There were 1,868 spoof news snippets published in June 2009. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

Order by:
Rating:

Michael Jackson Dead

NAMBLA observes moment of silence

written by Daniel Williams, 25 June 2009
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Michael Jackson Dies of Heart Attack

In other news, NAMBLA is searching for a new spokesman

written by Daniel Williams, 25 June 2009
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Jackson's Death Rocks Business World

Lojack© Corporation says it will discontinue its Lojack For Kids© program

written by Daniel Williams, 26 June 2009
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Jackson's Death: Oh Ye of Little Faith

Estimates show that as many as 23% of atheists now report a belief in a higher power

written by Daniel Williams, 26 June 2009
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King of Pop Dead

Children all over Iran heard to be chanting "Allah Akbar"

written by Daniel Williams, 25 June 2009
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Authorities Discover Incomplete, "Disturbing" Jackson Family Photobook

Police decline to comment on the pictures of Jackson with his children, except to say that the working title was "Hop on Pop"

written by Daniel Williams, 26 June 2009
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Michael Jackson Busted!

Pays ultimate price in a cosmic episode of "To Catch a Predator"

written by Daniel Williams, 26 June 2009
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Michael Jackson's Death Leaves Aftershocks

CEO of Fox Broadcasting Company announces they will be canceling their newest reality program, "Touched by a Jackson"

written by Daniel Williams, 26 June 2009
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Psychologists Say Jackson Misunderstood Golden Rule

Jesus did not mean that he should do to little boys what he would like them to do to him.

written by Daniel Williams, 27 June 2009
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Grim Reaper Tries To Make Ammends

His press secretary says to make up for the death of Farrah Fawcett, he decided to take out two scourges on society:Michael Jackson, and Billy Mays.

written by Daniel Williams, 28 June 2009
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April Fools!! Well, sort of...

China says press release stating support for recent North Korea activity "just a gag," Chinese equivalent of April Fools joke. Meaning lost on Americans completely unfamiliar with Chinese calender.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 01 June 2009
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A Hell of a Story

Superstitious spoof writer bids TheSpoof.com farewell when published article mysteriously stalls out at 666 views.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 01 June 2009
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What happens in Vegas will no longer stay in Vegas

With city's unemployment rate at 10.4%, Vegas betting everything on same sex unions, hoping to hit jackpot as quick-marriage capital of world rakes in tourist dollars from visiting newlyweds.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 01 June 2009
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No wonder they look so good!

Homeless man seen pretending to water fake plants outside hotel, hoping to collect tips from passers by for his diligence.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 02 June 2009
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Americans Deny Changes

Claim they haven't squandered their freedom, are still taking care of everything in due order so the government won't have to, so why would we even need Obama's "socialist" programs?

written by The San Francisco Onion, 10 June 2009
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Not fit for human consumption

Watch out for warning labels: Lyle Huffer of Cleveland, OH sues biodiesel maker AgroGo. His lawyer claims he drank their product believing it to be "brain fuel."

written by The San Francisco Onion, 10 June 2009
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English: One million words and counting

At 5:22 a.m. Wednesday. Vagiphallomania - the obsessive need to read articles about the man with the world's largest penis and the woman with the world's largest vagina.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 10 June 2009
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Cat Killer "Just Practicing"

Tyler Weinman, accused of serial cat murder, claims best friend's older brother offered him job at nearby slaughterhouse. Weinman also called non-vegetarian cat owners "hypocrites."

written by The San Francisco Onion, 17 June 2009
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Copycat crashes BART train in San Francisco

Virtual replay of recent D.C. Metro collision. Experts say media coverage of crimes/tragedies may lead some people to emulate what they see... On second thought, forget you even saw this snippet.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 24 June 2009
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Severe weather really makes an Impression

Monet's "Water Lilies" seen floating through streets of Budapest after worst flooding in 40 years hits Hungary, turning roads to waterways.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 25 June 2009
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Ever heard of Pearl Harbor?

North Korea apparently never heard about the transformation that occurs in lazy, undisciplined Americans when you launch an attack on Hawaiian Islands.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 25 June 2009
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China refuses N. Korean fireworks sale

Dear Leader Kim Jong-il seeks to buy 100 million bottle rockets from neighboring China for $6.5 million, reportedly to launch a warhead at Hawaii this July 4th.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 25 June 2009
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Burgers don't actually build better bodies

Upstart burger chain Karl's Junior pushes unreality envelope, using endless string of unbelievably hot girls to sell food that will eventually turn them into fat, undesirable cows.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 25 June 2009
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Fancy footwork, for a phantom...

Michael Jackson's ghost seen Moon-walking up and down Hollywood Boulevard.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 26 June 2009
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What the hell's going on around here?

Spoof writer wonders why Jackson stories rack up thousands of views per hour while Farrah Fawcett stories sit idly by, almost completely unread. Notes Fawcett's 1976 poster still #1 pinup of all time.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 26 June 2009
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Another conservative deals blow to sanctity of marriage

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford becomes most recent Republican exposed to have participated in Grand Old Tradition of cheating on your spouse.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 25 June 2009
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Farrah Fawcett's Phantom

Rash of "Charlie's Angel" sightings in Los Angeles, San Diego areas. Ghostly glamour girl recognized by locks of feathered hair, gleaming-white smile, and two large nubs under flowing white robes.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 26 June 2009
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Michael Jackson Fakes Death!

King of Pop follows example of The King, going into hiding to escape media attention, says anonymous source close to Jackson.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 26 June 2009
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Jacko's premature death blamed on anti-aging equipment

Manufacturer of EZ-Rest Hyperbaric Chambers facing suit by MacCauley Culkin after valve in device triggers Jackson's cardiac arrest.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 26 June 2009
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Ciara Is A Big Fat Liar!

The confession Ciara made in the BET Awards about Michael Jackson calling her turned out to be a big lie the songstress tried to make up in order to increase the sales of her new album Fantasy Ride.

written by Mig93, 30 June 2009
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Selena Gomez says Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift intentionally look for media attention

"Certain behaviors are unforgivable. The pressure of the showbiz is not an excuse to this reprehensible drift. These girls always try to attract the attention", Gomez said.

written by Mig93, 30 June 2009
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Aaron Carter Is Still Not Over Hilary Duff

Nick carter's brother, Aaron Carter, is planning a comeback to the music scene and the first single off of his forthcoming album, "Let Go", is about Hilary Duff, his girlfriend... Seven years ago!

written by Mig93, 30 June 2009
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Billy Ray Cyrus Speaks Out

Billy Ray Cyrus is convinced that his daughter, Disney doll Miley Cyrus, has the best voice he has ever heard and that she got that from him.

written by Mig93, 29 June 2009
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50 Cent believes Michael Jackson

was ripping off some of his big early hits and so he considers himself as a part of MJ's success

written by Mig93, 28 June 2009
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95 Percent of All Lion Bites

The African Council on Animal Bites has noted that 95 percent of all lion bites in Kenya involve Kenyan men. The council concluded that Kenyan women are just much faster runners.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 June 2009
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French Football Team Wear Braille on Kits for Nigerian Friendly

France's national football team proudly wore their names written in Braille on their kits for a friendly match against Nigeria. This gesture was to help the referee who was allegedly blind.

written by IN SEINE, 03 June 2009
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The Country Formerly Known As Wales

The governing body of Wales has voted to change the country's spelling to Whales in honor of the much misunderstood Sperm Whales.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 June 2009
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Milton Keynes Voyeur Caught!

The police arrested an Asian man in Milton Keynes today, for looking into people's windows. He was a Peking Tom.

written by IN SEINE, 03 June 2009
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The IHOP's Are YoHOP's In Latin America

Research scientists are reporting that they believe they have traced the origins of the Swine Flu to bacon strips that were found in the kitchen of a YoHOP Restauant in Puerto Escondido, Mexico.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 June 2009
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BNP Leader Gets Opposition Support

Newly elected BNP leader, Nick Griffin is being egged on by anti-Nazi protesters. Now that's what I call IRONY! (Only yolking!)

written by IN SEINE, 09 June 2009
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Value for Money?

Fraudster, Bernie Madoff, inventor of the credit crunch, was given 150 years in prison at a cost of $1.5 billion. This represents good value for money.

written by IN SEINE, 29 June 2009
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Very Important Traveler's Advisories

The U.S. Department of Travel is advising travelers to stay away from Honduras because of the political turmoil and instability. They also warn to stay away from Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, and Detroit.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 June 2009
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Gay Penguins Rear Adopted Chick

The BBC News reports on their website, that a couple of 'gay penguins' are rearing an adopted baby chick. This is an is an unfortunate turn of phrase - unless of course they are starting young!

written by IN SEINE, 03 June 2009
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Be Careful What You Say In A Cornfield - It Does Have Ears

The Nebraska Center For The Unusual But True Data has discovered that ears of corn can in actuality hear. They cannot hear sounds in the high pitch range, but they can definitely hear.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 June 2009
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Aspiring Politician Denied Office

Aspiring politician and sports fan Eddie Grunt was rejected as a political candidate because he usually spoke the truth. "All politicians are liars," he said.

written by Skoob1999, 18 June 2009
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Teenager to Become World's Smallest Man

Khagendra Thapa Magar, 17 3/4, who is 18 in October, is just two feet tall. When asked; "What he wants to be when he grows up?" His reply was; "I want to be the world's smallest man!"

written by IN SEINE, 24 June 2009
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"LOST!"

A hermit began a 40 day stint of isolation in a tower at Manchester Museum. "I plan to contemplate on things "lost" It's so easy to lie back and think of England" he said. No challenge there then!

written by IN SEINE, 29 June 2009
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All Of The Jupiterian 3000 iPhones Are Being Recalled

The Jupiterian iPhone Company is recalling all 2.3 million of its brand new Jupiterian 3000 iPhones. It seems that they are prone to suddenly exploding when they detect a series of curse words.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 June 2009
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Jacqui Smith Stepped down Today

Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith stepped down today. After working hard all morning cleaning the upstairs windows of her sisters flat (her second home), Ms Smith had to get off the ladder sometime.

written by IN SEINE, 02 June 2009
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Nice Girls More Likely to Get Good Grades at School, Researchers Say

Researchers say that most girls are more likely to get good grades because they are 'nicer'. Of course, this is only theory as a nice girl is yet to be found!

written by IN SEINE, 07 June 2009
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The Biggest Change In The History of Microsoft

In a move aimed at getting rid of their "Soft" image Microsoft will be changing their name to to Microhard.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 June 2009
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UK Government to study 'White Van Man'

The government are getting very creative in the way they waste taxpayers money. The latest is that they've ordered a study of 'White Van Man'. How much this is going to cost? BIGGEST QUESTION: WHY?

written by IN SEINE, 30 June 2009
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Andy Murray complains!

Following last night's almost 4-hour epic at Wimbledon, Andy Murray complained that the match was so long that he needed a break to have a shave because the almost tripped over his beard!

written by IN SEINE, 30 June 2009
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Hulk Hogan To Appear On Dancing With The Stars

Hulk Hogan rehearsing for the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars got carried away and body slammed Cheryl Burke. Miss Burke says from her hospital room that she does not want a rematch.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 June 2009
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Keeping Women Happy

Researchers have discovered that many women are only happy with a man's company when she owns it.

written by IN SEINE, 12 June 2009
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Turkish shopkeeper told he must speak English to sell alcohol

A Turkish shopkeeper in Brighton, has been banned from selling alcohol until he learns to speak English well enough to ask customers their age. Only one problem; all of his customers are Turkish!

written by IN SEINE, 07 June 2009
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Michael Jackson to Go for Recycling

Parts of Michael Jackson that are not biodegradable (that's most of him) will go for recycling.

written by IN SEINE, 26 June 2009
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Dozens of California C-5A Transport Planes Bound For a "Secret" Mission

It has been leaked that Governor Schwarzenegger has approved a plan to take the 53,000 illegal aliens incarcerated in California prisons and secretly release them in an isolated area of Montana.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 June 2009
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New Mexico Woman Has 334 Rabbits in Her Garden

A New Mexico woman woke up this morning to find no less than 334 in her garden. She said; "There were only two of them there last week, I do wonder how many will be there tomorrow?"

written by IN SEINE, 24 June 2009
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London Mint Office Attempts to Stimulate the Economy

The London Mint have made the mistake of striking 20p coins with no date. Collectors are offering £50 per coin for anyone who finds one of 200,000 in circulation. Slot machine proprietors are happy.

written by IN SEINE, 29 June 2009
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Oprah Winfrey Wants To Buy Mount Rushmore

Oprah Winfrey has decided to buy Mount Rushmore. She plans on replacing Theodore Roosevelt with her boyfriend Stedman Graham.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 June 2009
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Bodysnatching Incident

In Davis, CA, a man who used to perform autopsies has been arrested for taking home 157 pounds of human body parts. His bail cost him an arm and a leg.

written by IN SEINE, 07 June 2009
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Blame it on the Google...

Don't blame it on the sunshine, don't blame it on the moonlight, blame it on the Google! As reports of Michael Jackson's death came in, Google had a cardiac arrest too as they went into meltdown!

written by IN SEINE, 26 June 2009
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Chinese Copy of Search Engine

The Chinese have invented their own new search engine. It is allegedly called 'Noodle'. There is also an off-shoot (forgive the pun) for drug users called 'Pot Noodle'.

written by IN SEINE, 26 June 2009
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Wynonna Judd Says "No Way Jose!"

The pleasantly ample Wynonna Judd has turned down an offer by the Tournament of Roses Committee Chairman Jose San Jose to appear in the 2010 Rose Bowl Parade as one of the floats.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 June 2009
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Is It Paraguay or Uruguay?

The South American countries of Paraguay and Uruguay are clashing over which country gets to keep using the 'guay' in their name.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 June 2009
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Obama Promises Zimbabwe Aid

US President Barak Obama has pledged $73 million in aid to Zimbabwe. Let's see... that's $73 million or £43 million or 25 Zimbabwean dollars.

written by IN SEINE, 13 June 2009
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BNP Attempt to Show No Hard Feelings

In an attempt to show that there are no hard feelings, BNP leader, Nick Griffin, is inviting protesters to a breakfast of bacon sandwiches. "NO, I'm not trying to offend Muslims." He allegedly said

written by IN SEINE, 09 June 2009
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Statue of Dickie Bird Causes Stir!

A statue of cricket umpire, Dickie Bird, was unveiled today in Barnesly. The figure is seen 'flippin-the-bird'. However, a flock of pigeons did not find it funny and decided dump on it!

written by IN SEINE, 29 June 2009
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The Great State of Arkansas' New Driving Law

Arkansas passes an "Anti-Texting While Driving" Law. The first offense will result in a $500 fine. The second offense will result in being put in jail and beaten with a computer keyboard.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 June 2009
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Mexico: Se Habla English?

The Mexican Senate has just approved, by a vote of 31 to 23, to make Spanish Mexico's official language.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 June 2009
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The Return of Paul Revere & The Raiders

The 1960s band Paul Revere & The Raiders was going to go on a reunion tour but the members have forgotten all of the lyrics and music.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 June 2009
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Amy "Bow-Wow" Winehouse

A swanky resort in Santa Lucia has banned Amy Winehouse's dogs because the last time she stayed there, they left the suite infested with fleas. Winehouse stated she did not have any dogs...Oops!

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 June 2009
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Tears for Blears?

The ex-communities Secretary, Hazel Blears is to form a pop group called 'Tears for Blears' and her hits will include a cover of the Stranglers hit 'Gordon Brown' and will be broadcast on YouTube.

written by IN SEINE, 12 June 2009
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Council 'Green' with Envy at Retired Florist

A Council has threatened a retired florist with court action if she does not remove flowers she has planted in a car park. "They're only jealous - it's a better job than they could do!" she said.

written by IN SEINE, 24 June 2009
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Gordon Brown in Trouble with Social Workers

Prime Minister, Gordon Brown is facing the wrath of social workers today as he stands accused of making MPs the second-homeless.

written by IN SEINE, 27 June 2009
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No Foul Play in Jackson Death

Because Michael Jackson did not keep chickens, the coroner has practically ruled out "fowl play".

written by IN SEINE, 27 June 2009
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Clarkson buys Dinky toy van for Richard Hammond

In a rare act of altruism, BBC top gear's Jeremy Clarkson bought a rare Dinky van for £6,400. He bought it for his friend Richard Hammond to drive around. "At least he can reach the pedals!" he said.

written by IN SEINE, 09 June 2009
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The Identity of the Stig Has Been Revealed!

The Stig from BBC's Top Gear is now known to be 2 very old, and grumpy, dyslexic Midgets. Formerly known as the 'GITS', a comedy circus act, they came out of retirement and signed up for the show.

written by IN SEINE, 21 June 2009
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BNP Leader in Salmonella Scare

Nick Griffin, the BNP leader is to be forced to carry a label that says " WARNING: this product may contain traces of salmonella."

written by IN SEINE, 09 June 2009
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Jungle News Today

The jungle drums in the in DR Congo reported that a cannibal passed his friend in the jungle this morning.

written by IN SEINE, 28 June 2009
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Queen to Pay Tribute to Michael Jackson

UK supergroup, Queen, are due to re-release their No.1 hit record, "Another one bites the dust!" as a tribute to the King of pop Michael Jackson according to a bloke in a pub in Cirencester.

written by IN SEINE, 29 June 2009
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Air Canada Permits Pets As Hand Luggage

Air Canada has announced that it will allow pets on board as hand luggage. Good news for elephants and their keepers flying from Mumbai to Toronto. This gives a new meaning to the word Jumbo Jet!

written by IN SEINE, 22 June 2009
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Doctors Successfully Sued

Two doctors from New York whose office was in a suburban shopping center were successfully sued for mall practice, today.

written by IN SEINE, 22 June 2009
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The Missile Is Now Leaving For Hawaii

An rich elderly couple living in Honolulu heard that North Korea is planning on firing a missile towards Hawaii. They quickly go on eBay and purchase an anti-missile.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 June 2009
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Eating Nuts Can Reduce Risk of Heart Disease in Diabetic Women

Research suggests that eating nuts can reduce the risk of heart disease in women with type 2 diabetes. However, there is no mention of bolts.

written by IN SEINE, 27 June 2009
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US Pensioners 10 Per Cent Younger Than Their British Counterparts

N.B. this study by scientists EXCLUDES George W. Bush.

written by IN SEINE, 30 June 2009
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The World's Most Phenomenal Computer

HP Computers has just manufactured a new computer that has so many gigabytes that it can hold up to 17 million MP3 songs, (or) 300 photos of Wynonna Judd, Kirstie Alley, and Oprah Winfrey.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 June 2009
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The National Gumball Survey Results Are In

The Products Survey Commission found the most popular color of gumballs in San Francisco is pink. The most popular color in Cody, Wyoming is white, and the most popular color in Harlem is black.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 June 2009
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Rupert Grint Has a Strange Experience Kissing Emma Watson

Rupert Grint who plays Ron Weasley in the Harry Potter films was told that he would turn to stone if he ever kissed a girl. Today he had to kiss Emma Watson and could feel that happening!

written by IN SEINE, 27 June 2009
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One Hump Leads to Another Two!

A 3-year-old Bactrian Camel called Douglas must have 'humped' one of the ladies, as she has given birth. The camel is endangered because it has been born in Liverpool and they will nick anything.

written by IN SEINE, 13 June 2009
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The Frito Bandito Has Been Arrested

Nuevo Laredo's Chief of Police has told CBS News that the famous Frito Bandito has been arrested. It seems that he had gotten involved with northern Mexico's infamos Pinata Drug Cartel.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 June 2009
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Here Comes The Miley Cyrus and Amy Winehouse Musical Tour

Miley Cyrus and Amy Winehouse have signed to go on a 47-city North American Tour. The tour is being hailed as "The Bubbly & Ugly Tour."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 June 2009
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Economy Hits Fishermen Badly

The economy is so bad that fishermen can no longer live off their net income.

written by IN SEINE, 10 June 2009
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Expensive Animal Creation

A genetic engineer was cloning goats. When asked if the process was expensive, he said, "They don't come sheep."

written by IN SEINE, 28 June 2009
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California May Have To Close All Of Its Schools

The California budget crisis could destroy the state's public education system. Gov. Schwarzenegger says the state could end up having to bus all its school kids to Nevada, Arizona, and Tijuana.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 June 2009
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Research Deemed Sexist

Researchers have found that eating nuts will considerably reduce the possibility of a heart attack in diabetic women. Why only women? Could it be that men already have their own nuts?

written by IN SEINE, 26 June 2009
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The Presidential Duck-Quacking Ring-Tone Interruption

President Obama's press conference was interrupted by a duck quacking ring-tone. The guilty party, a reporter for Fox News, was immediately arrested and led away to jail.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 June 2009
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Kissing Ban in School

A Somerset school headmaster has threatened all 1,200 pupils with detention if they are caught snogging. Teachers are now having detention classes of 1,000 plus pupils.

written by IN SEINE, 23 June 2009
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Spanish Bar Invites Insults from Customers

A Spanish bar invites frazzled customers to insult their waiters. It has been reported that Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand are being invited to promote the bar's offer.

written by IN SEINE, 23 June 2009
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