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Rating:

Prisoner found behind bars!

And on-the-run prisoner was found behind bars in Lancaster tonight. He was first found in the Elephant and Castle, and then the Rose and Crown, then in the Flying Dutchman public houses.

written by IN SEINE, 11 April 2009
Rating:

Men - only club dubbed up 'sexist'

A historic male-only club at St Andrews University has been dubbed 'sexist' by non-other than Edinburgh Women's Institute who are threatening to throw jars of jam and their headquarters.

written by IN SEINE, 11 April 2009
Rating:

Snow business like snow business

The Crown prosecution service is to pay a £250 reward for those workers who managed to turn on for work when London was under 10 inches of snow. These people are so brave!

written by IN SEINE, 11 April 2009
Rating:

Are they getting out of their depth?

Somali pirates have just seized the QE2 which is currently undergoing a $100 million refit in Dubai.

written by IN SEINE, 11 April 2009
Rating:

Crockett: Coming Help A Crock

Old diary of Davey Crockett found buried in San Antonio begins, "Dear Diary, all hopes of FEMA arriving in time for Santa Ana's final charge are just about gone."

written by Bureau, 11 April 2009
Rating:

Bush Ratings Still Low

Former President Bush disagrees with latest polls showing 23% job approval rating over his last four years. "Surely it wasn't that high", states Bush.

written by Bureau, 11 April 2009
Rating:

Poland's New Cycle Laws

Poland's Constitutional Court upheld a ruling this week that drunken cyclists should be treated like drunken motorists and face prison if caught. Next, seat belts and child seats.

written by Bureau, 11 April 2009
Rating:

Mistaken Identities

Woody Harrelson claims he mistook photographer at an airport for a zombie from his movie. Photographer says he mistook Harrelson for an actor.

written by Bureau, 11 April 2009
Rating:

Obama Appointees Agree With Republicans

Republicans in congress say they are not the only ones for lower taxes. Most of Obama's appointees agree with them, some not paying any.

written by Bureau, 11 April 2009
Rating:

Pirates All Over Seas

The U.S.-flagged Maersk Alabama, whose captain is being held by pirates on a lifeboat, arrived at the Port of Mombasa, Kenya, Saturday. Meanwhile the pirates have now captured three men in a tub.

written by Bureau, 11 April 2009
Rating:

Microsoft's Latest Window

Microsoft announces that it will soon be coming out with Windows 7. Apple announces they are currently developing Doggy Door 4.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 April 2009
Rating:

The Blonde Area Code

A blonde woman in Beverly Hills called 911 to get the number to call 911.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 April 2009
Rating:

Russia Launches An ICBM

Russia successfully launched an intercontinental ballistic missile. Russian news sources said that the missile landed in North Korea.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 April 2009
Rating:

The Latest Research Study On Obesity

A recent study has blamed obesity on the eating of food. In other news a scientist has reported that the North Pole has enough snow to build at least 100 snowmen.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 April 2009
Rating:

The Alabama (blank) Tide

The environmentally-friendly University of Alabama has announced that they are changing the name of their team from Crimson Tide to Green Tide.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 April 2009
Rating:

PETA makes big issue out of Pet Shop Boys

Animal welfare group, PETA has requested that the popular pop group, the Pet Shop Boys change their name to "The Rescue Shelter Boys" and that they sell The Big Issue.

written by IN SEINE, 11 April 2009
Rating:

The Walgreens Change

The Walgreens Drugstore chain in a move to show its support of the environment and the ecology will soon be changing its name to Walgreener.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 April 2009
Rating:

The Burger King Booty Dancers

The new Burger King commercial with sexy women dancing to a Sponge Bob Square Pants booty rap song has upset many parents. Meanwhile KFC is holding their breath over their new Titty Tenders.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 April 2009
Rating:

The Most Recent Poll

A recent poll shows that most statistics are in actuality numbers.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 April 2009
Rating:

Puerto Rico Turns Down Statehood

Puerto Rico once again votes down becoming the US 51st state after learning that, instead of a star on flag, they'd get an asterisk!

written by Bureau, 11 April 2009
Rating:

Looked Really Pale

Body of accident-prone employee at The Gap has closed casket service after being discovered acid-washed, sand-blasted.

written by Bureau, 11 April 2009
Rating:

Houston Concerned About Astronauts

Houston is a little concerned with astronauts and cosmonauts aboard the space station that have recently been discussing "Those babes from Saturn".

written by Bureau, 11 April 2009
Rating:

Migrants Double

Number of migrants caught trying to sneak into Britain on lorries DOUBLES in a year, cries new cross-eyed counter!

written by Bureau, 11 April 2009
Rating:

Teachers Break Law, Balls

Teachers prepare to boycott SATs exams as Schools Secretary Balls warns: 'You can't just break the law'. Obvious teacher's response: 'Balls To That!'

written by Bureau, 11 April 2009
Rating:

G20 Victim's Brother Died At Same Age

Brother of man who died during G20 conference died of a heart attack at the same age....after being beaten by police.

written by Bureau, 11 April 2009
Rating:

Batman On The Case

Police probe death riddle of widow on mixed ward. Batman comes forward to say he knows both the Riddler and Ward.

written by Bureau, 11 April 2009
Rating:

Living Trees Applaud

Fined £75, the man who pinned up a sign and 'harmed a living tree' says his son got three years at hard labor for building a tree house.

written by Bureau, 11 April 2009
Rating:

Sarah Brown Says No

Sarah Brown declines veal and foie gras at Nato summit banquet while husband eats double the amount, saying "It's dead now anyway."

written by Bureau, 11 April 2009
Rating:

Slush Money For Snow Business

Slush money: Civil servants get a £250 bonus just for 'struggling' into work in the snow. Guy who skied in an hour early gets more.

written by Bureau, 11 April 2009
Rating:

China Holding Surplus

China's central bank said Saturday that its foreign exchange reserves rose 16 percent year-on-year to $1.9537 trillion by the end of March. "We can print that in a day's time", say Bernanke.

written by Bureau, 11 April 2009
Rating:

Pirate Stand-Off Continues

US ships blocking help for pirates holding US captain have received a massage from the pirates, that a nuclear tugboat is also on the way as standoff continues.

written by Bureau, 11 April 2009
« Mar 2009 April 2009 May 2009 »
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1st
52
2nd
63
3rd
57
4th
49
5th
48
6th
54
7th
62
8th
47
9th
47
10th
46
11th
31
12th
35
13th
31
14th
44
15th
45
16th
50
17th
43
18th
40
19th
19
20th
35
21st
40
22nd
57
23rd
54
24th
47
25th
55
26th
44
27th
56
28th
53
29th
38
30th
59
 

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