Order by:
Rating:

Old Pros Home

Residents of the Former Prostitutes Nursing Home in Arizona promise to leave off all the jokes and putdowns if people would start coming to see us again.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

"Mama, There's Balloon Boy!"

Parents of the Balloon Boy are desperately trying to get him into the Macy's Parade at the last moment.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

One Era Ends, Another Begins

Study: Computer messages, games, humor and news may mark the end of "The Couch Potato Years"

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Gordon Brown knocked over at Cosmopolitan awards that honoured Dannii Minogue

Press core ran over him to take snaps of his wife.

written by Tcoah, 11 November 2009
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IBW Staffer has expense details tattooed on his body

But claimed he couldn't accommodate them all.

written by Tcoah, 11 November 2009
Rating:

PM's wife REally showed her WHAT'S ITS!

At Cosmopolitan awards that honoured Dannii Minogue.

written by Tcoah, 11 November 2009
Rating:

In moves reminiscent of the ACORN affair

IBW staffers offer advice to "Vampire Express - we get it to you sooner".

written by Tcoah, 11 November 2009
Rating:

"Doctor Assisted Suicides"

Not to be confused with "Doctor Assistant Suicides", quote from Vampire Express - we get it to you sooner.

written by Tcoah, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Lord Mandelson to become Minister of What's It

"In a move that will see yet more power for Mandy, Lord Mandelson is charged with selling "Gordon's Britain". (Quote from the Daily What's It)

written by Tcoah, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Police Program Working

Ne York Police say that their "Turn in you machine guns for Beyonce DVD Performance" program off to a good start as 2,000 collected the first day.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

UN Warns Iran Once Again

UN threatens Iran that if they continue towards developing nuclear weapons, they will receive "the mother of all wrist slaps!"

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Old People Leaving

Old people lined up at all US airports hoping to leave the county before health care death panel completed.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

IBM announces legal suit against International Business Wales (IBW)

IBM claims recent expense issues at International Business Wales is harming International Business Machines (IBM).

written by Tcoah, 11 November 2009
Rating:

IBW want to sponser NSA's New X-Band Radar

Thinking "X-Band Radar" has something to do with brassiers or other 'personal items', IBW reveals secret NSA plans to install X-Band radar on top of Caerfilli Mountain

written by Tcoah, 11 November 2009
Rating:

NSA wants to install latest

X-Band radar inside Katy Green's "whats its"

written by Tcoah, 11 November 2009
Rating:

UN Claims Jordan's "What's Its"

are altering weather patterns

written by Tcoah, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Lindsay Lohan 'was having an affair with the Joker'

"But before he died," said Lindsay's mum.

written by Tcoah, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Have You Decided Yet?

President Obama orders republicans out of office after they ask him, "Have you decided on the number of troops yet?" over 200 times.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

You've Been Warned

Rush Limbaugh: President's Health Care Bill includes death list for older folks, soylent green.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Final Bill Up

General Motors recovery hopes are down as final government bill includes undercoating.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Michael Jackson Converts

Marvin Gay persuades Michael Jackson into switching from Mormanism to become an Oligochaetologist.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Hoffa's Remains Found

Michelle Obama pulls up Jimmy Hoffa's boney hand while pulling up late onions in White House garden. FBI: It's always the last place you look!"

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

John McCain On Speaking Tour

New motivational speaker John McCain motivates his audience not to choose Sarah Palin as VP running mate.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Mattel Too Big?

Barbie Doll hits the AARP magazine age. Beginning to look more like Mrs Potato Head.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Prank Goes "Kabloob"

A college prank in Nashville turned deadly Friday after a University of Vanderbilt freshman goes for fictional record of eating boiled eggs set by Cool Hand Luke.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Attorney Tries The Groucho Defense

Guy on trial in Chicago for killing his wife claims that he was trying to commit suicide and he didn't know she was sleeping in his pajamas.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

"You Fed Me Too Much, Mumsy!"

Couple that finally convinces son to get out of the basement and get a place of his own finds he is too fat to get through the door.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

More Problems In Fairyland

Just when Disneyland gets over the arrest last year of Goofy on child pornography charges, it was reported today that Snow White is a cocaine freak.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Always Found A Parking Place At Museums

Huge traffic snarl in downtown New York City yesterday evening after a horse and buggy near Central Park get ran into by a guy in a motorized bathtub.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

New Boobs While You Shop!

Some breast enhancement stores now in the mall, joined with other stores like "Bed, Bath & Bigger Boobs!"

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Not Nice To Fool Mother Nature

Playing with weather stirs debate in China as cloud-seeded snowstorm enters fifth day.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Tobacco Prices Soar!

Big Tobacco blames increase in cost of cigarettes on higher taxes, higher price of strychnine.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

"No Biggy Celebrations Here"

Members of a nudist colony in Arizona say that they don't do "Casual Fridays" there. "They are all casual. No Biggies celebrated at all except by new members, daily, for the first six months."

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Dalia Lama Teachings

The Dalai Lama told reporters yesterday that sex spells trouble even in marriage because there are two different personalities involved. He thus began his teaching of Deep Meditation Ejaculation.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Cave Drawings Deciphered

Archaeologists finally decipher cave drawings: "UFO kidnapped Grog, put stick up Grog's tail"

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

MENSA Agrees With Cash

A new study from MENSA Headquarters in Texas has determined that Billy Joe really shouldn't have worn his guns to town.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Jedward Hooks Up With Squidward

Jedward to appear as Squidward's cousins on Sponge Bob's "Old Friends & Relatives" episode.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

New Neighbors

Wearside citizen tells reporters this morning, "YOU KNOW THAT LOUD SEX WOMAN? SHE'S MOVED IN NEXT DOOR! WHAT?"

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Danger of Reading Books Written by JRR Tolkien

Doctors are concerned millions of people are reading books at night, written by the eminent author JRR Tolkien. People are being warned that such a practice could be 'Hobbit-forming'.

written by IN SEINE, 11 November 2009
Rating:

A Suffolk Council Are Inundated with Disabled Badge Replacements

Millions of disabled parking blue badge holders are reapplying to Suffolk Coastal District Council because of the way the details are written with a pen using dodgy ink.

written by IN SEINE, 11 November 2009
Rating:

UN Warns NKorea Again

The United Nations has issued a "Strong Condemnation Message" over the North Korean nuclear missiles headed toward the NYC building.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Thought It Was Ex-Wife #2

Country Music Mag says that Willie Nelson was so wasted after his show Monday night that he called up the IRS and told them he was sorry, apologizing and crying till they hung up.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

More Aliens Dead

Rumor: More aliens were discovered dead in New Mexico last night. They had apparently died after consuming two jackalopes at a taxidermist's residence during the night.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Rooks Making Hooks

In Nigeria yesterday, scientists report that they not only have found a large family of monkeys who have learned to fish, but some rooks who are making hooks for them.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

"Eternal" Food Rations Ready

The U.S. is preparing for possible food shortages in the future by storing E-Rations used by troops. These are good for 100 years, thus the term, Eternal-Rations. Vets say "store some laxatives".

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Tuna Swim Atlantic

Researchers announced yesterday that a ten year study shows that tuna swim across the Atlantic. Before that, they apparently thought they crawled across the bottom.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

He's Even A Pied Piper

According to a new survey, New York City has the most rats in all of America. Upon hearing this, President offered to come there and pipe them into the East River.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

The Old Ones Will Be Back

In this year's Fashion Show in Kabul, burqas are a full two inches longer than last years.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Another Beer Conference

President Obama met with Native-American tribal leaders, and they gave him the Indian name "He Who Loves Beer."

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Grandfather Arrested

Grandfather arrested at dawn and held in a police cell for SIX hours for swearing once at council official, fires off a total of 200 loud ones from his cell.


written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

To Each His Own

Where former president George Bush had shoes hurled at him, President Obama dodging Nobel Prize flingers.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Public Getting Suspicious

Asteroid passes just 8,700miles from Earth - with only 15 hours warning. NASA says, "Whoops we did it again. At least there was no panic."

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Job Seekers Wrongly Branded

Thousands of job seekers wrongly branded as criminals because they have same names as offenders. Authorities say parents should think first before naming children, "Hitler, Rasputin".

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

20% Do Not Contribute To Economy

One in five people of working age contribute NOTHING to the economy for first time in almost 40 years. However, many do say that they toss coins into charity fountains.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

No Fasting Required

Patients do not need to fast before having their cholesterol tested, a major report has found. However, eating three Big Macs for breakfast before tests is discouraged.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

War Dead Remembered

Still more services to remember world war dead. Few services remaining to help those still alive.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Baseball Updates

Baseball GMs pass on expanding instant replay, Yankee's team salary to one trillion dollars.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Giraffes Making Comeback

W. Africa's last giraffes make surprising comeback. Snobbish animals finally admit others trying to help them survive. More necking going on out in the open.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Human DNA In Animals

UK starts study on using human DNA in animals. Animal DNA already discovered in Osbourne family.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Judge Rules Against Joe Jackson

Judge: Joe Jackson can't challenge will executors. Joe responds but we cannot print it.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Brazil Blackout Ends

Lights return following Brazilian blackout! Over 100,000 claim they got into the wrong house by mistake. Thought possessions were their own.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Code Talkers Meet

Navajo Code Talkers break silence for Veterans Day! "Germans never could figure out, 'Kemosabe'", laughs Navajo chief.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

PRIDE Joinig Lion's Club?

Operation P.R.I.D.E. gets funding for new projects. PRIDE say they may join the Lion's Cub...Club!

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Swift Wins Another

Swift wins 2nd straight BMI award for top song. Billy Joel gets special award for six-months without auto accident.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Koreas Battling Again

North and South Korea navies clash briefly just ahead of Obama's visit, but delay all-out war until President leaves.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Then Why Use Them During Tests?

Experts: Placebo power behind many natural cures. "Tree bark and herbs only good to use to make into drugs that cure", says group of physician.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Lots Of Rumbling

Philippines' Mayon volcano spews ash, could erupt. Same thing happening with Venezuela's Chavez.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

American Dream House Only Dreams?

Five percent of Americans plan to buy a home next year. Only one percent say they expect to be able to realize their plans.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

I Promise

Brazilian college student promises the school administration not to wear mini dresses anymore. She came to class naked the next day!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 11 November 2009
Rating:

A Growing Problem

A group says organic crops reduce the carbon footprint. A counter group claims organic farmers are full of fertilizer, their crops are worse on the environment. Police broke up the ensuing fistfight.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Chinese Health Care

China asks US House Speaker Pelosi to run their health care reform program. The USA then cannot cite China for human rights violations, as Pelosi rams unwanted mandates down people's throats!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Clinton Pushes Health Care Reform

Former President Bill Clinton urges Senate Democrats to pass health care reform legislation. He specifically stressed OB/GYN services for women.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Ahmadinejad Defects

Iran's President Ahmadinejad defects to Israel, asks for asylum, says he cannot get a decent Pastrami sandwich in Iran. Israeli officials have him in isolation until he stops glowing in the dark.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Garlic A Cure-All?

A new study shows that garlic can help in the prevention of cancer. Also, neck bites, French kisses.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

"You're In My Seat!"

In all the confusion on the hastily called health care bill Saturday night, some moderates of both political parties moved toward the middle.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Doctor Assisted Suicides?

Captured Taliban reveals that suicide bombers in Afghanistan are "doctor assisted". "Once privates removed, we just turn them loose."

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Cubs Down To Broomsticks!

Yankees expected to win world series again next year as Steinbrenner purchases all the world's baseball bats.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

PETA's Plan Peters Out

PETA's idea for animal crackers to be made in the shape of endangered species is not working, as young children, Ozzy Osbourne love to bite off their heads!

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Second Clone A Dork

South Korean doctor announces that a clone is very much like the original person, but the clone of a clone is a regular village idiot.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Brown Has New Job

President Obama in California next week to appoint Jerry Brown as the new Medical Marijuana Czar.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
Rating:

Final Score, Castro 3, Kennedys 0

A new version of "Survivor" is planned for the Spring of 2010 that will include Fidel Castro in the cast.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2009
« Oct 2009 November 2009 Dec 2009 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
62
2nd
66
3rd
68
4th
68
5th
56
6th
74
7th
85
8th
81
9th
75
10th
70
11th
81
12th
76
13th
69
14th
91
15th
61
16th
85
17th
80
18th
57
19th
68
20th
58
21st
75
22nd
63
23rd
76
24th
74
25th
66
26th
58
27th
96
28th
61
29th
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30th
83
 

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