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Credit crisis: interest rates drop

Surveys say that during the current financial crisis, the rate of interest has dropped significantly. The average member of the public now has 20% less interest in the crisis than when it started.

written by MonkeyInTheBath, 20 January 2009
Rating:

The Meaning of 'Financial Liquidity'

An elderly man from Milton Keynes has discovered what 'financial liquidity' really means; When he checked his current pension details today, he wet his pants.

written by IN SEINE, 20 January 2009
Rating:

Czech Euro Art, 'Entropa', Cost Kept at Minimum

It can now be revealed that Czech artists only 'spent a penny' (0.0007€) on the Bulgarian toilet feature of 'Entropa'. Commissioners have been ordered to cover up.

written by IN SEINE, 20 January 2009
Rating:

Computer Virus Hits Jails

A worm has been deveoped by criminals to emerge from bars of soap in the prison showers. It is known as 'The Con-fucker virus'. Infected prisoners can easily be spotted by their smiling faces.

written by IN SEINE, 20 January 2009
Rating:

Citizen Bush

Former President of the United States, George W. Bush stated today that....oh who gives a rat's ass?

written by Bureau, 20 January 2009
Rating:

Bleeding Heart Image Captured

Doctors in London, England have captured the first images ever of a bleeding heart...and yes the patient was a liberal.

written by Bureau, 20 January 2009
Rating:

Hillary Hot

Despite the weather, Hillary Clinton was hot at the Obama Inauguration at not only seeing Obama become president but, with all the crowding in DC, having to share a bed with Bill the night before.

written by Bureau, 20 January 2009
Rating:

Britney Traces Ancestry

According to the National Questioner, Britney Spears has traced her ancestry all the way back to Rehab the Harlot.

written by Bureau, 20 January 2009
Rating:

Man Unhappy About Weiner Size

A mathematician from El Paso, Texas has sued Oscar Meyer Weiners after finding that his foot-long hot dogs are only 11.635 inches long.

written by Bureau, 20 January 2009
Rating:

Speed Bumps and Roundabouts

It has been announced by an anonymous idiot that roundabouts with speedbumps all round them are to be the new craze of Britain. Another addition will be speed cameras and traffic lights.

written by Gregarino, 20 January 2009
Rating:

Parents, Watch Those Names

The completion of a ten-year study by the FBI reveals that over 55 percent of all arrested mobsters have the middle name of "The".

written by Bureau, 20 January 2009
Rating:

Jackalope Flu

The WHO (World Health Organization)says it "Won't Be Fooled Again" over recent reports of Jackalope Flu in Texas.

written by Bureau, 20 January 2009
Rating:

Surgeon General Warning

The Surgeon General warns that the high chemical content of smokeless tobacco could flame up in the mouths of those chewers who still have teeth with fillings.

written by Bureau, 20 January 2009
Rating:

Bigfoot Toe Fungus

The National Questioner reports that a mysterious toe fungus has wiped out a whole tribe of Bigfoot in the Oregon woods.

written by Bureau, 20 January 2009
Rating:

Al-Qaeda Plot Foiled

In the midst of Tuesday's Inauguration, Homeland Security reports that the latest al-Qaeda plot has been foiled by writer's block.

written by Bureau, 20 January 2009
Rating:

WalMart Jittery

WalMart officials said to be jittery after the opening of the first ChinMart in the United States on Tuesday.

written by Bureau, 20 January 2009
Rating:

Limbaugh At It Again

Rush Limbaugh on his show yesterday attempted to link President Barack Obama to radical ties, tee shirts.

written by Bureau, 20 January 2009
Rating:

Suicide Bombers Collide

A suicide bomber headed straight for Baghdad accidentally collided with a suicide bomber headed for Mosul this morning, leaving a huge crater in the ground big enough to hold 144 virgins.

written by Bureau, 20 January 2009
Rating:

Boring Bono at Obama Bash

Boring Bono from Useless2 was making desperate attempts to self publicise at the Obama bash. O'Bama, also of Irish decent, was seen prising the aged rocker from his backside at todays party.

written by jeremy griffiths, 20 January 2009
Rating:

Juan Valdez - A Man, His Burro, His Coffee, and His AK-47

The Colombian Senate taking into account the tremendous revenue generated from the drug market votes to change it's national slogan from "The Land of Coffee," to "The Land of Unmarked Bills."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 January 2009
Rating:

The Chevron Sombrero

The Happy Head Sombrero Co. of Cancun, Mexico gets into The Guinness Book of Records by creating the world's largest sombrero. It is later sold to Chevron who will use it as an off-shore drilling rig.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 January 2009
Rating:

Excuse Me Sir, Is That Your Lipstick?

The winner of this year's Annual Best Looking Moustache Contest in Naples, Italy was disqualifed when it was learned that he was really a woman.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 January 2009
Rating:

For Sale: The Country of Laos (Inquire Within)

Israel fed up with having to constantly fight with it's neighbors has decided to buy the country of Laos and move the entire Israeli nation there, lock, stock, and bagels.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 January 2009
Rating:

A Squirrel With An NYU Sweater

It has been so cold in New England lately that a lot of the wildlife has been seen wearing old discarded sweaters.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 January 2009
Rating:

Welcome To Mexico?

El Paso Border Patrol Agents report that an illegal alien somehow became disoriented and he mistakingly snuck back into Mexico.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 January 2009
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