John Edward's Wife Says Trust Is Biggest Hurdle in Relationship
Next biggest hurdles to leap over are carseat, stroller, and piles of toys in living room.
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Carter In Plains, Georgia
Former president, Jimmy Carter, at his home in Plains, Georgia, told a reporter this morning that John McCain was much too old and forgetful to be the Head of the Peanut Patch. Billy's dead isn't he?
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written by
Bureau, 18 September 2008
Dale Evans Diary
Old diary of Dale Evans has been discovered in Davis, Oklahoma with March 12, 1952 entry: "Roy still much too quick on Trigger".
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written by
Bureau, 18 September 2008
Streisand Chews Out Waitress
Barbra Streisand has been accused of berating a waitress Tuesday night at her fundraiser, after the young lady dropped and broke a $28,500 plate.
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written by
Bureau, 18 September 2008
Iron Man Angry
Iron Man vows to find out who put the "Kick My Iron Ass Hard" refrigerator magnet on his backside.
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written by
Bureau, 18 September 2008
Hoover Salesman
Hoover salesman's white-towel demonstration shows family how many millions of brain cells he sucked up out of the TV room carpet.
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written by
Bureau, 18 September 2008
AIG Goes Tits Up
Government auditors have concluded that AIG's financial structure was built on sand. The company only insured women with silicon breast implants.
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The Latest Reality Show
Coming to The Fox Network next month: The latest reality show, The Malibu Beach Drugstore starring The O'Neal Family, Ryan, Tatum, Griffin, Redmond, and Shaq.
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Hubby Caught At Bar
A Liverpool husband was caught red-handed last night by his wife who had secretly followed him. David Saunders told his wife, Ethel, that he had no idea that "The Ball-Bearing Waitress" was a gay bar.
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written by
Bureau, 18 September 2008
Remarkable Memory
A bartender in Atlanta has been amazing customers for years by remembering the names of over 500 customers. "I never forget a shitface", stated Joe Jackson.
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written by
Bureau, 18 September 2008
Joint Announcement
Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan wish to remind everyone "out there" that next week is National Dingbat Awareness Week.
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written by
Bureau, 18 September 2008
People Injured, Cars Crushed
A stampede of customers at a New Jersey car dealership has injured 30 people, 20 of them clowns, and crushed over 50 just-arrived super-fuel efficient, 2010 Chinese Mini Tits.
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written by
Bureau, 18 September 2008
MGM/UA answer questions about Quantum of Solace title for new James Bond Movie
"Scott Bakula and Dean Stockwell will not be in the film and Dr. Sam Beckett will not Leap into any of the characters."
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Republican National Committee discovers way to deal with Troopergate problem
Vice President Dick Cheney to take all involved hunting.
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Democrats put lipstick on a pig at a political rally
Former President Clintont upset because "they shouldn't be treating Monica Lewinsky like that!"
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Senator and Vice Presidential Candidate Joe Biden Says that Paying Higher Taxes is Patriotic
"And I want to make the middle class the most patriotic people in this country!"
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McCain Predicts GOP Victory in November
Obama questions if McCain can even predict his next bowel movement.
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Argue With Them!
Barack Obama told supporters yesterday to argue and get in their face. In response, Vice President Cheney told McCain supporters to argue and shoot them in the face!
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written by
Bureau, 18 September 2008
Mission impossible?
Aging Super Spy Ethan Hunt has asked for easier Missions in the future. His next one is to be called Mission Be Careful..
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"More or less"
"More or less" has to, more or less, be the, more or less, most, more or less hackneyed, more or less trite expression, more or less used more or less always, more or less.
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Uganda seeking miniskirt ban
The integrity minister for Uganda says miniskirts should be banned because they distract drivers and cause accidents. However, this is not a problem as there are only 5 vehicles in the whole country
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Hacker Gets Into the Email Account of Duncan Whitehead
Finding it very boring, he moves on to the email account of Sarah Palin.
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New York Stock Exchange Officials Are in a Panic
They can't find anyone willing to ring the opening NYSE bell.
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Some Good news from the American economy
Mattress manufactures stock rises as Banks in America collapse
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Stripper Can't Wait to Buy a T-Mobile gPhone
"Just what I need for my g-string," she says.
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