Italian couple not allowed to name child after day of week
A couple in Italy cannot call their child Friday because of its association with Robinson Crusoe. They changed it to Monday but it carries association with Boomtown Rats song: 'I Don't Like Mondays'.
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JCB to employ midgets
In a bid to downsize its workforce, digger manufacturers JCB, have decided to employ midgets for shorter working hours.
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Police chiefs: Economy forcing job, budget cuts
Police chiefs warned that the economy is forcing job and budget cuts. Also, U.S. criminals expect a 35% employment jump in 2009, resulting in job fairs and skill workshops in prisons nationwide.
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Easy Mac, Easy
Biden says that McCain's quick temper is out of control. McCain screamed, "Joe's wrong, damnit! I'm not out of control, damnit! I knew Abraham Lincoln and Joe Biden is no Abraham Lincoln, damnit!"
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Sticks & Stones 'Big Mac & Bones'
McCain said Obama will 'say anything' to get elected. Obama replied, "That's not so, because basically and fundamentally, I will not only 'say anything,' I will also 'do anything' to get elected."
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Silk and Lace Goes So Good With Imported Cardboard
McCain said the $150,000 in clothes the GOP bought for Palin will be donated to charity. Well how nice...so somewhere there will be a homeless woman living in a cardboard box wearing a $35,000 dress.
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Fair & Balanced? Not Even Close
Bill O'Reilly of the Fox Channel's 'O'Reilly Factor' has just had his contract extended. He'll now make $10 million a year...which will come out to about $38,000 per each televised tantrum fit.
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Blood Pressure Up
Report: Americans with high blood pressure rose by 50% during the past three weeks, many peaking just after the daily closings on Wall Street.
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written by
Bureau, 23 October 2008
Warlocks Mourn
Many are in mourning, historians and warlocks alike, after a clumsy, extremely obese American tourist wipes out Stonehenge.
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written by
Bureau, 23 October 2008
Brain Still The Biggest Sex Organ
FDA report: Tests prove that 50% of imported Viagra, Levitra and Cialis is fake. However, the report also states that, in most cases, they still work somehow.
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written by
Bureau, 23 October 2008
Bush Attacks
President Bush has announced that he will fight senior pharmaceutical prices during his last days as president.
"First we need to see if Senyore Pharmaceutical is here illegally", stated Mr. Bush.
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written by
Bureau, 23 October 2008
Abu Dhabi Buys Another One
The NY Times report that many people there remain upset over Abu Dhabi purchasing the Chrysler Building, although cheering the news that Abu Dhabi just became the 207th owners of the Brooklyn Bridge.
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written by
Bureau, 23 October 2008
Palin & Biden Both On The Same Page
NEWSFLASH: Sarah Palin and Joe Biden both agree on one thing. The 'Red States' are pretty much Republican, and the 'Blue States' are pretty much Democrat.
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Quick Whiz
While campaigning in Florida yesterday, presidential candidate Barack Obama raised 50 million dollars while taking a quick whiz in a Tampa restaurant bathroom.
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written by
Bureau, 23 October 2008
Can't Stand Upright
A new study reveals that while using the internet is good for your mind, your ass could develop to the size that you are no longer able to carry it around with you and expect to stay upright.
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written by
Bureau, 23 October 2008
Would You Like Your Weapon in Paper or Plastic?
A new drugstore in Virginia will not sell candy, sodas, or birth control items...how about guns? You'll find them in aisle 7 next to the swords.
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Free Pizza: But We Don't Deliver
A Pizzeria is offering free pizza for anyone bringing in a McCain sign. Not to be outdone another pizzeria will take Obama signs in exchange for a free pizza, a 3 liter soda, cheese sticks, and $200.
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Wasted Years?
Who says your college years are wasted? Sure, I got wasted a few times but I learned how certain chemicals react to the human brain. Seriously, those were probably the best years of my life- R. Paul
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written by
Bureau, 23 October 2008
That's why mums' buy cheap piss at Iceland.
Kerry Katona speaks about her life of sobriety, 'hic hic hic slurrr slurrr hic hic slurrr'.
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Haider comes out of the coffin
In pink tights and lace
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Palin on the Job of V.P
Palin says, "Vice President is a great job, because you get to rule the known Universe and get all kinds of people fired"
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Gov. Palin's Youngest State Cabinet Members
Gov. Palin says daughters performed official business on taxpayer paid trips. Bristol 17, co-piloted the plane, Willow 14, was in charge of security, and Piper 7, was the official hair stylist.
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