Cosmetic Factory Explodes
An explosion at a cosmetics factory in Trenton, New Jersey has left 54 woman and 16 men looking like cheap whores.
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written by
Bureau, 05 November 2008
Bush Pardons Self
President Bush says that he may pardon several people before leaving office, including himself, for his indiscretions at the July 4th John McCain Baked Bean Fundraiser.
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written by
Bureau, 05 November 2008
New Chain Restaurant A Hit
A new Chain Restaurant opening in the Los Angeles area is proving to be a big hit with bikers!
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written by
Bureau, 05 November 2008
A Must Gift
The Sears Company is hoping to raise it's sinking stock by announcing that it will have its new hybrid-microwave oven out just in time for Christmas.
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written by
Bureau, 05 November 2008
Eco In The Congo
Ecologists report that in the Congo, they are conducting an experiment with grapevines as an alternative means of transportation.
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written by
Bureau, 05 November 2008
Naked Man In S.F.
In San Francisco, California, a naked man who claimed he was taking a shower when an earth tremor shook the building he was visiting, still had on his socks.
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written by
Bureau, 05 November 2008
Oh Bummer!
John McCain has developed a 'chip' on his shoulder. He claims he lost the election "because he was white."
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Playboy Finances New Telescope
Hugh Hefner announced this morning that Playboy Magazine Inc, will finance the lauching of the new Hubba Hubba Telescope into space.
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written by
Bureau, 05 November 2008
Kim Jong il Ill
North Korea has finally announced that Kim Jong Il is having health problems. "He's totally paralyzed from the neck up", stated one insider.
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written by
Bureau, 05 November 2008
Bi-Polar Club At It Again
In Alaska yesterday, the Bi-Polar Club jumped into freezing water in their bathing suits and then quickly ran for their hot tubs. Then they ran back into the icy waters and back again to the hot tubs.
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written by
Bureau, 05 November 2008
Mom & Pop Store's Stock Now Ten Cents
"Mom & Pop Stores" stock dropped again for the 977th day in a row as seventeen new Wal-Marts opened despite the nation being in a recession.
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written by
Bureau, 05 November 2008
Voting Problems In Florida Again
According to newspapers in Florida, voters there yesterday were still having problems, even before voting. Instead of standing in line, many were walking around in circles.
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written by
Bureau, 05 November 2008
Asking For Handouts
A quick poll conducted three days after Halloween shows that most kids who went through their neighborhoods asking for handouts were dressed as bankers and stockbrokers.
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written by
Bureau, 05 November 2008
Government advice on entertaing cats
The UK League of prostitutes have have lodged a complaint about the DeFRA booklet giving advice on how to entertain pets. They say that their 'pussies' should NOT be entertained ...like that!
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Obama Campaign is Inspired
Barak Obama said today the election-winning slogan that he used "We need change", actually came from a drinks vending machine.
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McCain: You want fries with that?
Failed presidential candidate John McCain has announced he is 'going into fast food'. 'Why Not?' he said, Senator Ronald McDonald did nicely after he lost in 1968!'
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Mexican Interior Minister killed in a plane crash
Juan Camilo Mourino, the government nemesis of Mexico's powerful drug cartels, was killed today in yet another weirdly expedient plane crash when his aircraft exploded shortly after take-off.
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written by
Rusty, 05 November 2008
"Give Me Five"
A new national study shows that women have a greater variety of bacteria on their hands than men do. However, the same study also found that men scratch their crotches more than women do.
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Obama to Pardon OJ
Barack Obama announced that he will pardon OJ Simpson once he takes office as President. "I've always been a fan of The Juice," said Obama. "The man could slice through like no other running back."
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Mad Doctor
Dr. Herman Testie remains angry at everybody and everything...
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