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Jay Leno's Next Job

Jay Leno says that once he leaves The Tonight Show that he is planning on renting out his chin as a billboard.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 November 2008
Rating:

The First Lady's First Book

First Lady Laura Bush has written a book. It will include sketches of what her husband thought the weapons of mass destruction looked like. The book is titled, "My Life With Old You Know Who."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 November 2008
Rating:

Meteorite Hits Canada

A large meteorite was seen streaking across the sky in Saskatchewan, Canada last week. Thus far scientists and astronomers have only identified it's landing area as "somewhere near the Kent farm".

written by Bureau, 25 November 2008
Rating:

Consumer Holiday Warning

A consumer watchdog group is warning the public that if they are presented with Christmas gift cards this year to be sure that they are made out by the U.S. Federal Government.

written by Bureau, 25 November 2008
Rating:

Mouse To Supermouse

Scientists report that the changing of one gene has turned a laboratory mouse into a supermouse. Cries of "Here I Come To Save The Day" have been heard outside the lab door.

written by Bureau, 25 November 2008
Rating:

NBC Special

President-elect Barack Obama has agreed to a one-night special on NBC hosting, "Who Wants To Be The Next Secretary Of Defense?" "He owed us one", stated one executive.

written by Bureau, 25 November 2008
Rating:

"Seven-Days-A-Coupling"

Pastor Ed Young of the Grapevine Church issued his 7-straight days of sex sermon to married couples last weekend in Texas. Young then spent Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights paying hospital visits.

written by Bureau, 25 November 2008
Rating:

Neanderthals May Have Talked

New DNA analysis proves that Neanderthals were capable of speaking like humans. Key phrases like "Pull Ogg's finger" still in use by today's Neanderthals.

written by Bureau, 25 November 2008
Rating:

Economy "Whole Lot Worse"

Latest Report: The U.S. economy is a "whole lot worse" than previously thought. This replaces the previous report that the U.S. economy is a "lot worse" than previously thought.

written by Bureau, 25 November 2008
Rating:

Iraq Asks Troops To Leave

Several Iraqi leaders have now requested that the United States pull their troops out of Iraq. They have also made the same request of Syria, Iran, Jordan, Egypt and Saudi Arabia.

written by Bureau, 25 November 2008
Rating:

Another Bush Turkey Pardoned

President Bush has not only pardoned 14 convicts but has now pardoned the official White House turkey. This was the first official White House turkey he has pardoned since Scooter Libby.

written by Bureau, 25 November 2008
Rating:

Yet Another Bank Bailout

In the wake of the recent rush of UK bank crisies the Royal Sperm Bank of Smegmadale has jumped on the bandwagon and requested a temporary loan of the government's top wankers.

written by Rusty, 25 November 2008
Rating:

Big Blow

Fat girls give better blow-jobs, official.

written by Mahavishnu BBZ, 25 November 2008
Rating:

Swimming Shorts

An ex-Olympic swimming & big moustache star has come out of the closet. Without naming names, we'll just say Mark Spitz, but his boyfriend swallows . . .

written by Mahavishnu BBZ, 25 November 2008
Rating:

Grandmaster Blush

It is reported that anti-drug song "White Lines" is the most requested song by cocaine users in nightclubs across the globe.

written by Mahavishnu BBZ, 25 November 2008
Rating:

Italy inundated with Benitos

Italy is becoming bankrupt after a political party is offering €1,500 for everyone who names their child Benito or Rachele after their fascisist leader.

written by IN SEINE, 25 November 2008
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