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England does its bit for Obama campaign

Following the American trend of having dog collars with the words 'BARK FOR BARAK', English 'doggers' (folks who have sex in public) are going to wear wrist bands and condoms saying 'BONK FOR BARAK'.

written by IN SEINE, 19 October 2008
Rating:

Barack Obama Wins at Shangai

Barak Obama has won the Chinese Formula One Grand Prix in Shangai... oh shit! Who writes these notes?

written by IN SEINE, 19 October 2008
Rating:

Who Gives A Fart?

Friro Lay now has reached an agreement with Arena Football team owners to change the name of their championship game to the "The Bean-Dip Bowl".

written by Bureau, 19 October 2008
Rating:

Gore Movie To Become Opera

Al Gore's Academy Award winning movie, "An Inconvient Truth" about global warming is now to become a heart-rending opera known as "The Barber of Reykjavik"

written by Bureau, 19 October 2008
Rating:

Bush Visits Faked

The National Enquirer, the first to report the Edwards affair, now reveals that all of the George Bush visits to Iraq were staged by VP Cheney and a few Army Generals, on a movie set in Utah.

written by Bureau, 19 October 2008
Rating:

Senator Craig's Footsie

The Hollywood Gazzette reports that Senator Larry Craig will be making a guest appearance in the new Steve Martin film, "Happy Feet".

written by Bureau, 19 October 2008
Rating:

Witch Crashes at Heathrow

A 98 year-old Witch, Zelda Haggard, lost control of her broom over London's busy Heathrow airport today. "A 737 inbound from Toulouse just cut me up and I flew off the handle" she cackled.

written by IN SEINE, 19 October 2008
Rating:

Invisible Man charged with theft

The Invisible Man, facing a charge of theft of invisibe ink from Staples has had the case dropped through insufficient evidence. CCTV cameras could show no evidence of the alleged crime taking place.

written by IN SEINE, 19 October 2008
Rating:

"Joe the Plumber" on Way to Space Station vows to "Fix that Shit!"

Receiving his first Govt. job, now famous plumber said he would take care of the problem with a Kohler "Eliminator" toilet, $18.99M less then earmarked by DEM Barney Frank for 2nd Russian Crapper

written by Morse, 19 October 2008
Rating:

GOP has recent new explosive tape of Obama and Ayres!

"Story to break any second. GOP secretly bugged 'Ayers' office. Obama told Ayer's he does NOT want "Hail to the Chief" to be played at his inauguration. He wants the theme from 'SHAFT' played"!

written by Leslie Mintz , 19 October 2008
Rating:

Pssst, Mister, You Wanna Buy A...

Bush thinking up of ways to stimulate the economy and bring in more money is seriously thinking of selling Alaska back to Russia. He stated, "Hell, I'm figurin' I could get at least a couple of mil."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 October 2008
Rating:

Color By Numbers...Poll Numbers

When told that Barack Obama drew a crowd of 100,000 in St. Louis, Sarah Palin replied, "Good golly, he must have used one big as heck easel...not to mention gallons and gallons of paint."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 October 2008
Rating:

And Now Here's Jay...

NBC plans to cut $500 million in spending for 2009. So they have two choices. They can either fire 10,000 employees (at $50,000 each), or else just fire one employee...Jay Leno.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 October 2008
Rating:

Plumber-Gate Has Joe AKA Sam in the Sink

"Had I known as a paid operative, that I would be treated like a criminal. and have my personal finances routed through, I never would have asked the damn question"!

written by Leslie Mintz , 19 October 2008
Rating:

"Quoted" Sara Palin to SNL cast member:

"Ya know Tina, you New Yorkers are real sharp. Had I known the difference between stumping and "Schumptfing" well, I would have stayed totally in New York to build up our base".

written by Leslie Mintz , 19 October 2008
Rating:

Madonna divorces Guy: wants to marry Jacko

Madonna has announced that following her divorce to Monsieur Richie, she wants to marry Wacko Jacko; yes Michael Jackson. There has been no reply from Jackson who is divorcing his pet monkey Bubbles.

written by whatinthe world, 19 October 2008
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