Order by:
Rating:

Alaska - The Land of The Mortified Moose

Joe Biden told a crowd of supporters, "Ladies and gentlemen I am tremendously thrilled to announce that Sarah Palin's 15 minutes of fame are just-about-up!"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Hey, Are We 100% Sure That Sarah P. Is A 'Real' Girl?

Let's see...McCain and Obama do not own any guns. Palin owns close to 1,000! McCain suggested it's because Sarah Louise just happens to have one tremendously dominant weaponry gene.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 October 2008
Rating:

But You Can't See Russia From New Hampshire

Sarah P. tells a crowd that Alaska and New Hampshire are a lot alike. "Both of our state names have three 'A's,' both have snow, and let me see what else? Oh yes both hardly have any people."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 October 2008
Rating:

'Johnny The Snowman' Is Melting Fast

McCain decides to 'retool' his campaign. He knows the hatchets didn't work so his aides have ordered 10,000 wrenches from Home Depot and they'll soon start tossing them into Obama's campaign.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 October 2008
Rating:

"She's Back"

The word on the streets back in Alaska is that if McCain loses on Nov.4, on Nov. 5, about 3,000,000 moose are running like hell for Canada!!!

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Cashley Cole Boos Arthur Pewty

Pewty responds: 'It's a piss take.'

written by Skoob1999, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Usain Bolt Happy With Training Regime

Yeah man, me so happy with the training. Me run 100 meters this mornin and when I looked back me saw meself catchin me up

written by Skoob1999, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Culinary Evangelicals applaud latest diet

Evangelists make new claims defending pending pedophile allegations that "puberty is the age of sexual consent and that pubic hair is a natural source of fiber and niacin."

written by Wordsmith, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Study reveals that plane crashes are more than just an accident

Studies have proven that there is a romantic link between airplanes and the ground during a plane crash, it is actually the planes method of affection and can be defined as a kiss and proposition.

written by Wordsmith, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Economic woes but WHOA

You know the economy's bad when the Dow Jones gets so low that homeless people are buying shares of stock and smoking it to get high. Incidentally, a recall has been issued on all White House staff.

written by Wordsmith, 15 October 2008
Rating:

PSA - Oxford Dictionary making changes

Due to myriads of lexical innovations and today's ever-changing universe of etymological linguistics the term "corn on the cobb" has been officially changed to "corn on the ground."

written by Wordsmith, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Starbuck's Coffee debuts another drink to make one think WTF

There is a new frozen Starbuck's drink called "Enigma," it's a coffee enema that tastes like a riddle wrapped in a Huggies diaper.If your salivating, then your probably just constipated.

written by Wordsmith, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Remodeling the Pentagon viable?

It has been reported that Government officials are so seedy and one dimensionally square that they are in the planning process of rebuilding the Pentagon into a more comfortable geometric circle.

written by Wordsmith, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Meteorologist makes twisted prediction

Renowned weatherman Gilbert Gnarley states that goals to stave off global warming will be met when we see a tornado touch down and begin distributing snow cones to all the children.

written by Wordsmith, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Man suffering from more than just PE

Man shoots self in arm after his girlfriend denied him sex and then prematurely ejaculates on his bottlecap collection.

written by Wordsmith, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Company that manufactures Transformers ups the ante

The popular toy brand Playskool is scheduled to launch its line of homeless people transformers, or destitutes that can turn into cardboard boxes which will be popular when the stock market crashes.

written by Wordsmith, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Did You Know

That recent studies have shown that banging two coconuts together can ward off Crohn's disease while simultaneously plagiarizing a Monty Python sketch.

written by Wordsmith, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Russian Borealis sightings confirmed

Vladimir Putin's head seen floating over Alaska, astronomers describe the rare phenomenon as a clash between the Aurora Borealis and the egomaniacal exhalation of his birthday.

written by Wordsmith, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Gangs armed to the yin yang with semi-automatic rainbows

Move over Crips and Bloods, and make way for the Apple Dumpling gang, a gaggle of giggling sodomites that steal people's booty and trade it to the homeless for candy to use in their piƱatas.

written by Wordsmith, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Memo to Sarah P.: That's Why They Call Him 'McSame'

Sarah Palin stated that the way Barack Obama is talking, he sounds as if he's running against Bush...well hallelujah, the dog-sleding hockey mom FINALLY got it!

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Gun Check Boys...and Girl

Obama and McCain say they own no guns. Biden says he owns three shotguns. Palin remarks, "Let me see...I own 843 guns including four grenade launchers, six bazookas, and a surface-to-air missile."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Madonna's Latest Tour: "The Like A Material Divorce Tour"

Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie announce (again) that they are divorcing. Madonna told a reporter "and we are going to keep announcing it until people start paying attention."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 October 2008
Rating:

"Johnny, I'll Be Borrowing The Helicopter For A Few Hours."

A polar bear at a Milwaukee Zoo accidentally slipped and fell into a moat. No problem. Sarah 'The Alaskan Annie Oakley' Palin has grabbed one of her guns and she is helicoptering in to shoot it.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 October 2008
Rating:

UN Handwashing scam

Millions of children around the world are to use soap and water to mark the UN's first Global Handwashing Day. However, this is a scheme thought up to keep soap manufacturers in businesses.

written by IN SEINE, 15 October 2008
Rating:

New Brand of Condom on sale

Durex have just launched a new profylactic, 'The Stealth Condom' Sales managers are said to be delighted with it's promotional slogan: "They'll never see you coming!!!"

written by IN SEINE, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Ringo no more fan mail

Ringo Star can't answer fan mail because he is dead and upset that fans have not realized this yet.

written by disciple, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Just Keep Your Receipt

NASA to repair The Hubble Space Telescope. Delay costs NASA $10 million a month. NASA called Radio Shack and a Mr. Bubba Sinclair says he can fix it for a $95 service charge plus $35 an hour.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 October 2008
Rating:

South Still Suspicious

In the latest polls, nearly 20 percent of the southern United States still believe that Barack Obama is secretly an Islamic Terrorist-Sympathizing A-Rab Cannibal.

written by Bureau, 15 October 2008
Rating:

McCain Flies Home

Presidential candidate John McCain during a speech in Oxford, Mississippi today was hauled off the stage by his supporters for not going after Obama and tarred and feathered. He immediately flew home.

written by Bureau, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Sants's Helpers Hard At It

Word from the North Pole is that for the past six months Santa's little helpers have been sanding off "Made in China" and replacing it with "Made in Chicago".

written by Bureau, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Meditating Mice

A new study released yesterday shows that meditation by mice works. However, so far, no one can figure out exactly what the little buggers are meditating about.

written by Bureau, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Not To Worry

George Bush tried to reassure Americans today that the economy wasn't as bad as they thought and not to worry about Wall Street. "If Iran ever gets those nucular rockets going, we're all dead anyway."

written by Bureau, 15 October 2008
Rating:

Riot Over Bank Closings

People in Little Rock, Arkansas took to the streets Monday, turning over cars and setting some on fire before police told them that the reason the banks were closed was because it was Columbus Day.

written by Bureau, 15 October 2008
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