Illegal crossing
A man drove across a state line with a dog sitting in a pan of soda water. He told the Cop that his dog was under treatment. He said, "You can't bring in a dog like that. This is a catatonic state."
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Health & Safety Issue
A group of Welsh Coal Miners who wear illuminated helmets say it makes them feel light-headed, it was reported today.
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Ex Gambler reveals all
A patient in a psychiatric hospital told us how he ended up there. He said: "I used to be a heavy gambler but now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind.
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Stash found in Telford
A bottle of vinegar, two tins of mustard and a jar of mayonaisse were found hidden in Marks & Spencer's, Telford Shopping Mall.
They were found in the Dressing Room, police said today.
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McCain Confesses...
John McCain has more people living in condos he owns than Sarah Palin had in her entire town when she was mayor.
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Egypt and UK reach settlement
After years of demanding the return of the Rosetta Stone, Egypt have agreed to take Sharon Stone instead. Ms Stone, was recently transferred from Hollywood Museum to the British Museum for $20,000.
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Chelsea flower show through to finals
The Chelsea flower show has made it to the European finals where they will meet the Real Madrid flower show in a thrilling showdown.
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Freedom Fries to be renamed 'McCain Fries'
After going from 'French Fries' to 'Freedom Fries', John McCain has announced that' should he become President, the product will be known as 'McCain Fries'. He denies any sponsorship links.
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Irishman Attempts to Circumnavigate the Globe
An Irishman drowned whilst attempting to walk around the world!
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Highlight from Sarah Palin's speech
Hey Hillary, ha ha, eat your heart out.
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