The 51st State?
The Russian National Department of Tourism has just released their brand new slogan for 2009: "Visit Russia, Sarah Palin can see us. We want you to see us too."
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Sarah's Russia
Sarah Palin has just received a letter from Russia's Prime Minister Vladimir Putin. He told her how much he truly appreciates the millions of dollars of free publicity she has given his country.
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Mexican Hairless Could Be Confusing
The Obama's are looking for a hairless dog since one of the girls is allergic to dog hair. One name being considered is Paco. But it's been pointed that it could be confused with the new V.P., Pluggo.
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written by
Bureau, 13 November 2008
Holmes, Cruise Divorce "Fate"
Katie Holmes called it quits, saying a divorce was bound to happen eventually. She said the final straw was when Tom began stockpiling illegal pornography featuring Catholic priests and young boys.
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Amazing Japanese Confession
An 82-year-old former Japanese filmmaker has admitted to several U.S. reporters that the Japanese movie about Godzilla did indeed use some lip-synching, especially in the case of Raymond Burr.
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written by
Bureau, 13 November 2008
Doing Lunch at White House
The Obama/Bush meeting and meal at the White House went really well earlier this week according to Barack Obama's bodyguard, "Joe The Food-Taster".
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written by
Bureau, 13 November 2008
Sheik Out Stumping
The legless sheik, Khaled al-Harbi, is out stumping for direct talks between Osama bin Laden and Barack Obama according to ABC News.
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written by
Bureau, 13 November 2008
Living Longer, Not Better
Study: Consuming red wine actually does make people live longer but in bad shape following all the automobile crashes.
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written by
Bureau, 13 November 2008
The Amazing Fidel
Amazingly, Fidel Castro was able to constantly take a drink of water while brother Raul was giving the State of Cuba two-hour speech this week.
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written by
Bureau, 13 November 2008
Craig Welcomes New Faces, Shoes
Report: Lots of new faces in Washington as the democrats won even more seats in both houses, last Tuesday. Both new faces and shoes are being studied closely by returning Senator, Larry Craig.
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written by
Bureau, 13 November 2008
The King of Bushisms
Hedge fund executives want a new public central exchange. President George W. Bush replies, "Man oh man, them landscaping fellas are never happy."
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Alliteration 101: The Letter 'S'
On Wall Street, 'Stocks see-saw after sell-out.' On Toy Street, 'See-saw stock sells out.'
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The New California Breathing Technique
An air pollution study in California finds dirty air kills more people than car accidents. Doctors are recommending that if people take half as many breaths they will double their life expectancy.
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'I'll Just Have Half a Saltine, Thank You'
Air France expects the air strike to cost them $125 million in lost revenue. The CEO of Air France vows to make up the loss by increasing the price of in-flight croissants from $2 each to $900 each.
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'His' & 'Hers' Times Six
Mormons in New York City protest same-sex marriages. One of the protesters remarks, "My six wives and I all think that same-sex marriages are disgusting and just so wrong."
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Regarding Your Luggage: Bad News & Bad News
A jet in Michigan collided with a small vehicle carrying luggage in an airport taxi lane. No one on the plane was hurt...meanwhile the small luggage vehicle reported 'no (Samsonite) survivors.'
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Left Coast Earthquakes
Five million Californians will drop to the ground in a disaster drill. They will 'pretend' to be in an earthquake. Meanwhile 500 insurance companies will 'pretend' to decline their earthquake claims.
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Stevie Wonder can see say doctors
Medical experts have come out officially and denounced Motown singer Stevie Wonder for pretending to be blind. They maintain he has 20-20 vision in both eyes. But, hey, while spoil a good act.
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Mr. Kipling is going to get well laid!
After a decade of research, scientists have discovered the secret of how to get a fat girl into bed. 'It's a piece of cake!' they revealed at a press conference earlier today.
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Irony
A widow in Brazil was killed when the hearse carrying her husband was rear-ended, knocking the coffin into her head, killing her instantly. It was ironic, because she'd had him assassinated.
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written by
IainB, 13 November 2008
Apec to cancel Christmas
World leaders meeting in Peru at next weeks Apec conference are expected to bak a proposal by the IMF to cancel Christmas this year.
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