Literacy
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy
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Turkish Delight?
Russia invades Turkey from behind, with help of Greece!
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Second Rock Slide
A second rock slide in as many days reported in Yosemite National Park by Park Ranger Sam who added, "Great Jumpin' Horny Toads" and fired a few shots into the air.
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written by
Bureau, 08 October 2008
Few Debate Surprises
Few surprises at last night's second presidential debate in Nashville, Tennessee. Mostly Obama's singing an old Charlie Pride number and McCain's clogging.
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written by
Bureau, 08 October 2008
Worldly World Banks
Global bank institutes have cut key rates. House keys are now $1.50 down from $1.75, and car keys are now $2.00 down from $2.25.
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See Bambi Run, Run Bambi Run
A study on bullet fragmentation shows when a deer is shot lead from the bullet spreads throughout the meat. One way to avoid this lead problem is instead of shooting the deer, poison it.
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Biden Labels Dem Economic Plan "Obamination"!
Speaking at a Scout convention, he was corrected by an Eagle Scout who had not cheated to earn his badges, explaining the word was "Abomination". Stunned, he mumbled "Whatever" and was led away.
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written by
Morse, 08 October 2008
Rapper On Cover Of Time Magazine Again
Popular Rapper, Pete-Repeat-Pete, admits that he cannot sing. "I just repeat every other word", stated Pete to Time Magazine which featured him on their cover for the second time.
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written by
Bureau, 08 October 2008
Stalag 2008
Tom Brokaw who moderated the McCain-Obama debate says he is so mad that both men ignored his 'Debate Rules' that he will not be voting for either one, but will instead write in Wolf Blitzer's name.
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Poll From Swing States
A new Gallup Poll shows that most, if not all, "swing states" are giving Republican VP Candidate Sarah Palin a good lookover.
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written by
Bureau, 08 October 2008
Russian Military Build-Up A Good Thing?
President Bush stated yesterday that the recent Russian military build-up come actually be a good thing. "It'll be their turn again in Afghanistan soon", noted the President.
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written by
Bureau, 08 October 2008
New Calif. Law Passed
A new law was passed yesterday in California that Wendys, McDonalds and other fast food restaurants had to post a notice stating how many heart attacks had occurred on the premises.
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written by
Bureau, 08 October 2008
Which One?...'That One'
Sen. McCain was asked why during the debate he referred to Sen. Obama as 'That one.' He replied, "The answer is really very simple...because I could not remember 'That one's' name.
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The Afghanistan Express Is Now Leaving
US Defense Secretary Gates urges European leaders to send troops to Afghanistan instead of Iraq. Poland replies, "Send us gas money." England says, "OK mate." France whispers, "We have no troops."
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NYC Disaster Area
Mayor Bloomberg of New York City asks President Bush to declare Wall Street a national disaster area. "Courage", says the President, "FEMA's on the way."
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written by
Bureau, 08 October 2008
Bears Adjusting
Polar bears seem to be adjusting to the warmer climate up north. "We've been freezing our asses off up here for centuries", stated one Mama Bear.
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written by
Bureau, 08 October 2008
Craig, Frank Make Guest Appearance
Senator Larry Craig and Representative Barney Frank make a guest appearance, doing a little toe-tapping number, on "Dancing With The Stars".
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written by
Bureau, 08 October 2008
Visitors Feeling Pinch
In Paris, the high cost of gasoline is causing French motorists plus many of the female tourists visiting there, to feel the pinch.
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written by
Bureau, 08 October 2008
Malls Taking Over
Forbes Magazine reports that the nation's Gay Malls are putting old-fashioned Pop & Pop Stores out of business.
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written by
Bureau, 08 October 2008
Bush Third Term
The United States Supreme Court has ruled that in an emergency like the present international monetary crisis, President Bush can serve a third term. Nation instantly in total collapse.
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written by
Bureau, 08 October 2008
Auto Advice
in the latest issue of Car & Driver, Kenneth L. Embry of Bear Wallow, Kentucky recommends rotating the blocks under you car every six months.
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written by
Bureau, 08 October 2008
Not another new party!
Fed up with the current, 2-party system, a new politcal party is being formed; NAME:The Search Party MOTTO:... Looking for members.
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Dog Who Ate Homework Given Detention
Rio, a rambunctious Shih Tzu owned by the family of Timmy Wilkins of Cedar Brook, NJ was successfully blamed for the youngster's missing weekend writing assignment. Rio began her sentence yesterday.
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Woody Allen: 'It would be disgrace and humiliation if Obama does not win'...
…the heart of every 17-year-old girl in the country, of which, as everybody knows, I have some expertise-if not as much success as I'd like...oy
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Obama 'honoured' by Mugabe offer
Barak Obama's office announced today that he would be honoured to take over a couple of farms in Zimbabwe should his election campaign fail...in response to Mugabe offer.
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French Fury
The French government were reported to be 'not bothered' about what anybody thinks outside of France. 'We don't have time for this nonsense,' a French spokesperson said.
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Blame The French
When asked who was to blame for the global financial crisis, Brit would-be PM David Cameron slated the French for being too sensible, too laid back, too patriotic, and too into doing their own thing.
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Tree Man
Following successful surgery, Tree Man says he plans to branch out. Financiers remain skeptical...
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For Sale: One Cold Country
Iceland is on the brink of going bankrupt. Cindy McCain tells John that she wants to buy it. John says no, that he'll just make it the 51st state. Sarah Palin replies, "Tell 'em to take a number!"
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And The Winner Is...
Esquire Magazine has just named Halle Berry, 'The Sexiest Woman Alive.' Sarah Palin replies that for her, it was just an honor to have been nominated in the same catergory as Ms. Berry.
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