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Rating:

Teacher Collapses when driving - Boys save Bus

A teacher collapsed, when driving a school party home from a rugby match. The teacher had apparently had a fit! Whether it was before or after a pupil stabbed him in the back, nobody knows?

written by IN SEINE, 04 March 2009
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World Hunger Eliminated

The U.S. Food And Drug Administration has approved the sale of Viagra for rabbits, thus solving the world hunger problem in one fell swoop.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Most Muslims Love Americans

A new poll out March 8th reveals that 90% of the world's Muslims love American foods, automobiles, music, heads.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Mafia Doing Their Part For Environment

Several members of the Mafia have sent an unsigned letter to Greenpeace saying they have decided to do their part for the environment by dumping bodies at city dumps and using only copper bullets.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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New Dylan Album In April

A "Surprise" and as yet untitled Bob Dylan album will be released in April. There will be three interesting duets with Dylan singing with Kermit the Frog, Wavy Gravy and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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"Pirates" Released

The United States Navy has released nine suspected Somali pirates yesterday after an examination revealed that their shivers had never been timbered.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Hillary Make Symbolic Gesture

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton met with Palestinian leaders again today and, as a symbolic gesture, laid one brick upon another.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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China: Welfare For All

Chinese leaders are reported as considering welfare for all, especially for those rich enough to replace them as the country's leaders.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Schwarz On Pot?

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has been accused of smoking marijuana by an aid. "You should have heard him", stated Leslie Harrison. "You could understand every word he said."

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Bush Back In News

The United States private sector cut 697,000 jobs in February. Former President Bush asks, "Where will we find jobs for that many eunuchers?"

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Hillary Warns Israel, Palestinians

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has told Israeli leaders that home demolitions are "unhelpful." Last week she told Palestinian leaders that firing rockets into Israel daily is "naughty, naughty."

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
Rating:

The Hague Issues Warrant

The International Court at the Hague has issued a warrant for Sudanese leader Bashir and offering a huge reward. Be sure to watch "Most Wanted" this week.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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New School Recommendations

A new report says that American school children's meals are too sugary and fatty. They recommend daily cereal with more fiber, like "Frosted Wicker Chair Bits."

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
Rating:

Russian Predicts U.S. Collapse

Russian scholar Igor Panarin says the United States will collapse sometimes during 2010. "Unfortunately, the rest of the world by the end of 2009."

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
Rating:

Moon Discovered Circling Saturn

To the surprise of many astronomers, a small moon has been discovered circling Saturn, somehow hidden among it's rings. "Let's face it", stated one expert, "they already have a cloaking device."

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Oldest Brain Discovered

The oldest fossilized brain has been discovered in Kansas, even older than that of Senators, Byrd and McCain, Regis.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Kids Contain Less Lead

A new survey finds that today's youth has less lead in their systems than those tested 20 years ago. They credit more use of ink pens.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Taco Bell's New White House Menu Items

Taco Bell announces that in honor of the president and his wife they will be adding two new menu items...The Brobama Burrito and The First Mama Enchilada Plate.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 March 2009
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Another Bank Bailout

The latest bank that's petitioning a bailout is the West Bank. In response, Secretary of State has promised $900 million to rebuild.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Toreador Blind-Sided

A Spanish toreador, winning battle with enraged bull, gets blind-sided by a mad cow in Madrid yesterday.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Hustler Magazine Lays Off 112

Larry Flint's Hustler Magazine has had to lay off two writers and 110 photographers because of the current economic downturn.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Art Tour Canceled

Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas announced today that the National Art Tour in Gaza has been canceled until further notice, bailouts.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Students New Mule Train?

U.S. colleges are warning students going into Mexico during Spring Break not to drink any spring water nor accept $1,000 for becoming something they call a "mule" when returning to the U.S.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Just Coincidence?

Pakistan has allowed the Taliban a free land zone to practice their beliefs of public executions and beating women at random. Also, the government there has purchased a dozen daisy cutter bombs.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Retirees Getting Desperate

Money Magazine's new poll reveals that almost 50% of the nation's retirees have had to boil and eat most of their nest eggs.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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New Word For Economy

For the first time today the Federal Government used the word, "Kevorkian" to describe the present United States economy.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Berkeley Sex Study Released

In a new study conducted at Berkeley, 90% of gays there reported accidentally walking in on parents having sex, as children, 100% who walked in on grandparents.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Russian Tanks Headed North

Russian troops and tanks seen headed for the Arctic Circle after a breakaway iceberg claims it's independence.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Obama Gone "Nucklur"

Barack Obama apologized to his audience after saying "nucklur weapons" today. "I knew I would sooner or later", stated the Prez. "It's like trying to get 'row, row, row your boat' out of your head."

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Circus Fire

A Fire broke out at a circus in Swindon today, fortunately nobody was injured. However, Firefighters said; "The heat was intense."

written by IN SEINE, 04 March 2009
Rating:

Fat Ladies Choir Preparing To Sing In West Brom

The West Midlands Fat Ladies Choir was rehearsing feverishly tonight, after relegation-threatened West Bromwich Albion slid to another home defeat, this time 3-1 to Arsenal.

written by Monkey Woods, 04 March 2009
Rating:

Operation gone wrong

A Slovenian man has awoke from a amputation operation to find doctors had taken the wrong limb. His left leg was removed instead of his right leading to calls for the surgeon to donate his leg instead

written by whatinthe world, 04 March 2009
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Boiled Before Consumed

The Food And Drug Administration has issued a warning that all bottled water should be boiled before consumed.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Credits Motivational Speaker

A Man from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania credits motivational speaker for his having the courage to finally snuff his wife's entire family.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Paranoid Amish Man

Paranoid Amish man tells psychiatrist that he believes that everybody is out to shun him.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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"Hot In Here"

Al Gore blames earth's liquid core and more people saying, "Boy, is it hot in here or is it me?" on global warming.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Georgia Reports Disappearance

The country of Georgia has announced that one of its breakaway republics has disappeared.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
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Snuffing & Stuffing It!

A plumber from Santa Fe, New Mexico has plunged to his death by running off a mountainside and being hoisted upon his own plumber's helper.

written by Bureau, 04 March 2009
« Feb 2009 March 2009 Apr 2009 »
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29
2nd
32
3rd
48
4th
38
5th
67
6th
52
7th
35
8th
36
9th
58
10th
100
11th
65
12th
68
13th
47
14th
60
15th
21
16th
34
17th
50
18th
63
19th
73
20th
57
21st
53
22nd
34
23rd
63
24th
75
25th
63
26th
53
27th
39
28th
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29th
54
30th
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31st
51
 

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