Order by:
Rating:

Movie Companies Agree To PETA Demand

Motion Picture companies agree to PETA demands. From now on it's "No animals were harmed in the making of this picture, except those that we ate."

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Bigfoot Meets Bigass

Lady Sasquatch finally makes appearance and comes out of the woods, picks up hiker by collar and tells him,"Stop calling me that awful name! My feet are small, see Big-Ass?"

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Granpa Loves Wheel, Vanna

Boogertown family say their old grandfather really loves "Wheel of Fortune" and that every time Vanna White comes out, it's "Vowel Vowel Vowel Voom!"

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Hockey Coach Second Job

Hockey coach has second job during the summer in the park, urging little dogs when to poop.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Amish Elders Give In

Amish elders finally agree to take juvenile teenager to psychologist saying that he's been driving parents buggy.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Time To Rebuild

Reading blueprints upside-down leads wrecking supervisor to blow up the new sports stadium right across from the old. He apologizes to players, fans, especially those who were at the game.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Not Much Changed

Today's secret agents still have telephones hidden in their elevator shoes with Yanni ring tones.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Seven-Toed Jackson

Funeral Director says that dancing ability of Michael Jackson helped by having seven toes on each foot. "Probably a men swimmer, too."

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

What Do Nudists Think Of The Swine Flu?

Newly appointed Obama Czar apparently wants to know the personal opinions about the nation's problems from nudists his entire first month in office.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

The Net Nut No More

Man who spends most of his time on the internet chatting forgets to eat and starves to death.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

I Scream, We All Scream For Ice Cream

Fat guy in Phoenix trying to lose weight screams for ten minutes after hearing Ice Cream truck's jingle passing down the street. Hopes to get loud enough that kids can't hear & guy will go elsewhere.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Door Had Been Stuck

Lady in East Tennessee who passed away after opening gas station bathroom door was 54.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Another Obama Appointee

President Obama announces that the U.S. government has not done enough to protect the public from deadly sun rays. He than names Al Gore as the Sun Czar.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Miguel Karam To Appear On 'Hannah Montana'

Lebanese teen act and TheSpoof writer Miguel Karam will be making an appearance in the final season of the Disney Channel hit series Hannah Montana that stars Miley Cyrus.

written by Mig93, 25 July 2009
Rating:

BBC Presenter, James May, to Be Imprisoned in Lego Tower

Top gear presenter, James May, is to play 'Rapunzel' in a tower built of Lego bricks. "I am looking forward to playing the part and it is such a nice place to let your hair down!" he said today.

written by IN SEINE, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Jeremy Clarkson Feels 'At Home' in Belfast's Sewers

Speaking to the gutter press, Jeremy Clarkson, said that he felt "at home" when recreating the scene from the 'Italian Job' which featured 3 Mini Cars travelling at speed through Belfast sewers.

written by IN SEINE, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Conrad Poohs And His Dancing Teeth

have been invited to perform at a White House Gala honoring the Association of American Dental Hygienists. Debbie Rowe will perform the toast at dinner followed by a signing of Petri dishes.

written by Wire Piddle, 25 July 2009
Rating:

President Obama Contracts VP Biden's Affliction

White House announces President Obama has contracted a case of "foot in mouth disease," over his statements concerning Professor Gates. The president's doctor believes VP Biden was the carrier.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Green Man Dies

Man who survived since St. Patrick's Day finally dies. "Mac got really plastered and painted himself green, (He once played the Jolly Green Giant) and has been a vegetable until today", states family.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Still Studying Legalizing Pot

Schwarzenegger still considering legalizing pot to raise taxes. "We could use the millions raised but even if it only raised one million, who would give a rat's ass?"

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Police Round Up Motorized Wheelchair Gang

65 old men in Florida retirement community arrested for presenting themselves as 16-year-olds on internet chat rooms, inviting teens to visit Florida community and awaiting their arrivals on Rascals.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Same Ole, Same Ole

Committee that gave President Obama copy of their conclusions for peace in the Middle East being sued by committee group who gave Bush last year's report for peace in the Middle East for plagiarism.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Terrorists Are Actors

Former member of staff on Al-Jazeera TV admits most of their film features on area terrorists done by actors. "They're really a bunch of pussycats", he tells reporters here.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

"None Of The Above" May Be Next President

Poll reveals that "None Of The Above" leading against Democrats and Republicans in next elections.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

"Other Places Have Violent Events!"

President of Pamplona, Spain says they will not stop "Running of the Bulls" after this year's death. Points out that Hemingway Look-Alike contest still going in US despite over 1500 suicides.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Steam Pipes Getting Old Under NYC

One hundred year old steam pipes erupting under Wall Street could cause Monday to get off to a rough start for investors as many already in the hole!

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Have A Heart, Folks

National Fundraising Telethon planned for those who make over $250,000, once new tax laws go into place.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Geithner: Economy Improving:

Geithner says recession is easing! Cites the fact that there are fewer apple salesmen on the street, not so many police chalk outlines where jumpers hit sidewalk.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Rembered It The Other Way Around?

Amy Winehouse arrested for attacking judge who dismissed charges against her yesterday for hitting fan in the face.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

We Are Well-Known Everywhere

Drunk guy at bar every Saturday night always lecturing on how very many great writers, composers and singers were also alcoholics!

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Houston, We Have A Problem

Things suddenly go silent at Houston Control in Texas as Mars Rover sends back pictures of another Arnold Schwarzenegger.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Seems To Be Working

New police-style powers being given to civilians could create a third-tier police force, magistrates have warned, just before being arrested for misusing public funds and being led out the door.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Clarkson Uses Swear Word

That Bloody BBC TV presenter Jeremy Clarkson has provoked controversy after using a swear word to describe Prime Minister Gordon Brown at a Top Gear recording.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Brown Blamed Again!

Sr. Labour MPs have accused Gordon Brown of being directly responsible for the party's crushing defeat in the Norwich North by-election. "We fought hard but couldn't overcome his dropping his pants."

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

China Lauches Mideast TV Channel

China is launching an Arabic-language TV channel to show the Middle East and North Africa the "real" China. That is, whenever smog finally lifts.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Ruling Kurds Losing Election

Ruling Kurds face poll challenge. In early results, they've fallen whey behind.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Agent Orange Pretty Bad

Agent Orange linked to heart disease, Parkinson's. Military announces that Colonel Orange is receiving treatment at an unknown Army facilities.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Dems Clear One Health Obstacle

House Democrats clear one health obstacle, as representative from Alabama with Swine Flu helped from the building.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Man Accused Of Buying , Selling Kidneys

Brooklyn man accused of buying, selling kidneys. Apparently cook has been placing them inside of pies along with steaks for over 40 years.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Astronauts Install Fresh Batteries

Astronauts install fresh batteries on spacewalk 4. Energizer Bunny asks to be brought back to earth.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Endangered Frogs Found Just In Time

Evidence of endangered frog group found in California restaurant's menu. PETA pissed.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Roman Shipwrecks Found OK

Five ancient Roman shipwrecks found off Italy coast. Picked up by coast guard and brought back to nursing facility that they had wandered away from. "Wonder they hadn't drowned", says Captain.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Toyota/GM Ties Not Working

Toyota to end California joint venture with General Motors as the Hybrid Hummer, Corvair both off to a bad start.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Obama Slashing Number Of Lobbyists

President Obama moves to cut number of lobbyists in half. Asks those still there to bring a lot of extra cash.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

US, Koreas Back To Talks?

North Korea invites US, South Korea to talks in Pyongyang. Could renew argument over size of table, chairs, who sits where, that never was settled in 1950-1953 war.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Testing The Waters

Ousted President Zelaya briefly steps back into Honduras, loses big toe to bullet.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Heavy Firing In Afghan City

Heavy firing erupts in southeastern Afghan city. People there say it's no big thing, just got bored since nothing's been happening for awhile.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Some More News

Ericsson buys Nortel wireless units for $1 billion. So we can all quit worrying ourselves sick over that.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Michael Jackson Investigation Thorough

Sheriff now probing Michael Jackson coroner's employees, their families, friends, people they've met on the street, pets...I think I see one coming to your door now.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Only 40% To Have Flu!

Report: Swine flu could hit up to 40 percent in US, other 60% will simply have 105 degree temperatures, runs and vomiting from regular old everyday-type flu.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Hillary Reassures Mideast If Iran Goes Nuclear

Hillary Clinton set off tremors in the Middle East this week when she said a nuclear Iran could be contained by a U.S. "defense umbrella" & that there's a big rabbit following her everywhere she goes.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Several Million Volunteers To Date

Wanted: Women to eat chocolate for a year! This ad has got to be from Nigeria!

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Obaba About Race Uproar

Obama moves to dampen uproar over comment on race. "Cars should have noise muffled as fans losing hearing while attending NASCAR."

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Bush After Buffalo

Report: Bush mulled sending troops into Buffalo but was afraid of getting into trouble with the Park Service, especially in Yosemite.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Babies Comprehend Fido

Scientist announces that babies can comprehend 'canine' language. "That's why they listen to their Mamas!", yells Smartass from the back.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Gitmo Detainees To US Jails?

Some Gitmo detainees may come to US jails. Many prisoners from New York City say they hope so.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
Rating:

Whoops, Sorry 'Bout That

70-year-old man becomes 70-year-old woman with one missed cut of a scalpel!

written by Bureau, 25 July 2009
« Jun 2009 July 2009 Aug 2009 »
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11th
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