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Rating:

Russian Stock Market Tanks, Causes Run on Bidets!

Kohler Corp.says it can't keep up with Russian demand for their top of the line bidets. Local plumber Boris Dumpinsky says: Da! wash potatoes, crush, make vodka, tastes like piss, forget about Putin!

written by Morse, 05 October 2008
Rating:

Is it McCain or McSame?

Republican Karl Rove says that if the election were held today that Barack Obama would win...McCain desperately says, "My friends let me remind you, I was a POW for five and a half years!"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 October 2008
Rating:

Jamie Oliver reveals new Northern Delicacy

Jamie Oliver, the new minister of food has said that "thickos" is a Northern dish similar to black pudding and not people from Rotherham.

written by IN SEINE, 05 October 2008
Rating:

The Busy, Busy Russians

Russian troops are reportedly dismantling posts in Georgia. Russian spokesman says next they will concentrate on dismantling poles in Alabama.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 October 2008
Rating:

Palin urges U.S. Evangelicals to Join The Taliban...

...along with Israel's Ultra-Orthodox "Modesty Squads" in the persecution of women. Vows to clean up the world "one religion at a time".

written by Jill The Shill, 05 October 2008
Rating:

Homeland Security Warning

Homeland Security has warned Americans this morning to put that thing away before somebody gets an eye put out.

written by Bureau, 05 October 2008
Rating:

Bank Takeover

As a result of the current bad economy, the First Third Bank has bought out two-thirds of the Third First Banks on First and Third Street.

written by Bureau, 05 October 2008
Rating:

Mr. Moose Denies Involvement

Mr. Moose of the old Captain Kangeroo Clubhouse denies dropping all those ping-pong balls on VP Candidate Joe Biden Thursday night, although Moose was seen later at a nightclub with Palin.

written by Bureau, 05 October 2008
Rating:

Obese Protest

Dozens of older obese people have showed up stark naked in downtown Montgomery, Alabama to protest the high cost of oversized underwear. Although no one was injured, several policemen got the heaves.

written by Bureau, 05 October 2008
Rating:

Crossville Runners

Apparently, for no reason at all, thousands have fled Crossville, Tennessee. "I just saw some others doing it and didn't want to get caught by whatever was chasing them", stated one puffing runner.

written by Bureau, 05 October 2008
Rating:

Fugitive Finally Found

The oldest gorilla at the San Diego Zoo, which died of a heart attack Saturday, has turned out to be a disguised fugitive "Weatherman" Marc Rudd, from the 1960s.

written by Bureau, 05 October 2008
Rating:

A.A. To Charge More

American Airlines, down 10% in number of passengers, has decided to charge $25 extra for every Old Bag that comes aboard.

written by Bureau, 05 October 2008
Rating:

Bush Supporting McCain/Palin Ticket

President Bush says he hopes the McCain/Palin ticket wins in November because an early withdrawal from Iraq would be prove to be claustrophobic!

written by Bureau, 05 October 2008
Rating:

Americans Planning Ahead

Report: Lots of Americans are stocking up between now and December 31st for planned 2009 New Year's weight resolutions.

written by Bureau, 05 October 2008
Rating:

Nominee's Learning Spanish Before Trip

Both democrat presidential candidate, Barack Obama and republican VP nominee, Sarah Palin have began taking classes to learn Spanish before heading out to Brazil.

written by Bureau, 05 October 2008
Rating:

Next Debate Scheduled

After the Presidential debates and VP debate last Thursday, the next debate will be between the Rev. Jeremiah Wright and a snake-handling preacher from east Tennessee.

written by Bureau, 05 October 2008
Rating:

More Home Loan Failures

Report: Nearly one out of four people who defaulted on their million dollar home loans had listed "food stamps" as part of their monthly income.

written by Bureau, 05 October 2008
Rating:

That's a Lot of Pumpkin Pies!

Jake Van Kooten's 1,500 lb. pumpkin was named the largest in California. He won $9,000 and was asked what he planned on doing with the cash, he replied, "I'm gonna get my aching back fixed!"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 October 2008
Rating:

The Cher & Madonna Tour

Cher and Madonna will be teaming up for a concert tour. The tour is being hailed as 'The Tattoos, Tummy Tucks, Botox, & Cellulite Tour.'

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 October 2008
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