Lance Armstrong comeback?
But does he have the balls for it?
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Priceless Jackson Pollock painting discovered in attic!
And yes, it's crap.
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Attempt at stealing a hearse
Llangollen, Wales: Two men have tried to steal a hearse as mourners gathered inside a church for a funeral.
Police report that "NO BODY WAS FOUND".
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The End of the World as We Know it?
Just in case the Big Bang happens tomorrow 10th September, many terrorists are claiming responsibility for it. These range from Al Qaeda, Kim Jong Il, George Bush, Vladimir Putin and Robert Mugabe.
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Bin Laden turns to poetry
Osama Bin Laden has taken up poetry to relieve stress. Writing in 'Terror Monthly, originally set up for part-time anarchists, he says. "It seems I've always been a poet but I didn't ... realise"
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Arts Piece
A yellow egg cup with a crack in it, called 'The Idiot who buys this will put my kids through college' has sold at auction for £1.5 million.
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Leonard Cohen Sings!
Well kind of. Ok, not really.
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Smooth Grooves
Stevie Wonder admits he mistook a long braille letter from Heather Mills for a roll of coarse grade sandpaper although he is said to be delighted with the new floor.
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Vice Presidential Debate
It's hurricane season. And it seems that the VP debate between "Iron" Joe Biden vs. Sarah "Dog Sled" Palin could turn Biden into a category 4 and Palin into just a little squall.
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Signs of The Times
Exxon-Mobil makes Frank and Jesse James seem like cub scouts.
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Spielberg to re-make 'Showgirls'
Hollywood, CA- Steven Spielberg has purchased the rights to 'Showgirls' and expects to remake it in 2009. Spielberg said:
"Forget all that Jewish holocaust crap- strippers is where it's at!"
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Three-Year-Old Identifies Dad
A Tennessee man is accused of leaving his small son behind while running from police after an auto accident. However, six hours later, the 3-year-old easily pointed out his dad in a police line-up.
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written by
Bureau, 09 September 2008
Merkin season starts today!
From today on you can legally hunt Merkin's in their natural habitat. Some confused animal rights protesters are planning on appealing to Laura Bush for help in stopping this barbaric practice.
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U.S. Bailouts
The U.S. Government is spending $200 billion dollars to bail out Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac. Meanwhile, O.J. Simpson is asking for only $100,000.
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written by
Bureau, 09 September 2008
Consumer Confidence Low
Consumer confidence fell to an all-time low this morning as many seen wading around city pools picking up pennies.
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written by
Bureau, 09 September 2008
All-Body Scan
An all-body scan has revealed that a Sheffield man is completely healthy, but poorly hung.
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written by
Bureau, 09 September 2008
Latest From Texas Mormon Compound
Two of the wives from the Texas Mormon compound, when asked about their leader, told reporters this morning that "there's a little bit of our holy prophet leader in each and every one of us."
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written by
Bureau, 09 September 2008
Palin asked, what is good about Obama?
Well, he is hung like a horse. When asked how she knew, Palin added they all are and they can sing.
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