Gordon Brown only drinks three cups of coffee a day!
Gordon Brown only drinks three cups of coffee a day and still hallucinates! Isn't science crap?
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Unemployment Onward & Upward
A new poll forecasts that we may have an 8.5% unemployment rate within the next few months. The poll may have underestimated the number as, just after it's release, thirteen pollsters were laid off.
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written by
Bureau, 14 January 2009
'Green Shoots of Recovery' Comment taken Out of Context
Business minister Baroness Vadera has said that her comment;
'she could see Green Shoots of Recovery' was taken out of context. She made them when she was showing a Sun reporter her potting shed.
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French Prez Institutes "Lend Lease" to Obama for Inauguration!
Sarkozy announced the rapid air lift of 40,000 war surplus "pissotieres" to help combat the lack of porta potties for the inaugural. Citations for public "waggin' your weenie" suspended till Jan 21.
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written by
Morse, 14 January 2009
Tobacco Meatballs
Finally revealed: Those in the 1950's who became very ill after making Julia Child's tobacco meatballs now told that the recipe was a coded spy message.
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written by
Bureau, 14 January 2009
Arnold Gropes Ahead
Facing a huge state deficiency, Califoria's Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger admits he's still groping around with the state's economy.
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written by
Bureau, 14 January 2009
Gore: Farting Around
When an International Falls resident (-40 yesterday) issued a challenge to Al Gore for his Global Warming theory, Gore replied that "It's just Mother Nature farting around."
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written by
Bureau, 14 January 2009
McCain Rescues Obama's Inauguration
John McCain has come to the rescue of the Obama Inauguration. In order to back up the 5,000 port-a-potties for 3 million people, McCain has organized 25 free adult diaper giveaway stations.
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written by
Bureau, 14 January 2009
Cool Hand Madoff
Bernard Madoff is already thinking about prison life while under house arrest in his glamorous penthouse apartment. This morning he told reporters that he could eat 100,000 Russian beluga fish eggs.
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written by
Bureau, 14 January 2009
Experts Predict Third Party
With women now serving in the office of Secretary of State, Speaker of the House of Representatives and running for President, experts say a third party may develop for 2012 known as The Hen Party.
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written by
Bureau, 14 January 2009
Obama Posters Burned
Iranian protestors have already started burning posters of Barack Obama, plus those of Hillary and McCain they had prepared just in case. Reportedly, someone also burned a snapshot of Ralph Nader.
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written by
Bureau, 14 January 2009
Bush A Shoe In
President Bush has asked all major TV networks for 15 minutes Thursday night to list his accomplishments. So now's the perfect time to throw that shoe through the screen of your old analog TV.
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written by
Bureau, 14 January 2009
Till The Fat Lady Bangs
Loud bang that set off all the shooting during a bank robbery in Boston yesterday apparently caused by fat lady fainting on a bag of chips.
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written by
Bureau, 14 January 2009
PETA Looking Into Barrel Of Monkeys
Bar bet that sent a man over Niagra Falls in a barrel of monkeys being closely looked into by both the ASPCA and PETA.
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written by
Bureau, 14 January 2009
Obama's Choice Questioned
A fight looms in congress over Barack Obama's support for Judge Commandment Banner O'Bortion as next Supreme Court Nominee.
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written by
Bureau, 14 January 2009
Russia Continues Defiance
Russia still being defiant as Russian Opera is now being performed in Havana. The United States counters with a Willie Nelson Concert in Chechnya.
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written by
Bureau, 14 January 2009
Sweeping Budget Cuts Protested
In California, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's sweeping budget cuts have already drawn fire from the National Broom Makers Union!
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written by
Bureau, 14 January 2009
Writer Admits Book Fiction
A novelist on The Oprah Winfrey Show yesterday admitted live before her audience that he had completely made up nearly 95% of his latest science fiction novel.
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written by
Bureau, 14 January 2009
Obama's Kenyan Family ready for the Inauguration
They just hope the pig they killed will be enough for everybody
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