New Search Engine
As porn is the number one use for the internet, it now has its very own search engine: www.go-ogle.xxx; Google are said to be furious that they didn't think of it.
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written by
IainB, 28 November 2008
Switzerland's Tourism To Increase 1,000 Per Cent
Switzerland is pioneering a program that will provide prescription heroin. You can hear it now, "Honey run down to the drugstore and pick up a gallon of milk, a loaf of bread, and some heroin."
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British crew escape pirate hijack
Two British security guards escaped from Somali pirates by jumping overboard from a chemical tanker. Their employers are livid: "It's pointless having security guards, if all they do is bugger off."
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Man headed world paedophile ring
Well, a child wouldn't.
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Icelanders Rioting As Assets Frozen
In Iceland, there were more riots this morning as citizens revolted against the financial crisis there. Police report thrirteen more cases of frostbite as rioting seems to be having a snowball effect.
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written by
Bureau, 28 November 2008
Bush Reducing Troops
President Bush, in order to reduce troops in Iraq and Afghanistan before leaving office, stated yesterday "No more fatty foods, heavy desserts, shit on a shingle until slimming down completed."
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written by
Bureau, 28 November 2008
Filabuster Channel Closing Down
More bad economic news as "The Filabuster Channel" has fired all it's employees and will completely close down just as soon as the current old fart shuts his yap.
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written by
Bureau, 28 November 2008
Country Pissed
NASA has ordered top priority to the urine-to-water machine. "We need to take advantage of the country being this pissed", stated one official.
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written by
Bureau, 28 November 2008
Fiber Working For Hillary
Political insiders say that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have a close working relationship. Both credit eating lots of fiber, unisex toilets and eight glasses of water a day.
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written by
Bureau, 28 November 2008
GMC Cancels Tiger Woods
General Motors has announced that they have cancelled their contract with Tiger Woods to save some cash. However, a GMC executive added, "But we're not quite out of the woods, yet!"
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written by
Bureau, 28 November 2008
Obama Motto Changed
President-Elect, Barack Obama said yesterday that there are no "Quick, easy solutions" for our economy. Apparently "Yes We Can" has already been replaced by, "Yes, We're Canned".
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written by
Bureau, 28 November 2008
Attempted Coup In Bissau
Not only the terrorist attack in India, but an attempted coup in Bissau, Guinea-Bissau has many people shaking their heads this morning, asking themselves, "Who or what's a Bissau, Guinea-Bissau?
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written by
Bureau, 28 November 2008
Hey, Grandma You're Tree Smells Kinda Funny
A zoo in Bloomington, Illinois has created Christmas ornaments made from dried reindeer droppings. What's next, cologne made from hippopatamus pee?
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A man has been released from Prison after a brief spell as a Kleptomaniac.
He is said to be taken something for it.
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