Turnip Truck Tragedy
In Kentucky, five people were killed and six more were sent to local hospitals when a turnip truck overturned while trying to miss a young man who had just fallen off another
turnip truck.
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written by
Bureau, 13 September 2008
Hannibal's Hideaway
One of Hannibal the Cannibal's secret hideaways has been discovered in the basement of a building located behind the
Human Resource building.
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written by
Bureau, 13 September 2008
McCain Takes Time Off
John McCain is taking time out of his busy campaign schedule this week to visit his old homeplace at the Jamestown Settlement.
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written by
Bureau, 13 September 2008
Congress In Agreement For A Change
The United States Congress announced Friday that they now have complete bi-partison support over loosening of moral-bankruptcy laws.
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written by
Bureau, 13 September 2008
Bill Clinton Scores Again
Former president Bill Clinton hit "home run" number 5493, Thursday night, still 3971 behind all-time great, George Brett.
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written by
Bureau, 13 September 2008
New "Bitch Pink" Lipstick Color Inspired by Sarah Palin
The Maybelline makeup company announced the launch of a new lipstick color to honor Gov. Sarah Palin. The new color, which is called "Bitch Pink," is set to hit store shelves next week.
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Palin Declares War on Mother Nature
Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin today announced that she has declared all out war on mother nature in response to Hurricane Ike.
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The Lower 48
Sarah Palin (alias "Saracuda") loves to refer to the rest of the United States as "The Lower 48." The way she's going, by election day she may be referring to "The Lower 48" as "The Colonies!"
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Kin of Pablo Escobar Praise Chavez, Show Symbolic Support!
The ashes of gun downed Drug Lord Pablo Escobar were dropped over Caracas today by family members saying,"While Pablo is gone, his entrepreneurial Spirit will live on!" DEA says"Don't bet on it!"
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written by
Morse, 13 September 2008
Actor's Donations
A well-known actor recently made a sizable contribution to the Home for Unwed Mothers.
But he says next time he intends to give money.
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Gitmo Update
Interrogators say constant "Who's on first" routine bringing much better results at Gitmo than waterboarding.
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written by
Bureau, 13 September 2008
McCain Accuses Obama
John McCain accuses Barack Obama of having radical ties! Also, radical tee-shirts, radical sports coat.
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written by
Bureau, 13 September 2008
DNA Testing
New DNA testing used in Texas Mormon compound to prove which children belonged to whom to be used in West Virginia, Eastern Kentucky to determine if anyone there unrelated.
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written by
Bureau, 13 September 2008
He Monopolized TV For 30 Years
Smiling dead husband in coffin doesn't realize his widow has secretly shoved television remote up his ass.
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written by
Bureau, 13 September 2008
Drug Charges
70-Plus Florida baseball league star accused of visiting backroom opium dens!
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written by
Bureau, 13 September 2008
Mexican Drug Cartel Executes 24 Rivals...Chavez Applauds Action!
Venezuelan President stands up for fellow Narco Terrorists saying it was" an act of National Self Determination to protect its GNP". He also announced the expulsion of Spoof News Bureau in Caracas!
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written by
Morse, 13 September 2008
33 Year Old Woman Steals Daughters Identity to Enroll in High School
The Democrats reacted to Wisconsin's Wendy Brown,who used her 15 year old child's identity to get a HS degree and be a cheerleader. A Spokesman said she would lose her Super Delegate status!
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written by
Morse, 13 September 2008
Historical Evdence uncovered
Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire. Thus we'll never know for whom the Tells Bowled.
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Nancy Pelosi Confesses: I Actually wanted to be a Governor!
The political spokesman for Dole Pineapple Co. confessed she had higher aspirations before becoming speaker of the house. " it was just easier to spend money than save it..that's me, warts and all!"
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written by
Morse, 13 September 2008
Worst Experience On Set
Johnny Depp, 45, says that the worst experience he had whilst filming was in Tim Burton's 'Edward Scissorhands', where he tried to itch his crack while he still had his scissorhands on.
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Venezuela Vacation Destination of Choice for Hollywood Stars !
Rumors of "Mountains of Snow" in Venezuela caused a stampede amongst the Hollywood elite checking out of rehab centers."I was born to be a snow bunny," Sniffed Lindsey Lohan, "and I love to ski!"
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written by
Morse, 13 September 2008
US to Chavez: Farc You Amigo!
Adios! Nuff said!
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written by
Morse, 13 September 2008
Manuel Noreaga to Hugo Chavez: "Hombre! You're Fucked Now!"
The imprisoned former Coke King of Panama offered some advice to the Narco-Terrorist Dictator: Bend over and kiss your ass goodbye, cause we'll be roomies soon..never bring a knife to a gun fight!
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written by
Morse, 13 September 2008
