Order by:
Rating:

38% of votes for Ahmadinajad came from small southern region

Yoting irregularities in the Iranian general election are being investigated as it emerged that 38% of the votes for Mahmood Ahmadinajad, and 40% of the total vote, had come from Al-Qansohr.

written by FrankieBiggsy, 13 June 2009
Rating:

One Hump Leads to Another Two!

A 3-year-old Bactrian Camel called Douglas must have 'humped' one of the ladies, as she has given birth. The camel is endangered because it has been born in Liverpool and they will nick anything.

written by IN SEINE, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Have You Seen This Remote?

Guy with shorts to ankles wearing beanie and no socks seen putting up pictures of his lost TV remote all over town.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Getting Really Forgetful

Study reveals people are getting more & more forgetful as they get older: Naked dad in living room, "I'm sorry guys but I've forgotten which part of my ass to wipe. I mean, it's such a mess in there."

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Chocolate

Researchers at Yale University say that chocolate may be good for pregnant women. However, they say it is not good for women who just look pregnant.

written by IN SEINE, 13 June 2009
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That Long, Really?

New York City police Precinct Sign says: "22" Days Without Beating Defenseless Man On The Ground".

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Computer Programmers Face Crisis

Many computer programmers are worried that they will not be able to live off their net income.

written by IN SEINE, 13 June 2009
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Bumper Stickers No Help

Popular bumper stickers, "My Kid bricked Your Kid" and "My Kid Used Grenade Launcher At Your Kid" not helping Middle East situation.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

I Seeeeeee You!!

Teen running girls all over county high school grounds while wearing X-Ray vision glasses until he stumbles and falls into sewer.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Guy Switches Channels

Guy watching baseball game on television finally changes channels after seeing tenth angle of whether the ball was touched by a fan.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
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Nuclear Retaliation?

Nuclear terror would strain day-after bomb sleuths as to who launched and how. Cheney: Blast them all, then we'll be sure.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
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Pentagon Cuts Back

Weapons makers look overseas as Pentagon cuts back. Offers Taliban twenty million dollars for 100 suicide bombers.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

700,000 On Digital TV Hotline

Digital TV hot line gets 700,000 calls over switch. Typical question: "Oh we have the converter box, but which switch is which?"

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Not Like Old Disney

Tourist family say that Disney World is getting entirely too commercial, too touristy.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
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Enjoy Your Summer

School children enjoy summer before going back to school and staring out windows while the old fart fizzles on & on about something.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
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June In Paris

Huge downpour in Paris lasts for two hours as many get first shower in months. Streets all smell like perfume.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
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Death Of A Vending Machine

Vending machine left broken and naked on laundromat floor after cheating hoodlum out of a nickel.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Loners Sign Pledge

Psychotic loners sign camp pledge before leaving, "I will not blow up my school this year."

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
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Next weekend's Father's Day Summer Solstice Solar eclipse opposes Pluto! (gulp!)....

Bad, Bad karma if you forget to buy him a prezzie this year!

written by queen mudder, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Human Anatomy: A Mystery to most!

With only 50% of the population knowing where parts of the human anatomy are to be found; is it any wonder that politicians are heartless, spineless, lily-livered and in some cases, brainless!?

written by IN SEINE, 13 June 2009
Rating:

A man has had broken leg for 29 years

POOR CHAP! A man has been walking for 29 years on a broken leg following a motorcycle accident. Doctors said that "if it was a broken arm, he would NOT be walking on it!"

written by IN SEINE, 13 June 2009
Rating:

A strange occurrence

The Queen celebrated her official birthday with the trooping of the colour, although Freddie Mercury was nowhere to be seen.

written by IN SEINE, 13 June 2009
Rating:

A Xerox Reminder

Remember, the Xerox Company says that their new copier, the X-7 model, will be the only one able to copy asses after December 31st, 2009.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Blears Regrets Actions

"Stupid, thoughtless and cruel": Hazel Blears reveals her regrets at knifing PM Brown, twisting knife, knee into groin!

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
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Fiat To Use American Workers

Fiat says it will use American workers on just purchased Chrysler. "Just come on over to Italy!"

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Letterman To Go Hunting?

Sarah Palin has forgiven Dave Letterman about his comments about her daughter. She and former VP Cheney have even invited him to go on a hunting with them trip next month.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Biden Eating His Shoe Again

Joe Biden: "If you have an old television set, it will not play until you digitalize it. Come to think of it, neither will the wife. hee hee! Was this mike still on?"

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Obama Promises Zimbabwe Aid

US President Barak Obama has pledged $73 million in aid to Zimbabwe. Let's see... that's $73 million or £43 million or 25 Zimbabwean dollars.

written by IN SEINE, 13 June 2009
Rating:

White House Intrigue

Michelle's mother seen opening White House door at 2 AM and showing Obama, bodyguards carrying pillows the way out.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Judge Rules On Pop-Up

Judge in instant replay rules that pop-up in the infield rule applies even if it's involved in foul play.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

The Quiet Animal Whispering World (Shhhhh)

Dog whispering is a good job. Horse whispering is a good job. But Drew Corkin of Tampa said that alligator whispering is not worth a damn. Last year he reports that he only made $283.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 June 2009
Rating:

The Space Shuttle's Wardrobe Malfunction?

The launch of the Space Shuttle Endeavour has been postponed because someone, with the initials B.L. forgot to load the Tang.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 June 2009
Rating:

The Counting Business Keeps Going Up

The American Census Taking Association has just announced their new slogan for 2010. "You Can Count On Us - Because We Can Count On You, and Together We Can Both Count On That."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 June 2009
Rating:

The 25th Anniversary of The SOB Exxon-Valdez

2009 marks the 25th anniversary of the Exxon Valdez 10.8 million gallon oil spill in Alaska. In tribute the state will spill 10.8 million gallons of chocolate syrup on Governor Palin's front yard.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Andy Murray hails new Wimbledon roof

British tennis #1, Andy Murray, has given the thumbs up to the roof on Wimbledon's Centre Court. "When you have coarse,frizzy hair like mine, the slightest amount of rain is your enemy" he said.

written by FrankieBiggsy, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Natives Are Restless

Native Americans object to sports teams being called Braves, Indians, Redskins ,etc, threaten to do continue doing secret "bankruptcy dance" all summer.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Young Joins Mellencamp Concert

In Indiana, Neil Young made a surprise visit at a John Mellencamp concert. After singing, "Four Dead In Ohio" with John, crowd told him he was in Indiana. They then sang "Two Embarrassed In Indiana".

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Women Gone MADD?

At a MADD meeting in NYC yesterday, three women suddenly became very angry and bit two others plus a policeman, all three scheduled to have shots today. Women's heads being sent off to see if rabid.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Arkansas Reports On Clintons

Arkansas researchers of ancestry say they have proof that Bill and Hillary are "second" cousins, not first. So this still doesn't explain Chelsea.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
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Two Percent Savings

In a money saving effort, President Obama declares Delaware and it's paltry land area to be divided up into surrounding states. Immediately saves US two percent. Now eyeballing Rhode Island.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Cheek Surgery Backfires

Patient dies after having buttock fat injected into her face as her cheeks explode.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Lightning Ruins Sausage Cook-Out

Burnt on the barbecue: Man electrocuted when lightning struck fork as he cooked sausages, says he'll be OK but will never grill outdoors again. Sausages completely ruined say angry guests.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Obama Promises Aid

President Barack Obama has announced $73m (£44m) in aid for Zimbabwe. "Just as soon as we get that trillion dollar loan from China."

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Queen's Busy Birthday

The Queen has celebrated her 83rd official birthday with the Trooping the Colour parade in central London. Then rushed to US to see George Bush Sr. jump out of plane to celebrates his 85th.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
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Lord Mandelson Warns Brown

Lord Mandelson has warned that Gordon Brown could face a further challenge to his leadership in the future. "I mean, there always has been sooner or later", states Lord Mandelson.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Bodies Removed From Spainish War Graves

Seven bodies have been removed from Spanish Civil War graves in the first round of a court-ordered exhumation. Meanwhile, Generalissimo Francisco Franco remains dead.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Australians Getting Help

Thousands of demonstrators have rallied across Australia to demand greater government action to protect the environment from climate change. Government asks aborigines to use special dances, chants.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Message Found In Bottle

Butler County, Kentucky couple finds 70-year-old message in a beer bottle sitting on shelf. Mostly gibberish by drunken great Uncle, a drunk.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Taliban Claims Credit

Taliban claim responsibility for slaying cleric, results of Iran election, boy being hit by meteorite, Susan Boyle losing 'Briton's Got Talent'.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Space Shuttle Scrubed

NASA scrubs Saturday morning space shuttle launch after huge flock of pigeons poop all over it during the night.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Now Believes In Chance

A 14-year old German boy was hit in the hand by a pea-sized meteorite that scared the blazes out of him and left a scar.
Family plans to buy a single lottery ticket.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

North Korea Being Defiant

North Korea says it will 'weaponize' its plutonium, spread the Swine Flu, straighten out Kim's warped head, let the rabbit eat all the Trix he can hold!

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Tehran Tense

Tehran tense after disputed election results, no sex being allowed until after the race has been conceded.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2009
Rating:

The Fondling Louisiana Baker

A baker in Shreveport, Louisiana admits that he fondled a female customer's donut.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 June 2009
Rating:

The Tobacco Company's "No Smoking" Rule

In an unprecedented move the R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Company has issued a "No Smoking" rule in its corporate office. Violators will be given a raise and/or a promotion.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 June 2009
Rating:

The 1st Annual Kim Jong Il Look-A-Like Contest

South Korea had to cancel it's 1st Annual North Korean leader Kim Jong Il Look-A-Like Contest because they could not find anyone that even came close.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 June 2009
Rating:

Ross Perot Is Back

Billionaire Ross Perot trying to get back into the spotlight buys Oshkosh, Wisconsin.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 June 2009
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