Spoof news snippets from Sunday 22 February 2009
Government focuses on banks' "Bad-Assets"
America enjoys a collective giggle.
Confused Anti-Semitic Graffiti On Synagogue Wall
The strange message read "Jews Go Home. Um. No. I Mean, Jews Get Out Of Israel, It's Not Yours. But Don't Come Here Either. Go To Arab Countries. No. Don't. I Meant Go To Germany. Yeah."
Migrants face tighter work rules
Home Secretary Jacqui Smith says non-EU migrants should not get skilled jobs unless they have been offered to UK workers. That makes no difference really because there are NO skilled workers left.
Hero cop says hes no hero, cop.
When approached by reporters who assumed he was just being modest it was revealed today that a local man mistaken for a hero cop was neither a hero, or a cop.
Spoof Writers Recognised At Last
As of today, by royal decree, in tribute to Spoof writers, anything of excellence shall be referred to as 'The Monkey's Nuts' or the 'Dunc's Donuts.' And that's an order!
Obesity is the 'New' fat!
According to psychologists and nutitionists, obesity is the 'new' fat. However, Prof. Sue T. Dumpling warns; "This cannot be chewed!"
Ricky Hatton Not Gay
"I said I'd put him on his arse. How does that equate to gayness?" said the boxer.
Number 1
'I've Got You,' by the Dooley's reached the top of the charts this week in Bermuda.
Remix
Release of remix featuring Frank Ifield and Sid Vicious titled 'I Remember You, You Bastard' imminent.
Nicked
Two teens arrested at Tesco today for shoplifting batteries and fireworks. One charged, the other let off.
Paper Shop
Disaster at a local paper outlet as it was found to have been blown away.
Large Hadron Collider destroys Universe.
The Large Hadron Collider exploded today creating massive black holes and destroyed everything and everyone in the universe -- except me.