Spoof news snippets from Sunday 14 June 2009
Bill Had Taster Also
After discovering that Barack Obama & family had an official taster to taste food before eating while in France, a man who delivered pizza late at the White House says that Clinton had a taster also.
Palin Removes Trophies
Alaska's Governor Sarah Palin cleans up image with Greens as 300 hunting trophies removed from private residence.
I Want My Mattress Money!!
Two Israeli bums arrested after old lady's mattress stuffed with $1 million was thrown away. Bar owner called police after men singing "That ain't working, easy easy money. I want my Mattress Money!"
It's Pretzel Man
Eighty-Year-Old man who seldom drank, never danced until a drink led him to try both yesterday, brought to a Salt Lake City hospital looking like a pretzel.
In Plain Sight All Along
The FBI says that it has intercepted and partially deciphered at least one of Victoria's Secrets.
Take Ten Minutes!
United States Senate votes 100-0 to ask President Obama if it can go to the bathroom and pee.
School Monitor Wedgied
High school being investigated after hall monitor found wedgied so hard his underwear elastic was looped over his ears.
Bush A Father Figure
Bill Clinton writes in his new book that George Bush Sr. was a sort of Father figure to him, the first one he's had since Janet Reno.
Paul Blames Slogan
Ron Paul now blames his bad campaign slogan, "Are you better off than you were four beers ago?' for losing presidential bid.
Bea Arthur's Estate Settled
The estate of the late Bea Arthur's line of store's, "Bea Arthur's Secret" say they have been purchased by Frederick"s of Duluth.
Gardener Finally Cracks
Man held following the murder of 85-year-old widow in her home. "I've had 40 years of Sweet Peas up me arse with not a single rose", says gardener.
Just As Irresponsible
Meedle cl..asses who consumed alkehol at home are jest ast irrespon.syble as bingo dranking young bugsters, shays Bishop!
Stars May Sue BBC
Celebrity stars of Total Wipeout may sue the BBC over injuries. Get ready for twenty more years of Summer Wine and Keeping Up Appearances.
BBC Funding Cut
BBC funding 'to be slashed by £130m' in licence fee shake-up! Get ready for thirty more years of Summer Wine and Keeping Up Appearances.
Gordon's Nanny Jowell
Perfect new role for Nanny Jowell: making sure Gordon gets to bed on time, wee wees beforehand, drinks cup of hot chocolate.
Anti-Aging Drug Works
Doctor gave her Oxford graduate sister fatal 'anti-age' drug, which certainly worked 100%!
Joking Face Bricked
Pictured: The joking face of the nursery worker accused of sex abuse of young children, just before the bricks hit!
Chef Claudia's Cupcakes
The secret life of missing chef Claudia Lawrence - and the 'numerous liaisons' with direct-heated married men, exposed!
Where Are Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli?
Now that Dancing With The Stars has ended for the season. Judges Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli were overheard at a Dairy Queen asking each other, "Okay so what the heck do we do now?"
The Sick and Tired Amy Winehouse
Amy Winehouse admits that she is sick and tired of everyone always asking about her tattoos. She remarks, "Hey, I've got boobs and a butt just like Britney Spears."
"Hey, Is That, That There Dolly Parton Gal?"
Tennessee Power and Light linemen have discovered that a woodpecker amazingly carved a likeness of Dolly Parton on one of its electrical poles.
The Wisconsin Economic Crisis Cheese Tax
The state of Wisconsin has decided to place a $1 economic crisis tax on all of its cheese. The one exception will be Swiss cheese which will only have a tax of 50 cents (because of the holes).
Plumber Finds $100,000 In Confederate Money
A plumber who claims to have found $100,000 in Civil War Confederate money says that it may not be real. An expert on Confedrate money agrees because the picture on the $100 bills is Loretta Lynn.
Kate Winslett's Glass of Tea
Kate Winslett has revealed for the first time that due to the iceberg scene in the film Titanic she has not been able to drink tea with ice cubes.
Half of Israelis open to bombing Iran...
as long as the other half take the credit.
Queen Celebrates Her Birthday and World Elder Abuse Day All In One Go...
Aft'r stuffin' 'er face with birt'day cake, Queen El'zbet kicked 'er 'usband down t' stairs at palace whereupon 'e landed on a Duke from Estonia like.
Man With The World's Largest Penis Fails....
...to get a rise out of TheSpoof.com staff; although they admit he's a persistent pecker.
Yoko Ono and Olivia Harrison to Unite for New Reality TV Show...
...to be presented on Fox Network - 'Pimp My Dead Husband'
Six Flags Files For Bankruptcy
The Six Flags Amusement Park Corporation files for bankruptcy. Long John Silver Restaurants plans to buy it and become The Six Pirate Flags of Long John Silver.
The Next Michael Moore Movie
Michael Moore's next movie will deal with witches, vampires, and demons. He adds that so far he has cast Ann Coulter, Bill O'Reilly, and Lou Dobbs.
Michigan Takes A Step Backward
Some counties in Michigan are replacing once paved roads with old-fashioned gravel roads in order to save money. Meanwhile the Amish community is confused as hell.
Hot Curry Sparks Fire Alarm Aboard Air India Flight
On Jun 12th 2009, Air India flight 191, from Mumbai to Frankfurt returned to Mumbai after a cargo fire alert was triggered and fire suppression system was released. It's true. Google it.
Al Gore Discovered
Al Gore caught trying to catch global warming violators by standing around dressed like wooden Indian Chief holding cigars in his hand.
Flights Out Of JFK Slow
Plane passengers at JFK Airport get back off plane after Airline pilot announces that the co-pilot "Little Jimmy here in my lap would like to say hello!"
99% of Spoof.com Viewers Have No Idea
how to operate the controls underneath the 'Breaking News Snippets' box. Ratings suffer.
The Weekend's Coming Boogie
CBS worrying over Katie Couric after ending her Friday newscast with the all new. "CBS 6 O'Clock Shuffle"!
Rich Yanks Doing OK
New York Yankees average player now makes more than entire Kansas City team, who are now wearing old UPS uniforms.
Got titties?
Justine Ezarik to star in new Fox Network show, 'American Breasts Wanted'.
Bit Of Bad Luck
A yachtsman has told how his "trip of a lifetime" was ruined when his boat's engine failed and the vessel drifted on to rocks & he was kidnapped by pirates, caught the scurvy, lost his leg to a shark.
Washington reopens Holocaust Museum
while New York begins to gas 2000 Canadian Geese.
Bill Clinton Speech
Former President Bill Clinton said Saturday that Americans, especially my wife,Hillary, should be mindful of the nation's changing demographics, which led to the election of Barack Obama as president.
Admadinejad Defends Vote
Iran's Ahmadinejad defends vote as 'real and free' "and I still won! I just can't believe it!"
NKorea On Rampage
North Korea warns of nuclear war, plagues, the heartbreak of Cyriosis amid rising tensions.
Obama Tightens Up
President Obama wants tighter checks on banks, Wall Street, bedroom activities, spoofs about him and his family.
Natalie Cole kidney came from deceased Finn
"I don't mind walking around with some Scandinavian's body part, except this kidney will probably expire in six months."
The Clean Air Society of Pocoima
The Clean Air Society based in Pocoima, California has cancelled this month's meeting due to the horrible smog conditions.
The Tied Iranian Election Solution
Mahmoud Ahmadinejab and Mir Hossein Mousavi have both clained victory in the Iranina presidential election. Both men have agreed to meet at the downtown McDonald's and flip a sand dollar.
The Pocahontas Gambling Casino Deal
The Pocahontas Gambling Casino in Reno in order to bring in customers is offering a free laptop computer with each purchase of $50 in chips.
New On FOX
Richard Simmons to star in the new FOX Two AM docu-drama, "America's Least Wanted".
MJ Moon Walked In Sleep
Lisa Presley in her new book says that her former husband, Michael Jackson, often moon walked in his sleep with a monkey.
Adam Lambert On Clay Aiken (So To Speak)
Adam Lambert says that he does not like Clay Aiken because Clay is way to gay. He then said, "And besides the poor little fella looks like a hillbilly cabbage patch doll."
Here Come The Lakers!
The city of Los Angeles is broke. They will not be able to afford a Lakers victory parade. The Lakers organization has made a few calls and they will be holding their victory parade in Baghdad.
The NHL Champion Pittsburgh Whats?
Now that they are the National Hockey League champions the Pittsburgh Penguin organization has decided not to change their silly name from Penquins to Peafowls.
Where's Danny (Gokey)?
Danny Gokey was asked how come Kris Allen, Adam Lambert, and Allison Iraheta all have signed record deals but he hasn't. Gokey replied, "Ah, because at the moment I am real busy writing a cookbook."
Palin vs. Letterman (The Apology?)
Sarah Palin is not accepting David Letterman's apology about her 14-year old daughter getting knocked up by A-Rod at a Yankees game. Palin said, "Letterman can stick his apology up his Top Ten List.
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