Order by:
Rating:

New Speaker elected

We wanted a Woofer - but we got a Twitter!

written by Blazing Saddle, 22 June 2009
Rating:

On Choosing Subway Cars

New York City subway cars are now designated "Groping" and "Non-Groping". Three already arrested for groping, one for not groping.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Superbug Passes From Humans To Pets & Back

Transmission of an infectious superbug from dogs and cats to humans, and back again, is an increasing problem, a new study finds. Number of humans marking territory, biting others already up 100%.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Not A Drop Of Truth

Brit who's cow's milk contained traces of Mad Cow Disease says that accusations are udder nonsense.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

A Festus For The Rest Of Us

Hundreds of thousands of those that missed TV high definition switchover to march on Washington carrying "Gunsmoke" Banners!

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Ahmadinejad Claims Victory

Ahmadinejad says he won the Iranian election fair and square by receiving 88% of the vote compared to opponents mere 27%.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Teachers To Get Help

Thousands of teachers to be trained as dyslexic specialists say their organization is going bass-ackwards.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Water Being Cut

Families behind with water bills could have flow reduced to just a trickle. "Piss on 'em" says Thames Water.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Dudley Dooright Fails To Show

The woman who was stretched across train track, forced train into emergency stop and then hopped on while wearing a rope for a ride, says her name is "Little Nell"

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Former Model Confesses Bigamy

Former glamour model confesses to bigamy - after marrying husband No.5. Then he confesses that he's Mormon and has 23 wives already.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Swine Flu Side-Effects

Trenton, New Jersey man claims that he has gained 150 pounds after receiving Swine Flu vaccine while his wife, who also had the shot, grunts with heavy breath while under him every time they have sex.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Al Gore Dreams Up Global Warming

Al Gore claims that he was warned in a dream about global warming. "I woke up and even the front of my shorts were wet."

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Santa Retires After One Year

First-Year Mall Santa says he was tinkled pink over last years kids in line, will not be at the mall as Santa again.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Thar She Blows

North Korea has been accused by the UN of using Kim's political enemies to light fuse on long range missiles.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

NKorea Screws Up Missile Launch

North Korean overdoes long-distance missile, as it overshoots Hawaii and in now in orbit around the earth. NASA worried about space station. Blows 100 yard wide hole in the ground that was launchpad.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Republicans Being Persuaded

Obama agrees with Republicans saying country could face major threat if water boarding forbidden. Places Cheney, Rumsfeld, Gonzales under water pressure to convince benefits of his new health plan.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Bush Finally Blasts Obama

Former President Bush opens up against Obama, blaming him for Iraq fiasco, housing mess, bad economy, Hurricane Katrina, slow FEMA response, Swine Flu, Joe Biden's hair plugs not working, ugly dog!

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

One-Billionth Sucker Born

The world, Bernie Madoff, Nigeria welcome the one billionth sucker to be born on planet Earth.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

The Wild Wheeling & Dealing Texas Governor

Governor Rick Perry of Texas has reportedly offered to trade the city of Waco to Mexico in exchange for the Mexican resort cities of Cancun and Cozumel.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Bye Bye Guiliani, Don't Let The Door Hit You In The You-Now-What

Ex-Mayor of New York City Rudy Giuliani tired of his 'non-celebrity' status is vowing to move to Iceland where he will definitely stand out.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 June 2009
Rating:

History Students Poll

Poll: High School students in American History class vote "The Old North Church" and "The Gettysburg Address" as their favorite all-time quiz answers.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Boston's Meowing Mailbox

A two pound kitten that was dropped off in a public mailbox in Boston has been returned to the owner on account of insufficient postage.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 June 2009
Rating:

The Story of The Defective Suicide Bomber

A suicide bomber walked into a police station in Baghdad. The fuse failed to set off the bomb. Five police officers took him out to a desolated desert and used him for target practice.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Wynonna Judd Loses Two Pounds!

Wynonna Judd has said that last week she lost a total of 2 pounds. When asked what she did, she replied that she has managed to stop eating while asleep.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Obama Wins Panel Approval

Barack Obama determined by panel to be the least prejudiced against black people of all our presidents.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Bed Needs Global Warming

Tipper Gore says she's tired of Al's intimate terms in bed such as "Ohhh, Look Out! Here comes a big old cold front!"

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Suit Over Old Song

Man files suit in court over copyright of song, "I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus" only his grandfather's version was entitled "I Saw Mama With Santa Claus And She Was Naked, Using A Whip On His Butt"

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Boogertown In National News

Boogertown wins the rights to display a statue of their founder, Booger T. Washington, on lawn of First Baptist Church! Church to appeal to the Supreme Court.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Telford Teenager Fires Shots

A gun toting teenager from Telford was arrested today for trying to shoot at the church clock. Apparently, the youth was trying to kill time.

written by IN SEINE, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Doctors Successfully Sued

Two doctors from New York whose office was in a suburban shopping center were successfully sued for mall practice, today.

written by IN SEINE, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Air Canada Permits Pets As Hand Luggage

Air Canada has announced that it will allow pets on board as hand luggage. Good news for elephants and their keepers flying from Mumbai to Toronto. This gives a new meaning to the word Jumbo Jet!

written by IN SEINE, 22 June 2009
Rating:

The "First Pooch" Is The Smartest One Ever

Bo, the "First Pooch" is a fast learner. He has already learned how to sit, fetch, and keep military secrets.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 June 2009
Rating:

The Gerry & The Pacemaker's Reunion Tour

The 60s British band Gerry & The Pacemakers will embark on a tour of England. A band spokesman remarked that almost 50 years later, the band name Pacemakers has a totally different meaning.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Vice-President Joe Biden's Wife Jill Likes It

V.P. Joe Biden's wife Jill was asked how she likes being the V.P.'s wife. Jill said she likes it and she mostly just sits around worrying about what silly thing Joe is going to say next.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Makes Diagnosis Harder

Forty-Five years after the dance known as "The Twist" shows that 50 Percent of all 60-70 year-olds have their appendix on the wrong side.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Tee-Shirt World Opens

Local kids in a rotten mood as parents went alone to Tee-Shirt World and brought them back a tee-shirt with "My Parents Went To Tee-Shirt World & Only Brought Me Back This Lousy Tee-Shirt".

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Obama Leaves Rose Garden

President Obama hurriedly left the Rose Garden before his speech on tobacco this morning after he mumbled something about "the dog pissed on the teleprompter"

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Oil, Corn Up!

Monday morning prices fro oil is over $70 per barrel while the price of corn ain't going for chickenfeed.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

New Conservative Group

Conservative MEPs form new group! Will release first album this fall, "Mr. Brown You've Got A Lovely Foot Up Your Ass".

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Robin Williams Leaves Hospital As Patch Adams.

Robin Williams now out of the hospital after heart surgery as he was becoming a pest while visiting other patients as "Patch Adams".

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Geronimo Causing US Flooding?

US officials are seeking the dismissal of a lawsuit brought against the government by descendants of Apache leader Geronimo to recover his remains. Native Americans promise more flooding.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Compromises On Whale Hunting

The annual meeting of the International Whaling Commission (IWC) has opened, with compromise talks between pro-and anti-whaling bloc delicately poised. Boycotting whales say , "Stuff it up blow-hole!"

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Aussie E-Mail A Fake?

An e-mail at the centre of opposition attempts to oust Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd is a fake, according to so-called police.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

British End "I Before E" Rule

british government spells end of 'i before e' rule and the use of capital letters to be an oPtioN.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Thar She Blows!

Meteorologists say Tropical Depression "Badass" could be forming in the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Obama (Spit)To Sign Anti-Smoking Bill

Obama to sign anti-smoking bill in Rose Garden while wearing three nicotine patches, jaw full of "Smokeless".

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Obama Ready For NKorea

Obama: US ready for any threat from North Korea. "If necessary, we'll shoot any missiles down and discuss returning one for them to try to shoot down."

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Jon and Kate Plus Eight to morph into new show with divorce

Updated reality show to cover their searches together for new significant others: "Jon and Kate Double Date."

written by Jalapenoman, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Spoof Joke Elected

As more and more political jokes get elected, a political joke from The Spoof has also been elected.

written by J.K. Baltzersen, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Swine Flu warning

The Department of Health has been sending out emails about catching swine flu from tinned pork products, but these can be ignored as it's only Spam.

written by IainB, 22 June 2009
Rating:

California May Have To Close All Of Its Schools

The California budget crisis could destroy the state's public education system. Gov. Schwarzenegger says the state could end up having to bus all its school kids to Nevada, Arizona, and Tijuana.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Tiger Woods Heckled By Beer-Drinkers

Tiger Woods was heckled during play by about a half dozen beer-drinking spectators. The spectators continued with their heckling until a security guard shot two of the hecklers. The heckling stopped.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 June 2009
Rating:

The Weird Manhattan Armored Car Holdup

Two men robbed a Brink's armored car in downtown Manhattan. Police report that the thieves did not take any of the money. They did however escape with 14 gallons of unleaded gasoline.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 June 2009
Rating:

The Burglary At The Detroit Newspaper Museum

Burglars broke into Detroit's Newspaper Museum. Authorities say that all that the burglars stole was a collection of crossword puzzles. Detriot Police are to say the least quite puzzled.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Miss Korea 2009 Stripped of Her Crown

Miss Korea 2009 has been stripped of her crown. Apparently pageant officials heard that she had remarked to a reporter for The Paris Daily-Croissant that she hates missiles.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 June 2009
Rating:

The Great Big Change at West Point

The United States Military Academy at West Point has voted to change the school's name to the much more appropriate and correct United States Military Academy at East Point.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 June 2009
Rating:

The Fox News Building Has Tons and Tons of Hot Air

A hot air balloon flew over The Fox News Building in Manhattan and it instantly gained a tremendous burst of energy. Reports say the balloon is nearing the coast of the African country of Mauritania.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Most Likely To...

Joe Biden admits that he was "The most-likely To Become A Politician And Burst Into Flames While Lying" in school yearbook. "It was a joke", says Biden, while suddenly bursting into flames.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

"Why, It's Old Puddle!"

Horrible moment for young newly appointed executive at business lunch as guy in striped pants and checkered shirt remembers him as Puddle from high school.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Anti-Rock Rock

The Israeli army announces the invention of a new kind of a sling rock-hurler that can take out a thrown rock in midair.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Smoke On The Water

Survivors of the old rock group Deep Purple to reintroduce a new version of "Smoke On The Water" with startling fifth note.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

FOX New Reality Series

FOX Network planning to do new reality series about dating a 375 pound man, "Joe The Blow Hole".

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Robin Williams Improving

Robin Williams still having trouble getting over open heart surgery. Keeps making "Nanoo Nanoo" noises, wants to know when his sisters, Vanessa and Serena are coming to see him.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
Rating:

Oil Back Up

Price of oil going back up over $70 a barrel has many Americans wondering how they'll have enough gas, petroleum jelly.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2009
« May 2009 June 2009 Jul 2009 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
1st
48
2nd
79
3rd
52
4th
56
5th
45
6th
71
7th
74
8th
58
9th
46
10th
70
11th
69
12th
45
13th
57
14th
55
15th
71
16th
58
17th
71
18th
65
19th
63
20th
52
21st
67
22nd
64
23rd
57
24th
77
25th
80
26th
94
27th
71
28th
33
29th
38
30th
82
 

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