Airline name change
In today's uncertain economic climate, budget airline operators Easyjet have decided to rename themselves 'Uneasyjet'.
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Lehman Employee Admits 70% of Workers "Liberal Democrats"!
Citing Sharia Courts, millions of disenfranchised American Tax Payers and Home Owners, threatened with foreclosure, chanted, "TOO BAD" 3 times before firing them after unbiased Muslim Arbitration.
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written by
Morse, 15 September 2008
Big Stink In Manchester
In Manchester yesterday, a visitor to the Pleasant Hill Nursing Facility reported that the Home's surprise evacuation drill "stunk to high heaven!"
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written by
Bureau, 15 September 2008
Delia at it again
Delia Smith in trouble with Norwich City board after publishing new cookbook for winos called 'Yahayy! Nourish! Zzzz'
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More Disney World Character Problems
Just when Disney World gets over the arrest last year of Goofy on child pornography charges, it was reported this morning that both Mickey and Minnie have been placed under mouse arrest.
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written by
Bureau, 15 September 2008
Neanderthal News
Discovery: Neanderthals used small sticks to clean teeth, rear ends, place under Neanderthal woman's nose to bring her back to consciousness after clubbing.
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written by
Bureau, 15 September 2008
Obama Says Sharia Court to Replace Supreme Court Soon
Hussein Obama pledged to dissolve the Supreme Court as soon as he is elected. Citing the Muslim Tribunal now ruling Britain, Obama chanted "I HATE YOU" 3 times as he divorced himself from Hillary
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written by
Morse, 15 September 2008
31,374 Delinquent Taxpayers in Postal Service to IRS:Checks in the Mail!
The IRS said in order to cover the Financial Crisis caused by Postal workers it was raising rates to $5.50 for a letter. Rep Rangle proposes amnesty bill for "all" govt. employees who now owe $3.5m.
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written by
Morse, 15 September 2008
Latest On Hadron Collider
A large Hadron Collider has supposedly solved the mystery of the universe. "It most likely started with a bang and will end with a whimper", stated Professor T.S. Idiot.
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written by
Bureau, 15 September 2008
Boeing to Chavez: Here, Try One of Our 737's!
Boeing said they think they improved a problem in the 737 after only two fatal Russian crashes in a month. "Free Fly" program is marketing ploy offered to Narco Terrorists and appears to be working.
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written by
Morse, 15 September 2008
Tongues Question
When asked about her personal belief in "speaking in strange tongues" yesterday, Sarah Palin answered, "What's so new about that? Hasn't President Bush been doing that for eight years?"
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written by
Bureau, 15 September 2008
Bookstore Robbery
A Barnes & Noble bookstore in Destin, Florida reports the theft of over 300 Self-Help books Sunday night. "Apparently
they just broke in and helped themselves", stated store owner, Jay Emery."
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written by
Bureau, 15 September 2008
Bold Protestor
After watching film of lone Chinese protester in Tiananmen Square, lone American consumer boldly stands in front of long line of Wal-Mart trucks in Benton, Arkansas.
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written by
Bureau, 15 September 2008
New Discovery
Archeologists in Egypt have discovered a four-thousand-year-old matzo ball in an ancient food pyramid.
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written by
Bureau, 15 September 2008
Palin The Huntress
Sarah Palin: I could shoot and field dress Joe Biden in three minutes, including the removal of all those silly hair plugs.
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written by
Bureau, 15 September 2008
U.S. Stock Market Plumments...
...after pictures surface of Sarah Palin clubbing baby seals.
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Daily Mail bases headines on spoof news story
Tabloid newspaper "Daily Mail" made an embarrassing mistake when they based a cover story on facts presented in a spoof news article. Nevertheless, it's the most accurate story they've run this year.
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written by
Sha, 15 September 2008
Political Button Loses Favor
"I Like Ike" buttons from the 1952 presidential campaign decline in value.
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Helpmates
A new study of women who have gone out and purchased Viagra for their mates usually insist that they're still in love with the big old softies.
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written by
Bureau, 15 September 2008
Maytag's Lonely Repairman
Maytag has announced that their lonely repairman Jesse White, dead since 1997, is still waiting for someone to come and bury him.
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written by
Bureau, 15 September 2008
Real Bummer
A suicide bummer on Haight Street in San Francisco takes out half a dozen old hippies and flower grannies with him.
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written by
Bureau, 15 September 2008
Footprint Fines
Abominable Snowmen, Sasquatch and Yeti join forces to object to heavy fines over carbon bigfoot prints.
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written by
Bureau, 15 September 2008
McCain Courts Environmentalists
John McCain, more in agreement with environmentalists over the endangered polar bear than Bush, told an audience yesterday "My old gang and I never thought the wooley mammoth would disappear either."
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written by
Bureau, 15 September 2008
