Order by:
Rating:

Kicked Her Bass

San Jose police arrested Bill Acton after he reportedly beat his fiancee with a 20-pound tuna. However, June Lee then admitted that she had made it up. An officer said it sounded fishy from the first.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Two-Buck Chuck, IntroducesTwo-Bit Shit!

After scoring a hit with their "Two-Buck Chuck" Wine, the same company now offers "Two-Bit Shit", the Light Beer with the Guy puking his guts out on the label.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Al Gore Hates Practical Joke

Former Vice President Al Gore not happy at all about a local group of republicans in Knoxville slipping a snow-making machine onto his roof and him opening front door to a three foot slide of snow.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

New Original Trek?

Many of the original cast of Star Trek trying to get around while off their walkers, enough to film one more remake. Tentative Title: "The Opening Of The Geeky Billfolds"

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Innocent Sportscaster Fired

Innocent sports commentator kicked off the air for saying "Now he has three balls on him", "Takes time out to don his protective gear" and "He appeared to come out of nowhere".

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Hasselhoff Gets Bad News

Some bad news for David Hasselhoff. His latest movie will not be shipped directly to video after all, but taken to the landfill and given a decent burial.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Foul Ball!

Japan's new robot baseball pitcher throws high and inside to brush back batter accidentally throws ball through his head.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Sell! Sell! Sell!

Couple leave Big Lots in a hurry after catching a glimpse of their stockbroker sitting at desk in the Big Lots outdoor patio section.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

College Kids Help

College kids on Spring Break lend a hand in Florida Keys, getting a great white beached whale back upstairs to his room after turning his ankle

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Republicans Getting Jiggy Wid It

Republicans, trying to improve their image among the nation's youth, decide to purchase for themselves one of those Atari game doodles.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Employees Suspicious

Company employees in Newberg, Kentucky beginning to get suspicious after company starts each work day with Mexican National Anthem.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

O.J. On Commercials Again?

O.J. or Orange Juice Simpson, who used to do all those orange juice commercials, asks if he could do a few more wearing his new orange outfits.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

NKorea Celebrates

Kim Jong Il leads North Korea in massive rally celebrating the successful missile launch that has satellite circling the ocean.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Israel Has Good Launch

Israel successfully tests system to shoot down any shithead Iranian wuss missiles.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Penn Joins Obama Adm.

Actor Kal Penn from "Harold And Kumar" joins the Obama administration to teach the President how to act sincere, tearful, the French snub and smart.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

General Motor's Hummer Production to Cease

Interim GM CEO Melvin Pushrod announced the end of the infamous Hummer SUV today. "We've simply run out of microphallic assholes to sell them to." stated Pushrod.

written by Jay T. Jennings, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Children ill after chlorine leak

About 40 people, mainly children, have been affected by a suspected chlorine leak at a Black Country swimming pool. We're sorry, that was a typo - we really meant URINE!

written by norma snockers, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Mayor In Jail

Carlisle Mayor who stole £40,000 to fund online gambling addiction is jailed. Request for having her laptop brought to her, denied.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

School Senior Ruins Chances

Senior at Burns High School in Utah blows chance of becoming Homecoming King after firing a few rounds at some cockroaches in the school cafeteria.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Joe The Citizen

Vice President Joe Biden in yesterday's interview requested that the press just call him "Da Veepster" in the future. No use using all that high falutin' horse hockey titles.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

What A Guy!

Before coming back to Washington President Obama persuades Israelis & Palestinians into using only pillow fights, water balloons and bold rude gesturing in future skirmishes.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Mums The Word

United States Intelligence Chief proposes building another top secret spy satellite but asks that word not be passed around. Remember "Loose Lips Might, Sink Spy Satellite!"

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Obama May Take Drastic Actions

The president's new science adviser said that global warming is so dire, the Obama administration is discussing drastic options to cool Earth's air, like placing giant fans at the North & South Poles.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Obama Jams Return Visit To U.S. Into Jam-Packed Trip

Obama returns to Washington after jam-packed trip, will probably give most of the jam to different food pantries.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Jobbers Shopping Themselves

Job seekers are investing in plastic surgery to make themselves more marketable, also face transplants. Rolled up socks and wads of tissue making a comeback for the ones who can't afford the surgery.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

US Space Tourist Lands Safely

A Russian Soyuz capsule carrying US space tourist Charles Simonyi and two other crewmembers has landed in Kazakhstan, or possibly the North Pole, Russian officials say.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Blair Condemns Pope From Leper Colony

Tony Blair has questioned the Pope's attitude towards homosexuality, arguing that the religious leader must start "rethinking" the issue, rewriting and editing the Bible a bit more.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

97% Of E-Mails Unwanted

More than 97% of e-mails sent over the net are unwanted, according to a Microsoft security report, including this one which was supposed to be funny. Next one is better. About those Somalia pirates.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Somali Pirates Eating Up The Seas

Somali pirates have hijacked a Danish ship after yesterday's bold assault on a U.S. Merchant ship carrying load of Starbucks coffee.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Cyberspies Could Disrupt Power Grids

Cyberspies have penetrated the U.S. electrical grid leaving behind software that could be used to disrupt our system as our satellites disrupt theirs, according to national-security officials.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Obama Still Learning

PAGLIA: Obama's painful missteps; Bowing to king of Saudi Arabia, pissing out of French hotel window, making farts with armpits to Queen.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Jacksons Not Happy With Obama

A congressional ethics board has launched an inquiry into U.S. Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. (D-Ill), related to President Obama's vacant Senate seat. "I'll cut off Obama's balls, yet" says Jesse Jackson Sr.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

GMC, Segway "Car" Combo

GMC is teaming with Segway, maker of the upright, self balancing scooters, to build a new type of two-wheeled "Seego" designed to move through congested urban streets & get flattened by a Indian Nano.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

French: Bugger The Bosses

Almost half of French people believe it is acceptable for workers facing layoffs to lock up their bosses, according to opinion poll published on Tuesday. "Have them cleaning toilets, throw away key!"

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Communities Printing Own Local Money

A small but growing number of cash-strapped American communities are printing their own money. U.S. Treasury says they can use the help as they can't keep up on their own.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Delinquencies Soar

Mortgage delinquencies soar in the U.S. as juveniles who took out loans on million dollar tree houses cannot keep up with payments, pants.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Financial Crisis Not Over Yet

United States' financial crisis 'Far From Over,'says Congressional Oversight Panel before they break and eat their cans of Beanie Weinies with saltines.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

U.S. Agree On Exchange Of Art, Missiles

U.S. officials flying to Cuba, not to visit prisoners at Guantanamo Bay but to meet with Castro brothers in order to ease the 50-year tensions between the two nations. Fidel: What's 50 years? Nothing!

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
Rating:

History is to be taught in new curriculum

History teachers in Britain are delighted because history is to be taught in the new curriculum. This means that at least their jobs are safe!

written by norma snockers, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Ticking and Tocking

The British Parliament faced with the fact that the British economy is getting worse by the week has voted to raise money by selling Big Ben.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Is It Dysfunctional Or Is It Memorex?

A recent New York poll shows that 75 percent of its residents say that their state government is dysfunctional. The other 25 percent say that it's merely F'ed up big time.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Nicolas Cage Sells His Bavarian Castle

Nicolas Cage has sold his 28-room Bavarian castle. The reason he gave was that the price of moat aligator food has tripled in price.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Weather Bureau Predicts Rain over Easter

Weather bureau predicts it will rain all over the UK during Easter. All of Britain is in shock. "This has never happened before!" said one by-stander, reaching for his brolly.

written by Bluebella, 08 April 2009
Rating:

MP in new porn expenses shock

The government faced further embarrasment today when it was revealed that Jacqui Smith's husband had also claimed expenses of £1.99 for a large box of tissues...

written by Piemaster, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Colin Pollack confused by fish name change

Mr Colin Pollack (37) of Grimsby said "This has got me totally confused. What am I supposed to do now, everyone will start calling me Pollack Colin. And some people will think I'm Polish.

written by Piemaster, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Space Vampires Invade ISS

North Korean spaceman make impromptu visit to international space station.

written by Leonardo Picasso, 08 April 2009
Rating:

Is He Still Hanging Around?

The remains of a German man who committed suicide in 1980 were found in a tree 40 feet above the ground where it had hung undisturbed for 29 years. Man who found it thought he heard wind chimes.

written by Bureau, 08 April 2009
« Mar 2009 April 2009 May 2009 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
52
2nd
63
3rd
57
4th
49
5th
48
6th
54
7th
62
8th
47
9th
47
10th
46
11th
31
12th
35
13th
31
14th
44
15th
45
16th
50
17th
43
18th
40
19th
19
20th
35
21st
40
22nd
57
23rd
54
24th
47
25th
55
26th
44
27th
56
28th
53
29th
38
30th
59
 

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