bloodthirsty tourists booked on a Guantanomo Bay "Torture Special" have been let down by Obama, he forgot about it! On his trip to China and North Korea he was too busy licking their boots!

written by Jaggedone, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Free Market Trade

Ky-Jelly going for over $50.00 or a carton and a half of cigarettes at Illinois prison", says retired 33-year-old guard.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Caged moron, Alex Reid dumped in the real cage and get's his "butt burned"

Cross dressing publicity seeking moron Alex Reid led by his bonking Nympho, Jordan, get's his butt "hot rodded" in prison, he swears, "I'll never wear fish-nets again!

written by Jaggedone, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Computer Hackers Arrested

Two suspected computer hackers have been arrested in Manchester in a major inquiry into a global internet scam designed to steal personal details. The two were located by hacking their computers.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

"Just Got Carried Away!"

Prez Obama has for the first time admitted that US will miss the January 2010 deadline he set for closing the Guantanamo Bay prison, several other campaign promises made "in the heat of the moment".

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Congress Gets Raise

Congress give themselves raise. Say they are using money saved from keeping company CEO's from receiving huge bonuses.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
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"Holy Cow" Defended

Chicago family, the Carays, say they have the right to call upon a "holy Cow!" when something happens.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
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Bernanke: We're Fine

Federal Chairman Bernanke says US economy is doing fine. Asks to be paid with Chinese currency.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
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Big City Mayor's Meet

Big city mayor's convention on Jekyll Island to discuss mafia now using unmanned drones to hit victims.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Bin Laden Responds After Video

Osama Bin Laden video says last video with him with midgets and goats was a fake.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Obama NOT Losing Weight

I'm not losing weight, says Obama as he hits back at claims stress is causing him to shed the pounds. "Many of us born in Kenya are tall & slim...whoops!"


written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Elton Apologizes Again

Ben Elton apologises for 'gay Prince Edward' jibe during TV tirade against Royal Family... claiming it was 'out of closet....context!'


written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Big Brother Quiz

Big Brother quiz for new school parents: Officials launch 83-point probe into families' lives: "How often do you have sex?", "Favorite position?", "Who did you vote for in last election?"

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Police Budgets Cut

Police budgets could be cut 20% & forces merged into regional super-units, claims top officer. Asks that cuts be made by freeing the less harmful prisoners, running them through gauntlet to freedom.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Britain Flooded Again?

Extreme weather warning: Britain lashed by a 'perfect storm' of gale-force winds, Skoob taking a beer piss outside and torrential rain!

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

High Priced Turkeys For Sale For Half Price?


Tesco's rivals accuse the supermarket giant of trying to dupe customers with half-price turkeys 'that don't add up' as they compare them to double-priced turkeys in display.


written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Spying On Neighbors

Secret CCTV cameras fitted INSIDE people's homes to spy on neighbours outside, mostly show suspicious neighbours mooning them.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Obama Given Free Passage By Press

AP Digs for Dirt in Palin Autobiography; News wire assigns 11 reporters to fact-check former governor's book, but didn't fact-check Obama's, except for cherry tree incident.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Regular Jesse Jackson Speech

Obama: Too much debt could fuel a US double-dip recession, depression, new presidential selection.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Will Be Ready For Prison

He wiggled, jiggled and even dropped his trousers, but a thief in Portugal stayed stuck fast in a tiny window until he was rescued by police & the fire brigade after being "manhandled" most of night.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Three Celebs Advance

Three celebs head to 'Dancing With the Stars' final. All three not sure what dance three can do.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Johnny Depp Sexiest Man Alive

Johnny Depp wins his 2nd 'Sexiest Man Alive' title! Followed closely by, 20 female stalkers!

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Mummies Had Bad Hearts Too

You can't blame this one on McDonald's: Researchers have found signs of heart disease in 3,500-year-old mummies. Also, most serious chariot wrecks were without seat belts.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Just Hang In There

Malaria. TB. Alzheimer's disease. AIDS. Pandemic flu. Genital herpes. Urinary tract infections. Allergies. Traveler's diarrhea. Pharmaceutical industry is working on vaccine to prevent it, by 2050!

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Customer Records Sold

Rogue employees at a major mobile phone company illegally sold millions of customer records to rival firms, Britain's information watchdog said Tuesday. Several call for Rogue to be investigated.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Meteor Showers Disappoint

Meteor showers in Asia disappoint as it is cloudy. Would have clouds seeded days before next time but for risks of some meteors reaching ground through atmosphere changes.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Rare Crocs Found

Rare crocodiles found hiding in plain sight in Cambodia disguised as alligators.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Cadbury Getting Offers

Hershey, Ferrero considering rival bid for Cadbury. Playboy, Inc bids for Cadbury bunny.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Anyway, He's Dead

An Iranian doctor who treated victims of torture at Tehran's most feared prison has died, amid conflicting reports of a heart attack, a car accident or spontaneous combustion.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Taliban Out Sunning Themselves On Rocks

Most Afghans say they are on hold, awaiting Karzai, Obama indecisions.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
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Obama On The Wall

Great Wall: President Obama tours China's iconic site where Nixon walked many years ago and where Bush described it as "What a Great Wall!" in 2005.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
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Iraq VP Vetoes Election Law

Iraq's Vice President, Sunni Bono on Wednesday vetoed part of a key election law, throwing national polls slated for January and a planned U.S. troop draw down into question.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Palin Kicks Off Book Tour

Big crowds expected as Palin kicks off book tour with bijini and white boots!

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
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Not Sure He's "All There"

Competency hearing set for Amish teen facing murder charge by trying to fly of barn with feathers, but landed on elderly man who was 97.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Byrd Still Perched In Senate

West Virginia Sen. Robert C. Byrd has become the longest-serving lawmaker in congressional history. "Tip the canoe and Tyler too, Bully!, To Err is Trueman" shouts gaga Senator who votes by 1,2 farts!

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

A Simple Solution

Afghans say poverty, not Taliban, main cause of war. American leaders ask why don't they just borrow from Saudis, Dubai, etc like we do from Japan, China?

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Obama Criticizes Israel

Obama criticizes new Israeli move on settlements, picking on Islamic combines countries 1,000 times their size.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

"Cow" Apparently OK

A South Carolina woman who heard a giant splash in her backyard discovered a 650-pound cow had fallen into her swimming pool."I didn't know she could even get out of bed", says neighbor.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Nearly $110B Wasted

More than $98 billion in taxpayer dollars spent by government agencies was wasted by the people who want to take over our health care.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Obama Propaganda At Full Steam

Palin angered by 'sexist', Obama controlled Newsweek Magazine cover.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

"Alabama" Attacked For Second Time

Pirates again attack US-flagged Maersk Alabama, but misfired cannonballs bounce off the side, harmlessly.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Environmentally Unfriendly

Prof Brian Box of Muppetsville Uni, Florida has invented a car engine with ZERO emissions and needs no fuel, "The downside is it takes 50,000 sperm whales to make it", he said.

written by McIntosh, 18 November 2009
Rating:

All is NOT lost

Scientists have discovered that every lost item in the world can now be found!! Apparently it congregates at a place called "The last place you look", which may assist you in finding lost items.

written by McIntosh, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Satan Visits America

Satan visits the United States to end humanity but realizes that Humans will eventually ruin it for everybody in a few years. He predicts it will be in 2014. He called the Mayans' prediction wrong.

written by Krow1125, 18 November 2009
Rating:

New Bill Vetoed

Senate Thong bill calling for no things to be worn at national parks gets scant support!

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Construction Crew Back

Construction crew in NYC back at work for six months still seem down. When asked why no whistling at the babes one stated, "They've outsourced the catcalls to India."

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Surfer Attacked By Hammerhead

Surfer drowned by shark attack was apparently an attack by a hammerhead shark. "You can tell by the way it tenderized him before eating", says coroner.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rating:

Together After 30 Years

Fireman's widow in New York City who's husband died a year ago has began to go out with her old flame.

written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
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